Enjoy this mess :)
Matthew was exhausted. After a 10 hour shift at the hospital all he wanted to do was eat, shower and sleep. Not in that order. Maybe in that order. Maybe at the same time.
He'd miraculously managed to drive home in the morning rush without sleeping, and stumbled into his home. Gilbert was moving around upstairs, and he could hear the disco music no matter how much Gil denied that he listened to it. But Matt was too tired to care.
He marched into the kitchen, intent on making pancakes, eating said pancakes and then sleeping. Showering could wait.
He grabbed the mixture he always had prepared in the fridge (he liked pancakes a lot, okay) and began heating a pan. The room soon became warmer, so much so that he could feel his eyes closing. He let them; he'd made pancakes enough that he was sure that he could do them blindfolded.
Gilbert came downstairs, hoping to get a hug and maybe steal kiss before Matt went to bed. Instead, he found his husband asleep, standing up mind you, in front of a pan of… was that the left over risotto?
Matt jolted awake, smiled at Gil and then looked down at the pan of risotto. He studied it for a few seconds, looking confused before turning the heat up slightly. The albino wasn't quite sure what to do: he wanted to see what would happen but he should probably stop Ma- and the Canadian had decided that the 'pancake' was done. He offered Gil one, and was refused after a few seconds of silence.
"…Nah…I'm good..."
"Mmmkay."
The now crispy rice was dropped unceremoniously onto a plate and the blond opened the cupboard for the syrup.
Gil was staring in a mix of amusement and horror as Mattie grabbed the first glass bottle his hand touched.
"Matt, I wouldn't use that-"
"Gil, I know its syrup. I'm not that tired."
"Sure."
The bottle of tabasco was then emptied onto the fried risotto disc.
Gil got his phone out.
Matthew took a large bite, smiling before he froze. He turned slowly to Gilbert, eyes finally fully focused.
"Fuck you."
That was all he managed before his tongue began to swell.
"You two are idiots when you're tired."
Arthur sighed as he sat next to Matthew in the emergency room. Alfred was too busy watching the video on Gilbert's phone, and Gilbert was trying to explain that he hadn't put tabasco in Matthew's hand when he wasn't looking.
It got 5 million views on Youtube.
Matthew's revenge got 7 million.