Title: Unforgettable
Author: Melyanna In the aftermath of the Last Alliance Lindir learns he has lost his parents in the battlefields of Dagorlad and decides to go there, suffering an accident along the way and losing his memory, it is left for his lover to try to reawaken his memories and the love they shared.
Pairing: Lindir/Glorfindel
Genre: Romance
Rating: PG-13 for one seen, throughout, it is just PG.
Archive: LOM, OEAM, other, just drop me a line.
Disclaimer: I do not own anything you can recognize and mean no harm .
Feedback: Please do. grins. It would make me so happy, and productive G, wait..that might be dangerous. Oh but feed me! puppy eyes
Beta: Monica. I had the luck of finding her randomly, but thank you for being such a sweetie hon, and thanks for the help.
Thanks: Thanks a lot to Mira, you are incredible! Also thanks Orchyd for the help sorting out the timeline and elvish names. .
Author's notes: Written for the Lindir Group challenge of April and my sorted elements were: Emyn Muil, Cirdan and Lembas bread. I hope I did justice to the challenge. We had to fit those three words into the context of the story, with significant participation.
/ Taking a deep breath and smoothing his linen, sand colored, shirt, Glorfindel walked down the steps of the Last Homely House, heading to one of the separate houses in the valley. His steps were light and sure of the ground they stepped on, quickly leaving behind the small buildings he walked by.
Stopping in front of a medium sized house of simple architecture, but of fine material, the Elda smiled broadly, his heart accelerating, eyes rolling at the silly reactions. Running a hand through his soft, thick mane of golden hair, he walked the final distance to the door, that he again noticed was beautifully decorated with ivy's, surely painted by a talented feminine hand. On the bottom of the wooden door, clumsy - yet adorable to his eyes- flowers were painted, obviously by the younger, untrained hand of a child.
Three fast heartbeats after knocking, the door opened and an elf lady with a beautiful smile, sparkling green eyes and a pale blond hair appeared and greeted him politely, inviting the seneschal to come in.
Entering the well lit house was like entering the heart of the one he had come to speak of this night. The warm, inviting decoration made Glorfindel feel at home, his eyes scanning through the lovely room, also decorated with the skillful art of the lady who had welcomed him. He turned around hearing a soft call and smiled seeing the elleth with a tray carrying a steamy tea pot that exhaled the sweetest scent of roses.
"It is a pleasure to receive you at our humble house Lord Glorfindel. Please take a seat and I will call Thandvell."
" Thank you, Nestegil" The tall warrior sat in a well carved chair and sighed. He did not feel impressive and imposing right now. He felt the thrilling rush of excitement that brought memories of his youth, the anxiousness of seeking someone else's approval. With the rehearsed words playing back and forth in his mind he sipped the tea, the sweet and refreshing taste calming him momentarily.
A large framed elf appeared from behind a door and entered the room. He had shiny white hair, the most beautiful Glorfindel had ever seen, save for one exception. The sky blue eyes shone with intelligence and life. The calloused hand of a warrior stretched out to the Elda, who immediately rose and clasped it with his own, smiling nervously.
"Lord Glorfindel, welcome to our house. You should not have given yourself the trouble of coming here, my lord, you could have sent a message and I would have gone to you. Please tell me what it is that I can do for you." The elf said shaking their hands firmly and upon releasing it, he indicated for Glorfindel to retake his seat in front of the table while he sat right across him.
"This is no work matter my friend, and in my situation…it is the right and respectful thing for me to come here."
The fine brow of the younger elf furrowed, his wife standing next to him, a hand on his shoulder. Glorfindel swallowed hard and faced what he had to do.
"I came here to talk about your son."
"Lindir"
"Has he done something wrong, Lord Glorfindel It is not of him to do so…" The lady asked worriedly.
"No, he is not in any trouble. Unless you consider myself one.." Glorfindel smiled.
" What"
"I came here today because…" Glorfindel paused, choosing the words to use now that his prepared speech was completely forgotten. "I have feelings for your son. I love him." If he was not feeling so nervous, he would have laughed at the bemused looks on his beloved's parents faces; they seemed surprised, shocked, pleased and proud all at once.
" Our little Lindir? He has caught you heart" Nestegil's lips bloomed into a smile, a knowing smile. "I always knew he was capable of great things, but I never imagined this would be one of them."
Glorfindel felt his cheeks heating and was not sure what to make of her statement. He looked down at the father; he seemed serious, but not disapproving, merely confused.
"You love my son That is…surprising in the least, but what exactly brings you here"
"I realize I might not be the perfect choice for your son's first love experience, for first I am much older than him. Second, I look for a mate, or in the least a lasting relationship, which is usually not the way first relationships are. Being rather trysts or short even if sweet experiences. We have been friends long enough for you to know that Thandvell."
The blond shifted in his seat, his deep blue eyes lowering at the scrutiny of sky blue ones. "I am here," Glorfindel stopped, looked up as suddenly a flash of white appeared and he saw Lindir silently leaning against the door frame that led to the interior of the house, his cheeks flushed with excitement and the most stunning smile directed at him. His emerald green eyes were alive with the fire of youth and love. The last thought made Glorfindel's eyes lit up too and he locked them with those of the young elf that still had traces in his actions of the elfling that had painted the clumsy flowers in the front door. He looked down again at Thandvell.
"To ask you permission to court Lindir." There, he had said it.
Lindir's mother was grinning at him, almost chuckling with joy and amusement. Lindir's gasp of delight revealed his presence, but that went unnoticed by the one sitting across the Elda.
" Glorfindel…" Thandvell put aside the titles, now that the proper welcoming had been done. He and Glorfindel were long time friends working together to train the Imladris' forces and there was no need for such.
"I would never say you are a bad choice for my son. You are incredibly honorable and I am proud to know my son can sparkle such great feelings in one as great as yourself. And proud of you for having such a good taste." He teased, being more relaxed now that he could see the Elda's emotions reflected in his eyes. "But is he agreeable to this"
"Why do you not ask him, my love." The elleth said motioning for Lindir to join them, which he promptly did, standing between his parents and looking adoringly down at his love.
"Lindir," Glorfindel stood up, his breath caught, just like every time he saw the young elf. Bowing his head he thought of refraining from taking the slender hand in his a placing a loving kiss upon it, but could not resist it. Both elves blushed at the warm laughter they heard and a sigh of relief fled from the older elf's lips seeing his long time friend smiling up at him.
"Lindir" Thandvell repeated the question, curiously watching how his son reacted to the seneschal's presence.
"Aye Ada, I am agreeable to this, I…love him" He said looking down at his hands, his adorably young face stained pink.
After that day Glorfindel had light heartedly accepted all the teasing of being an elfling in love again. He and Lindir took things slowly, they had time, and they wanted to make the most of it. They spent their free time together, always in some new adventure Lindir convinced him to take part in or simply enjoying each other's company no matter the setting. Their favorite place though, was under an apple tree, located almost in the center of the gardens, constantly bathing in the sunlight or the silvery white rays of the moon. In rainy days they would read and sing and all who passed by the library would leave with a smile upon hearing their laughter echo in the room.
The small touches they shared were treasured and slowly developed into more, the sweetness of his lover's kiss had always been his weak spot.
Things had grown, their love and intimacy as well and Glorfindel's heart asked for more, more than the body could give and he asked Lindir to bind to him, to share his life and soul for they belonged to him already. They had been planning the ceremony when he had to leave for war./
"Glorfindel." The soft voice called
"Glorfindel." Elrond spoke firmly this time, gently touching his friend's shoulder to wake him from reverie.
"What Oh, I am sorry Elrond, I did not hear you." Glorfindel sighed tiredly, his back sore from riding a horse for so long, his spirit heavy for all he had seen. He examined Elrond and smiled sorrowfully at him. The half-elf had deep dark circles under his eyes and the trail of dried tears could be seen clinging to his face.
"It is all right, we are all exhausted, in body and mind." His tone was sad and quiet. "I just wanted to show you, we are almost there, you will be reunited with your Lindir shortly." Elrond smiled half heartedly indicating the entrance of Imladris. His heart rang heavily with sorrow in his chest, but relief also flowed through him. He had missed this Valley.
Making their way to the main house, Elrond was respectfully welcomed back to Imladris and the others were all warmly welcomed by their families and loved ones, save for Glorfindel, who scanned the entire courtyard and did not spot Lindir. Dismounting his horse, and patting it's back, he thanked the stallion for being his companion throughout this difficult journey. He handed the animal to one of the care-takers of the stables and walked his way to the first steps of the house. His heart ached from not having his lover near when all others seemed so happy to be reunited with theirs.
"Glorfindel!" The blond looked up, but the voice did not fool him, and just as expected, Erestor descended the stairs hurriedly, embracing his long time friend. Glorfindel gladly answered the hug.
"Ah my friend, I came down as quickly as I could when I heard you and Elrond had arrived. I know it is not a time to be happy, but I am glad it is over, and that although many have died, many have come home safely." Erestor said patting his friend on the shoulder and smiling weakly. Glorfindel nodded.
"I am glad to be home again, Erestor and to find you all safe."
A knowing smile appeared on the chief advisors face. "Was I the first one to greet you"
"Yes, you were. Have you seen him"
"Not today, but lately he has been acting strange, almost afraid of the day you would come home. He said he has a bad foreboding about something. We tried to keep him occupied as best as we could, but no doubt his mind kept drifting back to you and his parents. His whole family went to war, it must not have been easy." Erestor explained gently.
"I can understand that, I just wish he had been here when I arrived. I wanted him to be the first one I saw. Hopefully Thandvell and Nestegil will be arriving soon, they were in a different battalion than ours and I did not see them at all, but after the battle was dying down, I heard a group was leaving for Lórien with some injured elves. I assume they were with that group as Nestegil was one of the few healers that survived and I hardly believe Thandvell would be parted from her." Glorfindel sighed tiredly after speaking and he cocked an eyebrow at the evident sympathy on the dark haired elf's face.
"You should go to your rooms now, we have people ready to take care of everything, we have been waiting for your return. Go to your rooms, bathe and rest. I believe you will find Lindir there. I have the feeling his presence will refresh you more than anything else. I will have a servant bring food to your rooms, you look like you need it."
Glorfindel teasingly rolled his eyes too tired to come up with an intelligent remark and thanked Erestor with one last hug before finally entering the house.
Looking around as if trying to remember every corner of the house, the Balrog Slayer took a deep breath. Even the air felt different here. The craftsmanship of the building struck him as if it were the first time he had ever seen it. The beauty surrounding this place… really felt like home, there was just one thing missing and that made Glorfindel decide on exploring the beauties of the house later, there was someone else he needed to be reunited with, urgently.
Opening his room's door took a moment after reaching them. It was almost unbelievable he had lived through this, another challenge in his life and he had been given the chance to overcome it. All Glorfindel wanted now was to hold Lindir in his arms, make sure he was well.
The silent door did not give away his presence as the blond entered the room. It all looked the same, warm and welcoming just like every place Lindir lived in. He remembered them redecorating it when the younger elf had moved in and he smiled. The books spread over the room and the shelves made to keep them, almost empty. The bed was neatly made, the scent of wild flowers he could see decorating each pillow on the bed, flowed through the room.
His attention was focused in the room for a mere moment before he noticed Lindir leaning over the dresser, apparently deep in thought. He still looked the same, slender and frail, his snow white hair trailing his back down to the waist. He still looked beautiful, young, innocent. Only Glorfindel knew how his lover's frail appearance was a mask to his bright personality. His heart ached from missing his love so much, he craved to see the sparkling green eyes, to see the inner light that burned in them.
"Lindir"
A soft gasp left the white haired elf's lips and he turned around startled, his eyes wildly searching over Glorfindel, as if he did not believe the sight before him.
"You have returned…" He said in a whisper.
"I have. I was sad when I did not see you in the courtyard with all the other elves." He spoke seriously, but merely to fill in the silence as he walked over to his lover, frowning when Lindir looked down to the floor.
"I am not your wife to go welcome you after a battle." Glorfindel's hurt at those words was evident. He stopped walking, the smile faded from his face. He had expected much, but not being received like this.
"Why are you saying this What happed"
"I...I am sorry." Closing his eyes, Lindir hid his face with his hands, sobbing softly, and he was surprised to feel strong arms encircle him and gently press his head against a broad shoulder.
"I thought…I was afraid you would not return with them and…it would hurt too much, to go there and see all return to their families and wait for you in vain. I thought that if I stayed here it would not hurt so much if you did not return, because I could tell myself I had expected it." Burying his head further into the warm comfort of Glorfindel's arms, he drew his own around the elf's waist. "I am sorry."
"Shh, it is all right, I understand your thoughts, and I am with you now, that is all that matters, not how you welcomed me, but that we are together now, both safe. I have missed you very much, my love." The warrior did not have time to kiss the top of Lindir's head, who seemed to have suddenly awakened and fussed over Glorfindel to make sure he was really all right.
