So Long, And Thanks For The Squish
an Aaaah! Real Monsters Fanfic
by Save Fearow
Author's Note: "If you love someone, let them go." That's the sort of phrase everybody hears in their lifetime, but nobody wants to accept. Monsters aren't very different from humans in that respect.
Ickis stared at the luggage in dismay. "Are you REALLY gonna take all'a that junk with you when you visit your parents?" Ickis questioned.
Oblina scowled. "The Monster Manual is not junk." she hissed.
"If it belongs in the dump, it counts as junk." argued Ickis.
"In that case, I could say the same about -you-." Oblina countered.
Ickis' ears drooped. "You don't hafta say anything." Ickis mumbled. "...I already know what you meant."
"Good, then I don't have to repeat myself." Oblina teased.
Ickis sighed. "Maybe I wouldn't mind hearing from you again." he suggested tentatively.
Oblina smiled softly. "Icky, I won't be gone long. But it's been ages since I spent a weekend with Mumsy and Dada. I can't keep turning them down forever." Oblina explained.
"Why not?" Ickis whined.
"Because as ridiculous as they may be, they are -my- parents, and I love them." replied Oblina.
"Sure. We can understand that." Krumm agreed.
"But we'd have an easier time being understanding if you let us come with you!" Ickis insisted.
Oblina shook her head. "I don't think Mumsy would allow you back into the mansion, not after last time." Oblina reasoned.
"So not fair! She called it a 'drawing room'. How was I s'posed to know it's NOT a room where you can draw on the walls?" Ickis huffed.
"I would think it was obvious." Oblina snapped.
"Obviously, you thought wrong." Ickis retorted.
"Don't be a brat Ickis, or I might decide to stay away longer." Oblina threatened.
Ickis' eyes widened. "You wouldn't!" he gasped.
"Of course not." Oblina asserted. "My studies would suffer if I took an extended leave of absence. I'm bringing the Monster Manual with me, so I can keep up with my reading assignments. Hopefully, Mumsy will see how focused I am on scaring, and she will start showing more support for my ambitions." Oblina detailed.
"But what if she DOESN'T?" worried Ickis.
"Don't fret, Icky. I've already convinced Dada that education is important to me, and the household staff have always understood my passions. I am sure that with all of us making a concentrated effort, we can persuade Mumsy that scaring is a worthy endeavor." Oblina persisted.
"And if that doesn't work, tell her it's what you want to do." suggested Krumm.
"Thank you Krummy, I shall keep that in mind." Oblina responded charitably.
"And we'll keep the dorm ready for you! So you can hurry back- er, if you want to, that is. No pressure!" Ickis babbled.
"Thank you Icky, but it's not necessary for you to wait around on my behalf. Relax, have fun, and practice snarling so the Gromble doesn't scold you for lacking intimidation again." Oblina advised.
"Yeesh. You'd think looming would be impressive enough on its own." Ickis groused.
"It's a very useful technique, Ickis, but you need to refine your methods a little if you want to really -impress- the Gromble." Oblina opined.
"The Gromble's not the one I care about impressing..." Ickis admitted. He could feel himself blushing and looked away, hoping Oblina wouldn't ask him to elaborate.
"Hmm, I think you would be better off if you paid more attention to your schoolwork, than whatever outside interests you are cultivating. It's not healthy to devote all your energy towards an -obsession-, and you will only succeed in making yourself miserable." Oblina predicted.
"Misery's not so bad, if you've got company." Ickis professed.
Oblina laughed. "Oh Icky, you DO get some ridiculous ideas from time to time! I shall miss hearing them." Oblina acknowledged.
"Wouldja miss them enough to stay?" Ickis asked hopefully.
"Not even close." Oblina proclaimed.
Ickis' face fell. "I hate my life." he muttered.
"Ickis, it's not THAT bad. You -have- friends, and I'm sure Krumm will be happy to spend time with you while I'm gone." Oblina reasoned.
"Yeah, Ickis. We'll trade scaring cards, stay up late, and eat industrial waste!" Krumm suggested.
"We do that anyway." Ickis argued.
"Then you shouldn't be upset about doing it without me." Oblina theorized as she picked up her suitcase.
