Here's a little gift for a friend who had an amazing idea. It starts at the moment Jakob gets separated from Corrin at the beginning of the game and from that, it's totally a 'what if?'. So total canon divergence. It can be read as either Jakob/Corrin or gen, it's up to you! (alternate title: Suffer Buttler. Yes, with the pun.)
I recommend listening to 'Premonition' from the game OST while reading the second last scene, I wrote it while listening to it and it's oddly fitting.
Title: Lullaby of loyalty and lost opportunities
Rating: T
Genre: Angst
Word count: 3,197
Warnings: character death
His lungs were burning. Each of his muscles were aching, his legs were threatening to buckle under the weight of his exhaustion, yet Jakob couldn't even think about giving up for a second.
"Lady Corrin..."
The Infinite Chasm was far behind him, but not in his memories. He thought he was ready, he had prepared himself to anything, it wouldn't be the first time he would soil his hands for his master and yet... And yet, here he was, alone. The old man – Gunter, he reminded himself, Sir Gunter, not the old man – was gone. Had his body already reached the bottom of the pit or was he still falling to his death? Jakob shook his head. As much as he hated to admit it, he would mourn, but another time.
His lady needed him.
He could feel a weight against his chest. Safely tucked in his inner pocket, was a small gift he had received from her on a day, when they were still careless and ignorant of the future. She had most likely forgotten about it, after all it was only a white handkerchief, but he treasured it and kept it immaculate, kept it with him at all the time. At each step he took, it seemed that the piece of fabric became heavier. He went faster.
It had been hours since he had seen her, probably days. Not that he would know, time seemed to be twisted, deformed, around the Infinite Chasm and days and nights were all the same in Nohr. For all he knew, she could be gone too, slayed or pushed into the void by Hans.
"That damn bastard", he thought, "I should have seen this coming."
However, the ever-growing feeling inside his chest was telling him that Lady Corrin was very much alive. He had to find her, as it was his duty and much more than that. She had saved him, had seen his poor and alone soul and had reached out to him with her tiny little pale hands that had never had a friend before, just like him. This moment was forever engraved in his mind, an epiphany that guided him, gave him enough strength to slay with a swift use of his dagger anyone that would stand in her way. Anything to protect what little was left of her innocence. At that precise moment, he, a still small and ignorant child, had silently made a vow, that he would repeat each day.
"I pledge allegiance to you. My life is yours to use, my will is yours to command."
"Don't say that kind of things, Jakob! Your life has as much value as mine, don't throw it away for me."
She used to laugh it off. Both of them knew he couldn't be more serious about it. That's why he had to find her.
He came back to Nohr after the disaster at the border. Hiding himself in the shadows in fear of the royal family's wrath upon the discovery of their precious sister's disappearance, he learned quickly that she indeed wasn't back home safe in her fortress. If she wasn't in the country, then she was elsewhere. Jakob would have to search for his master in Hoshido. Crossing the border and staying unnoticed by both countries' sentinels was easy, far too easy for his liking but that was not important. He marched miles and miles, passing many villages, always hiding, always observing because rumors went fast. And rumors spoke of the return of a lost princess from Nohr. Jakob was not a stupid man. As surprised as he was, he could only be sure of one thing: his master was not and had never been Nohrian royalty.
It did not matter in his eyes. He had to find her and he had a goal now, the Hoshidan capital. Above all, he needed to hurry. The Nohrian troops were not far, the war following right behind.
"You there! Stop!"
The butler's run abruptly came to a halt. What appeared to be a half a dozen of Nohrian soldiers were surrounding him, pointing their spears at him and ready to throw it at any moment. So the army was already close enough. Tsk, couldn't they see he was busy and didn't have time for that kind of disturbance? Jakob snarled, squinting his eyes, waiting.
"You seem to be a Nohrian. What are you doing so far in the enemy country?"
Well, this was all he needed, being deemed a traitor. He knew he wouldn't kindly be escorted to the other side of the border as a citizen. More as a prisoner, to be questioned about his actions outside of the country. With a swift movement, Jakob yanked one of his dagger out of his inner pocket. If blooded needed to be shed to reach his goal, so be it.
"I do not have the leisure to give you any of my time. I suggest you move out of my way."
The soldiers raised their weapons, ready to strike. So was he. He jumped, twirled, dodged, bringing them down one by one. Yet, he was out-numbered. Something massive hit the side of his head and before everything went dark, he had one thought.
"Lady Corrin, where are you?"
A sudden and freezing feeling woke him with a gasp.
A Nohrian soldier was standing over him, throwing aside the metal bucket he had just used to violently spray him with cold water.
"His Highness the crown prince wants to see you. Get up."
With a groan, his vision still blurred from his forced slumber, Jakob tried to stand up, holding his head and trying to ignore the throbbing pain he was enduring. With a quick look around him, he recognized one of the cells of the lower levels of the Nohrian fortress. He had been stripped of all of his weapons and staves, dirt was stuck on his face and bare arms, his long and now not so immaculate hair was untied and falling around his shoulders, his jacket and boots had been taken off.