Laughing warmly for the first time in a long time, the blonde messed the white hair of the slightly taller elf before him and silenced the complaint he knew was about to follow with a kiss. It was a hungry kiss, in which they unsuccessfully tried to kill all the time they had missed each other. Tongues moved one against the other, exploring as if for the first time. This closeness after missing it so much, seemed almost overwhelming and as a soft moan fled Glorfindel and the air started to become scarce in his lungs, the rhythm of the kiss slowed down, but their lips never parted. It became a slow, sensual dance as hands joined the action, caressing silk-like hair, and the soft skin of a cheek.
Finally parting, Glorfindel looked lovingly into the green eyes he loved and easily scooped Lindir up in his arms.
"W-what"
"I am going to give you a bath."
"Glorfindel do not be silly, you have just arrived home, I should be the one taking care of you." Lindir was amused sometimes, at how even Glorfindel seemed to be fooled by his apparently delicate nature.
"Ah, but I have always taken care of you, and I like it. And you need a bath, you smell."
Lindir's shocked look broke the laughter in the warriors body. "I smell�! What should I say of you, rolling with orcs and whatever other creatures you rolled on the floor with…"
"Is that an accusation"
"It could be…"
"Oh.." Glorfindel shook his head and set Lindir down. "Now you will have to walk to the bathing chamber on your own." Shoving the younger elf into the room, the Elda smiled to himself. He picked four towels and two sets of robes and then headed back to Lindir, who was now seated at the edge of the tub, gently running his hand through the water, mixing the scented oil he had poured in.
Glorfindel had missed this, the simple things, the uselessness of words, and it amazed him it would all return to normal so quickly. He knew the next day if not today, he would have to deal with injured warriors, organizing reports to document all that had happened, reorganize their men; but right now it was as simple as watching Lindir draw a bath, and it comforted him. Being an elf should make him articulate to speak of his feelings, but in that way the Balrog Slayer felt much more related to Men. He was not closed or afraid to feel, but clumsy with words, not exact of how to properly express his feelings. Or at least he had been; Lindir was changing him, helping him, but the quiet moments still pleased the Elda, it felt as if nothing needed to be explained or changed because it was simply perfect.
"Thank you for bringing the towels." Lindir smiled and took the robes and towels from his lover, setting the first neatly over a chair, away from the danger of being soaked up, and the second near the tub. Patting on the larger elf's chest he tugged at one of the lacings of the gray shirt indicating for him to take it off and proceeded to disrobe, swiftly entering the tub and sighing delighted at how the cool water refreshed him.
"Cold water.." Glorfindel muttered under his breath and entered the tub. "It is all right we do not feel as much cold as other races, but it does not mean we are senseless to the temperature of things."
"Stop complaining, you are getting old."
"What You are abusing your rights, child." Glorfindel said arching an eyebrow.
"See, you are even calling me a child! Come now Glorfindel, start washing your master." Lindir said smiling broadly. He had felt so lonely without Glorfindel close.
Glorfindel burst laughing and soon Lindir followed. Now that he knew his lover was safe, the tension the white haired elf felt had slipped away. Moving closer to the Elda, Lindir spread the well toned legs and settled between them, sighing and resting his back against Glorfindel's firm chest. His eyes fluttered shut as his hair was gently washed, the strong and caring hands massaging his head and drawing contented mews from the young elf. He did not even notice time pass.
"All ready and clean." Glorfindel announced after finishing washing away the soap from the other's body.
"Ah, you behaved yourself." Lindir sounded somewhat disappointed.
"But of course. Did you expect any less from me" The blond smiled innocently when Lindir looked over his shoulder.
"You are not getting that easily away tonight, Glorfindel."
"I surely hope not."
"I will make sure you do not." Lindir chastely kissed his love's lips and left the tub, covering his hair with a towel so he could dry his body without dripping it all over again, and then after being dry, he wrapped the towel around his waist and proceeded to dry his hair, smiling as Glorfindel bathed.
"I have not seen my parents yet." Lindir said feeling slightly guilty for having forgotten about them after being reunited with his lover.
"I do not believe they have arrived yet Lindir. They set off to Lórien during the battle, with the most gravely injured ones. Your mother's skills were a blessing during the war, but many of the healers were also wounded or even killed, and she was one of the few left to go there. Your father went with her, of course."
Lindir nodded seriously, his heart heavy at the uncertainness of how his parents fared, but they were performing their duty and he was proud of them for having important roles defending their kind. Lindir had long accepted he had not been born to be a warrior and he patiently waited for his true talent to show.
"I hope they will return soon and safely. No word has arrived informing of a party with Imladrian elves arriving in Lórien, I hope all is well."
Glorfindel finished drying himself and walked over to Lindir, holding him close. "I believe all is well. Times are troubled during a war, messages get lost…" He trailed off kissing Lindir's neck, his hands wandering over the elf's backside, pressing their bodies closer, the only barrier between them were the towels around their waists.
"You are already misbehaving."
Glorfindel nodded, hands firmly placed at the end on Lindir's thighs, he easily lifted the elf and carried him back to the bedroom, over to a piece of furniture resting against the wall, with nothing breakable adorning the top of it, for the very reason of how urgently he always practically dropped Lindir on top of it, making the furniture shake. His lover's legs spread to accommodate him between them, as he thoroughly ravished the younger elf's mouth, desperate hands seeking closer contact.
Lindir moaned and rested his head against the wall, tilting it up to expose more of his neck, that was now being attacked by the eager Elda. Blindly sliding his hands down the muscled body, he removed the towel from the blond's wait, grinning at the pleased sound he was granted and then removed his own, his long legs wrapping around the other, bringing him closer with a strong pull.
"Ah, I definitely missed you." Lindir said arching up, trying to create more contact between their bodies, his hands ached to feel all of the elf before him.
Deep moans left Glorfindel's throat as their bare skin met, it felt like fire was taking his body, and yet it felt good, he wanted more. Used to having these sudden needs of being together, the Elda's memory guided his hand to open a drawer, smiling into the patch of skin he was kissing as he heard the rolling of a glass vial due to the movement he had caused. Snatching the vial, Glorfindel broke the kiss to uncork it with his teeth but was suddenly stopped as Lindir took the oil from him.
"Hmmm, I do not think so." Lindir grinned and descended from the piece of furniture, standing achingly close to his lover. Pressing a hand against the warm skin of Glorfindel's chest, Lindir pushed him over to the bed and swiftly straddled him.
"How about we do it my way" He asked winking and uncorking the vial with practiced ease.
Glorfindel did not hesitate in allowing the change in their positions, looking up at the white haired beauty sitting astride on him.
"So I do not get to be on top" He asked with a teasing baby voice. "What do you think people would say if they found out you get to be on top more than I do"
Lindir grinned. "They would think you took a very persuasive elf as a lover." He said leaning down and nibbling on base of the blond's neck.
"True. They would also be very shocked to learn the things innocent Lindir does between four walls." Glorfindel said moving under his lover and smiling seeing the elf moan and throw his head back as their needs rubbed together.
"They would blame it on the amount of time I spend with you. Now will you stay quiet, I thought you were the one who did not like to talk much."
"You are right, I prefer having you scream."
"Oh good, then get started." Lindir said silencing Glorfindel with a kiss, as a slick finger probed the tight entrance of his lover's body.
Glorfindel whimpered in complaint when Lindir left his arms and left the bed, heading back to the bathing chamber.
"What are you doing" Glorfindel asked smiling at the sight of Lindir's perfect body walking into the other room.
"I am retrieving those clothes you brought for us to wear and were apparently utterly forgotten, and also a towel." Lindir said poking his head out of the bathroom and waving the small, dampened towel in front of him. Returning to the bed he set the robes aside and started cleaning Glorfindel and himself from the result of their passionate encounter, performing his task with an almost adoring look on his face, Lindir placed a loving kiss on his lover's member after finishing and chuckled at the growl he was answered with.
"You tease. I have missed you so much, we will need to be reunited like that many times to sate my homesickness." Glorfindel said pulling the white haired elf into a hug, nuzzling the soft hair.
"I will be glad to help." Standing up and smiling down at his lover, who laid sprawled on the bed, Lindir started to dress himself in simple gray leggings and a white shirt.
"Why are you dressing" Glorfindel asked.
"We cannot stay here all day, I mean you cannot stay here all day, I am sure Lord Elrond will need your help and if I stay, you stay, I know that well enough. Although I might be needed as well, to help organize the welcoming feast."
"I just hope you were not thinking of that while we were…reacquainting." Glorfindel grinned and lazily sat up on the bed.
"That is impossible, my love." Turning around surprised at the sudden knock, Lindir walked over to the door. "Put something on, I do not want anybody peeking on you." He said grinning and waited for the blonde to reach for a nightshirt that was resting in a chair by the bed, and shook his head at how lazy the warrior could be at times. "There are clothes in front of you."
"Nightshirt is better." Glorfindel grinned.
"Very well." Still smiling, Lindir opened the door and cocked an eyebrow at the flushed face of the elf standing on the other side. It was one of the servants of the house.
"You seemed to be in a hurry, come inside." Stepping away from the door, Lindir shot a quizzical look towards Glorfindel.
"I am sorry to disturb you my lords, but Lord Elrond asked me to fetch you as quickly as possible." The servant said after bowing respectfully before Glorfindel.
"You mean Lord Glorfindel is required " Lindir asked half correcting.
"No, he requested for both of you."
Lindir's brow frowned in deep concern, he had a bad feeling about this, he would not be called by Elrond unless something incredibly important, or serious had happened.
"We are on our way. Thank you." The white haired elf dismissed the elf and quickly put on his boots, heading for the door.
"Lindir wait! Wait for me, I need to dress."
"This must be serious Glorfindel, why would he call me as well"
"Maybe he needs to speak to me about the troops and you about the welcoming feast and called us both at once, do not look so worried." The Elda was half way lifting off his night shirt when Lindir flung the door open and stepped out.
"I need to go now." For some reason, Lindir's heart was heavy with worry, and although no logic could explain why, he knew this was not about a feast.
"Oh fine! Just wait for me!" Glorfindel called exasperatedly leaving the room only clad in the night shirt, looking around suspiciously to see if there was anyone watching. Quickening his steps, he finally caught up with his lover and together they reached Elrond's study, having an almost immediate answer to Lindir's knock.
"Enter." Elrond stopped pacing and turned around, arching an eyebrow at his Seneschal's outfit, but quickly dismissing it.
"Please be seated." The half-elf indicated for the two stuffed chairs in front of his desk.
"My Lord what happened" Lindir asked, sitting, but the reply was directed to Glorfindel.
"We have the list." Elrond's tone was grave and serious, his eyes reading understanding in his friend's ones as soon as they met.
"Can I see it" Glorfindel's voice shook, and his heart clenched as his mind raced, realizing why Lindir had been called as well.
"What list Why was I called as well" Lindir watched in puzzlement as Elrond handed a scroll to Glorfindel, whose saddened eyes scanned the paper, recognizing most of the names there.
"Lindir.." Elrond was about to start explaining when Glorfindel gasped in horror, looking up at him with tears swimming in his eyes.
"No.." The Elda whispered casting a hurt look at his lover. Lindir felt panic overtake him, not understanding what this was about, but dreading the worst. Standing up he took the scroll from Glorfindel's hand before the other could protest.
"This is a list of people who died in the war.." The white haired elf frowned and kept reading until every function in his body seemed to stop, his heart skipping several beats, breath knocked out of his body.
"My parents…" he said in a small voice, tears quickly forming in the green eyes and sliding down pale cheeks. "T-their n-names.." His lips trembled and small sobs shook his body as he did not fully understand what he had learnt. His eyes locked with the deep blue one's of Glorfindel and a keening wail left his lips. The Elda hurried to his lover holding him up just as Lindir dropped to his knees, horrified sounds left the slender body as it shook in spasms against his arms.
"NO!" He screamed and shoved the blond's arms away, supporting himself on the desk to stand up. "NO! Why" He asked angrily. "Why did you let that happen to them!" He screamed at Glorfindel, who looked back at him with raw pain in his eyes.
"GET AWAY FROM ME! My parents! My parents!" Lindir's body shook with rage and fear of the loss, of the unknown, burning tears ran down his face as he stepped back from his lover when Glorfindel tried to hold him again.
"Lindir, I did not know!"
"I pleaded for you to protect them! My family is dead!" he hissed. Elrond was momentarily taken by surprise by that reaction, but soon coming to his senses he approached the distressed elf and pulled him close.
"It is all right to hurt Lindir, to cry." He knew words mattered little right now, but was slightly stunned when the young elf shoved him away and strode to the door.
"Lindir, please wait!" Glorfindel pleaded in a desperate voice, his eyes reddened from the tears of pain and sorrow for loosing his friends, his family and now having Lindir push him away.
"Do not get near me!" Opening the door Lindir ran away from the room, but when Glorfindel tried to follow, he felt strong arms stopping him.
"No Glorfindel. Leave him for now."
"But Elrond, he needs me!" He looked at the dark haired half-elf pleadingly, and the half-elf almost relented, having seldom seen the elf so hurt and yet still thinking of Lindir.