"But- but-" Ickis sputtered.
Oblina brushed his concerns aside. "But I really must be going! Toodle-oo, boys." she announced, and marched out of the dorm. Ickis and Krumm watched her go, with Ickis hesitantly opening and closing his mouth and Krumm smiling broadly. Eventually, Krumm broke the silence.
"All this time we've been friends with Oblina but I've never really understood what that means." Krumm mused.
Ickis gulped. "I know! She's so hideous, an' we're not even fit to slink along in her shadow. No matter what I- I mean what WE do, it will -never- be wretched enough for her! She walks in horror like the night, past garbage dumps with buzzing flies, an' all that's best of fear an' fright, meet in her aspect an' her eyes." Ickis lamented.
Krumm blinked. "Uh, I was just wondering what 'toodle-oo' meant, but I guess your anguished declaration of love is also a valid concern." Krumm replied.
"It isn't LOVE! That mushy stuff is for humans!" Ickis protested. "The feeling that I have for Oblina is akin to admiration, tinged with desire, and -vaguely- reminiscent of infatuation, but it certainly ISN'T love!" he squeaked.
"Then why are your paws all sweaty?" Krumm asked.
"I rinsed them in the toilet after our scare." Ickis lied.
"I didn't see you do that." Krumm pointed out.
"You don't see -everything- I do!" Ickis countered.
"I saw you raise the lid for Oblina, then bow deferentially to her." Krumm recalled.
"Ohhh, so now you know a big word like defera- defenestration?!" Ickis fumed.
"I can't play dumb ALL the time." Krumm answered.
Ickis folded his arms crossly. "I'm telling the Gromble that you slack off ON PURPOSE so nobody will demand that you live up to your full potential!" Ickis threatened.
"And I'm sure that will mean alot, coming from you." Krumm replied knowingly.
Ickis mulled it over, but couldn't find any argument substantial enough to refute that logic. "On second thought, maybe I won't tell him. I might be too busy trading scaring cards." Ickis acquiesced.
"Great! Let me know how much you want for your 'Crustzeco the Chupacabra' rookie." Krumm enthused. "I've got a 'Nessie' card with only 2 bite marks I'd be willing to swap." he hinted.
"No way! HIS card been depreciating in value since October of '97! You might as well try to pawn off your torn 'Elban Bigfoot' legacy card!" Ickis thundered.
"I thought it was the scratch-and-stink variety." Krumm admitted.
Unfortunately, not every monster was content to spend the evening pursuing such innocent hobbies. Over in the Snorch's chamber, Zimbo was focusing on something FAR more insidious.
"Snorch, my friend, have you noticed how few students have required our- I mean YOUR discipline lately?" hissed Zimbo.
The Snorch shrugged and mumbled his response.
"No I don't find it a welcome reprieve!" Zimbo snapped. "Don't tell me you are growing FOND of those little miscreants."
The Snorch lowered his gaze. Sensing that his partner's resolve was weakening, Zimbo continued his rant.
"You know that I, Zimbo, am your only -true- friend at this Academy. Have you forgotten the way the others -avoid- you in the hallways? They whisper when they walk past, and they try to sit as far away from you as possible. They don't like you, Snorchy. Why do you think they persist in trying to provoke you? Remember when that AWFUL runt of a loomer -stole- your nose-hair?" Zimbo recalled.
The Snorch muttered a feeble protest.
"I don't care if Ickis apologized later! He was only sorry because he got caught!" Zimbo insisted.
Again, the Snorch tried to voice his dissent.
"Really? It was because Oblina convinced Ickis to try and make amends? Hmpph, I bet she was only doing it so she wouldn't appear guilty by association. You know how much she strives to curry favor with the Gromble, Oblina can't risk being thought of as an enabler to the criminal element. She's always been the type who sucks up to authority figures, a bit of a sycophant if you ask me." Zimbo opined.
Now the Snorch was really aggravated and he roared with frustration.
Zimbo only smirked. "My dear Snorch, you didn't really -believe- Oblina was sincere when she pretended to enjoy your company? Oh sure, she may have been TEMPORARILY swayed by the sound of your voice box, but now that your speech has been... impaired again, she wants NOTHING to do with you." Zimbo asserted.
