Summary: Guess what Kiba got for his birthday?

Pairing: Talks about Kiba/Shikamaru, but doesn't really have much to do with couples, I think.

Rating: T, but maybe higher since it mentions a few sexual terms and contains mentions of yaoi and sex and an oh-so-desperate Shikamaru.

Author's Notes: This was actually meant to be a flashback in my Make Your Move shogi story about Shikamaru and Neji, but as I was re-reading it before posting I decided that my plotline was too generic and that there were too many others like it- so I changed it up a bit and ended up cutting out the second half of the story and starting over again.

500 words exactly without title or all this junk- isn't that amazingly strange? I swear, I did nothing to it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto in any way other than owning discs 7-14; but I doubt that counts (darn). If I did, Neji x Shikamaru, Shino x Kiba, Lee x Sakura, Naruto x Hinata, and Kakashi x Iruka would be the ruling couples- in that order (haha, sorry Kakashi-sensei and Iruka-sense).

Kiba's Birthday Present

"What!?" Naruto shouted, nearly loud enough for all of Konoha to hear, and definitely louder than Neji's sensitive ears needed. "You got what last night!?"

"Laid," Kiba drawled confidently, crossing his arms over his chest. Neji watched from a tree as Naruto's mouth hit the ground, completely shocked. Neji narrowed them as he speculated who; un-admittedly jealous that Kiba had taken someone to bed before him.

"H-how! Who?!" Naruto questioned, eager to know the details. "What was it like?"

Kiba scowled at the teen. "Don't tell me you've never been laid, Naruto." Naruto blushed and mumbled some stuff, twiddling his thumbs. Kiba burst out laughing, thrusting an arm over Naruto's shoulders companionably. Naruto blushed a furious shade of red.

"I'll tell you all about it, Naruto," Kiba said, smirking. "Yesterday was my birthday, see? Shikamaru, being his usually lazy-ass self, didn't get me a present. I told him it was fine, but he'd have to do one tiny little favor for me and he jumped at the opportunity not to buy a present-"

"What does this have to do with you getting laid?" Naruto grumbled, wanting to get to the juicy part. Kiba hit him over the head.

"I'm getting there, you numbskull!" he shouted. Naruto pouted and shut up, allowing Kiba to walk him in circles as he told the story. "Right, as I was saying, Shikamaru was really excited that he didn't have to get me a present. Ah! But you should have seen his face when I told him what my favor was. He nearly ran away, actually. But in any case, I told him Hinata turned me down a week ago and I needed a bit of a pick-me-up, neh?"

"Okay..." Naruto said, trying to seem like he understood. Kiba sighed frustratedly.

"Baka! I told him I needed a good lay!" Kiba said, grinding his fist into Naruto's blond hair.

"Itai, itai itai!" Naruto yelped, wriggling in Kiba's strong grasp. Kiba laughed.

"Yeah, so, now for the good stuff," he continued, still giving Naruto a nuggie to kill, "I never would have guessed Shikamaru was so good at blow jobs, or I would have asked him for one sooner!-"

"Wait! You did Shikamaru!?!?" Naruto exclaimed, eyes turning into discs, suddenly seeming uncomfortable at such close quarters with Kiba, who apparently swung both ways now. Kiba rolled his eyes, nodding.

"Yes, I did Shikamaru, and he was a damn good fuck, too!" he said, defending himself. "Anyways! Do you want me to finish or not?"

"Kiba!" a desperate Shikamaru appeared and jumped on Kiba's back, clamping a hand over the dog-lover's mouth. Shikamaru's eyes were wide with shock. "I told you not to tell anyone!" Kiba laughed at this and Neji had left at that point, disgusted that Kiba had had the nerve to ask Hinata out and then bounce back from it with Shikamaru- a guy, no less.

It was just his luck that just a few weeks later he'd accidentally discovered he himself was gay.