"He needs you, yes, but now he needs to be alone. He will only push you further away and hurt you more if you try to talk to him! And at one point you will not be able to take it and will lash out at him and only drive him away." Elrond's voice softened as well as his hold on his friend's waist and he gently pulled Glorfindel back inside, closing the door to his study.
"He will need you later, and if you are hurt with each other, he will only suffer more."
"He thinks I did not protect them! He is right Elrond!"
"Glorfindel you could not have done differently, they were not in our group. Do you truly think he believes his words He is afraid." Elrond smiled sadly and held the blonde close, soothingly rubbing his back when the strong warrior buried his head in his shoulder and silently wept bitter tears.
"They were my friends, my family. I will miss them much!"
"So will I Glorfindel, so will I."
"Why did he get angry?" For the first time in his life Elrond heard his Seneschal's voice falter and he tightened their embrace.
"He is afraid. I am not sure of what my friend, I do not know his mind, but he might be afraid of never being able to see them again, hoping this is all a lie, he might be afraid to have done something wrong and not deserve any of what he has, he might be afraid to lose you as well, and tried to push you away before it could happen. But it was only a momentary reaction, he does not believe his words, he will not feel angry for long. Soon he will hurt again, and need you to sooth him."
Glorfindel broke the hug and smiled sadly at Elrond. "I need him, I need to know he is well…I need to go."
"Stay with me for a while, I will get you some clothes, and then you will go look for him. All right"
Glorfindel nodded reluctantly, feeling he had been away from Lindir time enough, but Elrond was right to assume Lindir would still be angry.
The dark haired Lord guided Glorfindel back to a chair and ordered a servant to bring them tea and clothes from his room. They agreed it was likely the young elf would be in his rooms with Glorfindel and having a servant disturb him to fetch clothes would not do well.
The tea arrived first, brought by another servant, and Elrond politely dismissed him, serving the tea himself. As he poured the steaming liquid into the fine cups, the soothing scent of mint flowed through the room, making Glorfindel sigh as his tears subsided.
Elrond sat on his usual chair by the other side of the desk and talked with his long time friend of the pain they both felt losing so many great warriors and friends and later of how it would be better to help Lindir face his loss. Although the conversation centered around the ill subject, their discussion was light and resigned, even though it was revolting that so many lights were dimmed by the hands of foul creatures, they could not change what had happened and took to discussing the qualities and bright moments they would miss the most with the elves close to them that had died.
Glorfindel listened Elrond speak of the High King with deep admiration and love. Gil-galad had been more then a King to him, but a friend and a brother, their souls were united by friendship and it had broken half-elf's heart to have another from his family torn away from him. When the conversation became too overwhelming for them, Glorfindel sighed and stood, reaching for the clothes that had been delivered earlier. He dressed, not having reasons to be ashamed of his friend, and stood there, uncertain if it was time to go look for his young one, or still too soon.
Lindir ran from the study as fast as he could, wishing he could vanish on thin air or go somewhere no one would look for him, but he blinded headed back to his own rooms. Slamming the door shut behind him, Lindir wailed, kneeling on the floor and wrapping his arms around his ways, folding his body over it until his brow touched the cold stone floor, his slight frame shaking with the pained sobs. Times passed and instead of calming down Lindir felt he would be sick. He ran to the bathing chamber and leaned over the washbasin, heaving, his eyes widened each times as he emptied his stomach gasping for breath. His blurred vision registered the dirty basin and he tumbled to the tub to wash his face. After the bad feeling went away the excruciating pain returned to his heart and it was hard to breath, he opened the window in almost desperation. He needed to get out of there, to breathe. Even in his emotional state, Lindir was able to toss some clothes inside a bag and order a servant to pack him provisions, refusing to give any explanations.
He could not be here, where people would not stop bothering him! Where his parents had made their history and now left it all behind! He could not stand it, it was too suffocating and he needed out.
Breathing in short shaky breaths he unsteadily made his way to the stables and demanded a horse readied for him. Although the stable boy was hesitant, he did not wish to defy Lord Glorfindel's lover especially in this distraught state. He helped Lindir mount as the elf had some difficulties and watched him ride away without giving a destination. The young elf had a bad feeling about this, but it was only hours later when he took the courage to report the event to his Lords, afraid he would be only disturbing them over an acknowledged fact.
Glorfindel was tying the last lace of his tunic when an urgent knock sounded on the door and he answered it, saving Elrond the trouble. He examined the disheveled looking elf in front of him, dirty blonde hair slightly dampened with sweat and beckoned him in. Elrond stood, his face bearing a similar expression to his Seneschal's.
"What happened"
"It is Lindir my lords. He has taken away a horse earlier today and has not returned yet, he seemed rather disturbed by something, I am afraid he might have hurt himself or ran away, although I do not know why."
The elder elves expressions were of pure shock, and the servant had to support himself on the wall not to fall down when Glorfindel pushed him aside and walked through the door, followed by Elrond.
"Glorfindel!"
"I am going after him Elrond and you know it! Someone has to and I will not allow it to be someone else. I cannot believe he did this!" The half –elf could sense the fear and anger inserted in his friends words and he too worried for Lindir, so Elrond was hasty in making arrangements for the elf to leave, having supplies packed and a horse prepared.
"Elrond he must be way ahead of me! I cannot believe he would do this! Where is he going�! He can hurt himself." The blonde's tone lowered as a pained whisper.
"I do not know Glorfindel, but I believe you will be able to find his tracks. Go and travel with speed. Let Valar be with you and watch you. Have a safe journey my friend, I wish you success." Elrond spoke seriously, his hand squeezing the strong shoulder of the warrior before him, before letting go and stepping back, to watch him fade in the dimming light of the day, praying both would return safely to the Last Homely House.
Lindir had not much practice as a rider, but he was a good one considering how few times he had done it, and he knew he was tiring his horse, but he could not stop it now. At first Lindir wandered aimlessly, but at some point his mind directed him to find his parents, their remains. He had to be reunited with them, but how would he reach the Dagorlad Battlefields by himself He had brought a map, for pure luck maybe, but Lindir knew it would improve little having never been out on the wild alone, or out of Imladris at all.
After days of exhausting riding with little rest, Lindir found himself at the most frightening place he had ever seen. All he could see around were rocks, sharp, gray and lifeless. Dismounting his horse, he walked some of the path, establishing a slower rhythm to allow the mare some rest. But when the stone on the ground became too much he mounted again.
"So these are the Emyn Muil…" He whispered to the horse looking around the deserted place he sighed. "I will reach my parents. I swear I will."
After inspecting the place Lindir was nervous to find out he would be unable to continue the journey riding. He would need to go on foot. Returning to the horses side he felt guilty for not having a better place to leave her. They were in the middle of nowhere, there was no food or water around, at least Lindir had not found any, how was he to let the animal perish But Lindir was obstinate, he needed to find his parents and nothing would keep him from it, and the elf did know he had a fair chance of not returning, so why worry
The white haired elf felt weaker with the passing of each day, he felt his life energy rearing, and although it was maddening, to go slowly, he wanted it more than anything. He could not live without his family, or having the chance of losing more people he loved. If he died, he would be in a place where his loved ones would only arrive, never leave, and he did not feel strong enough to go on. He missed Glorfindel and his brilliant energy the enveloped him.
Whispering some last few words to the horse, Lindir tossed aside all he could take out of the bag to make it lighter and then set off to his final destination.
After walking until his feet hurt due to the small rocks scattered on the ground, Lindir found himself facing a great stone wall, standing imposing in front of him, seeming impossible to cross.
Looking over his shoulder one more time, he held firmly on the edge of a rock and set his foot in a lower one, climbing his first step, Lindir sighed and stopped closing his eyes to suppress the tears provoked by his memories. They hurt so much! He took another step, and another, and as he went he trusted more on his instincts than anything else, his vision blurred by the tears, his body exhausted and weakened by his grief.
His hands was slippery and slid off a rock, taking him longer time to find balance again. His arms were sore and tired and he had not even reached a considerable height.
"I can do this. For once." He had to succeed and find his parents bodies, his heart told him they still lay there, in the filthy battlefield. Stretching his arm with a moan, Lindir squeezed his eyes shut, grasping the firm rock as firmly as his strength would allow. Setting his right foot on a rock, when he raised the left one, Lindir lost balance and his hand let go on the rock. In his shock, the elf did not even scream during the fall, it felt as if his breath and life had been stolen from him in the glimpse of an eye, and moments later a loud noise of a body hitting the ground echoed through the silent mountains. Lindir was completely oblivious to it, completely unconscious.
888
Glorfindel had been several hours behind Lindir when he finally reached the borders of Imladris, being careful to follow the trail of his lover. Each night he had to stop and camp to give Asfaloth proper rest, his heart was overtaken with worry and frustration. Lindir was intelligent, but to many things he was still innocent and inexperienced and being alone in the wild was one of them. He probably could not defend himself, but what worried him the most, was the possibility of the young elf fading. His nights were restless and his days even more in the untiring search for his love.
Finally at one point the Elda realized with growing horror where Lindir was headed to, and at least now he did not need to follow trails and could speed up more.
The Blarog Slayer finally reached the Emyn Muil at dawn. His heart worried that he had gone so far without finding Lindir. He was not sure the elf could have reached this far alone and the thought of having passed him was panicking. Just when he was ready to admit the place was deserted he heard the sound of hooves. Hurrying in the direction of the sound a relieved sigh escaped him when he saw Lindir's mare. But, did that mean a good thing Why had the young elf left his horse behind
Not much walking was needed for the blonde to see the horrid sight before him. Lindir laying sprawled on the ground, a blood trail leading to his head were he could see an open wound.
"No! Oh no, Lindir, what have you done�!" Glorfindel knelt by his lover's side taking a cold hand in his and rubbed it gently, trying to warm it. He stopped the bleeding and cleaned the wound as best as he could, but he did not have herbs, ointments or the knowledge to treat the white haired elf. He needed help.
"What am I going to do with you young one Where do I take you" He cradled the limp form against his chest, rocking gently, as if he thought it would help. "Lórien." His eyes opened wide and hopeful. It was the closest elven realm. He had to reach Lórien soon, he had to save Lindir.
While Glorfindel settled Lindir in the horse, the elf became half-awake of his surroundings, moaning in pain and shutting his eyes at the intensity of the light and soon after returning to unawareness.
"I will save you Lindir. I promised this to your parents and to myself and I will not fail."
Mounting his horse, and carefully wrapping his arms around the slight form before him, Glorfindel tried to set a quick but gentle pace, not wanting to aggravate his lovers condition, but the urgency won and he hastened his pace. It would do not good to be careful now and have a dying Lindir in his arms by the time he reached the Golden Wood.
Upon reaching Lórien's borders he was intercepted by many wardens that soon alerted healers and took Lindir to them. He was assured the elf would be taken care of and there was nothing he could do but trust their word.
Glorfindel waited impatiently to hear from Lindir, his long hair disheveled, his eyes large with worry and fear. He was currently in front of a large talan that served as a healing house to the Lórien elves and it took all his self control not to burst into the room to find out how his lover was. He had been allowed to stay in the talan, in a separate room, but it was too suffocating to know his young minstrel was right next and yet not know if he was severely injured, if he was in danger or not, so he had chosen to wait outside, among the knowing trees, refreshing breeze and the starlit sky, but they were doing little to help. The Elda's heart beat fast, his cheeks flushed from pacing so furiously, the fine brow furrowed in concern.
Suddenly the golden warrior saw a flash of light robes and turned around to identify the elf, frowning at his conclusion.
"Círdan"
The silver haired elf spun around smiling kindly and nodding. "But what a surprise Lord Glorfindel! It is most curious to see you here." Cirdan spoke lightly extending his hand to greet the other elf.
"I should say the same of you." Glorfindel replied taking the offered limb and making a curious examination of the one he had not seen in so long. He could still not get over the fact Cirdan had a beard, but even from afar it seemed made of silky hair instead of the rough straw-like hair that were the dwarven ones. Seeing the elf nod he released the hand.
"Yes it is true, I am here to speak to king Amroth, but I cannot reveal to you what it is about, he demands his privacy. And you Balrog Slayer, what brings you here You look worried."
"That is because I am. One I love much is injured and I wait for news of him."
"Ah, I am most sorry to hear that, my friend. I hope it is nothing serious. Would you mind telling me what happened"
Glorfindel hesitated for a moment, wondering if he wanted to open his heart to this elf, but he did feel suffocated, he needed to talk, to let someone know how much he loved Lindir, and how guilty he felt for not being there in time for his lover.
" My lover suffered an accident at the Emyn Muil, I was behind him for a couple of hours and when I finally caught up, it was to find him unconscious and with a head injury. Other than that he has only superficial bruises, but I am deeply worried. Lothlórien was the closest elven realm and I had to make sure he was all right before starting a journey back to Imladris." Glorfindel sighed glad he was able to expose his worry to someone and cocked an eyebrow finding an almost amused expression in the gray eyes, mixed with worry.
"I am definitely sorry to hear of such an accident, I hope he will recover well and soon, but I did not know you had a lover! This one must be precious to catch such a wild heart as yours."
The corner of the blonde's lips tugged up in a small smile. "Cirdan, people give me far more credit than I deserve, but yes, he is precious, he is my life…" He trailed off as an image of the white haired beauty invaded his mind.
Cirdan observed the Elda, still surprised he had found a great love in his second chance in life. The Shipwright was a great observer, a listener. He did not only take care of the ships that left Middle-Earth, but also the elves. He would receive distraught elves in his home, begging to be in the next ship that left for the Undying Lands; others would be unresponsive or distant, and he would talk to all of them, trying to ease or help them understand some of the pain they were going through. It had taught him so much about the elven nature that emotions had become his favorite subject of study. He wished to help those in such incredible pain, even if only to make the duration of the journey more bearable. In Valinor, although he did not know it, he was called Soul Healer, for all elves that had been in his presence arrived carrying a lighter burden, ready to start healing and twice he had been so throughout with his help that two elves had given up sailing and returned home to face their fears. Only twice, it is true, but it had given him so much pleasure to have helped them find new strength, and to later on find out they were indeed recovering. Their wounds, of the heart and the soul, had not been too serious and it was the wrong decision for them to give up.
Cirdan could see the love and worry in the Elda's face as clearly as he could see through the clear waters of the sea and it caused him sympathy for this elf, who had lived through so much, who had faced so many fears. Motioning for an earthy path he voiced his invitation.
"Would you like to walk with me From what I gather if you are standing out here, it means you are not allowed inside, and I would love to learn about the one who achieved such a deed. Come with me, my friend, it will take your mind out of your worries even if for a moment."
"Thank you, I will accept that offer." Clasping his hand behind his back and intently observing the vivid green grass on the sides of the path, Glorfindel remained silent for some time, and Cirdan respected that.
"How did you manage, to leave the Grey Havens and come here I thought you would have much work with the end of the war."
"Aye, it is true, but unfortunately, most elves that could have sailed either died of their wounds or want revenge and therefore will not sail. Even though it still is a busy time for us, but I left my son in command of everything, he is young, but responsible." Cirdan's voice was quiet, bringing up the subject of so much pain disturbed him.
"You have a son"
Cirdan looked up surprised, his eyes shinning with amusement. "You did not know"
"No, I did not. I have been an incredibly negligent and distant friend have I not I am ashamed."
"Distant friend Even strangers know I have a son, you have been no friend at all!" The silver haired elf teased good heartedly. "But worry not Glorfindel, we have now a chance to talk again, until of course, your lover wakes up. We were talking about him, were we not I would like to meet him…tell me about the two of you."
"Yes, I hope we will have the time to get reacquainted." The blonde warrior sighed thinking of a moment of his life with Lindir to share.
"His name is Lindir."
"That is a beautiful name."
"I know, but he is infinitely more beautiful than his name, you will have the chance to meet him, hopefully. We were going to be bound, we had it all planned when I had to leave for the war."
"Bind Glorfindel that is most unusual. I believe you know such a thing is not done unless to save the life of one who cannot support himself alone any longer, not merely to confirm the love between a couple!"
"Do not be so outraged Cirdan, I did know of all this, I do know that it demands great responsibility, you share yourself, all of yourself with someone else and whatever happens to one will happen to the other, I know there is no turning back and that it can be dangerous. But we both wanted it, we shared so much together, yet we needed more. I know he is my soul mate, I am as certain of that as that I died once and returned. I realize it is not usual, but we are not the first to do this simply out of love, nor will we be the last." Glorfindel spoke calmly, he believed in what he had said, and Lindir had wanted it too.
"Very well, I still think it is foolish to do this simply because you want more, what else could you want besides love! But I had never seen you so vehement about anything before Glorfindel."
"That is because I have known love before, and the depth of this one surpasses it all. I am not good with words, Lindir is, but I can assure you I have never loved this much, and will never again. But who knows, maybe I will have to bind to him out of necessity…I do not know how serious his injuries were and I grow worried with the passing of each minute." Feeling a hand rest on his arm, Glorfindel looked up and smiled in thanks to the reassuring smile the silver haired elf was giving him.
"My friend, do you mind if I ask you what your lover was doing at the Emyn Muil, now that the war is over"
"His parents died there." He said quietly. "His father was a warrior, a great one, and his mother an skilled healer. It is not usual to take females to battle unless they are trained warriors, but the need for an experienced healer was great, and she offered to help. Unfortunately, neither of them came back." Glorfindel's eyes swam with tears that he was not ashamed to shed, he had loved that family with all his heart, and still loved their son. "They were an incredibly close family, one I had the fortune of becoming a part of. Lindir's heart broke when hearing the news, I was, and still am, afraid he might even have the elven sickness. I had never seen him so desperate before, I was afraid he would do something foolish, but we had an argument, he told me to go away and in a moment of anger I did, instead of staying by his side. When I began to grow worried again I searched for him only to be told he had left Imladris, riding his horse as fast as anyone had ever seen before. I followed him, his tracks, but after a while I realized where he was headed to. I believe he decided to look for remains of his parents, or be in the place they were last alive for one more time. When I reached him, he was unconscious, his head was bleeding. Mounting my horse with him in my arms, riding hard was all I could do not to panic. And from there on, you know what happened."
"That is a sad tale indeed. I pray that your love is not fading my friend, I would not like to see you follow, for I am sure you would, merely hearing the way you speak of him, tells me enough."
"I would not mind dying if it meant being by his side. I know it sounds dramatic, but I would not, I have been there before, I would not be afraid to go there again." Glorfindel spoke seriously and turned on his heels, hesitantly watching the path back to the talan.
"We should go back if he is not ready to receive you, I will wait with you until he is. Lord Amroth does not wish to see me again until the morning." Cirdan started to head back the way they had come, walking slowly, waiting for the Balrog Slayer to catch up.
"Thank you. You are being of great assistance right now Cirdan, I know I would be fretting if I had no one to talk to."
"I know you would, loneliness is very oppressive."
Glorfindel eyed Cirdan for a long moment, as if trying to see what was inside the elf's mind. "You seem awfully wise about emotions."
"I am not wise on the matter, but you are right on thinking they fascinate me, and most of the times it proves to be very helpful to know how to react to a distraught elf when they have no one else to reassure them."
"I never took your work for granted, I remember how much we talked before I was ready to face my life again after being reborn. But I do believe you deserve greater credit than you receive, for yours deeds." Glorfindel knew how intelligent and wise Cirdan was, and how remarkably well he could deal with people, he seemed to know so much about inner self.
"Thank you for your words. Here we are, and look, it seems you are already allowed in, I believe that elf is looking for you. I think we arrived just in time." Smiling at Glorfindel he waited for the young elf to deliver his message and grinned at the anxiousness of his friend to be reunited with his lover. He was ready to excuse himself when the blonde stopped him.
"Come in with me Cirdan."
"No Glorfindel, maybe some other time, I am sure you will want to be alone with him."
"He is sleeping, the healer told me so. Come along, I would love for you to see him, and I would like to continue our conversation."
"Very well then. Let us go then."
Following Glorfindel closely behind, Cirdan climbed the wooden ladder up to the healing rooms. He could not stop being amazed at how large these talans were, even being built high up in the trees. They were simple, but well structured and with all a proper home would need. This particular talan had the refreshing smell of herbs flowing in the air, a calming silence indicated nothing was amiss with the current patients in the house, a few elves, that he assumed to be healers, crossed from one room to another, always smiling at each other and the new comers.
"Lord Glorfindel Come this way, Lindir is in a private room, gladly most of the injured elves, from the war, are on their way to recovery and most have gone home." The thin, dark haired lady that spoke to him now, had a trained soothing voice that dissolved the warrior's worries and he eagerly followed her to the small room, looking over his shoulder once to see if Cirdan was following.
Opening the door, the healer motioned for Glorfindel to step inside, indicating a peacefully sleeping figure in the bed.
"There he is. We have yet to find if the head injury had any grave consequences, but so far it seems not, the healing is progressing smoothly and his other injuries should be healed in a couple of days. Let him rest, if he needs water, there is a jar over that small table, and if you need anything else, there will always be someone outside in the main hall, feel free to call. Have a good night, my lords." Bowing her head, the elleth left the room.
The room was small but comfortable, resting against the center of the wall on the right from the entrance, was the single bed with it's precious charge, on the right there was a small table serving as a nightstand that had the water jar and a glass as the healer had said. By the foot on the bed, also on the right side there was a rocking chair with two, terracotta colored cushions. On the left side of the bed, there was another chair, this one simple, but comfortable, and a stool where Lindir's clothes rested, neatly folded.
Entering the room, the Elda went straight to his lover's side, silently sitting on the left side of the bed and cradling a warm hand in his.
"Come inside Cirdan."
Closing the door behind him, the elf approached the bed and smiled sweetly at the sleeping form.
"I can understand now why he would hold your heart. He is truly beautiful my friend, you did not lie when you said he was infinitely more beautiful than his name."
"No I did not, but I would not have fallen for his looks only. Once he wakes up, you will see everyday he will charm you more and more. He looks peaceful, I hope it really is how he feels. His hands are warm, look." Glorfindel gave Cirdan a look with so much emotion he could not deny, pulling closer the chair on the left of the bed, Cirdan sat down and took the long hand in his, the soft skin remembering him that of an infant's.
"He looks young. I really wish him a fast recovery, you two look made for each other."
Glorfindel nodded smiling weakly and pressed Lindir's hand a against his cheek, looking over the sleeping elf, he made sure his lover was properly tucked in the bed, his light hair was neatly combed and pulled to one side, resting against his shoulder, almost undetectable, merging in with the white sleeping robes.
"I am afraid. I do not know how he will react to me when he wakes up. I am afraid he will not want to see me and that the his suffering for his loss will be overwhelming."
"Do not worry before time Glorfindel. You will know what to do when he wakes up."
"I am very glad to have you here. And I am sure Lindir will like you too. You are a valuable friend Cirdan. I again thank you for all."
Cirdan was about to reply when a small yawn came from the elf resting on the bed and he shifted.
"I believe he will wake up any time soon, so I will be leaving. No, do not object," he said seeing the blond open his mouth to protest. "I will have another chance to meet him, but it should be just the two of you when he first awakes. Do not worry, I would not miss the chance to meet someone who has as many qualities as you claim him to have." Smiling and nodding his head, Cirdan stood up and left the room bidding his friend a good night, pleased with the developments of the night, but wishing the reencounter with his friend had not been caused by the accident of another.
Glorfindel saw the first signs of awareness return to the bright green eyes and smiled lovingly.
"Hello there." He spoke little, assuming Lindir would awake confused and need time to take in the changes on their setting. And the questioning expression that surfaced on the white haired elf did not fail the blond's prediction.
Supporting his weight on his elbows, Lindir looked around in a daze. "Where…" He looked at the beautiful elf sitting in front of him, not able to finish the question; he had so many things he wanted to ask.
"We are in Lothlórien. I brought you here after…you suffered an accident trying to cross the Emyn Muil." Glorfindel said calmly, his hand soothingly stroking the silky hair.
"Lothlórien"
"Yes, you know it is not very far from where you were Lin. But forget about that. How are you feeling"
"I…I..think I have a headache." Lindir's eyes moved nonstop over Glorfindel's form, frowning slightly.
"That is to be expected, my love, you had a head injury." The Elda looked worriedly as Lindir's confusion did not clear.
"Did I Oh wait, what, why did you call me that"
It was Glorfindel's turn to be utterly confused and he took his lover's hand in his. "Lindir, I will call the healer."
"Lindir"
"I am worried about you, what has you so confused" Glorfindel caressed the back of the elf's hand with his thumb and his cheek with his other hand, frowning further instead of smiling when Lindir hesitantly reaching up and covered it with his own hand, the one caressing his face.
"Who are you"
"What What do you mean Lindir" Glorfindel's expression was bewildered in confusion.
"I..I do not know you…but you seem to know me. I do not understand. Where is this place, I have never heard of it before and, who is Lindir, is that how you call me"
From deadpanned, Glorfindel's expression became one of pure horror and shock. "Are you teasing me Do you really not remember I..." He trailed off unable to cooperate with what was happening.
"Yes, Lindir is your name, and Lothlórien is a realm of Elves and I am Glorfindel your…friend." He said seriously, hoping to end any jokes the other might be playing on him, but it seemed not to be the case.
"My friend" Silence reigned in the room for several minutes, each analyzing the other's features until Lindir spoke again.
"Why do I not remember anything It feels so..confusing and..empty..I do not know who I am! It is frightening. Why do I not know�!"
Glorfindel felt a crushing weight against his chest. What was happening This could not be really happening to him!
"Oh Lindir…do you really not remember" He asked with a pained look, brushing away a tear that refused to stay back. He had barely finished his question when the same healer that had brought him to this room entered.
Sighing, although he himself could not tell if it was of relief or distress, Glorfindel pulled the elleth aside and told her of Lindir's loss of memory, watching with growing worry the frown that formed in her brow.