The Snorch began to sob bitterly.
"It is alright, Snorch. Oblina has hurt you terribly, I know. But it may so happen that we will NOT be dealing with Oblina much longer." Zimbo predicted. "You see, she is visiting her parents this weekend and they are very much against the idea of her -ever- coming back..." explained Zimbo.
Sleep didn't come easily for Ickis that night. He always felt a bit nervous whenever one of his roommates was absent, despite knowing that they would almost definitely be fine. Oblina was a brave monster, she wouldn't be intimidated even if she had to sleep all by herself in the bedroom of a gloomy mansion where all the inhabitants were opposed to her chosen vocation (or at least worked for somebody who considered scaring to be useless and undignified.) Oblina had a strong spirit, she could -never- be enticed to give up something she adored, could she?
Ickis had sought Krumm's opinion several times on the matter, but for some reason Krumm had stopped offering assurances after the first hour of questioning, and had opted to go to bed early. Not even the promise of a free autographed 'Nyarlathotep' card, plus "all the car parts you could eat" was enough to persuade Krumm to continue the discussion. Still, Ickis couldn't help but contemplate the worst possible scenarios.
Oblina's parents had always tried to change her. They wanted her to have different hobbies, different friends, different goals... what if they actually succeeded? Ickis could see Oblina now, returning to the Academy with an eerie grin plastered across her lips.
"Oblina, where's your luggage?" Ickis wondered.
"I don't need luggage, Ickis." Oblina replied.
Ickis frowned. There was something unsettling about Oblina's response. He expected her to dismiss most, if not ALL of his attempts at gallantry, but she didn't usually sound quite so impassive. He also didn't remember her moving so stiffly, or smelling faintly of exhaust (but he could get used to the scent.) "I guess Lugo's gonna drop your stuff off later, huh? You can borrow my Manual until then, it's not like I was reading it or anything." Ickis reasoned.
"I no longer require books to obtain data." Oblina stated dully.
Ickis' jaw dropped. "No way! You've always prided yourself on being a good student, the sort of monster who completes their homework EARLY, then does the extra credit! You don't jus' read the assigned chapters, you also cross-reference everything! Why would you stop doing that?!" Ickis demanded.
Oblina's eyes flashed dangerously. "I am not programmed to fulfill that task." she intoned.
"What does that even mean?!" Ickis shrieked. "Oblina, you're not making sense!" He grabbed onto Oblina's arm, only to have the skin peel back and reveal a metallic base.
"The Oblina unit was obsolete. This unit will be refered to as the O-1000 model and will serve as a replacement." Oblina corrected.
"You're a robot?!" Ickis gasped.
"Not a robot, a cyborg- cybernetic organism." Oblina recited.
"Aaaaah!" Ickis woke up screaming.
Krumm sighed and rolled over. Maybe it was time to start looking for a new dorm again.
Unlike most monsters, Krumm found it difficult to stay mad at anyone. Ickis hadn't -meant- to be a bother, and as far as freak-outs went, 'Robo Monster' was a fairly mild delusion. This was nothing compared to the Cuddles the Bear fiasco! Krumm was confident that Ickis would calm down soon enough. "C'mon, Ickis. You can't mope all day. You'll miss breakfast." Krumm pointed out.
"Who could eat at a time like this?" Ickis wondered.
"I could!" Krumm answered cheerfully. "And I bet if you thought about it, you'd be hungry too. I heard they were gonna serve machinery today. We should hurry to the cafeteria, before they run out of engine blocks." he added.
"You go ahead. I'll feed off my negativity." Ickis claimed.
"I don't think it works like that." Krumm disagreed.
"It's more efficient my way. I have my own combustion cycle." Ickis maintained.
"Yeah, that's why everyone warns you to make better choices. Oblina's not gonna be happy if she hears you were skipping meals again." Krumm reasoned.
"That's assuming she still HAS emotions." Ickis argued.
"Oblina's a girl, they never -stop- having emotions." Krumm replied.
"Really? What makes YOU such an expert on them?" Ickis pestered.