Footsteps, wide, regal-like, echoed around the stone walls. The butler got up, pushing himself off the wall. His Highness Xander was his visitor.
Both of them stayed silent, staring at each other in the eyes. Someone of his rank should not have been allowed to, but the rules didn't matter anymore as he had been thrown in the cells like a dog. He was not going to speak first, he had his pride. The prince wasn't his master. Surely he seemed to understand that. The royal finally looked aside, frowning.
"She is gone."
Someone gasped. Jakob later realized it had been him. He launched himself at the cell bars.
"What do you mean gone?! What have you done?!"
"Nothing. She made her own decision. She is not coming back."
Lady Corrin, his lady Corrin was gone. Had she stayed in Hoshido? Or had her never ending kindness forced her to abandon both of her families? He should have been there for her, he should have been there to support her when she was alone and afraid. He should have. But he was here.
"Why am I here? Why are you here?"
"I... I was hoping you could explain her reasons. You are the only person in this world who knows everything about her."
Was this the prince's idea of a joke? It was a fairly bad one. What did he want him to explain? What could he say when he was a mere prisoner, so far away from her? Yet, when Jakob looked up, the expression on the crown prince's face was one of regret, pain and loss. For a second, the butler felt his heart waver. There would not be any winner in this. They both had lost the same thing they cherished. Should the prince be stripped of his crown in Jakob's imagination, he would realize that they were not that different. Willing to make sacrifices to protect what they held dear. They knew better of the world's darkest corners and people and how valuable innocence was.
Nevertheless. His loyalty wasn't meant for him. It wasn't for Nohr, for its royal family that had thrown him aside to rot in a cell.
"I do not wish to share her thoughts. I believe she has made the right decision for her, Your Highness."
There was disgust in his voice, so much he almost spat the title. The look on Xander's face hardened. The prince straightened his back. Empathy and his begging look were gone from his face. "Do not forget your place, servant." He turned around, began marching towards the stairs to get back to the world above, to attempt protecting the faint and fading light of the sun above Nohr, now that one of its treasures was no longer here.
"Wait! You didn't answer me! Why I am here?!"
Xander stopped, hesitating. Without a glance towards someone he deemed useless in his newly found conquest, the prince sighed, answered and left.
Drowning in the silence, Jakob gripped the bars even harder, his delicate yet deadly fingers turning white with pain and sorrow. He was left trembling in the lower levels of the fortress with only his regrets for company, Xander's words echoing in his head.
"I assume that you are not a stupid man. This is war. Any suspicious activity in enemy territory or any affiliation with said enemy is treason."
Being called a traitor for so little did nothing to him. Hearing his mistress being called the enemy hurt in more way than one.
Hours went by, he didn't count. For a few of them, he tried to perceive any way he would escape but he knew better. Himself had thrown countless burglars and assassins in here in order to protect the royal family. If no one wanted him out of here, he would not get out. He would never give up though, his mistress still alive, he had thousands of reasons to move forward and fight. He allowed himself a few minutes of sleep, though, sitting down against the stone wall, a leg bent against his chest to rest his arm and chin on. When he opened his eyes a second time, he was only half surprised to see the second prince standing in front of his cell. He didn't move, didn't greet him. A soldier opened the door and Leo came in, bend himself to put down a poor excuse of a meal.
"Is this pity?" Jakob muttered.
"Perhaps. I have no wish to watch someone I used to trust with my sister's life slowly wither away. Unfortunately, this is the only thing I can do for you."
"Then maybe it's preferable that you go back to where you came from."
The mage slightly smirked, as if he was glad that there was still enough fight left in him. But the smile was tainted with a glimpse of sadness or regret, Jakob didn't know which one.
"What is this all about?" The butler asked. He had an unpleasant feeling of déjà vu.
"I..." The prince hesitated, but it was different. He gave a different feeling than his brother. Was it guilt in his eyes? "Maybe I am trying to redeem myself. But I know I will never stop blaming myself about my lack of power." He softly whispered. Then he pulled himself back together, as if this small confession had been a moment of weakness.
"I am truly sorry. I wish I had been able to prevent this, for her." Sorry for what? 'This'? Jakob wasn't fast enough to ask, Leo was already gone.
...Who was he kidding? The prince wasn't subtle. Deep down inside, Jakob already knew. His fate was sealed, so he wasn't surprised when Lady Camilla showed herself the next day, hips swinging with a hidden fury, but also with desperation in her eyes. At this point, Jakob was fairly certain that he was the most famous servant of the continent and had he been in another situation, he would have laughed at the irony. The royal family taking turns to visit him.
"Is it true that you do not know anything about her decision? Or are you lying like the filthy coward that you are?"
"Well, it is not ladylike to insult someone when you visit their new home, Your Highness." Jakob answered with a smug look in his dirty face. He looked filthy indeed, just like she had called him, his hair, clothes and skin had seen better days and yet, he felt more powerful than ever, facing the oh-so-perfect princess. He watched her blush in anger and embarrassment, clearly ashamed that her emotions had controlled her.
