Knock knock.
Sweden sighed, setting a bubbling pot of stew on the back burner and walking over to the door. He hadn't been expecting company- it was just supposed to be Finland and himself tonight- and he certainly didn't anticipate an enraged England showing up at his house unannounced.
"We need to talk," England spat, clutching a piece of paper while the tall man at the door just stared at him blankly and gave a confused "hm?" He unfolded his paper to present the offending scribble. "Honestly, I expected something like this when I gave the little git some crayons, but then he told me it was you."
"...so? 't is. M' wif', too"
"Oh, of course, that makes it all better! Now, before your anatomy lessons further confuse Peter about what a wife is-"
Suddenly, Sweden understood what the fellow in front of him was ranting on about. That geographical coincidence Denmark always joked about. He lowered a massive hand onto the furious man's shoulder. He'd intended it to be comforting even though it was met with a cringe and an abrupt stop to the harangue, but at least the latter was welcome.
"Uh, y'seen me 'nd Fin on a map?"
"O-ohhhh." England's face blanched as he turned the paper over to look at it. "Sorry, I didn't think, er, I didn't want to think you were a nonce, it's just that-"
" 's okay. Y'care 'bout th'kid, 'sgood."
It had only been a matter of time until Finland would peek over to see what was going on. "Moi moi, England! Come in, you look cold and Su just made elk stew!" The now-houseguest was relieved that his expression looked nothing out-of-the-ordinary for one dealing with Sweden.