Well...
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(Play "game title – song title")
~onomatopoeia~
Yeah.
Cardiac Kingdom (A Nintendo/Squaresoft crossover) Part 1: The (Very Boring) Intro
Over a black background, that familiar red logo everyone knows to be (Nintendo) appears.
The logo fades and is replaced with the word SQU▲RESOFT.
Some other company name comes up, but by this point I've stopped paying attention to the legal crap.
...
Start start start start start start start start, YES!
(Play "LED Storm(ZX Spectrum) - Intro")
The title screen finally comes up, showing on the right side the image of a young man with brown spiky hair, brown eyes, a large chin and a toned muscular build. He's wearing a red shirt with rolled-up sleeves, brown work boots, a pair of white safety gloves, and a pair of blue work pants held up by a pair of blue suspenders that use two bright yellow clips on the front. On his neck is a chain necklace with a little silver compass for a pendant. In his right hand, he is holding a sledge hammer. So, overall, he looks like hes part of a construct crew. At the bottom of the screen, the words ©2002 Nintendo appear, with a flashing PRESS START over it for good measure. On the left side of the screen is the games logo: a light blue heart with a bunch of keyholes on it, the words "Cardiac Kingdom" in the center of it, and the company logos in small print above it. I press START.
[NEW GAME]
LOAD
OPTIONS
Difficulty:
Easy
[Normal]
Hard
Yeah, I totally want to play easy mode first. Not! The game would probably just make fun of me for doing it anyway.
Name: . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
My name? I don't think I've seen a sixth-generation game ask me for my name before. I think the last time I did was for Majora's Mask. Man, I should play through that game again.
Name: Chris Melton . . .
[OK]
[Difficulty: Hard
Name: Chris Melton
Proceed?]
Now to wait for this music to finish its loop.
…
[Yes] No
The screen fades.
(Play "Solstice(NES) - Title Theme")
As the music slowly fills the room, (Nintendo) appears on the black screen yet again. The logo then morphs into SQU▲RESOFT. I feel nostalgic.
Suddenly, the music becomes awesome. The Cardiac Kingdom logo appears on screen with a flash. I am somewhat amazed.
As the rockin' song continues, the game shows a montage (through FMV!) of what seem to be various points in that spiky-haired guy's life. Scenes of him growing up and playing with some other kids on a beach, going to school, working in some sort of shop; that type of stuff. Three other people also appear prominently: some red-haired girl, another brown-haired guy, and a silver-haired guy. Curiously, the silver-haired guy seems to replace the brown-haired guy in the middle of the montage. Hm... Oh, whatever, the game'll answer that later.
The song nears its end, and the montage does as well. The two final spots in the montage seem to hold some significance, instead of being just a mood setter. The first is an image of the three people working on what looks like a mostly-finished boat inside of a workshop, and the second is an image of a circular surface. It depicts a women who... well, I would describe her appearance, but really, its not necessary. It's Princess Peach, with her many Toad servants surrounding her.
The AMV ends, and the graphics become cheaper, yet the image stays on screen. Turns out, its a piece of scenery. Specifically, its a platform made of stained glass or something.
(Play "Ghouls N' Ghosts(Amiga) – Level 1")
As some haunting music plays, and the camera moves closer to the glass, I can see that the spiky-haired guy is face-down on top of it. Except here, he is wearing some white pajamas with a blue wavy pattern on it, and his hair isn't spiky right now; instead, its more of a bedhead.
The man starts to get up, rubbing his forehead as he does. He looks confused. I probably would be too if I woke up somewhere in my pajamas that wasn't my bed. Actually, I wouldn't, because I would be dreaming, and I don't wear pajamas anyway.
As the man looks around, a voice in his head (I think) begins speaking to him.
"Pick a weapon."
A podium appears on one side of the platform. On it is a sword in a scabbard.
"Any weapon."
Another podium appears, this time with a shield on it.
