"Target acquired." This was followed by a 'Thudda, thudda' sound.
"Target acquired." *Thudda thudda*
"I can't see a thing, better open fire!" *clickclick click clickclick* "Yeheeaaah!"
The turret assembly line progressed, carrying recently assembled turrets past a test fire range to the control room where a machine was filtering the turrets. It used a working turret as a template and would scan both turrets, checking to see if they were functional. If they weren't, they were launched through the air into an incinerator chute.
For a defective turret heading down the line, this was was a nerve wracking experience, if turrets could experience that sort of emotion. It had heard from one of the 'not defective' turrets that it was going to be sent to the redemption line as soon as the machine scanned him. The turrets told him that after he had asked the working turret sitting on the platform ahead of him if he was going to get some eyes at some point.
They must've heard it from those turrets sitting around on ledges that the assembly line would pass. Those turrets don't know anything, he thought. Obviously sitting on those ledges for so long had rusted their processors. This thought gave the defective turret a small amount of comfort, so he continued to imagine other reasons why the ledge turrets knew nothing and that the 'normal turrets' were just as dumb for believing all their little stories. He wasn't worried about the redemption line, there was no way he was defective, just watch, he'd fill that test dummy full of bullets when it was his turn.
The confidence that the defective turret had built up during his ride had vanished at the test fire range. The moment he got there he readied his guns waited for the platform to to stop and...
*Click clickclickclick click* "Aww come on, what's a guy gotta do to get some bullets around here!"
Not a single bullet was fired; he knew he was doomed now. There was no way his processors could think of that would convince the scanner machine up ahead that he was a 'normal turret.' ...wait, what if he imitated the squeaky voices that those other turrets had? It was foolproof! That machine won't know what hit it. The turret let out a small chuckle as he came closer to the machine. He could hear them now, the squeaky voice of that annoying template turret, the scanning machine's voice and the turrets being judged.
"Template"
"Hello"
"Response"
"Hello"
"Template"
"Hello"
"Response"
"Where do I...get my gun? YOU CAN'T FIRE ME I QUIIIIIIIT!"
All too soon, it was his turn. He was glad he couldn't shake, otherwise the machine would have seen how scared he was. Better put on a brave face, the turret thought. Can't let that template or the other turrets around me think I'm a coward.
"Response"
Alright, big moment. "Yea I'm uh, I'm a bad man." The camera flashed red and he was suddenly launched into the air, all he could do was hurriedly cry out "AW, COME ON."
Suddenly, he stopped; he was saved. Something was holding him up.
"Thanks pal, you saved my bacon!" Obviously he was going to thank who or whatever had saved him. He felt himself moving and couldn't help but wonder aloud "So uhhh, where are we going?" No response. Well, at least he was hurtling towards a fiery doom.
He heard some rambling from an unfamiliar robot after a moment of movement but quickly tuned it out, wondering whatever his fate was now.
Whatever it was took him and set him down...somewhere safe, he hoped. He would've jumped out of his shell the moment he heard "template" and the scanner going over his body if it was physically possible. Thinking fast he imitated that turret from earlier and said; "hello!" "Response" "hello. I don't understaaaand!" Wait. Was that one of those normal turrets? "Hehehehe." Who's defective now? He figured out where he was; something had decided that he, out of all the possible turrets, was to be the new template turret.
His processors filled up with what could be described as joy as another 'normal turret' was thrown away as defective while one of his supposedly defective brethren was allowed to continue on. He was the new model, and he was going to stay. Those smart-aleck turrets had this coming for a long time, and his newfound position followed him to give them what he thought they deserved and kept a cushy job the same time. He laughed what could only be describe as an evil laugh as another now 'defective' turret was sent to the incinerator.
Thank you to Marie9 for betaing this. Also, quick heads up, I am still alive.