Hi!!!! OMG, I am SOOOO sorry about what happened to A Tainted Spider's Web!!! I was kicked off of the computer for FOREVER and when I finally got on...I, um, sort of, ya know, virus kind of thing. Heh. Well, anyway, I'm sure that ya'll think I'm mentally retarded cuz yeah yeah, AKITO'S A FRIGGIN GIRL. breaths in relief Now that that's out of the way, I have also come to warned you of, um, Tohru's specialness. (coughocccough) P.S, watch out for crossovers! And yes yes, this is probably going to be that shortest chapter that you've ever seen, but I PROMISE it'll be longer. And if it's not, you can tazor me. Or...nervously eyes the tazors that angry readers hold up...spitballs work just as well.

ty- anime bored eyes She's gone mad.

gk- SHUT UP! smacks ty upside the head

ty- swirly eyes

OoOOoO

"TTTTTOOOOOHHHHRRRRUUUUU!!!!!!!"

Tohru Honda poked her head over the top of her cubical wall and looked around, an innocent look written all over her face. Smoothing down her black pencil skirt, she stepped off of her desk and fell back on her hot pink fluffy chair.

"Hm. Must of been those Dunkin Donuts talking to me again," she wheezed, patting her stomach through her white business shirt.

She worked on the 30th floor of the Sohma Computer Company, mostly a family owned business that specialized in all that boring computer stuff.

Ya know, the usual boring business thing.

But recently, because of a decline in the number of computer nerds, she was hired for technical support along with a number of other ner- I mean, people.

Kagura Sohma, the short-haired girl that worked next to her, whistled nervously, her eyes never leaving her computer screen as she typed away furiously.

"Oh boy, you're getting it now." she breathed silently.

Kyo Sohma stalked into Tohru's cubical fuming in rage, a laptop in his left hand.

"Why, hello Kyo-kun. How may I be of assistance to you today?" she replied sweetly, cocking her head in his direction.

"Don't Kyo-kun me, you little devil! Care to explain this?" He flipped the cover of his laptop and reveled a little chibie Shigure mooning the screen, a huge stupid grin on his face.

Tohru blinked in fake surprise, feigning a clueless expression as Kyo angrily continued on.

"YOU sent me the stupid foreword from Shigure! YOU friggin' knew it had a friggin' virus, and now my poor baby internet is running like dial-up!" he screamed.

She nodded in agreement at the obvious computer nerd.

"Yes yes. We both agree that dial-up sucks balls. Well Kyo-kun. Can't go wireless forever! Hee-hee."

"FIX IT!"

"What?! That job belongs to a computer nerd, a.k.a., Kyo-kun!!"

"First of all, stop calling me that stupid name! Second of all, I am not a computer nerd!" he tartly replied, pushing his inch-thick Harry Potter glasses up his nose.

"Oh, I'm very sorry. If not a nerd, then a geek!"

At that moment, Kyo was abruptly pulled back by his collar and thrown to the ground, knocking over cubical after cubical like a domino effect in a flurry of papers and other various office supplies until all 52 were flattened except for Tohru's. This was almost a daily occurrence, so she was smart enough to super-glue her walls together. Most of the other's working on that floor were either:

flattened under (a) cubical wall(s)

pressed against the wall in horror

out for donuts so they were safe

"I'm very sorry for my cousin's rude behavior, Tohru-kun." Yuki brushed off his hands on his jeans, glaring scornfully at Kyo who was now passed out and drooling on his shirt.

"Eh, thanks Yun-yun." She grinned, relieved that she wouldn't have to argue with Kyo and, in the process, wasting her oh-so-precious lunch break which she needed to think/plot up for new schemes.

Evil schemes, to be exact.

Yuki blushed scarlet and nodded, dragging Kyo's unconscious body to the elevator, passed the people pressed against the wall in horror.

Tohru sighed and spun around in her chair so that she faced her computer again. She had almost felt sorry that she had forwarded Shigure's virus to Yuki's computer.