Krumm's eyes darted back and forth. "Oh, y'know... I see things, I pick up on stuff. You can't always figure out what they want right away, but they'll hint at it until you guess." Krumm mumbled.
"But what if you guess wrong?" worried Ickis.
"That depends. How good are you at coping with humiliation?" Krumm asked.
"If by coping you mean 'curling up in a ball and sobbing hysterically' then yes, I'm VERY good at coping." Ickis replied.
"At least you've got a system in place." Krumm acknowledged.
Zimbo smirked as he zoomed in front of his classmates. "And what good is a system if you don't test it out, hmm?" Zimbo hissed.
Ickis rolled his eyes. "Wow, what a concept. Zimbo is offering ME advice. Oh, he couldn't -possibly- have an ulterior motive." Ickis muttered.
"Go ahead and joke, Ickis. You won't be laughing when you hear the bad news... but if you don't WANT to hear from Zimbo, then Zimbo will not -force- you to listen. Hasta la vista, my little purple friend." Zimbo scoffed and started to fly away.
"I'm not little an' I'm not his friend." Ickis spat.
"You are kind of purple, though." remarked Krumm.
"So what, jus' cause Zimbo's right about one thing, you think maybe we should listen to him?" Ickis demanded.
"I think we should get breakfast first." Krumm decided. "Everything looks better on a full stomach."
Ickis nodded. "Yeah, that's what my Dad always says." he concurred.
Zimbo circled back towards the two friends. "And a good monster would -always- listen to their father, yes?" Zimbo sneered.
"Yes, but what would you know about it? You're -hardly- a good monster." Ickis snapped.
"Oblina is a VERY good girl." Zimbo whispered.
Ickis bared his fangs. "If you even -think- about making fun of her, I'll tear you to pieces." Ickis threatened.
Zimbo chuckled. "I would never make fun of someone who wasn't here." he claimed.
"Good thing Oblina's on vacation, then." Krumm mused.
"Yes. No doubt you are already getting used to her absence. Give it a year- maybe two- and you will hardly even miss her." Zimbo predicted.
Ickis looked shocked. "Wh-whaddya mean?" stammered Ickis.
"Is it not obvious?" Zimbo paused, relishing the anguish on the loomer's face. "Oblina's parents do not want her back for a weekend, they want her back for all time." declared Zimbo.
Ickis wrung his paws in desperation. "B-but she would never agree to that!" Ickis whined.
"Perhaps some small- tiny, miniscule really- part of her WOULD regret leaving the Academy..." Zimbo conceded. "But such petty, little concerns are NOTHING compared to her family obligations. Oblina has made her choice and a -true- friend would not begrudge her that freedom."
"What freedom?! They're making her leave!" Ickis shrieked.
"I- I didn't think they're really go through with that." Krumm admitted sadly. "Sure they talked about it alot before, but then they changed their minds..."
"Some monsters never change. Or they quickly change and then quickly change back." Zimbo concluded.
"That's horrible." Ickis squeaked.
"That's life." Zimbo retorted. "Now if you are done wasting Zimbo's time, Zimbo will be having his breakfast." he announced.
"And Ickis will be having his breakdown." Krumm observed.
"Waaaah! This is the worst thing that's ever happened to us!" Ickis sobbed miserably. Krumm couldn't help but agree.
It didn't take long for the rumor to spread. All throughout the Academy, monsters were discussing Oblina's fate.
"Do you think they'll home school Oblina? Her family has alot of toenails, right? I'm sure they could hire a tutor." Smeldra theorized.
Hairyette squirmed uncomfortably. "It's -their- decision to pull her out of school in the first place, I doubt they care THAT much about her education." Hairyette stated. "Parents are strict. They just want you to do whatever they say, and when you don't obey, your favorite things are taken away. Simple as that."
"Not for me. I just pout until my parents back down, I -never- fail to get what I want." Horrifica maintained.
"Oblina's not the type to pout, though." Dizzle commented.
"And tantrums don't work for everyone. I mean, look at Ickis-" Smeldra began.
"Why would I want to? He's a total gweeb." Horrifica judged.
"Yes, but he was really sad. I don't think Ickis has done anything but cry since he found out she was leaving." Smeldra explained.