"It could have been expected from such an accident yes, but let us not rush into things, this loss might only be temporary. I promise to consult one of the elder healers on the matter, this occurrence is not very usual here. I am sorry. I will examine him now and will give him a herbal tea, for he still needs the healing sleep. I will keep in touch with you every hour."
After treating to the confused elf, the healer left the room and Glorfindel felt relieved he did not have to face Lindir right now. He could barely take in what having his love not remember him really meant. It meant they had lost everything they had built together, their whole relationship…their memories, maybe even their love! What if Lindir did not want him anymore, now he did not remember they were a couple
Sinking in the rocking chair, Glorfindel thought of going outside again and taking a stroll over the gardens, to clear his mind, but he did not want that. He wanted to stay close to Lindir in case anything changed, he wanted to look at his love as much as he could before he was denied the one he loved the most.
When the sun rose the next day, Glorfindel woke up to find the snow-white haired elf still comfortably sleeping on the bed, on his usual position, on his side, curling up, hugging a pillow, when that was not the Elda himself. Rubbing the sleep off his eyes, the blonde stood from the rocking chair and stretched, hesitant to leave. The healer had indeed come back once every hour that night, but finding both elves asleep she did not wake either and so he thought it was wise to look for her, ask why she had not come and if there were any news. Approaching the bed and bestowing a loving kiss to his lover's brow, Glorfindel silently left the room.
Being told that the healer he was looking for usually stayed there at night, he decided to eat something. His stomach growled furiously at him and it would not do him any good to be like this. He needed to be strong for Lindir. Unaware of it, a weight was lifted for Glorfindel's chest finding Cirdan speaking to an unknown elf.
He silently approached the elf, waiting for the conversation to be over.
"Cirdan I would like to talk to you, do you have a moment"
Cirdan parted from the other elf and turned to Glorfindel, his eyes immediately telling him something was amiss.
"Of course I do my friend. I am sorry to mention, but you seem burdened. Is it something with the young one"
"Aye." Glorfindel nodded, momentarily unable to speak as the emotional overload of the past days events threatened to break him to tears.
"Yesterday, when he woke up, he could not remember anything. Nothing of the past events, the people, me, not even the name of this place did he recognize!"
Cirdan sighed heavily. It always saddened him to think people had to go through such tests of will and strength to reach happiness, but he had spoken to many who had lost their memories before, and he could not help being interested in this case.
"My friend, I do not know if there is much I can do for you and your young lover, but I would like to try. I have dealt with memory loss cases before, and even if I am by no means an expert, I assume you would appreciate any kind of help."
"Yes! I sought you for advice, but if you take interest in helping Lindir I am truly relieved and thankful. I cannot bear to see those eyes of his full of uncertainty and confusion. I cannot bear to have them not recognize me.." The blonde hung his head and sighed deeply, wishing this was only a passing test that he would overcome, that Lindir would overcome.
"I would like to talk to him then, whenever the time is appropriated."
"Now then. I believe he must have woken up by now. Please follow me, I am too anxious to wait any longer."
"Very well."
Cirdan respected Glorfindel's constant need for conversation to keep his mind from drifting to pessimistic thoughts, and humored the Elda sharing some of his routine at the Gray Havens. Upon reaching Lindir's room, Glorfindel knocked gently so he would not awake the elf if he was sleeping, but would be heard in the contrary.
"Enter." Come the small, confused voice that made Glorfindel's heart clench with sorrow and some anger. Why had Lindir been so hasty? Why had he come alone in this journey and rejected the comfort his friends wanted to offer? If he had asked, Glorfindel himself would have accompanied Lindir in the journey to his parent's final destination. He would not want to, the danger still existed, but he would have. He sighed, extracting the thoughts from his mind. He did not need Lindir to have a bad impression of him, now that it would be a first impression, once more.
"Hello Lindir." Glorfindel smiled gently and moved closer to the bed. "How are you this morn"
"I am fine, thank you." The white haired elf stared down at his hands.
"Good. Have you had anything to eat" Lindir shook his head and looked questioningly at Cirdan.
"Do I know you as well" He asked warily.
"No, I am a new friend, but an old friend of Glorfindel's. I am Cirdan." The elder elf stretched his hand, which was shyly taken by Lindir.
"Cirdan is here to talk to you, he wants to help you, with your memory."
Lindir analyzed with growing curiosity the bearded elf. Although he did not remember, all the elves he had seen since waking up had hairless faces and something naturally told him that was the common way. He liked the way the silver haired elf looked, he seemed older than the blonde haired one, seemed wise and kind.
"Can you make me remember"
Cirdan smiled sadly at the hopeful question. "I can try." Receiving a nod, he sat down on the chair next to the bed and nodded for Glorfindel who hesitantly stood to leave the room.
"Wait.." Lindir called in a fearful tone. "Where are you going"
Realizing Lindir must have been frightened to see the only person he 'knew' go away, Cirdan motioned for the Elda to sit at the chair resting at the far end of the room and watch. The young elf seemed to relax visibly.
"Lindir, I have been told you cannot remember anything that happened before yesterday. Not your name, your past, not even the name of this place and your home. Am I right"
"Yes." He nodded shyly, uncomfortable with the situation.
"Very well. Do you know where you are"
"Lothlórien." Lindir answered automatically.
"How do you know that"
"He..told me." Lindir pointed at Glorfindel.
"I see. Do you know who he is" Cirdan asked.
"Glorfindel." Glorfindel listened intently to their conversation, not knowing what to make of the questions the silver haired elf asked.
"Did he tell you that as well"
"Yes."
"So if it had not been for him telling you these things, you would not know them, would you"
"No." Lindir kept looking down at his hands, seemingly uncomfortable, every now and then casting a glance in Glorfindel's direction trying to read his expression.
"What do you think of Glorfindel"
"I, I do not know. He says we were friends, I cannot remember it."
"It is all right Lindir, no answer you give will be wrong, fear not." Cirdan spoke softly, gently holding the other elf's hand in his and earning a small smile from him.
"Do you know what this is" Cirdan ask pointing at the bed and earning a cocked eyebrow from both the other elves in the room.
"It is a bed.."
"Indeed. What color is your hair" Lindir looked down at the light strands of hair and answered with a quizzical tone . "White."
"And your eyes" Cirdan asked, but smiled already having most of the answers he needed.
"I..I do not know.." Cirdan nodded and stood up. "Well, we are done for now. I will return again, and I advise you eat something if you have not yet, I will call a servant on my way out. Oh Glorfindel you might want to take him for a stroll in the gardens, I am sure you would love that." Cirdan said smiling to Lindir, who stared back at him with a bemused expression on his face. Moving to the door he made a small motion for Glorfindel to follow, and left.
"I...I will be right back Lindir. Do not be too scared, Cirdan is like that.." He said shrugging his shoulders and grinning at the young elf's smile.
Closing the door after him, Glorfindel stared at Cirdan. "What was that"
"I had to get some basic answers from him, to narrow the possible causes of his memory loss."
"But I told you he had an accident! And I do not understand how he can know what things are, but not remember other things!"
Cirdan sighed and walked further away from the door ,waiting for Glorfindel to follow.
"Let us go to the kitchens get him something to eat. We will talk on our way."
The Elda nodded and fell into step beside the Shipwright, waiting for his friend to explain how any of his questions made sense.
"Glorfindel, my conclusions were that, his ability to speak, form coherent thoughts and express himself have not been damaged, therefore the only thing really affected must have been his memory. He could distinguish colors and objects and had no difficulties in doing so, but when it comes to remembering his own life, it is a whole different matter."
Cirdan smiled at his friend's concentrated look, trying to make sense of what he was saying.
"That fact brought to my attention something you mentioned the night you arrived. You said he learnt of the death of his parents and was desperate, fleeing to find any remains of them in the battlefields, and that he suffered an accident at the Emyn Muil, before he reached Dagorlad."
Glorfindel nodded. "I am not sure where you want to go with this."
"The causes for memory loss are not only one, it could be caused by a severe accident, by some diseases I have been told that they plague Mortals, but I am very acquainted with a certain form of it that is seen in some of the elves that sail to the Undying Lands, although most of them did not fully lose their memories. This occurrence can be caused by traumas, emotional traumas. Lindir learnt of his parents death, practically his entire family from one he loved and depended on it a great deal, from the little you have told me. That must have caused a great shock. The accident was but the trigger, the perfect escape from the pain. He blocked all the painful memories away."
Glorfindel looked in wonder at Cirdan, it all made sense now and it amazed him the elf would know so much, but there were things that still did not fit.
"But Cirdan, he forgot everything! Not just the painful side."
"I am not an expert on the matter Glorfindel, I cannot assure why this happened, but his whole life revolved around his family and maybe to his young spirit, at that moment everything seemed too much to remember."
They had reached the kitchens and Cirdan was asking the cook to prepare something for Lindir, as the Balrog Slayer seemed too absorbed by his thoughts.
"Does that mean he will never remember" His voice was full of emotion and fear.
"I do not know Glorfindel, but you have to see that, because he does not remember what he used to do, it does not mean he is a different person."
"But..our love Cirdan! H-he will no longer love me, he cannot remember me!" Glorfindel represented a torn image of outraged anger at how unfair this situation was, and pain, as he ran his hands over his face, unable to take any more of this.
Casting an apologetic look to the servants who stopped to see who was speaking so loud, Cirdan guided his friend to a more secluded place as they awaited for the food.
"My friend, memories are a great deal of our life, we only learn with experience because we are able to store them and their results within our minds, but love, love is not a memory! Love is a feeling, an emotion. Lindir did not love you because he could remember the kiss you gave him the day before, or the words you said to him. Of course that helps, it builds a history of life, a relationship, but love is not based on memories, it is about how…your souls drawing each other. Your light, your soul, your heart and personality drew him to you, drew his love to you, and not his memories. He loved you before he knew who you were, you have told me so, and if this feelings were based on remembering things, he would not have done so." Cirdan spoke calmly, to make his distressed friend comprehend his words, but he was passionate about the matter, about his convictions.
"Do you really believe what you are saying"
"Yes! Most things can be explained, but for most we have not found an explanation yet. I will tell you this though, love is not something you can explain, you can only feel, give and receive. You do not remember it, maybe your heart does, but not your mind, and Lindir's heart has not forgotten your love, you can be assured of that. He just needs to get to know you again, and his heart will remember, even if his memory does not return."
Cirdan smiled awkwardly at his friend and hugged him. "I know it will be hard, but you will not be alone. For now you have me here, and in Imladris there will be Elrond and your other friends, and most of all, you have Lindir, and he needs you now."
"Thank you. I really needed to hear that. I…want to believe your words, I truly hope you are right."
"I am. Now let us go back with the young one's food, he must be starving!" Cirdan patted Glorfindel's shoulder, both elves sighing quietly.
Returning to the kitchens, Cirdan accepted the small basket the cook had given him as well as a tray to set things when they reached the room.
"Oh, can you add some lembas bread in that pack" Glorfindel smiled at the questioning look he got from Cirdan and the knowing one from the cook. "It used to be one of Lindir's favorite foods."
"But lembas bread"
"Yes. He used to mercilessly beg me to bring him some every time I had to visit the Golden Wood and even made the Imladris' cooks learn how to do it, although he said it did not taste the same, it seemed to be enough. I remember one time when I brought him as many packs as my horse could carry, do you remember that, Silros"
The cook chuckled and nodded. "Oh yes! We almost ran out of supplies, luckily it was a time not many were leaving the woods, so we did not need it as much." Leaving the kitchens they swiftly made their way back, but upon reaching the path that led, on the right to the Healing Talans and on the left to King Amroth's high Talan, Cirdan stopped and handed the basket to the blonde elf.
"Glorfindel I must part from you now, I have important matters to attend to, but feel free to call me at any other time. I would like to see Lindir again. I also advise you share tales of his life with him, and sometimes do things that had marked his memory before, without him knowing, such as taking him the Lembas bread, it might prove to be helpful."
"I will keep that advice in mind. Thank you again my friend, you have been most helpful and I know I would be lost without guidance in this matter."
"Worry not. Now return to your young lover." Cirdan ushered him with a light teasing. His friend deserved more than this. Glorfindel was strong, but no one is unbreakable and Lindir seemed to be his strength in these days and a source strength, is always a source of weakness, when taken away from us. He hoped all would go well.
Bidding farewell , the elves parted and Glorfindel was finally able to return to Lindir. Upon entering the healing talans he was approached by an elf that said he had checked on Lindir and everything was fine, although he seemed slightly confused and frightened.
The Elda quickly made his way to the room and his heart almost skipped a beat seeing the relief in his lover's beautiful features when seeing him.
"I thought you had left me." Lindir said blushing, not knowing if he had the right to say such things.
"Never! I would never leave you my… dear friend. I have brought you some food." He said smiling at the pleased look in the younger elf's eyes and chuckling at the angry growl his stomach gave as an answer. "I believe I took too long." He smiled and sat the tray on the bed, opening the basket and careful arranging everything in a plate.
"What is that smell It smells so good."
Glorfindel looked up a little amused and uncovered the bread. "It is lembas bread. Usually eaten in long journeys, it helps keeping your strength."
