Disclaimer: I don't own Hetalia, the characters of aforementioned series, or any of Poland or Lithuania. These fictionalizations bear no resemblance to the real nations of Poland and Lithuania, so please don't get, like, totally offended and stuff. For the ponies. - S

Dear Lithuania,

Like...

Isn't it, like, time you moved out anyway?

So it's not like I'm going to cry that you're leaving me by your own doing this time.

It's not like it bothers me that you're off to bigger things.

I helped you out when you needed me, and now you don't need me anymore.

It's only natural that you go.

But…

Now whose face am I going to laugh at?

Who can I bully and tease and push around now?

It totally isn't fair.

Like, what did I do that pushed you away?

Was it the ponies?

Is it 'cause they're totally cuter than you, Liet?

Don't be jealous of their cuteness, Liet.

It's childish to run from their adorableness.

So come home.

I'm not getting rid of them though, because you're being immature.

With Love,

Poland.

P.S. If you don't come back and I find out you ran off with a stranger I will totally never talk to you again. Seriously.

Lithuania stared at the piece of paper in disbelief. He could hardly comprehend what an idiot his best friend was. He sighed ruefully, but ended up chuckling.

Of course he wasn't going back.

After the collapse of the Soviet Union, Lithuania was officially free… and strong enough to take care of himself. Poland knew that.

But it was fun pretending that he still had the option.

He picked up a thin black pen and scratched the paper to see if it had ink. Retrieving a blank piece, he began his response to the person in question, still not quite sure exactly what he should say.

Dear Poland,

Yes.

It's all because of your ponies.

Can't you laugh at their faces instead of mine?

You're always so cruel to me.

And who said anything about crying?

You miss me, don't you?

Oh also, the real reason I'm not coming back home is because I'm my own country now.

I kind of have to learn to be independent.

If I keep relying on you, then I'll just be Poland with another name.

And you understand why I can't just do that, yeah?

So stop missing me and go get a job or a girlfriend or something.

Your friend,

Lithuania

P.S. Please don't take that last line offensively! I take it back!

Dear Liet,

You now have zero best friend points.

With Love,

Poland

Dear Poland,

EH?

Your friend, Lithuania

Dear Liet,

Yup. Now Switzerland is my new best friend.

With love, Poland

Dear Poland,

What? Switzerland can't possibly be your best friend! He's too neutral towards everyone! The only person he's favorable towards is Liechtenstein! Don't include others in this to make up for the fact that you have no friends besides Italy and me! Why am I not your best friend anymore anyway?

Your friend, maybe,

Lithuania

Dear Liet,

If you keep protesting, I'll, like, enforce Poland Rule and your capital will become Warsaw.

With Love,

Poland

Dear Poland,

You are the one who wrote me a letter and told me to come back, but now you're going to make my capital Warsaw anyway?

You're truly awful!

What's with the cheap trick rules anyway?

Hmph.

Liet

Dear Liet,

Stop whining.

You'll be fine.

I'm coming over tomorrow to help you build your own house, kay?

I don't, like, think that it would like, be easy to build your house right after breaking up with Russia or whatever.

Do widzenia,

Poland

P.S. The ponies will, like, totally miss you, no matter what I said.

And come visit sometimes for the ponies.

Like, they're totally lonely without you!

La fin

A/N:

Bon matin, mes amis.

I was bored and wanted to have a little fun on the part of Poland. I always got Poland, better than all the countries/characters. The relationship between him and Liet is just like my relationships with my friends!

Of course, you know. Without all of the yaoi pairing stuff.

[And yes. I know. I'm lazy. Where's the next chapter of Forevermore I promised a month ago? I have no excuses… sigh.]

Perhaps I'll do more Axis Powers, but most likely not because I fail to see the characters as more than stereotypical, dysfunctional personalities commonly attributed to their country. And it's absolutely hilarious. :] I'm just saying I have no inclination to believe in a pairing, (besides Italy/Germany kind of) or to think Prussia is awesome. Seriously. But this is getting to be just as long, if not longer than the fic!

Pay no mind to my rambling and check out my other stuff! Ciao!

-Sam

/EDIT: WOOT FF for screwing up the formatting. Had to make it readable again.