Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me. It's all the work of Squaresoft, now
Square-Enix.
I know that it won't stop 'Til I stand down from this for good This is a sick cycle carousel.
~Lifehouse "Sick cycle carousel"
"It's enough."
He stared blankly at her, not saying anything, not making a move. She hadn't expected him to. She'd known he wouldn't lift an eyebrow. And yet, she was feeling frustrated at him. Frustarted because he was so damn apathetic. He'd always been like this, she reminded herself, why would now be any different?
Because you thought he cared, her mind was screaming at her. Because you honestly thought he cared.
"This is enough." She repeated. He still didn't speak. He didn't even lift an eyebrow. She watched for any sign of interest or if he had even heard her at all. But he was just staring at her, his blue eyes boring into the very depts of her soul.
Hadn't it meant anything to him? She thought it had. He'd kissed her after all. But he'd pulled away then, gazing at her in shock or puzzlement, she didn't know. She almost laughed at herself. He had even smiled. Smiled. For her.
Or was she trying to fool herself?
"I can't do this anymore. It's enough. You've given me nothing, Squall. I haven't wavered, I haven't..." Her voice was cracking. Dammit, why now?! Why not after, when she was done, when she could go to her room, pack her bags and cry?
And still he wasn't doing anything. He was just watching at her, uninterested, it seemed to her. Uncaring. Well, she wouldn't care anymore. She'd stop caring about him.
"I know I was annoying at first." She paused, her gaze flying to the window. She couldn't look at him as she said this, it would hurt too much. His stare would burn her. "I was a spoiled brat. Still am, I don't deny it. I know I clinged and bothered you too much. I... I was immature." She gave a forced laugh, bizzardly amused at herself. "I still am that too."
The clouds were making fluffy patterns of small animals. A rabbit, a cat, a dog. She suddenly wish Angelo was by her side so she'd have something to hold on to ask she said these words she had desperately avoided speaking.
"You minded, I knew that. You didn't like me then. Hell, you probably just think of me as an annoyance. That's why this is enough. I don't need anymore and I can't do it anymore. I'm leaving Garden."
He wasn't moving.
She knew he wouldn't. He would sit and contemplate in silence and then he would shrug and move on. She knew him. She'd observed him for so long, she knew what he would do. His patterns, his indifference. And she even loved him for that. It had made him mysterious, attractive. She'd been drawn to him because of it, but she hadn't been able to crack his shell.
"I'm leaving Garden." She repeated, glancing at him. He wasn't responding. She turned around and moved towards the door. With her back against him, her tears started to flow and her hands tightened, nails digging into flesh.
He really wasn't going to stop her. He wasn't making a move to stop her. A small sob escaped her and she touched the door knob.
That was when arms encircled her waist and she was pulled back against his chest, slamming into him. Her eyes widened and he panted slightly in her hair.
"Don't go."
And it was all she had ever wanted to hear from him.
I know that it won't stop 'Til I stand down from this for good This is a sick cycle carousel.
~Lifehouse "Sick cycle carousel"
"It's enough."
He stared blankly at her, not saying anything, not making a move. She hadn't expected him to. She'd known he wouldn't lift an eyebrow. And yet, she was feeling frustrated at him. Frustarted because he was so damn apathetic. He'd always been like this, she reminded herself, why would now be any different?
Because you thought he cared, her mind was screaming at her. Because you honestly thought he cared.
"This is enough." She repeated. He still didn't speak. He didn't even lift an eyebrow. She watched for any sign of interest or if he had even heard her at all. But he was just staring at her, his blue eyes boring into the very depts of her soul.
Hadn't it meant anything to him? She thought it had. He'd kissed her after all. But he'd pulled away then, gazing at her in shock or puzzlement, she didn't know. She almost laughed at herself. He had even smiled. Smiled. For her.
Or was she trying to fool herself?
"I can't do this anymore. It's enough. You've given me nothing, Squall. I haven't wavered, I haven't..." Her voice was cracking. Dammit, why now?! Why not after, when she was done, when she could go to her room, pack her bags and cry?
And still he wasn't doing anything. He was just watching at her, uninterested, it seemed to her. Uncaring. Well, she wouldn't care anymore. She'd stop caring about him.
"I know I was annoying at first." She paused, her gaze flying to the window. She couldn't look at him as she said this, it would hurt too much. His stare would burn her. "I was a spoiled brat. Still am, I don't deny it. I know I clinged and bothered you too much. I... I was immature." She gave a forced laugh, bizzardly amused at herself. "I still am that too."
The clouds were making fluffy patterns of small animals. A rabbit, a cat, a dog. She suddenly wish Angelo was by her side so she'd have something to hold on to ask she said these words she had desperately avoided speaking.
"You minded, I knew that. You didn't like me then. Hell, you probably just think of me as an annoyance. That's why this is enough. I don't need anymore and I can't do it anymore. I'm leaving Garden."
He wasn't moving.
She knew he wouldn't. He would sit and contemplate in silence and then he would shrug and move on. She knew him. She'd observed him for so long, she knew what he would do. His patterns, his indifference. And she even loved him for that. It had made him mysterious, attractive. She'd been drawn to him because of it, but she hadn't been able to crack his shell.
"I'm leaving Garden." She repeated, glancing at him. He wasn't responding. She turned around and moved towards the door. With her back against him, her tears started to flow and her hands tightened, nails digging into flesh.
He really wasn't going to stop her. He wasn't making a move to stop her. A small sob escaped her and she touched the door knob.
That was when arms encircled her waist and she was pulled back against his chest, slamming into him. Her eyes widened and he panted slightly in her hair.
"Don't go."
And it was all she had ever wanted to hear from him.