Lindir nodded and eagerly tasted the bread, closing his eyes in delight. "It is the best thing I have ever eaten."
"How can you know that It is the first thing you have ever eaten..." After the loss of memory, it was implied.
Lindir opened his green eyes and stared into blue ones for a long time, both wondering the answer. "It just..it tastes so incredibly good and familiar."
"Can you remember the taste of things I mean you remember colors and objects, maybe.."
"I think I can." Lindir pondered. If he could so surely state it was the best food he had ever eaten, surely he must.
"Oh, that is good. You..." Glorfindel trailed off.
"I what" His emerald eyes snapped up from the bread to Glorfindel's features, full of curiosity.
"Well, I did not want to influence you, but as you have claimed yourself this is the best thing you have ever eaten, lembas used to be your favorite food."
"It did�!" Lindir's eyes lightened with curiosity and excitement. "And I knew it! I ..I liked it too, even without knowing.." The Elda had to control himself not to cradle Lindir against his chest and hold him tight. The white haired elf seemed so proud of himself, and complete, even if only for a brief moment.
"I..I feel lost not knowing. How I was, or acted, what I liked and not, it feels empty and I cannot explain the feeling, but it is horrible, because I know people know me, you did! I know for sure I had a life, friends and who knows what else and it is so irritating and frustrating not to remember! I feel like I am letting everyone down, including myself. I had a life built and I lost it, just like that. I am afraid because I do not have anything mine, or that I am sure of to hold on to." Lindir's voice quavered and Glorfindel did not resist, reaching out for the slender hands and holding them in his own.
"I will tell you something you can be sure of - my friendship. You are my dearest friend, my family, and I will always be by your side to guide you and keep you from harm for as long as I can." Glorfindel searched within the green orbs, trying to find his lost lover. "You can be sure that I would give my life for you and that I will always be here for you when you have sad moments to share, when you need a friend or advice, but I would be honored if you shared your happy moments with me as well and allowed me to become your friend again. You can be sure of me, you can hold on to that knowledge."
Lindir seemed a little breathless at those words. They rang so intensely in his mind, in his heart, even though it could be just friendly offer…he could tell of the depth of the elf's words, and it made him feel there was more to this than he could see, or remember.
"Thank you. Thank you so much…We must have been great friends for you to care so deeply for me. I am sorry that I do not remember it, but I see you as a friend already and I know it is only a matter of time before I…care for you just as I did before." Lindir frowned at the single tear that ran down the Elda's cheek and hesitantly wiped it away. After some moments his attention returned to the food basket and he wondered if it was the moment to return to eating, but his stomach demanded he did so.
He silently ate the rest of his meal, nodding for Glorfindel to join in. The blonde had had a mind to refuse, but his stomach too growled furiously and he could not resist the laughter that left his love's lips.
"Lindir, I am not sure how to help you remember, I am not sure you want to remember, but..."
"Would you tell me How I was and what I did and about my life Please"
Glorfindel nodded. "Do you want more" He indicated the food.
"No, I am full." The young elf said massaging his stomach and the Elda laughed, having to wait a few moments before he could explain.
"You always did that! I used to think it very adorable." He said inadvertently grinning at the soft hue of pink that stained the lovely pale cheeks.
"Well, maybe you can tell me more of myself now." Lindir asked with genuine interest, with thirst of knowledge. He did not want to live in a dark void and he was relieved to see Glorfindel smile and nod.
"I will. What do you want to know"
"What did I do there Do I have a passion"
"Well, you work as Erestor's assistant. Let me explain from the beginning. Elrond is the Lord of Imladris, I am his Seneschal and Erestor is his Chief Advisor, and you work as Erestor's assistant. You are still quite young and I believe you have not yet found your true gift, although I believe it has something to do with the arts, you are incredibly creative and sensitive." Glorfindel paused and smiled at the entranced expression Lindir bore.
"You father is..was..a warrior, and although you tried to follow his steps, soon enough it became clear you had not been born for such art and accepted it well. Your mother was a skilled healer and in some ways you can say you were too. I remember when you were a child and you used to secretly sneak into the patients rooms and talk to them, when you left they were always smiling, laughing or comforted. But she also had a gift with the arts, she painted extremely well, and that you have inherited from her, you draw very well, but it does not seem to be your passion, not yet at least. You are very passionate about music, since you were an infant it was the only thing that would sooth you, but you have always refused your parents encouragements to learn to play an instrument, although I do not know why. You have a beautiful voice as well, but you do not like to show it to many, you usually hum or whisper your songs, as if not to disturb anyone."
Lindir was curious about himself. As to why he would refuse his gifts if it was true he had a talent for it. "Oh, but you think I would have a future doing that"
"Yes, I do think you have a future doing that."
"Why, why did you refer to my parents as if they were...Are they dead"
Glorfindel hung his head. He knew he would not be able to hide it for too long, but he did not expect to have to explain this so soon.
"Yes. I am sorry Lindir. But they died fighting bravely"
Lindir nodded and strangely enough he felt as if a hand was clenching around his heart, but he did not know these people, his parents, yet it felt like another void had been created inside of him. He did not have parents anymore, the people who had given birth to him and would certainly guide him through a moment like this.
After long moments of an awkward silence, Glorfindel saw crystalline tears running down Lindir's cheeks, although he remained silent and reserved.
"Oh Lindir, I am so sorry, please forgive me for telling you this." Glorfindel moved closer and opened his arms invitingly, saddened by the momentary hesitation but pleased when the younger elf moved into the embrace, giving him a chance to hold his love again.
"I would have to know eventually. I do not know why it hurts, I do not even know who they were."
The Elda held the white haired elf closer, soothingly rubbing his back. "But your heart does. A friend once taught me love is not a memory, and your heart recognizes the love for your parents, even if you have no memories of them."
"That is strange. Hard to believe." The white haired elf whispered softly against the fabric that covered Glorfindel's shoulder, where he had buried his face.
"I know." Glorfindel nodded. "but it is another thing to hold on to." Hearing the soft rasping of hair against clothes as Lindir nodded against his chest, the blonde moved his hands to the silky hair, running his hands through it.
"This, it is strange as well." Lindir spoke softly.
"What is"
"I feel comfortable around you, and I trust you…even though I do not even know you."
Glorfindel smiled and sighed. "Like I said, love is not a memory, and friendship is a kind of love."
Lindir reluctantly moved away from the secure embrace and looked into the other's deep blue eyes.
"Thank you again. I know it has been but a day since I woke up not remembering things, but it felt horrible, it would have even if it was for a mere moment. Not knowing if it will end or not is even worse and I really needed someone to trust. Thank you." He repeated, blushing softly and looking away.
"It is all right. I would never leave a friend when he needs me."
"Are we going away after I heal of the other injures?"
"Yes, we are going back to Imladris, our home. There you will find a great family ready to welcome you. They must all be worried." Glorfindel spoke absentmindedly.
"Worried Do they know I had an accident How How did I suffer this accident"
"Lindir I am not sure it is time for you to learn this, it is too soon." Glorfindel kept Lindir's hand in his, even though he did not insist for the elf to return to the embrace, it had to come from him. But how the Elda longed Lindir would lean in again, and they could share a comfortable silence, and he would pretended all was as before this ordeal.
"Then it must be bad."
"Not that much, but you have had to deal with a lot for one day and you have dealt with everything so incredibly well. How about we take that stroll in the gardens, to explore them Are you fit to walk?"
"Yes, I am. I would like to get out of this room." Lindir nodded eagerly, but ever in the gentle elegance of his movements. He had much of the spontaneous behavior of children in him, hopefully he would never lose it, but Glorfindel could tell that as age came, Lindir would be a forever elegant and enchanting elf, in his gentle manners towards others.
As the days passed, Lindir's physical injures healed with speed and his body was again sound. Although Glorfindel had shared with the young elf a great amount of his childhood tales, their moments together and all he knew of the elf, as well as trying to bring out his personality and help Lindir discover himself, the blond had always kept hidden the fact they had been lovers, not wanting to pressure the elf to make a decision. His body and heart ached for the snow-white haired beauty, but his soul was patient and all his needs could be overruled by helping his love.
With each passing day Lindir found easier to trust the idealistic warrior, mesmerized with the long passionate speeches he could give about the most simple subjects, even though Glorfindel usually claimed to be quiet and inarticulate. He now freely considered the Elda a friend and was thankful to have someone to guide him in this apparent darkness. Most of all, what Lindir loved was to hear Glorfindel's tales, especially the one of the Slaying of the Balrog. He had been utterly shocked to learn the elf had died and been reborn, and it gave him more confidence and will to rebuild his life with or without memories, he had not been through half of what his friend had, and he wanted to be strong enough to win and make Glorfindel proud. Although he realized he was quite dependant on the elder elf and hesitant to talk to others, Lindir's personality did not fail to blossom into the caring, curious and lively person he was.
Cirdan had visited Lindir every day since their first meeting and was frustrated to see no progress in retrieving the young one's memory, but with that aside, his heart rejoiced to see Glorfindel again sure of his actions and the white haired elf's growing admiration for his protector. It was friendship, now, but the Shipwright was sure love would return to them and unite their hearts again.
The day came for them to depart from Lothlórien and head back to Imladris. Message had reached Elrond announcing their arrival at the Golden Wood, bringing relief to his worries, and now the elves of the Valley, in special their lord and Erestor eagerly awaited for the return of the two fair elves, who secretly captivated admiration in the hearts of Imladris' inhabitants, for their love and respect for each other. Many prayed for the Valar young Lindir would be safe and resigned to his parents death, wishing no pain upon the couple.
Before they started journey, Cirdan came to say goodbye, speaking merrily with Lindir, telling him how glad he was for his fast recovery and wishing him luck in his home. Asking for a private moment with Glorfindel he tried to give the last advice he could before the Elda was on his own helping his lover, at least until Elrond could help, but deep inside, only Lindir could help himself, and only the Balrog Slayer could guide him.
"Glorfindel remember this accident was a trigger to his memory loss, there will be others to bring him back. But do not desperately search for one, simply try to not show him how your life was, but live your life the way it was, adapting to his new condition. Being in touch with his past routine might be of great help, but not only that, keep showing him the things that brought you together, make him grow, because he is not a new person and because he forgot it does not mean he should stop in time and make his life only out of trying to remember. Encourage him, you told me he still needs to find his passion in life. Encourage him." After hugging his friend, Cirdan watched them depart waving to their fading forms. He was truly interested in the outcome of this.
Lindir was nervous about returning home. He already knew a lot about it, having been told by Glorfindel, but it was only his imagination, he did not know for sure if what he thought was the right image of Imladris and it's people was what they really were. He was excited at the same time, but extremely worried, knowing a lot would be expected from him, including his memory.
Glorfindel noticed this nervousness, but did not let it disturb his young love. Constantly reassuring him, the Elda was proud of Lindir, seeing how much he had grown and matured even without any knowledge of who he was or had been. This was Lindir now. The same person, but with a fresh start, and it was his chance not to lose his love, but to woo him again, to rebuild everything from zero.
Although Glorfindel had taken a lot of care in making sure they were out of danger, the journey was safe and calm, undisturbed, as of now all elves were concentrated in helping their own family and realms.
They rode together on Asfaloth. Glorfindel feared for the white haired elf, not knowing if he could still ride and that allied with his insatiable need of closeness to the elf. Lindir did not seem to mind, enjoying the time to talk of the most varied subjects, always inserting a question about his life in it, but most about his friend's life. It warmed the Balrog Slayer's heart that Lindir took interest in learning about him and gave him hope.
After two weeks, in which their friendship had only grown, although Lindir showed some signs of frustration and sadness over not remembering his life, they reached Imladris. They rode slowly so Lindir had time to marvel at the beauty of the setting. Reaching the courtyard, the blond Elda heard a commotion of elves warning of their arrival and not much after they dismounted an elf was already leading his horse to a stable and no later than that, Glorfindel could see two dark haired forms rushing down the stairs.
Erestor panted softly and stopped in front of Lindir, burying the surprised elf in a tight hug while Elrond welcome his Seneschal.
"Glorfindel we were so worried! Ah but you are both fine, I am so glad!"
Lindir gave him a frightened look and Glorfindel went to the rescue, breaking the hug Erestor was giving him and greeting his friend.
"Erestor, do not suffocate Lindir!" He said smiling sadly and hugging his friend.
"I am sorry, but I was most worried for you Lindir, " He said looking at the younger elf. "And you too, Glorfindel."
"We appreciate your worry, but we are safe. There is something I need to talk to you about though," he said casting a glance at Lindir.
"Oh of course, why do you not go take a rest in your rooms Lindir" Elrond offered smiling broadly at the elf, perfectly hiding his worry, remembering the state he was in the last time they saw each other.
"I.."
"Of course! I will go with him and will be in your study in a moment."
"It is never just a moment with the two of you." Erestor said rolling his eyes and cocking an eyebrow at the warning look the Elda gave him.