"I'm sure. The stupid clod must've convinced himself he stood a chance with her. Can you imagine Ickis and Oblina together?" Horrifica laughed.
"They seemed like they were friends at any rate." Smeldra remarked.
"My mother says pity can often lead to friendships, but a girl shouldn't -seriously- date anyone unless she's sure about her feelings." Dizzle recalled.
"I can't take any boy seriously who would think lobsters were little bonstys who needed rescuing." Hairyette drawled.
"At least he brought them back to their proper home." Smeldra recalled.
"And now Oblina's going back to hers." Horrifica added.
"I'll miss having her around." Dizzle confessed. "Oblina could be very hebopply when she put her mind to it."
"Oh, and how often was that? All Oblina used to think about was school, and scares, and stopping the boys from doing something stupid." Horrifica responded.
"Not alot of luck with that last one." Hairryette noted.
"I still think it's a shame she had to drop out, she was the Gromble's best student." Smeldra chattered.
"I wonder how the Gromble is taking the news." Dizzle mused. She paused outside the Gromble's office and gestured for her friends to listen. Even with the door closed, they could hear the Headmaster sob.
"No, no, no! -Everything- is RUINED! Ruined forever!" the Gromble moaned.
The girls exchanged nervous glances. "...I don't think he's handling it well." Hairyette murmured.
Over in the dormitory, Ickis and Krumm weren't faring much better.
"Waaahhaaaahhhaaaaahhhh!" Ickis continued to wail.
"How do you do that for half an hour without taking a breath?" Krumm wondered.
Ickis held up a paw, counted down four more seconds, then gasped. "Eee-huhhh. I filled my air sac up yesterday, before we said g'bye to Oblina. I figured I might need it." answered Ickis.
"But isn't that air s'posed to be used for emergencies?" Krumm asked.
"Whaddya think this is, a picnic?" Ickis snapped.
"Picnics have better food. There's always lots of bugs to crunch." Krumm replied.
"I know that!" Ickis snarled.
"Oblina would always share the horse flies with me. She was nice like that." Krumm added softly.
Ickis looked away. "I know that, too. I used to be kinda... jealous." Ickis mumbled.
"I thought you didn't like horse flies." Krumm pointed out.
"I don't, they're too bitter." Ickis complained.
"Then why do you care if Oblina and I eat them?" Krumm questioned.
"Because you an' her- you guys pair up, an' you do stuff like, like a couple." Ickis moaned.
"You mean, like a couple of friends, right?" Krumm clarified. "Because that's what Oblina is to me, a good friend."
"But you went on dates!" Ickis protested.
"Maybe one or two. It's kinda hard to tell with girls, what's a date and what's not." Krumm admitted. "But it's easier to just be friends with girls. Then you don't have to think so much."
"If I was dating some girl, I'd think about her all'a time." Ickis professed.
"You already do that with Oblina." Krumm noted.
Ickis blushed. "N-no I don't!" Ickis stammered.
"Sure you do. Except for -actually- dating her, you do everything else a boyfriend WOULD do for Oblina." Krumm reasoned. "You guys argue, but you always make up afterwards. You worry about Oblina, and you tell her nice things when she's sad. You talk about her -constantly- and you're the first to defend her, even when she's not around. It's pretty obvious you're squishing on her." Krumm concluded.
"Well, it's not obvious to her!" Ickis huffed. "I've never even TOLD Oblina that!"
"Oh. I thought you would have mentioned it by now, it's not like you didn't have plenty of opportunities to talk to her." Krumm stated.
"Arrrgh! Why do think I'm so miserable?" Ickis cried.
"It's your standard reaction to everything." Krumm supplied.
Ickis buried his face in his paws and wept.
Lugo hesitated before handing Oblina her suitcase. "Are you sure you're not over reacting, Miz Oblina?" Lugo inquired.
"Quite sure. Mumsy may be entitled to HER opinions, but I do not have to listen to her disparage MY chosen career. Does she not realize that if it weren't for scarers, monsters would not even exist?!" Oblina huffed.
"There is a difference between what one recognizes as truth, and what one is willing to admit, Miz Oblina." Lugo reminded her.
