Author's Notes: I don't know why I had the urge to write this. I have a feeling it will be rough, but I keep feeling that pull. I put a bit of me in this oneshot, writing as George is to Fred as I would to my twin sister if I were to lose her.
I wrote this as a little break from "Love and Other Notes," or more like procrastination because I'm about to write another Dueling Club scene for Chapter 15... those scenes are HARD to write.
Hope you enjoy this, regardless of how depressing or whatever it may be.
Update 12/6/11: I realized something wasn't completely clear about Victoire, so I made a small revision there. Hopefully it makes more sense, now.
Oy! Freddie! You listening to me?
It's been over a year, yeah, but I hope you're still listening to me.
You been watching me? Good. Just do me a favor and please look over someone else, maybe Percy, when I'm with Angelina, okay?
Yeah, me and Angelina Johnson. I know you two sort of dated back in sixth year, at least went to the ball together, but I hope you forgive me. She was there after the war, and she was upset over your loss (as we all were), and we comforted each other for the months that followed. One thing lead to another, and the next thing I knew she was snogging me... well... just don't shoot me with a bolt of lightning or something, okay? I think she may be the one...
Speaking of that, wait for it...
We're planning another wedding. You know how Ron and Hermione married that summer? After everything calmed down? That was something we needed after everything that happened that May. Really changed the atmosphere at home.
But we are seriously planning another one for this summer. Mum's elated. She loves this stuff. But it's Ginny. Little Ginny! Guess who the groom is.
Harry Potter.
Harry "The Boy Who Lived TWICE" Potter. Marrying our baby sister.
I KNOW, RIGHT? Did you see it coming? I didn't. Well, okay that's a lie, but I'm excited. He's always been practically family, and we get to make it official now. It was the same with Ron's wedding to Hermione. We were officially making her our sister.
Ginny got recruited for the Hollyhead Harpies. Honestly? Wasn't surprised when she got her letter. So planning the wedding between her practice schedule and Harry's schedule at the Auror Office, as well as making sure that we also work around Ron's Auror schedule and Hermione's schedule for the Magical Law Enforcement office is proving difficult. Mum's pulling through, though.
Victoire is huge. She was born on the anniversary of the battle, as you may have noticed, so that makes her about six months? Seven? Stop laughing, Freddie, you count things like this on your fingers, too. Bill and Fleur bring her by a lot, and Harry takes care of Teddy whenever he can, so you can imagine the antics that happen around here with a toddler, a baby, and the Weasleys. I take refuge in my flat a lot. And you know me, I like chaos. But two under two? That's a little much for me at times.
Store's good. Ron helps when he can, but it's just not the same without you. But I know you'll do something from the other side if I gave it up.
I miss you, Fred. People keep telling me that it will get easier. They don't seem to understand. Part of me, a big part, is gone forever. Never to return. Angelina catches me crying to sleep most nights. Some nights I just lay there, staring at the ceiling. She actually caught me in a ball on the floor of the shower one day last June.
I know you don't want me to wallow in it, but this void is so hard to ignore. The rest of the family mourned for a couple of weeks, but they're pushing on. I'm still trying to crack jokes and be the way I always was, but I'd be lying if I said things were getting easier. If anything easier, it's easier to fake it.
Sometimes I wish I died that day, too. So I wouldn't have to continue on without you. This was always my biggest fear. But then I think about it, and I have to live on for both of us. You're in me, you're forever a part of me. I need to help you continue living through me. But it's so bloody hard, Freddie. I see you every day staring at me in the mirror. I actually broke a mirror right after the war, did I tell you that? Smashed it with my fists. Had to go to St. Mungo's, they kept me there for observation for a few days. They thought I was suicidal. They wouldn't listen to me. Sure I told them that there are times I wished I died that day, but they seemed to disregard that part I kept telling that I wasn't going to off myself. We'd never be together again that way. You can't move on if you die in sorrow. You're stuck here on Earth. Do you think I want to spend the rest of eternity in the U-bend with Moaning Myrtle? Not bloody likely. But they still kept me for a week.
It never gets easier for me. My other half is gone, and that is a wound that will never be healed. If anything, the rough, sharp edges left behind when you were stolen from me have been sanded smooth by Angelina's love, but that's all.
Focusing on the positive is what's helping. The wedding is the perfect distraction.
The other day in the shop, one of the little red Pygmy Puffs got out. Lee, Ron, and I spent a good hour taking turns running after it while we still helped customers. I eventually found it. It was snuggling up next the photo of you I keep on my desk. It was staring at your face, you were staring at it, then it would look at me and chirp. You're going to find a way to kill me from where you are, but I kept that Puff. Named him Little Freddie. It's like it was telling me you were in it. And after the crazy chase it lead us on, I wouldn't be surprised. He's actually sitting on my shoulder, sniffing my ear as I write this out for you. So I guess you're still here in a way?
I miss you. You're my best mate, my other half. I may never be whole again, but I know you're watching over me (or possibly sitting on my shoulder in the form of a ball of red fluff, but I'd rather not think about that because Little Freddie is currently nibbling my ear... you're not that big a tosser). You'll always be watching over me.
Take care, Fred. I'll take care of Mum and everyone for you.