Taking Lindir by the hand he led the elf to their rooms, uncertain whether to say this were his rooms, or Lindir's or if they shared it. Nonetheless he was pleased to see Lindir's eager and joyful expression upon entering the room. He seemed marveled at the decoration he did not know to be his own creation. Without giving him time for further inquiry before he had spoken to Elrond, Glorfindel briefly showed the room and headed to the door.
"I will return soon, if you need anything, there is almost always a servant passing by in the hallways. Try to stay in here, I do not want you to get lost."
Nodding, Lindir sat down in the large bed and watched the blond go.
He felt extremely lost. At times he wanted to despair and throw it all away, he was no one anyway. But then he remembered the things Glorfindel had told him, of their friendship and how he would always be there and even give his life if needed. It made him feel guilty for not remembering, for wanting to give up. Sometimes, like now, he just wanted to scream. He had been thrown into a world already grown up, with a past that was not his own and a mind clear of any memories and it infuriated him. But Lindir never screamed, he cried. During their journey, after he was sure Glorfindel was asleep, or if he had gone hunting he would sit down, hug his knees and rest his brow against them, letting the soft sobs rock his body.
It was overwhelming, to have so much to learn about himself and yet at times, there were things he seemed to already know, there were things Glorfindel told him, that although he did not remember, they were familiar, like a tale he had heard once centuries ago and was now mentioned again, he would not be able to tell it if asked to, but when hearing it, even though he did not remember all, the sequence of the events had a strange familiarity to it.
There was also something else, something new and yet again, not strange to him. Whenever he had a chance to look at Glorfindel for a longer while, to analyze him, his mind would drift away taking in the even smallest features. His heart warmed up at every chance of spending time with his friend, of hearing a new tale. Everything about the blond excited him, and it felt odd. He wondered if it was his loneliness, because even inside himself it was cold and empty, and maybe that could have led things, because it seemed so soon to like someone the way he thought he was starting to. Yet, it felt as if things were exactly where they belonged, as if he had known the Elda for such a long time…
Lindir sighed and lay down on the bed, his snow white hair forming a halo around his head. Covering his face with his hands he debated whether he wanted or not to have his memory back. From what Glorfindel told him, he seemed to be happy, but he was afraid of what he would find.
Glorfindel reached Elrond's study and ignored his friends surprised looks at how quickly he had indeed come.
Elrond motioned for him to sit in the same chair he had a month ago, and he did, Erestor right beside him.
"What is it you needed to tell us Is everything all right with him Erestor and I have been talking and we even feared he was fading,"
"He is not fading, not right now, I believe, but…Before I reached him, he suffered an accident when crossing the Emyn Muil. He has...lost his memory." Glorfindel kept looking at his hands, even after hearing the elves' shocked gasps.
"I took him to Lothlórien and there I met Cirdan of all people. He was a great help."
"Cirdan" Erestor asked.
"Yes. It seems he takes great joy in studying emotions and what they lead us to do, he helps the elves who sail. He has seen some cases of memory loss before, he gave me some advice to try to bring Lindir back. He says that it could have been caused by the accident, but he also knows of cases caused by great traumas, like the one Lindir was going through and the accident would only have been an escape for him to block the unwanted memories."
Glorfindel further explained the situation and Erestor and Elrond were terribly sad and revolted something like this would have happened.
"So what should we do now Should we treat him as if we do not know he has lost his memory or.." Erestor trailed off.
"Of course not, we will try to help him remember. It seems that he is very comfortable around you, Glorfindel." Elrond still had a hard time believing so much tragedy could have befallen the life of this young elf, all at once. "Have you told him that you are lovers"
"No. I did not want him to be in a strange situation and I did not wish to pressure him. I told him we were great friends…I was so afraid to lose him, I still am, but Cirdan told me love is not a memory but a feeling, and that our souls will be drawn to one another again and Lindir will remember our love."
"Cirdan is a wise elf Glorfindel, pay heed to his words, they should give you strength when all seems hopeless. It will be a difficult road, but we will be here to help you, and Lindir."
Glorfindel nodded and stood. "I want to get back to him, he does not like to be alone, but there is a slight problem. What about the room arrangements Should I move to another room and tell him our room is his But then again, all of my things are there. Should I assign him to another room But that will not help him remember things, he needs to be in touch with what he used to do."
"Tell him you share the room." Erestor offered.
"Share"
"Yes, tell him you are his...roommate."
"But, why would I have a roommate And even if, why would we share a couple bed"
"Oh.." Erestor frowned in though.
"He does not remember things, he does not know which way is the right one, he will not question. Tell him he worked as your assistant for some time and here when assistants are greatly needed they share their rooms with their employers and the bed...tell him his bed broke."
"Erestor that is a horrible excuse." Elrond said, shaking his head. Erestor was a wise and focused elf, always analyzing things from the outside before taking part in a situation, but there was light humor to him as well. He had no fear of showing affection to his friends, nor did he fear saying things such as now, in dark moments, he had his own ways of soothing people. He was an advisor, the advisor was not him, and once he was not working, it was not through logical advice that he helped his friends, but with his heart.
"Do you have a better one" He shot at them both. "He needs to be close to you, it will help him remember! And honestly at some point you will have to let him know you were lovers. There is a chance he will not recover his memory and you may have to deal with that, but it does not mean you two cannot be together. You have to act!"
"Erestor is right. Do what he suggests it is our best option for now." Elrond sighed and shrugged.
"Very well. I will go then. We will see how it goes"
"Yes. Welcome him for us. I want to take a look at his wounds, but it can be later, if he was released from the Lórien healers I am sure it was safe to do so." Elrond said standing up and opening the door for his friend.
"It was. He is completely healed, physically. And I almost forgot to say, he already knows of his parents death. It was not such a great shock, but he felt it, deep inside he knows them."
"We all still grieve for them and all who lost their lives in this battle. Maybe this was not only an escape from the pain Glorfindel, maybe it was a gift from the Valar. He might not have been able to bear it otherwise."
Elrond's words made Glorfindel frown and leave the study wondering about the idea. It was unlikely, maybe, but it was plausible. A gift, it could have been a gift. This seemed a much easier way to see things.
"This is it. Your favorite spot in Imladris." Glorfindel said smiling and spinning around once, inhaling the sweet scent of the gardens and enjoying the shadow under the apple tree.
Lindir looked in wonder at the great tree, closing his eyes delighted at the feel of fresh wind blowing against his face. He could not see the wind, but he could feel It. Just like withGlorfindel, he could not remember, but he felt it, and he discovered he felt so much for his friend. It was still frightening, everything was, and the knowledge he was interested in the one person who had been a friend to him, only added to his fears and expectations, but there was something thrilling about every moment he spent with the Elda, and it made him fearless of what would come, he knew he could make it through it. Lindir believed the words the blond had told him a month ago when he woke up confused and he knew Glorfindel would always be there for him.
Sighing and smiling blissfully he sat down under the tree shade, his back resting against the trunk, the energy of the old tree coursing through him.
"It is beautiful. I had good taste to like this place."
"You still do." Glorfindel sat down beside the white haired elf and looked at him adoringly, unable to hide the feelings behind his eyes. This was surely the same Lindir as always and his heart beat strongly for him.
Lindir frowned, blushing at his hopeful thoughts of what that look might have meant and looked away.
"So, do you come here with me a lot"
"It is funny to hear you speak like that, as if it were about someone else. But yes, we used to come here a lot."
"To do what" Lindir absent mindedly played with a daisy growing near the tree, waiting for the answer. "Day's eyes." He whispered to himself.
"Well, we come here to read and talk, have picnics, just be in each other's company," he answered honestly.
"We are really good friends then." He said with a soft smile that played mirrored in Glorfindel's lips.
"Yes, we are."
"Great. Now let us eat, I am starving!" Lindir said reaching for the food basket and restlessly searching through it. "No lembas bread" He asked pouting slightly, even if he did not intend to.
Glorfindel chuckled and shook his head. "I am so sorry! I will reprimand the cooks, how can they make a picnic for Lindir and not put lembas in the basket! I brought two packs of it for a reason! I will go to the kitchens and bring some, rest there and enjoy the view, I will not be long."
Lindir nodded and closed his eyes, resting his head against the tree trunk, face turned in the sun's direction. It had been a few minutes since Glorfindel had left when he heard a noise and opened his eyes.
"Back already Oh I am sorry, I thought you were someone else." Lindir smiled apologetically at the elf in front of him, tall, slender, brown haired, with a clever smile on his face.
"It is no problem young Lindir. We are glad to have you back." The elf said, and seemed apparently unaware of the white haired elf's loss of memory and Lindir was embarrassed to point out he did not know him, so did not ask the other's name.
"And I am glad to be back." He offered.
"Ah I am sure your lover is glad to have you back here as well." The elf said smiling kindly.
"What What did you say My lover" Lindir stared in shock at the ageless face and stood up ready to further inquiry the elf.
"Well yes he.."
"Ah here I am, with the bread!" Glorfindel announced his arrivel carrying a smaller basket with the bread..
"Oh I did not know you were here with him. I will leave you two." The brown haired elf hastily announced intrigued by the confusion in Lindir's question and not wanting to interrupt the lovers.
"I did not even have time to invite him." The Elda said cocking an eyebrow. "What were you talking about"
"Ah, nothing. He was welcoming me home, I do not think he knows I do not remember anything, he said some odd things."
"What things" Glorfindel asked absentmindedly while placing the basket down.
"Oh nothing of importance. Now, to the bread."
Lindir said dismissively and sat back down, eagerly taking the basket from his friend and starting to unwrap the lembas bread, the few words exchanged with the unknown elf, ringing constantly in his mind.
"We have a feast to attend to tomorrow." Glorfindel announced.
"A feast What for"
"Well, for the ending of the war I told you about. They had one shortly after all returned, but Elrond says, many were worried about us." Glorfindel laughed. "Is it not flattering Well they decided to have a new one and I suppose it serves as a welcoming feast for us."
"Oh well, I do not have anything to wear." Lindir said shyly.
"Of course you do! Lindir you are one of the most elegant elves of this valley. How is it that your mother put it; dressed simply, but with taste. I thought you had rummaged through your wardrobe by now, but if you have not, we will do so when we return to our room."
Lindir smiled brightly excited about the idea.
Hours later that night, Glorfindel had finished dressing up, and Lindir barely concealed his amazement at his friends beauty. The blond was dressed in midnight blue robes with golden embroidery that complimented his hair, the deep blue eyes seemed lighter compared to the dark color of the clothes and he seemed to glow. He had shyly accepted the offer to braid the Elda's hair, marveling that how good it felt running through his fingers and with guidance the braids came out all right.
Lindir's robes were of a light green, although the white haired elf had wanted to wear black, saying it would make a nice contrast with his hair, Glorfindel said it was too much of a dark color for such a lovely evening and he had relented and chosen the lighter one.
The feast started an hour after sunset and although slightly intimidated, Lindir could not help smiling and how friendly all elves seemed to one another, as if the whole of Imladris was one great family. He had had a fair amount of laughs during dinner, enjoying himself, but his attention was completely ripped away from anything else, three moved to the center of the room and each took an instrument, starting the play the most beautiful and perfect music Lindir had ever heard. His eyes closed to better enjoy the flow of the smooth sound, the velvet voices that sang effortless, he could see the skilled fingers mastering the instruments with precision and it was fascinating. The young elf's look of pure delight did not escape Glorfindel's attention and when finally the feast was over he suggested the other to go talk to the minstrels.
Lindir was hesitant at first, but the inviting smile that the musicians gave all coming their way changed his mind, and he stood up walking with sure steps towards them. The Balrog Slayer had decided he was not needed now and talked to his friends only later realizing his lover and the minstrels had been engaged in a passionate conversation for over an hour.
He excused himself and stood up, walking to the merry elves and interrupting their conversation.
"I am sorry to interrupt, but my curiosity was irresistible, what is it so interesting that you have been kept busy for so long" he asked Lindir.
"Music! They were telling me of how they learnt of the passion for music, how they feel when playing, they even told me some secrets to the profession!"
"And we asked Lindir if he would like to learn." The eldest of the three elves spoke with a blinding smile. "You always said he had talent, Glorfindel."
"Did you accept" The warrior asked.
"Oh yes!"
"Oh Lindir I am so happy to hear it!" Unaware of his actions, Glorfindel swept the younger elf in his arms and spun around, setting him down as soon as reason came back to his mind.
"I am sorry Lindir, I was merely happy, I believe you have found your true passion and it was something you had always wanted to.." He offered as an apology.
"Our young minstrel." One of the three musicians teased.
But Lindir was too busy to care now. He looked lovingly at the elf before him, barely containing his own affection and desire to be held like that again. It was so strong and so new! But it did not feel new, it felt fresh and alive, but grown and matured, his feelings for Glorfindel, and although it was confusing it was pure bliss as well.
Already a month had passed since their return, two since Lindir had woken up without any memories and things had not changed much in that aspect, but now the young elf was eager and not worried about what the future held for him. He took great pleasure in his music lessons, proving to be truly talented at both playing instruments, in special the harp and flute, as well as singing. He would everyday come to his rooms and excitedly share with Glorfindel all his new discoveries and the blond would always listen quietly, with a knowing smile playing on his lips.