"It doesn't matter which."
A third podium appeared, with a bow and quiver on it.
"But choose carefully. Your decision will affect your entire journey."
Okay, so I get to choose my specialty. Awesome. I don't know why the voice just contradicted itself, but whatever. I pretty much made my decision before I even started the game, but first, I shall humor the game. I first move over to the bow. I press (B)Examine.
The screen switches to a different angle, with the guy examining the bow and quiver in his hands. A bar of text appears on the bottom half of the screen that reads thusly:
[On the podium was a {green}green bow and quiver{end green}. This might help you to {green}become a better marksman{end green}.
Will you take this?]
Well, marksmanship does sound good. Then again, if I do end up getting guns later, I bet I'll just end up collecting ammo that I'll be too afraid to use, and have melee weapons that are artificially weaker, so...
Yes [No]
Continuing on, I move over to the shield. (B)Examine and all that jazz.
[A {blue}blue shield{end blue} rested on the podium. With this, you should be able to {blue}learn magic abilities{end blue}.
Will you take this?]
With a shield? Forget it, I don't like using magic in RPGs anyway.
Yes [No]
Okay, now I get the sword. (B)Examine
[There was a {red}sword in a red scabbard{end red} on the podium. You might {red}gain more strength{end red} if you use this.
Will you take this?]
Now we're talkin', game!
[Yes] No
Something happens. The glass begins to crack under the man's feet. In seconds, the glass gives in, causing him to fall into the endless abyss.
…Or onto another platform. This time, it has Princess Daisy on it, with what looks to be a desert behind her. The man gets up, using the sword to help lift himself. He looks around for a second.
"You need to be ready to fight them."
As soon as that was said, six pools of darkness appeared around him. Each one starts to rise up and turn into humanoid, and somewhat terrifying, creatures.
These creatures look interesting at the very least. They're completely black, except for a pairs of yellow glowing eyes, with sharp claws, sharp teeth, or more accurately, sharp lips, and most horrifyingly, black pulsating hearts on their chests, seemingly held there by several thick arteries.
The man unsheathes his sword quickly and gets into a fighting position.
"Will you be ready?"
A lifebar and some other stuff appear at the top-left of the screen. Over the bar was the name SAVERIO in capital letters. Hm, must be Spanish or something.
Anyway, an easy battle follows, as is usual with tutorial battles. I just hack and slash, hack and slash, hack and slash, and they all fade away. I even get a free level up.
[Level up! Saverio] ~Sparkle~
With the bodies of his enemies now suspiciously littering the floor, Saverio puts his sword back in its sheath.
"You fight well."
The bodies start to sink down and turn into darkness once more. The darkness start to form into one big puddle of darkness, and some black smoke rises out of it. The puddle moves under Saverio.
…Oh boy.
Saverio suddenly starts sinking quickly until he seems to fall out the other side and begins to fall into the abyss. For about five seconds, the screen was just him and the darkness.
...Then he falls onto another platform. He manages to land on his feet somehow, albeit a bit shakily. Because of dream logic, he doesn't even crack the platform, which has the image of... Pauline from Donkey Kong? Odd, its normally just royalty that shows up on stained glass.
At the center of the platform is a chest, no doubt holding some useful item. Off to the side though, is a chair. A simple, red armchair. As I'm sure anyone would agree, the ability to sit in a video game is just incredible, more so than any chest could be (and that includes chests containing elixirs and the kind girls have), so I go to the chair first.
I press (B)Sit, causing Saverio to sit in it, put his sword on his lap, rest his left elbow on the arm, and put his left hand on his face, rubbing it slowly. Hes stressin', I guess. He Doesn't have to worry though, because now his healthbar is filled back up! The screen turns a few shades darker.
[Slot 1]
Slot 2
Oh, its a save too.
[File 1] File 2 File 3 File 4
[Yes] No
Saving data. Do not remove the memory card(16Mb) or shut off the Gamecube™.
