Title: The Danger of AOZU
Author: DnKS – giRLs
Rating: PG
Pairing: Ryoma-Ponta (!) and Momo-Ryo (kind of)
Disclaimers: erm… the last time we checked, those boys were still not ours…
Warning: Aozu and Ponta are two items that should not be consumed together. Further consumption can do several effects such as hallucinating, insomnia, dizziness, headache, and for worst case, schizophrenia and even death. So don't try to drink Ponta after you drink Aozu.
(Ryoma's POV)
My head is spinning, and I think the world is spinning too. Wait… the world is not spinning, it's rotating! Oh, wow, this is for the first time I can feel the rotation of the world. Or maybe it's because my head is spinning? No… no… what is the connection of my spinning head with the rotation of the earth? Earth? I thought it's the world which is rotating. Wait… so which one is rotating, the world or the earth? Or maybe both?
My head is still spinning. Why is it spinning? Oh I don't know. Many things just don't make sense when you're laying half-conscious on the balcony in the night.…Wait, what am I doing on the balcony in the night? I can't remember. What has happened to me until I end up in this situation?
Ouch, my head is spinning again. Maybe I should better not think. Yeah, that's right… and good thing I have the Ponta within my reach…
Oh, Ponta!
Reach for the Ponta, grab the can with your hand, and then drink it. Yeah, that's good. I feel better now. Maybe Ponta contains some sedative substances in it. Gee… now that makes me curious. How come I still remember such word like sedative when I even can't distinguish the differences between earth and world? Some things really don't make sense at all.
Wait! Wait… wait… wait… something has just crossed my mind…it's blue, it's dreadful, it's flying! It's a bird! No, it's a plane! No, it's superman!
I think I'm drunk…
Funny, I never knew before that Ponta can cause drunkenness. Does that mean that I should stop drinking Ponta now? But… but I don't want to stop! You can't make me stop!
Let's see… oh, there's a can of peach Ponta! I just need to stretch my hand a little bit and… got it! Hah! Lucky I don't have Momo-sempai around, or he'll absolutely get it first. Though sometimes, I don't mind. I still can get the taste from his lips… and kissing Momo-sempai's peach-flavoured lips is not bad at all. Now if I think about it, suddenly I want to kiss him. Momo-sempai, let me kiss you! I'll make sure that I won't bite this time. Let me kiss you!
Wait. Why the hell I want to kiss Momo-sempai? Oh well… I think I'm really drunk. I should get up and wash my face. OK, feet, get up! Yes, that's good. Now, reach the bathroom… but where's the bathroom? Oh, there it is… fine, some cold water will do. Sink your face in the water, Echizen Ryoma, come on, you're not a coward… if you sink your face, maybe you'll be able to kiss Momo-sempai…
Oh really? Please, maybe I'm drunk but I'm not stupid!
But still I sink my face in the cold water. It works, at least now the fog in my mind becomes clearer, though I still can't move straight. I grab the wall as my support and make my way towards the balcony again. I don't know why the balcony, so don't ask me.
I drop myself to the floor and count the number of empty Ponta can. One… two… ten… eight… wait, isn't eight supposed to come before ten? Fine, I'll start from the beginning, one… two… three… four… hey, I can count! Five… six… seven… eight… nine… ten… see, I know that eight comes before ten! Eleven… eh, only eleven? Strange, I've drunk more than eleven cans of Ponta before but I never got drunk!
Oh… oh wait… I think I know something… I remember… today I… Momo-sempai and I… we…
What the hell did Momo-sempai and I do today!
We couldn't possibly have a making-out session, right?
I grab the Ponta can, the peach half-empty Ponta can to be more exact and I stare at it.
"Ne, Ponta…" I say. Hey, I still can talk, that's great. "Do you know what has happened today? My head is kinda… spinning… you know, it's your fault! I hate you, Ponta!"
Then I laugh. Why do I laugh?
"Just kidding, I love you, Ponta, I really do," I say. "I love Ponta, Ryoma loves Ponta! I want to kiss you, Ponta, can I kiss you?"
I kiss the can of Ponta. Cold. It's different from Momo-sempai's lips… Momo-sempai's lips are always warm, and soft, and red… yes, his lips are so red. I want Momo-sempai's lips!
"Ponta, you're not Momo-sempai," I say. "Momo-sempai will get angry if his Ryoma kiss another lips else than his. Ponta, don't tell him, OK? I think Momo-sempai is not in good mood today after we drank that Aozu thing…"
Aozu!
Oh yes! That's it! Aozu! I remember now! Today we played bowling and… and Momo-sempai and I lost and… and then Inui-sempai made us drink a pitcher of his juice… Aozu!
Oh wow, so that's the cause of my spinning head!
I feel like finding the law of gravitation. I know it's not that great but if you consider the fact that I'm only half-conscious this time, you can tell that it's such a great development, right?
So, the cause is Aozu, and how can I get this feeling to go away from me? Maybe more Ponta will do. Oh, you still have some peach Ponta… let me drink it. oh, it tastes good. So it adds up to… eleven plus one, that's twelve, right? Hey, I still can understand math, does that mean that I'm not really -that- drunk?
"Now you're empty, Ponta…" I say to the empty ponta can on my hand. "So you're not Ponta anymore but a Ponta can. I love Ponta but I don't love Ponta can. So, bye-bye, Ponta can…"
I throw the Ponta can. Now I don't have even a can of Ponta anymore. Should I buy more? But I don't think I can walk in this condition. Actually, it's not Ponta that I want the most. I want Momo-sempai!
No, no, it's wrong, why I want someone like Momo-sempai at this time? My mind is rambling, it has to be.
I think I should go to sleep. At least now I know that Aozu and Ponta is a dreadful combination, maybe it's like putting Tezuka-buchou and Fuji-sempai in a court together, playing doubles… why is it dreadful, you ask? Well, it's because if that's the situation, they'll be busy making-out and didn't remember that they have to play. It's true… I have seen them doing that in the court once, but Tezuka-buchou has threatened to kill me if I say any word about it, so now I'll silence myself…
What did I intend to do, anyway? Oh, right… sleep. I have to make sure next time I drink Aozu, I won't drink any Ponta after that. Eh? Next time? No way! I won't ever drink that thing again. Never!
Where am I? Oh, right, I'm about to go to sleep.
I go to my bed, pull the blanket to cover me and close my eyes. I steal a quick glance to the clock and realize it's 2.15 in the morning. Of course I can't entirely believe my eyes…
OK, now, go to sleep, hope I have a nice dream.
Ah, I see Momo-sempai's face! Now, definitely it's going to be a nice dream…
the end –
(A/N : throw anything at us except the mixture of Aozu and Ponta (sweat))