This day though, things had been different. Lindir had seen the elf who had some time ago revealed to him he had a lover, and the temporarily forgotten guilt now haunted him. Glorfindel lay on his side on the bed looking curiously as his friend paced around the room.
"Lindir what is the matter. Is it something with your lessons"
"No, no. It is all right."
"Lindir stop pacing and do not lie to me. I know you better than you think and it is clear something is bothering you. You can tell me." He said patting on mattress.
Lindir sighed distressed and sat down with his legs folded in front of him, intently looking away from the probing blue eyes.
"Lindir"
He looked down, his bright green eyes wide. "Right. I...I have been told that I had a lover." He said frowning at the sharp intake of breath from Glorfindel.
"Who told you so"
"That elf...the day we had a picnic, about a month ago."
"That long Did he tell you who it was" The Elda's eyes scanned his love's face desperate for some sign of recognition, love or rejection.
"No."
Glorfindel sighed in relief. He did not know why he had not told Lindir of the truth yet. He had had to ask many to not mention it and count on luck regarding the rest, but none did really understand his motives.
"Then, what is the matter?"
"Why did you not tell me I had a lover?" Lindir asked quietly, daring to look up at Glorfindel.
"I…you had too much to take in. If you knew to have a lover, you might feel obligated towards that elf" Lindir had not expected Glorfindel's answer to actually make sense, but it did. But it roused another question. Why had his lover not looked for him? But Glorfindel's eyes seemed keen on another emotion crossing Lindir's eyes, and it stole him from those thoughts.
"What is wrong, Lindir?"
"I am falling...have fallen in love with someone and I am afraid it might not be my lover." Lindir closed his eyes in shame. Glorfindel would hate him if he knew he was the object of his love, he was probably a friend of his earlier lover.
"In love" The blond's voice quavered. This could not be happening! It had to be one of the minstrels, they were the only people Lindir spent time with besides himself.
"I do not think you should worry. If your lover has not come to you, it is because he does not wish to pressure you."
"I do not know who that elf is, and it must be hurting him so bad not to be remembered, but he did not come looking for, he did not even try to befriend me like you did! You were my friend from day one, you saved my life, you promised me friendship, when I got here I even found out we shared a room…." Lindir trailed off seeing a single tear run down his friend's cheek and it seemed to be the final piece of the puzzle, his own words sounded ridiculously obvious in his mind.
"It is you. It is, is it not " Lindir looked deeply into the other's eyes, but Glorfindel did not move, did not look or away or speak. "It is you! Tell me! You are my lover!" He yelled not able to explain why he was so angry now, but the sob that escaped the elf next to him softened his heart.
"How could I not realize Why Why did you hide this from me"
Glorfindel sat up and his determination was clear. It had come the time to tell him the truth.
"L-Lindir, you do not know how it was. To stand by your bed when you woke up, calling you my love and have you answer me asking who I was! I was so afraid to lose you…and maybe I did, but at least I still have...had you as a friend, I still had you near and trusting me. I did not tell you because I did not want to pressure you! To feel like you had to return the feelings of someone you barely knew!"
"Was it just that Or were you afraid to dislike me without my memories" Lindir asked warily.
"How can you say that�! I took care of you since the minute you woke up! I would have died for you if I could stop you from being hurt or suffering in the slightest, and I do not speak these words lightly! I have loved you for so long, we were a couple. Not perfect because no one is, but we were so happy and so in love. We completed each other, even our fights were unique and complete, my life was all about you and you used to know that. But it does not matter now." Glorfindel wiped his tears with the back of his hand standing from the bed.
"Why not" Lindir had been shaken hearing all those admissions. First of all, the elf he wanted loved him deeply and he felt he was not worthy of so much care and devotion.
"Because you are in love, remember And you said it yourself it was not your lover."
"I did not say that. I said it might not be my lover, because I did not know who he was." Lindir stood up, and sighing he walked to the large elf, gently resting a hand on the broad shoulder, his own eyes feeling with tears at the confusion and hope that shone from his beloved's eyes when he turned around.
"What do you mean"
"I mean it is you, the one I am in love with."
"Do not tease me Lindir, it hurts."
"I am not teasing! I told you, you were and are my hero, my friend, my safe place to run to whenever I need, whenever it becomes too overwhelming and lonely not to remember. You are beautiful, in every way I can see and…I felt odd liking you so much in such a short time, I did not think love was like this. It felt powerful and each time I looked at you my heart beat stronger, I was confused and with a blank memory, but when all felt new and strange, you seemed right in place and familiar. It is so overwhelming what I feel for you in a short time, I was confused. I do not remember you, but my hearts knows you because you live inside of me." Lindir took a shaky breath gently cradling a calloused hand in his and touching it to his heart.
"Oh Lindir, I would doubt you and your words if I could, but I cannot, my heart demands that I believe you, so please mean what you say, because I could not take it otherwise. I was afraid to lose your love, but I was told love is not a memory and that your heart would know and recognize me, and even though I grew to believe or at least hope for that, I am so glad it is true!"
Glorfindel wrapped his love in a strong hug, as if his life depended on it, and for the first time since that accident, their lips met in a kiss again. The gentlest of all kisses, full of love and novelty, yet experienced and knowing touch.
Lindir melted into the kiss, moaning softly, unable to believe his dream was true now. He felt thankful for receiving so much happiness, but it was no time to wonder if he was worthy of it or not. The elf lost himself in his lovers arms as they explored each other for the first time and again.
Months had passed and although Lindir's memory had not returned, he and Glorfindel were as happy as ever rediscovering their relationship and each other. Lindir was now a minstrel of Imladris, the newest addition to the group of musicians he had been so amazed with.
Every month this day, the day Lindir had woken up after the accident, they would celebrate it as it were an anniversary, spending the whole day together, devoting themselves to nothing but the other.
"Lindir, where are you taking me"
"Calm down and do not peek!" Lindir grinned and kept leading his blinded lover through the gardens until he stopped and uncovered his eyes.
Glorfindel opened them to the usual sight of the gardens, in fact a particularly secluded and open area, with not many flowers or tress around.
"Lindir? What is this I thought you were going to lead me to a beautiful garden, a special place.."
He said coming closer and wrapping his arms around his lover's waist.
"But this is a special place! Or it will be." He said reaching inside his robes and taking out a small bag, which he opened and emptied it's contents on Glorfindel's opened hand.
"A seed"
"Yes.." Lindir blushed. "It is an apple tree seed. I wanted for us to plant it so it will be our new favorite place, and it will grow with our relationship, marking our new phase."
"That is beautiful Lindir. Thank you, I am sorry I doubted your choice of setting." Lindir chuckled and looked over his shoulder at Glorfindel.
"I…I planned it to be my gift to you, to us, in case you accepted my proposal."
"What proposal is that" Glorfinel asked smiling, completely oblivious.
"To bind yourself to me." Lindir stuttered blushing, but forcing to keep his eyes locked with the blonde's.
"Bind" The Elda asked shocked.
"Yes, you even said once we planned on doing it..."
"Yes, but that was before, wanting or not it has been little since you met me, you cannot be completely sure of this and I do not want to force you to anything you are not certain." Glorfindel had been extremely surprised with that request, and though his heart rejoiced, it also hesitated.
"That is always your excuse. " Lindir said. "I am not being pressured, I was the one to ask. If anyone is being pressured it is you! Is that the problem Do you not want that kind of commitment You can tell me, I will understand if you have a reason."
"No! No, I want this more than anything, but it is dangerous Lindir, and it is forever, you have to be sure of it because once it is done there is not turning back, our souls will be united as will our hearts and mind, the fate of one will be that of the other and I do not wish to put you in any danger."
"I know it is dangerous...I have been speaking to Elrond about it. And I am sure. I know it seems unlikely, but just like you said once, my heart knows and remembers you for much longer than my mind does. I love you just as much if not more than I did before, I can feel that, I know that. All that happened, it has only made me stronger, made us stronger, our relationship and ourselves. I can handle this like I never could before and I want it. I will respect whatever your decision is, but I want you to know I am certain of what I am proposing, I will not regret, ever. And also, it might seem a childish reason, but if something like this ever happens again, our hearts, bodies, minds and souls will be connected and I will never forget you again, because you will be a greater part of me and I will always have you close."
Lindir's heart melted at the stunning smiled Glorfindel was giving him.
"You are definitely the one good with words, I have always said so. And it is my greater wish to have you with me forever, sharing my life. I accept your proposal, my love."
Lindir laughed warmly and wrapped his arms over his lover's neck, holding him close, both too overwhelmed by emotion to speak much now.
"We will have to celebrate this." Glorfindel announced quietly after some time.
"Another feast" Lindir asked not so eager about the idea.
"That too, yes, but I thought of something more private. I know of something really fun to do.." Glorfindel grinned wickedly. "And I know you will love, you always do."
"Glorfindel! You are being naughty."
The Elda laughed and nodded, taking Lindir by the hand and leading him back inside of the house, but instead of heading to their rooms he took Lindir to the kitchens and the younger elf had quite a laugh watching his lover shove the cooks out of the kitchen and push him inside locking the doors.
"Glorfindel What are we going to do here" Lindir asked cocking an eyebrow.
"Lembas bread!" The blond announce grinning maniacally and laughing at his lover's bemused expression. "What did you think I had in mind, love"
Opening all the doors and drawers he could find, Glorfindel gathering the necessary ingredients.
As they started mixing ingredients, flour spread over the table and the air, their faces slightly whiter, and from there their cooking did not follow any recipes, just the one of having fun and making a mess. Arms and clothes dirty of dough, eggs, flour and other ingredients. They occasionally stopped working to throw dough at each other and laughed endlessly at the teasing jokes.
Glorfindel supported himself with one hand over a table, trying to catch his breath from laughing so hard.
"Oh Lindir, It has been such a long time since I had this much fun! It was just like…" He trailed off laughing.
Lindir's green eyes seemed to flash brighter watching Glorfindel laugh, all covered in flour and though. The sound of the voice, the features…His eyes widened in shock as a sudden overload of information was dropped in his mind, but not erasing the current ones.
"Just like the day after you asked permission to court me."
The blond' eyes shot up in shock and puzzlement.
"We celebrated like this." Lindir completed.
"You...you remember" Glorfindel could barely stutter the words.
"I do. Now I do…I remember everything." Their eyes locking in amazement and surprise. "I remember! And I have not forgotten what happened after the accident, I remember it all. Everything."
"Oh Lindir." The Elda swept the younger elf in his arms squeezing him tightly. "But how"
"I survived, I grew stronger, strong enough to handle what I could not before. I am healed, you healed me. I am back now.." He whispered, holding Glorfindel tightly to himself.
"You were never gone, you were always the same my love, but I am so happy you can remember."
Lindir smiled adoringly at the blonde. "You saved me, took care of me, charmed me, all over again, my spirit never forgot you. You are unforgettable." Lindir said, claiming his lover's lips in a breathtaking kiss to engrave in his memory, that they belonged together.
They sat under the shade of their new apple tree. Two hundred years had passed since Lindir's parents death and although he would never stop missing them, the experience had taught him a lot. His lithe body leaned against the broad, muscled chest of his lover, his arms caressing those wrapped around his waist.
: The lovers watched the dying sunlight elongate the shadows of the branches and leaves, reflecting on the ground a distorted moving picture of the beautiful reality surrounding them. The gentle breeze of early spring teased their hair and delighted the visitors in the garden, carrying the sweet scent of flowers in its carefree sprint through the grove surrounding the valley. Swirling in the skies and invading the rooms of the house, it whispered gentle songs to the inhabitants. They quietly admired the gift of nature before them and it was only a long time later when Lindir broke the silence.
"What if I had never remembered?" He asked looking over his shoulder.
Glorfindel leaned his head to the side cocking an eyebrow. "Do you still think of this, my love? I believe we would have lived happily either way."
"But you would have been saddened to have me not remember anything of our past moments together." Lindir replied softly.
"No, I was saddened and frustrated at first, but the memories did not matter, they did not make the greatness of what we felt and we would have rebuilt our history."
Lindir smiled and nodded, sighing softly. "It might sound foolish, but I always thought it all had a purpose. I would not have been able to deal with my loss and I would have faded, not even our love would have been enough to keep me here."
:Glorfindel caressed his cheek, "I know, when I realized that my heart suffered, but you are safe, and you will never forget again."
"Never," Lindir whispered.
: Lindir closed his eyes and took in the scent of his lover, the one to whom his soul and heart were bound in a love that would never die. His new life had blended with the old and he was where he belonged. He would never forget the lessons this experience had taught him and the memory would be forever guarded safely in his mind, that every day was a new beginning in itself and that his love for life and his mate would keep him happy until the end of time.
The End.
Final notes:
-I understand Tolkien said 'bodily union' caused the marriage bond between two elves, and therefore Lindir and Glorfindel would already be bound by the beginning of the story, but being this a story, and not the original, I wanted there to be a celebration that would mark their union and for plot reasons, I could not have them sharing their souls sooner than that.
-I truly hope you have enjoyed this experience, as I have. XD.
Melyanna.
