Jowan was her friend- her best friend, so when he came to her in his hour of need, she agreed to help him and his girlfriend escape.
Yet here she was, standing just outside First Enchanter Irving's room, summoning the courage to go in.
To betray the person you consider a brother. She sighed. Maker give me strength.
"Ahh, Naeri. I trust you saw Duncan back to his room."
"I did, First Enchanter. Though…there is something I want to speak to you about. It's about Jowan."
Irving looked up from the papers on his desk at the mention of the other mage's name.
"Oh? What about him?"
"He wonders when he's going to have his Harrowing."
Naeri chose her words carefully. She did not intend on letting Irving know any more than she had to.
"He…has reason to believe that he'll be made Tranquil."
"I suppose that initiate he hangs around has told him, yes? No matter; the Rite will happen. Jowan will be made Tranquil."
"But why?! Jowan is a good mage and…"
"And he has been seen using blood magic. There is nothing I can do."
She couldn't believe it, couldn't fathom it. She trusted the First Enchanter, and as fierce a Templar as Greigor was, he was fair. Jowan wasn't a trouble maker; they'd have no reason to lie about this.
It took all her strength not to shout at Irving. To beg him, to plead with him. She couldn't lose her best friend, not like know that he'd be like Owain and the rest of the Tranquil mages: unfeeling with no memories of their lives before. He wouldn't remember the late nights in the library she spent tutoring him. The time he gave her that book of naughty limericks to cheer her up after she singed off her eyebrows. He wouldn't remember the times he comforted her when she was lonely and wiped her tears when she cried.
He wouldn't remember her.
No.
She wouldn't allow that to happen, she owed him too much.
Looking back on that moment, she should have stormed off. Instead, in her frustration and on the verge of tears, she blurted out, "Since you know so much, you must know Lily and Jowan are planning to escape!"
Naeri's eyes grew wide as the last word came tumbling out, her hand covering her mouth lest more secrets spill forth. Shit!
"Really? Interesting…how have you come by this knowledge? Do they trust you?
Irving eyes burned into her, awaiting her answer.
An answer he already knew. Naeri was no fool; she knew how this would play out. She reluctantly told Irving what the two had planned and surprisingly, despite his best efforts, Irving could not hide his fascination. The first enchanter was silent for a time, and Naeri wished he would dismiss her or condemn her for conspiring with them or something. Finally he spoke.
"You will help Jowan and Lily in their escape. When the time comes, no punishment will fall to you."
"What will happen to Lily and Jowan?"
"The Chantry will deal with Lily, and Jowan's rite will be done after."
"I…I can't. I won't!"
"As a mage of the Circle, you will do as I say. You serve a bigger purpose than you know. Blood magic cannot be tolerated. As much as I would like to spare him, I cannot be lenient on this issue. You think the Chantry cares about us? They tolerate us at best and if they could, they'd give us all the rite and call it charity! Lily must be implicated as well, to show them that they are not as infallible as they believe." He sighed wearily, looking at the forlorn mage in front of him.
"Naeri, if you wish to survive, you must learn the rules and realize that sometimes, sacrifices are necessary."
She nodded to him and turned to leave, sorrow and anger both fighting for release; this time she held her tongue.
"This is for the greater good, whether or not you recognize it now."
She was betraying her best friend- her brother- and the woman he loved. She was dooming them both and there was nothing she could do about it. Ultimately she knew Irving was right, but that didn't make her feel any better.
All she could say was, "I know. Thank you, First Enchanter."