"You do realize that she is gone because you were too blind to her pain?" Trying to enrage her was probably not the smartest thing to do, but did it feel great? Oh yes. Jakob couldn't help it, it was hours and hours and days of frustration trying to get out of his chest.
"Wrong, wrong, you're wrong! I will do anything to get her back. If you truly won't share your secrets, then useless pawns such as you will be taken care of. I can not afford to lose more time with people that try to prevent me from reaching her."
Despite standing straight and proud, there was a crazy look in her eyes, something dark and twisted which made Jakob take a step back. He had never been fond of Lady Camilla's love for her little sister, but he never said a thing to Lady Corrin about his fears. This was something that would destroy everything in its path, including the two princesses. He had never imagined being the target of such a dangerous hatred and for a second, he wasn't sure that his cage was enough to protect him.
"Tomorrow, you'll regret your stubbornness, Jakob. I once thought that I could leave Corrin in your care without fear. It's a pity you chose the wrong side."
Jakob was left alone once more. A pity? He did not share the feeling. If it was the wrong side to be on, Jakob was the proudest man in this world.
Time went by, both slower and faster than ever. Jakob didn't count the hours he had left. They say that Nohr had been deprived of its daylight and that day and night were not distinct from each other. However, being born and soon dead in this country, he knew exactly when the next morning came with a subtle light through the narrow window in one of the upper corners of the room. In a few hours, everything would be over.
Something fell on the stone floor outside of his cell with a deafening noise, making him jump. He approached the closed door, trying to see through the darkness at the end of the corridor. He squinted his eyes. He was sure he had seen a petite silhouette trying to hide from his view.
"Lady Elise?"
The young lady gasped. It took her a few minutes to timidly take a few steps towards his cage and it was Jakob's turn to choke on his breath.
The princess looked terrible. Her pigtails were untied, falling around her frail shoulders, almost like a mirror of his own hair except that she didn't have dirt on her skin. But on her cheeks could be spotted dry paths left by tears, her lower lip was scarred with what Jakob could safely assume were her attempts to stop her sobs. Even her normally glowing pink on her dress seemed dull.
"Jakob... I'm... I'm so sorry! I tried so hard, I did everything I could, I beg everyone to listen to me but they didn't! I said it was unfair, that you didn't do a thing and that Corrin wouldn't want this to happen, but they didn't care and now they're going to execute you!" She began sobbing a new. She fell on her knees before him, hiding her face behind her gloved hands.
For a few minutes, he stupidly stood there, staring at the trembling form of the girl he thought would never be damaged by war and its horrors. This was the innocence he had been thinking about when confronting Xander and the latter was most likely not aware that what he vowed to protect was already destroyed.
He shook himself out of his numbness, reached out to take out of his pocket the only untarnished possession he had left. The small handkerchief he had never used before. He gracefully knelt as well, slid his hand behind the bars to gently wipe the tears from the princess' cheeks.
"My lady, you mustn't weep for me. Don't put yourself down for a mere servant."
"But Jakob, you're going to... I have to get you out of here!"
She seemed to have found a new resolve all of the sudden. Jakob answered with only a bitter yet thankful smile.
"I fear that there is nothing you can do for me now. Furthermore, I can not allow you to put yourself in danger of being called a traitor for trying to save me."
"But... What about Corrin?..." Elise bit down on her lip, tears forming once more in her eyes now that her hopes were crushed for good.
That stopped Jakob. All his life since he had met her, he had made a vow to himself. He had never lived a day without thinking about her and her well-being. Everything he had done, he had held her in his mind. And now, at this very precise moment, he felt selfish. Selfish because he was abandoning her, leaving her alone without any support in this cruel world. Alone without anyone to protect what was left of her innocence and ideals.
"Lady Elise... I need to ask you a favor."
"What is it? I'll do anything!"
"Please... When you meet Lady Corrin once again, give her this," he gently opened the princess' fingers and let go of the precious handkerchief, "and tell her that I never had any regrets. Tell her... That I loved her until the very end."
He closed her shaking fingers and smiled like he never had. He could feel himself tear up, but never let go. Elise didn't bother trying to hide her sorrow, crying louder than before. She pulled on his sleeve between the bars of the cell and wrapped her arms around him as much as she could. She cried against his chest, hysterically whispering apologies while he patted her on the back. They stayed that way, kneeling on the floor, until soldiers came to escort him to his last moments.
Miles away, Corrin gasped, dropping her sword without noticing. She didn't know why she was shaking that way, she didn't know why she was weeping, she didn't know what was that feeling of emptiness growing in her chest. But she couldn't stop the tears and cried for a long time in Azura's arms until her friend soothed her to sleep with a sorrowful lullaby about loyalty and lost opportunities.
Reviews are always nice to know what you thought of it! I hope you enjoyed~