Disclaimer: I own nothing; JK is God.
Warnings: contains adult themes in later parts (i.e.: slash, course language, and a botched suicide attempt) OCC Draco, well, Slytherins in general.
All Draco Malfoy wanted to do was disappear. Vanish. Fade away from sight. He needed to escape all the things surrounding him. It was all too much for him to handle; his father, school, the inevitable war. His father wanted him to take the Dark Mark, yet to be a spy for the Light, as he was. The kids at school were…were hard to put up with. All the time it was 'Are you a Death Eater?', 'Do you have the Dark Mark yet?', or his personal favorite, 'Are all the Slytherins evil?'
Well, in fact, no, they weren't evil. They're just smart. Too smart to become Voldemort's pawns; too scared of their fathers not to. Draco needed an escape, so when he was snooping though the Restricted Section on the all access pass Snape gave him in 5th year, he found the book. The book that would change his entire world.
The books title was 'Evanescence', apparently named after the main potion in the book. It was bound poorly, and was worn at every corner. The pale indigo leather was torn, and the letters were fading. The pages were turning an ivory-yellow, and were crisp. Draco was almost afraid to turn the pages for he afraid he would lose his chances to finally be freed of the questions, the decisions, and the facts he had to face.
Draco checked the book out, and quickly ran back to the Slytherin common room. He muttered the password, and briskly went to his room. Pansy and Blasie watched the blonde boy avoid all the Slytherins worried glances.
"He's changed so much," Pansy whispered, leaning into Blasie, as he put his arm around her. "Every since he came back from Christmas break."
"I still don't believe he actually tried to kill himself. He hasn't been the same," Blasie whispered back, closing his eyes. He felt Pansy nod.
"I still don't know why he did it," the girl whispered.
.:.Two weeks earlier.:.
"Hey, Drake, do you have any…Ah!" Pansy screamed at the top of her lungs at the sight before her. Several Slytherins came running, Blaise was the first to her side. He blinked a couple times before he gathered the sobbing girl into his arms.
"Theo, get Snape. Tell him it's important," Blaise instructed. "Vince, Greg, use some tissue to stop the bleeding. Get him to the infirmary. Now!" Everyone that was informed to do something, did as they were told. "Ashford, get Pansy to calm down."
Ashford, a 6th year, gathered the now wailing girl into his own arms, and started muttering soothing words of consolation. Blaise followed the two big boys, and ran towards the medical ward.
Snape and Theodore arrived nearly five seconds after the trio and unconscious boy. Madam Pomfrey quickly shooed all the boys (and the professor) away, and went to work. After three cleansing charms, one sewing spell, and a blood repleansing potion, the Medi-Witch looked sadly at the sleeping boy. His friends, and Godfather all came rushing in, only to be shooed away again. The reason for that was because, in all her years, all her patients, Draco Malfoy was the only one who cried in his sleep.
.:.Present Day.:.
Draco was sitting on green velvet blankets, knees to his chest and the book open resting on them. He memorized the incantation he needed to say after he drank his potion. He wasn't sure what some of the words meant, for he didn't speak Italian. He didn't want to ask Blaise what it meant, because that would mean that the Italian boy would get worried, and fuss over him like he was his mother, and blah, blah, blah.
Draco already had most of the ingredients he needed except two, two very odd ones too.
i The dust of a reborn Phoenix, and three pure rain drops. /i
Draco knew that Dumbledore had a Phoenix, Fawks, and all he had to do ask for the dust, for they were reborn every month, at the beginning, and January was starting in two days. What really stumped him was how to get three pure rain drops. He didn't know if anyone sold them, if Snape had any, or how to purify actual rain drops.
"I should ask Granger, she'd know what to do. She's too smart for her own good," Draco muttered, his voice very quiet. As he closed the book, and laid it on the nightstand next to him, he never once noticed his hands shaking.
.:.The Next Day.:.
Draco was awaken by Pansy's hand on his shoulder. Sliver eyes opened to meet dull blue ones. Draco shoved the velvet blankets off, stood up, and in a very un-Draco way, hugged the girl in front of him. She said nothing about it, because she was use to oddities that Draco was releasing on the Slytherins. The blonde let the dark brown hair girl go, and went to the loo.
Draco took a long shower wishing that he would melt and go down the drain along with the dirty water. Of course, he didn't so he turned the water off, and got dressed. He walked oddly slow down the corridor, and didn't watch where he was going. His mind was elsewhere. So, when he ran into Ron Weasely, it wasn't surprised when Ron turned around and started yelling at Draco.
"What the hell, Malfoy?" Ron hollered giving Draco his already appearing headache worst. The flaxen hair boy closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose.