Almost, but not quite.

"All right! Back to work!" She stuck a determined look on her face and turned the monitor on. "Let's see..." Tohru picked up a wooden clipboard from one of her desk drawers, "I've infected Momiji's, Kisa's, Itachi's...oh! Akii-san's computer is untouched! Maybe I should send him a little 'friendly' email..."

Akito Sohma (Akii-san) was the company's young boss. Not many have seen him, and if you ever get a call to his office...

...you had better say your prayers.

Only Hatori works for him personally, and even he's taking therapy.

But, being as young and "innocent" as she is, Tohru hadn't yet experienced the burning rage of THE AKITO! MUAHAHAHA...(ahem)

Anyway, Tohru, oblivious to the fact that she hadn't started her paperwork yet, set to work on that "friendly" email.

After about 20 minutes, she yawned and stretched her fingers, doing some kind of yoga move with her hands.

"HAH! I'm finished! Can't wait till he opens this one, my best creation yet! KUKUKUKUKU!! It's ALIVE!" she cackled, doing her best "evil Naraku" laugh.

Hastily, she pressed "Send".

OoOOoO

Akito rubbed the bridge of his nose, trying to relieve the migraine that had threatened to explode his brains every 3.789 minutes.

And, as everybody knows, his under-paid maid/servant/slave (Hatori of course) wouldn't have been very pleased with exploded brains everywhere. Akito didn't want to have to bother with explaining to Hatori why exploded brains were everywhere because it would just give him another migraine.

Well, actually, he'd be dead, which would be just another another migraine.

Damn dumb luck.

"You've got mail!"

His attention was immediately diverted to his flat screened black Dell computer and raised his black, thin eyebrows.

Oh, and did I mention that he was wearing a black turtle neck and black pants? And he owned a black goldfish (now currently a blackfish) named "Fluffly-sama" in a black tainted fish bowl.

(coughemocough)

Well, having nothing better to do, Akito opened the email just so the "You've got mail!" voice would shut up.

"Hey, this is anonymous, so if you're trying to figure out who sent you this, forget about it. Anyway, I've heard rumors that you're currently under a lot of stress and that you're probably that most feared creature in this entire building, next to KIkyou and Kagura that is. You should think about firing them one day. Stalking should NOT be valid in this company...

...but that's beside the point. I've created a nice, beautiful 'Find 10 Differences' scene. Who knows, maybe you'll turn out to be nice enough to take Hatori-san out of therapy and get him his own personal therapist!

Enjoy!"

Akito snorted and quickly glanced at the sender.

FROM: Tohru, he mentally sneered as her opened up the attached file. In it was a serene picture of a mountain valley and a tiny village off to the corner. At the bottom was a copy of the same picture. He crinkled his nose and leaned in to the screen.

The fuck. They're both the same. How does she expect me to-

"BLEAGHIFTHEAAAACK!!!!"

A huge, ugly picture of a close-up Elmo with bleeding eyes and rotten skin suddenly started flashing widely, a horrendous noise filling the large, empty office space. Akito screamed and kicked back out of shock as his leather chair tipped back and landed on the carpet with a loud thud that could be heard under all 39 floors beneath him.

As Elmo left, the two pictures popped up again, calming down the situation. He grabbed the edge of his desk to steady himself and wheezed breathlessly, his pupils dilated.

"You've caught spy ware!"

"TTTTTOOOOOHHHHRRRRUUUUU!!!!!!!"

OoOOoO

Ngh, I'm in kind of a hurry, so I'm gonna end it with a cliffy for now. Well, anyway, I've gotten a couple of emails like the one that Tohru sent to poor Akii-san AND I FALL FOR IT EVERY TIME. OMG, those things always scare me to hell and back. Ugh. sudders Well, they will meet in the next chapter! Oh, and did you see Itachi? He seriously is one of my favorite Naruto characters! Along with Kakashi and Gaara, of course! So, until we meet again, sayonara, beloved akito/tohru fans!