Oblina scowled. "That's ridiculous. An intelligent monster should NOT spend their lives refusing to face facts." Oblina snapped.
Lugo nodded sagely. "There-in lies the problem." he remarked.
Oblina smiled at her butler. "Thank you, Lugo. You've been most helpful." she acknowledged.
"You're welcome, Miz Oblina. Will you be taking the sewers back to the Academy now?" Lugo inquired.
"Yes. If I hurry, I can still make it back there before curfew." Oblina determined.
"Splendid. I made sure to pack your Monster Manual in the weather resistant pouch so it could travel securely. I daresay you'll want to peruse it tonight." Lugo predicted.
"I might read a chapter a two, after I've talked with Icky and Krummy." she paused. "I just hope they haven't done anything foolish while I was away. You wouldn't -believe- the kind of mischief boys can get into when left to their own devices." Oblina added.
"Miz Oblina, I have seen your friends try to construct a grappling hook out of a chandelier, because it 'seemed like a good idea at the time'." Lugo recalled.
Oblina bit her lip. "I should go NOW." she decided.
"What are we gonna DO, Krumm? I don't -want- Oblina to go away forever, I can barely make it through a day without her!" Ickis sobbed.
"Yeah, I noticed." Krumm muttered.
Ickis glared at him. "If you're so clever, how come you haven't thought of a way to fix this?" Ickis demanded.
"I thought about therapy, but that doesn't seem to work for you." Krumm pointed out.
"I don't need a therapist to tell me what my problems are!" Ickis spat.
"Okay. Then I guess the only thing left is for you to talk to Oblina, let her know how you feel." advised Krumm.
Ickis gulped. "Will that make any difference?" he asked nervously.
"I don't know, but it'd give me a chance to mop up the dorm. If you keep crying at this rate, you're gonna start a flood in here." Krumm replied.
Ickis folded his arms crossly. "So what? I can jus' build an arc out of garbage, I've done it before." Ickis grumbled.
Krumm looked around the damp living space and sighed. "You're gonna need a bigger boat." he determined.
Zimbo smirked, having just completed another patrol of the Academy. "Another job well done." Zimbo gloated.
The Snorch looked up at him, perplexed.
"Oh, I know there were no -official- punishments today." Zimbo continued. "But there was suffering, Zimbo made sure of THAT."
The Snorch growled, demanding an explanation.
"Hmmph. It was not entirely my doing. They brought it upon themselves, the way they fuss over Oblina. Who cares about that smarmy show-off anyway? We would all be better off if she WAS leaving." Zimbo groused.
The Snorch bellowed in rage. He tried to grab Zimbo, but the smaller monster fluttered just outside of his reach.
"Why are you angry with ME? I didn't lie, I merely made a statement that was... open to interpretation. Zimbo cannot help it if other monsters jump to conclusions." Zimbo argued defensively.
The Snorch roared again, louder than before.
"Apologize? Why should Zimbo apologize? It was only a joke, a bit of fun. I have not harmed anyone." Zimbo maintained.
With a growl, the Snorch began rummaging through his torture supplies until he found a flyswatter and used it to knock Zimbo to the ground.
"Ow! Stop it, you're hurting me!" Zimbo cried.
Oblina paused as she wiped a bit of grime off her arms. For a second, she thought she'd heard someone cry out, but it didn't sound like Ickis, so she dismissed it as background noise. Perhaps it was nothing more than a rat, squeaking in the distance. It was good to be back in the Academy, surrounded by familiar voices.
"Yaaah! Oblina, what are YOU doing here?" Horrifica asked in disbelief.
Gludge rolled his eyes. "So much for privacy." he muttered.
Well, maybe familiar wasn't necessarily good. "I know I'm returning a little earlier than I said I would, but there's no reason to be rude about it." Oblina replied.
"You're the one who's rude! Dropping out of school, without any warning at all!" Horrifica retorted.
"Not to mention barging in on dates." Gludge added.
"I would never!" gasped Oblina.
"That's what they all say." Gludge sneered.
Horrifica elbowed him to be quiet. "There's no point in pretending, Oblina. We've ALL heard about it." she proclaimed.
"I haven't!" Oblina snapped.