"Not now, Weasely. Please on my aunt's grave, not now," Draco said, his voice quiet, and timid. Ron smirked, while Harry and Hermione was wondering way Malfoy wasn't up to a fight.
"What, is now not a good time for the Death Eater in-training?" Ron asked. "I should hex you to hell and back."
Draco's nose twitched, and his hands went to his Slytherin robe. People were now gathering, as Draco slipped his school robe off. Draco stood in the middle of the corridor, only in his jumper, tie and shirt, his scared arm opened for the world to see.
"Go ahead, Weasely. Hex me, Jinx me, Kill me. Do whatever you want. I don't care any more. You lot hear that? I don't fucking give a shit anymore!" Draco yelled for the hallway to hear, the first time in two weeks his voice louder than a whisper. The three dumbfounded Gryffindors staring not at Malfoy, but his pale arm. Draco waited a few moments more, before bending at the knees to pick his school robe back up, and throwing it on.
"I thought so." And the Slytherin left without another word.
The rest of the students in the corridor didn't get a good look at Malfoy's arm but the Golden Trio sure did. The word 'Dead' was in bold letters, and looked like it was so deep that it had to be sewed together.
"Speak of that to anyone, and I'll personally get each one of you expelled," Professor Snape said, appearing from the Great Hall to see what was taking the students so long. "Understand?"
"Yes, Professor. We understand," Hermione said, quickly. The greasy professor nodded, and went after the self-mulated blonde. "I want you two to promise on your life that if you speak a word to anyone beside us, that you sacrifice yourself to me, and the most deadly curse I can find that isn't illegal."
"Deal," both replied, because they knew that the bushy hair girl wasn't joking around.
.:.After Dinner.:.
Draco ventured out after the House Elves brought him some dinner, to find Hermione. Thankfully for Draco he found her when she was walking out of the Great Hall, by herself.
"Hermione!" The blonde called. Hermione whirled around and was shocked to find who was using her name. "I need you're help."
"About what?" she asked, not raising her voice, or showing the shock.
"How do you get pure raindrops?"
"Um…" Hermione muttered, tapping her foot on the ground. "Use a purifying spell, I would think."
"Merlin, why didn't I think of that?" Draco asked himself. "Thank you, Hermione."
"You're very welcome Draco," Hermione said, a small smile on her face. The blonde turned and walked away, towards the Headmasters office. When he got to the Gargoyle, it turned suddenly. The old wizard came walking out, and nearly ran Draco over.
"Oh, Mr. Malfoy, what can I do you for?" Dumbledore asked quickly. Draco bit his lip, and sighed.
"Has Fawks had his rebirth yet?" Draco asked suddenly. Dumbledore blinked a few times, then shook his head.
"Not yet. But it should be happening any moment yet. Why, may I ask?" The old man said, eyes twinkling in an odd manner that Draco's never seen.
"I just wanted to see it happening because we were talking about Phoenixes in Care for Magical Creature," Draco lied. Dumbledore knew he was lying, for the mere fact that the Slytherins, and Gryffindors didn't take Care for Magical Creatures until next semester. The headmaster just smiled, and moved aside.
"Watch away."
Draco bolted up the stairway, just in time to see the beautiful orange, yellow, and red Symbol of Immortality burst into flames. The dust fell to the bottom of the cage, and a baby Phoenix emerged from the pile. Draco quickly walked over to the cage. He unlatched the door, and the baby clicked its beak. It fluttered its tiny wings until it was rested upon its perch. Draco smiled at the child bird, and collected the dust in a bag.
"Thank you, love. You've just given me my wish."
.:.Two Days Later.:.
i 'Thank the Gods that it rained yesterday,' /i Draco thought adding the purified raindroplets in to the blood red potion he was mixing over his fire place. He stirred five times counter-clockwise, then he picked up the bag that held the last ingredient. He open it and slowly poured it in. the blood red potion slowly turned a slight magenta color, quite beautiful.
He twisted the concoction around four more times in the same direction, then one sudden spin clockwise. The magenta color then turned to a rosy shade. Draco picked up a vial and poured the brew into it. He lifted his wand, and muttered the spell that was to go with the Evanescence spell.
i "Lasciare la caduta di odio lontano. Lasciarlo è sostituito con qualcosa più
Evanescenza
Lasciare la caduta di mondo a parte, finché è giusto ci
L'evanescenza,
L'amore giusto…" /i
Draco brought the potion to his lips and drank it down.
Author's Note: Hello, everyone.
I realize that the spell isn't how it would be in the Potterverse but I don't know Latin (Which, in my opinion, is what all the spells/charms are based on) so I used Italian. I'll give you the English version.
i Let the hate fall away. Let it be replaced with something more
Evanescence
Let the world fall aside, until it's just us
Evanescence,
Just love... /i
Well, that's it for this chapter. Hope you liked it!