Author's notes: Hey, here's the one-shot I promised Hese Solstis, a challenge fic about desperation. I hope you like this guys, this is the just like the second or third time I have written something about angst/despair. Soooo. I hope you'd appreciate this. Read and review. :))
Summary: He said it once when she disappeared right in front of him. Now her turn comes, and there's no way she could prevent it. For Hese Solstis, themed on desperation. Inspired by Ichigo's poem on volume 49. Warning: implied character deaths.
Ichigo's poem on Volume 49:
僕はついてゆけるだろうか 君のいない世界のスピードに
I wonder if I can keep up with it...the speed of a world where you don't exist...
Next Life by dominusalthus
She raised her shaking hands, trying to hold her sword in front of her while the red liquid trickled down from her forehead down to her chin. The handle of Sode no Shirayuki, which was once pure and uncorrupted white, is now stained with her own blood.
Rukia Kuchiki was running out of life, and it was happening rapidly—faster than what she thought her death could be.
They were attacked yet again, which was no surprise. Being a shinigami is like a double-edged katana: they save lives, even though their lives are constantly put in danger. However, this time is more severe, non-pre-empted, more savage. It's like fighting the Winter War yet again, but ten times more the suffering, ten times more the deaths and separation. It was the Spirit King—the King of Soul Society—that betrayed his kin, annihilating them one by one in search of a new era.
And soon, she will be another victim of the murderer that was war, a remnant, a living scar of the aftermath, a speck of dust among the ashes… Victory was claimed by Seretei, but too any scapegoats were foregone before it was even at sight.
She kept on walking, she cannot die alone. She believed that you must entrust your heart to someone else so that you'd live on… And she cannot die here, because she must let him die alone…
"No… I can't… I'm... almost there." Rukia said, forcing herself to walk towards her target. It wasn't an enemy though—what she was inching towards to was a frail spark of reiatsu, slowly winding down to oblivion. It was the only spark that had meaning to her: the others have died out without any signs of reappearing. It was pure luck that she could still stand, given that she was never one of the strongest, even though she now had achieved the highest level of the shinigami learning…
She could not clear her mind of the images that were being constantly flashed, distorting her reality, clouding her eyes with tears.
The mighty clan leader, Kuchiki Byakuya, was lying on the floor with his eyes opened, spread like an eagle. Instead of the authoritative, strong, and deep eyes, he had now an empty stare, staring towards the skies, gazing to eternity. Once again, he sacrificed, put his life on the line, just to fulfill his oath with his wife Hisana. It's only a matter of time now that he'll meet her, when he'll fade and become part of the fabric of the universe itself.
Other faces, important people to her, that had the same fate were a blur—Inoue Orihime, Yasutora Sado, Yachiru Kosajishi, Kurotsuchi Nemu, Abarai Renji, Kurosaki Isshin… the list keeps on growing. Even the strongest ones—Hitsugaya Toushiro, Soi Fon… even her kind-hearted, father-like captain Ukitake Jyuushiro—all were not exceptions.
Even Kurosaki Ichigo, or for a few moments more, he will be.
A few more steps… and she finally saw it. Kurosaki Ichigo was breathing heavily, his shikahusho damaged and torn, his life slowly escaping out of him. Hero, yes he was, as he defeated the Spirit King, the strongest yet again. And hero, he will die from the final curse inflicted to him by the opponent, a curse that is bound to be unbroken and inevitable.
"Ichigo…" She kneeled quietly by his side, quite in denial of the fact that was in front of her. "Ichigo… I'm here."
"H-hey mid…get…" He forced himself to smile despite of his condition as he raised his hand to catch tears streaming down her face.
"Y-you look…s-stupid…"
"You arrogant fool…" She grabbed his hand and took it near her heart, close enough to make him feel what she should've said a long time ago, what she should've told him even before this thing happened, what she would've uttered but it looks like he wouldn't hear it anymore.
"Don't die on me…"
Her pleading eyes met his—Ichigo's were somewhat peaceful, accommodating… He tried to speak again, but this time, blood spluttered from his mouth.
"…R-ruki…a… I…" His other hand clasped on hers, forming a union, symbolical, that ought to be for eternity. His skin against hers was warm, even though the cold was starting to spread from his heart.
He knew it, he was well aware of it. He was already at peace; he already accepted the coming of his death, but then she came and messed it up for him. Now, something inside of him pushes him to live, giving him false hope of survival, giving him a glimpse of a future he would never have.
It was true that when you know your death will come, faces of the most important people would flash on your mind, the events, the person that's truly making your heart beat… And he saw flashes of his family, school friends, Inoue, Ishida, Sado… all the people he's encountered during his lifetime… and the saddest part of it: Rukia. Now Ichigo's heart was shattered, and it pains him. It pains him so much to be touching what's in store for him if his existence persists, but he knew it was over. Even if he says his love, it would only hurt her more, leave her with a bigger scar in her heart.
"I'm…s-sorry…" He finally said it, tears also forming on his eyes. It his apology, for putting her through so much trouble, for saving his life more than twice, for being a pain in the ass… for taking her for granted… For denying that she mattered to him the first time she vanished. For realizing only now how much she meant to him. For saying this now…
"Y-you are… the most… important person to my life…Rukia…" Ichigo's grip tightened, clinging for additional time. Please just a little more… he thought.
"Don't speak… please…" She lifted his head and placed it on her lap, their eyes still reading each other's depth. A part of her is furious that Squad 4 is never around when you need them, a part of her was just plain… empty.
"Just… don't die… We'll get help…"
"N-no… I'll d-die." Ichigo was feeling it. "But l-live for me, Rukia… P-promise me… that y-you'll never… forget me… T-tell my story… Tell our s-story."
She tried to speak but no voice came out, only waves of sadness. Rukia just nodded and bit her lip.
"G-good." He smiled yet again. "If… I'm given another life… I'd stay… with you. R-rukia… we will s-surely meet a-again… but my h-heart… is with you. Always."
I am at peace… Kurosaki Ichigo, the boy, the man, that altered the fate of the Soul Society and even the world, slowly closed his eyes, his free hand falling out of grasp, his body slowly disintegrating with the wind.
And she, Kuchiki Rukia, froze, as he entirely blended with the surrounding, his spirit particles seeming to embrace her. She couldn't do anything but cry, and regret of the time that they both wasted. But deep in her heart, she kept her promise, she has to live on, she has to live for him.
And she will wait. She will take care of his heart until that fateful day comes. Until their lives collide once more, until they're both reborn.
Who knows… life will be easier for them once that happens. No wars, no hardships… just pure love. And then, just then, they will have the chance to say it to each other without regret…
I love you…
The end.
Finished! I'm sorry for all the character deaths.
I dunno where I got this idea, but I was thinking that of course, all of them will die because of their duties. Also, I read in this particular forum that the Spirit King might be unfair, and everything, considering that the whole series practically revolves around him but he was never shown. And what happens when the Spirit King reign is passed on to an evil one? What if SS goes to war with much powerful beings? Of course, KT would never show them, I assume, but I am sure that there will come a time that they will have to do this all-out war and many lives would be wasted.
Anyway, Hese Solstis, this is for you, so I hope you liked it, for others, read and review! :)