"Then you're the only one. My roommates wouldn't shut up about it, so I decided to spend the evening with Gludge, since I knew HE wouldn't care." Horrifica explained.
"That's right. If it was really important, it would be about me." Gludge maintained.
"Charming." Oblina's remark was dripping with sarcasm.
"At least he's honest about who he is!" Horrifica huffed. "You act like you're the perfect student, bragging about how you're going to scare professionally someday, but then you go running back to your parent's mansion the first chance you get!"
"All I did was have a -brief- visit with my family. Last time I checked, students were ALLOWED to go home on weekends, or on holidays so long as we cleared it with the Gromble." Oblina insisted.
"I'm surprised he agreed to it. Did you forget to mention that part where you become a drop out?" Horrifica sneered.
Oblina was incredulous. "Drop out?" she repeated.
"Duh. That's what they call it when someone leaves school forever." Horrifica stated matter-of-factly.
"I am not-" Oblina started to protest.
"OBLINA!" Ickis ran up to her, panting heavily.
"Ickis, we're not s'posed to run in the halls." Oblina scolded him automatically.
"I know. But I didn't know if I had time, an' Krumm told me I should talk to you cause it's important an' I..." Ickis paused, having just realized that Horrifica and Gludge were staring at him. "...I didn't think anyone else would be here for this." he noted with surprise.
Horrifica scowled. "Ickis, we're in a boarding school. You can hardly go -anywhere- without bumping into another student." Horrifica complained.
"Or a teacher." the Gromble added as he strode into view.
"S-sir! I didn't see you there." Horrifica stammered.
"It must be hard to see anyone when you're -nuzzling- your boyfriend!" the Gromble snapped.
"He would know." Gludge whispered.
The Gromble's eyes narrowed. "Horrifica! Gludge! Both of you WILL be punished for this! Gludge, -you're- going to fill up the septic tank tomorrow, and Horrifica will be put through the trash compactor!" the Gromble yelled.
"Blugh. Not the trash compactor!" Horrifica whined.
"I can always put you on cafeteria duty." the Gromble threatened.
"No, no. The trash compactor's fine." Horrifica insisted.
"I'm sooo glad you approve. Now GET LOST!" the Gromble boomed.
Horrifica and Gludge scurried away, while Oblina and Ickis nervously awaited their punishments.
The Gromble turned to Ickis and Oblina. "As for you two..." the Gromble began.
Ickis straightened up to his full height, which without looming first wasn't all that impressive. "I- I know I'm breaking curfew and you can punish me all you want, sir. But tonight I'm -going- to be with Oblina!" Ickis asserted.
"Of course, Icky. We do share a dorm, after all." Oblina stated.
Ickis' ears pricked up. "We do?" Ickis questioned.
"Absolutely. I'm sorry if you heard otherwise, but that was only a rumor. I have no intention of leaving this Academy without my diploma." Oblina declared.
"Oh, thank sludge!" the Gromble exclaimed. He shook Oblina's paw vigorously. "Oblina, you have no idea how much we would have MISSED you. It is so good to have you back!" the Gromble gushed.
"Thank you sir. Er, I'd like to get back to my dorm now, if you could just let go of my arm?" Oblina suggested hopefully.
"Yes, of course." the Grombly hastily withdrew. "You shouldn't linger in the halls anyway. I can't stand LOITERING! Move it!" the Gromble shrieked.
Ickis and Oblina wasted no time in obeying. They don't slow down until after they had turned the corridor, and Ickis had breathed a sigh of relief.
"Glad that's over with." Ickis mumbled.
"But Ickis, didn't you have something you wanted to tell me?" Oblina inquired sweetly.
Ickis stopped walking abruptly. "Oh tha~at!" Ickis squeaked, his voice rising in pitch on the final syllable. He glanced around as if ensuring that they were alone and took a deep breath. "The thing is I- I really, um- I think it'll keep." Ickis finally stammered.
Oblina smiled. "I think so, too." she agreed.
~~~The End.
Author's Note: Many thanks for everyone who showed patience during my writing hiatus, especially Linny who helped inspire this premise. I'm very grateful to this fandom and all the wonderful memories associated with the Nickelodeon monsters.