I wonder if I should have researched this game more before I bought it?
7/16/2006 4:26 pm
Chris Melton Lvl.02
00:13 The Beginning
Time to continue.
I move up to the chest and press (B)Open. A cutscene starts to show Saverio opening the chest and...
[Gained a {red}●Potion{end red}] ~ching~
A cheap looking wooden arched door appears near the edge of the platform with a lazily painted bullseye on it. How inelegant.
"Now move forward."
Needing no other instructions, Saverio walks up to it and tries the doorknob first, but it doesn't work, so he pulls out his sword and starts hitting it. It does not break. Typical.
"Use this."
A crate appears at a complete and totally convenient time.
I walk over to the crate and press (B)Pick up. As expected, Saverio picks it up, over his head, in fact, and I carry it over to the door and press (A)Throw. Saverio throws it right into the bullseye, causing the crate to explode into little wooden pieces, and the door to... slowly creak open, like it was just the wind that blew it open. Lame.
~fanfare~
Oh, shut up.
Behind the door is a set of floating stained glass steps leading to another platform. A quick look reveals its not there when you look around the door. I'm sure there's a term for that, but I can't think of it right now.
I start going up the steps, thinking that there's a boss or, at the least, a stronger mook, at the top. I hope so, 'cause this introductory level is starting to get really boring.
When I get to the top, a cutscene starts. I get a good look at the platform, which has the image of... some red fairies that I don't recognize. How fun. Saverio looks around for anything dangerous.
"It's coming."
He looks behind himself quickly, stepping back for precaution, only to find nothing. Then he and the camera look down at his shadow, which I just noticed is round, still where he was a moment ago, not connected to him. It begins to grow bigger and start rising from the ground. Saverio quickly pulls out his sword. Now fully solid, the shadow looks like the silhouette of a... giant ant. You know, obviously. A long green lifebar appears at the top of the screen, with the name "GIANT ANT?" over it, like its not clearly a giant ant, and one small green square under it, no doubt indicating that it has two lifebars.
I take the first swing at its head, but it blocks it rather easily. So much for the head being the weak point. I circle around it and hit it from behind, but to no avail. Suddenly, the ant flips around a full 180 degrees, trapping Saverio in its giant mandibles, causing him to yell in pain, and me to start rapidly pressing buttons. It ends up cutting a quarter of my life off with that attack.
Choosing a different tactic, I decide to try jumping on top of it. Finding that its back is foot-worthy, I quickly find what appears to be a purple vain running along its back. I start mashing (A) as fast as possible, the ants HP going down quickly as I do. The ant is of course not pleased with this, but seems to be too lazy or fat or stupid to shake me off, so it decides to summon some other smaller ants to stop me. They are dealt with quickly. when I bring its HP down to 0, it crumples to the ground like the pathetically easy boss it is. A prompt appears on screen.
(B)Finish
Not missing the opportunity, Saverio flips his sword in hand and drives it into the weird vein thing, causing the beast to scream. He seems to say something, but I can't hear it. I would say it is a fitting end if it wasn't so easy.
…Then, suddenly, the ant starts to melt into the ground like the shadows before him. Saverio, unfortunately, is right in the middle of this, and to make matters worse, his sword is stuck in the ant's back. With him desperately trying to get his only weapon out, it isn't long before he is pulled into the darkness along with it. As he sinks, the only thing he can do is raise his hand in the air, until that is all that I can see of him. The voice decides to get one last word in.
"The Darkness is coming."
With no chance of help, the screen starts to fill with darkness. With the sound of a beeping noise fading in and the music slowly fading out, it seems that this part of the game is over.
Finally!
And chapter 1 is done! ...I actually don't know what to say here. Except maybe to ask for reviews. And to please spell correctly. I guess I'll see you in a few weeks. Maybe. Possibly. I don't know.
Later.
Wordcount: 2,804
Last updated: 4/2/11