For Always and Eternity
Inspiration just hit me for this one day while I was doing the dishes.
Inspiration hits me in funny places lol. Anyway it's just a one shot so
enjoy. Thanks to Manda for betaing this for me. Read on people.
"True love is eternal, infinite, and always like itself. It is equal and
pure, without violent demonstrations: it is seen with white hairs and is
always young in the heart.
Lucas,
Hey Broody. It's been a year. 365 days since I've seen you last. 365 days
since we've touched, kissed, laughed, smiled, talked or cuddled. 365 days.
God I miss you. The kids too. This morning all Brittany and I did was cry
together. You should see her Luke she's beautiful. The most beautiful 18
year old I've ever seen. Its funny, we were that age when we had her and God
she's so grown up. She looks like me, but babe her personality is a perfect
mix of us both. And she's so responsible; she helps me so much with our
other three. You'd be so proud of her Luke. In the fall she's going off to
NYU for pre-med. Her graduation is in a month and God I wish you could be
here to see it. You'd be so proud Broody, so proud.
I remember at our high school graduation, I was five months pregnant with
Brit and she kicked through the whole thing. When I told you, you just
laughed and said that it meant she was going places in life—just like we
would.
And we did go places didn't we babe? Married when we were 20—Brit was two,
you were the best journalist in Charlotte and somehow Haley and I managed to
get Clothes Over Bros to be one of the hottest labels out there. Do you
remember that time we went to New York for one of my fashion shows? I think
it was the first night in that hotel where we conceived Braiden, but then
again you never know with us.
Braiden is the brightest, prettiest, six year old I've ever seen. And she
looks just like you Broody. It's unbelievable. I look at her, Dakota, and
Devon and sometimes I want to cry—especially when I look at Devon, because
at least Dakota and Braiden will have some memories of you seeing as they
were four and five when you died, but Devon, she was just one, and she'll
never know her daddy. That kills me. And Dakota and Braiden will never get
to know you like Brittany did. But Haley, Nathan, Brittany, your mom and I
all tell those three about you all the time Luke. The other night I was
telling the kids about our first date, do you remember? God we were so
young. After I finished the story Dakota looked at me and said "Mommy you
really miss Daddy don't you?" I nodded as I choked back tears, pulling him
to me.
Braiden may look like you Luke, but Dakota is you. Every thing he does
reminds me of you from the way his forehead wrinkles when he's deep in
thought to the eyes he gives me when he's trying to get me to give him his
way. The Scott Puppy Dog Eyes Haley and I call them.
And then there's Devon. She's Devon. She's got my hair and dimples but she
has your eyes. And she's so vibrant and lively and energetic. She's given me
a run for my money. But you said that she would the day she was born. You
said she'd be a handful. I wish that you could see her. I wish that she
would grow up with you here but fate has a cruel way of intervening.
I still can't believe that it was a year ago today when you died. I will
never forget that phone call or the voice of the police officer when he said
"Mrs. Scott, there's been an accident and we have your husband here. I'm
sorry to say this, but he's gone." I don't know what else he said because it
was at that instant that I dropped the phone and fell to the floor sobbing.
Haley picked it up. I couldn't believe it, the person that hit your car
tried to contact me but I just couldn't. You were my everything, my other
half, and we had been us, Broody and Cheery, or Brucas as Naley liked to
joke, for so long that I didn't know what to do.
I'll never forget Haley walking in with the kids and Braiden asking me when
Daddy was going to be home. The hardest thing I ever had to do was tell them
that Daddy wouldn't be coming home ever again. God I remember not believing
it myself, and just listening for your car to pull into the driveway. Or
laying in bed at night thinking you'd walk in after brushing your teeth, get
into bed and pull me to you, kissing my forehead. Or in the morning I kept
thinking that you would walk in with a fussing Devon in your arms and smile
that smile, the ones that made my knees go weak, the one that you saved just
for me and call me Pretty Girl. Because every morning since we were 17 you
had been there Luke, everyday and there I was at 35 and you were gone.
You're still gone and it's still not fair! We were supposed to grow old
together, watch our kids grow up then watch them start families of their
own.
Dammit Luke! You promised me I could die first so I wouldn't have to deal
with you not being here! You promised me because you were always the
stronger one! I just…I just miss you so much. God, so much.
I was driving into work today and our song came onto the radio, I had to
pull over I was crying so hard. I remember us dancing to that song at our
wedding, or dancing around the house with the kids, and "I'll Be" would come
on the radio and it was like we were the only two people in the world, like
we were 17 again without a care in the world.
I miss dancing with you, Nate and Jake make sure I still get spun around on
the dance floor whenever we go to weddings or whatever, but it's not the
same. I just miss being in your arms. We fit together like two matching
pieces of a puzzle and now everyone else just feels wrong.
I miss seeing you with our kids too, Luke. And if it weren't for our
beautiful babies, I don't think I would have been able to carry on. Because
as cheesy as it sounds, a piece of you will always be here with me. But know
this Broody, I love you and only you forever. You are my soul mate and I'm
yours forever and eternity. We had an amazing 18 years together, four
beautiful children and one hell of a life. I want to thank you for that. I
will love you until the end of time—never forget that.
Love for always and eternity,
Your pretty girl, your wife, your Cheery,
Brooke
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo