A/N: What if Melinda got pregnant in high school and Jim never knew? Tom forced her to give the baby up and she never forgot about the little girl she held in her arms all those years ago. Set in 1995 when that little girl is all grown up. AU
The second the loud music from the club hit him, Daniel felt himself start to relax. He briefly closed his eyes and sighed. Even though the place smelled like sweat, sex, and smoke, he loved it here. It was him and his younger brother's little piece of heaven.
With a smile still playing on his lips, Danny opened his eyes and headed over to the bar. He placed an order for a double shot of whiskey and a vodka tonic, paid, then headed towards the back. The strip club had private rooms near the back where a guy could get a private lap dance, and other things if he paid enough to the right kind of girl
Daniel always came for the same girl. His girl. Crystal. That wasn't her real name, they'd come up with it so she'd be safe from other men. Crystal didn't do those other things, the things other girls gave so easily. He knew that much. He had been coaxing her for the past three months to try and get something more than just a dance to earn more money for them to have, but she never would. She didn't do that kind of thing, she'd say over and over again.
Now, Danny was lounging back in a lush chair that was covered in red velvet, waiting for her.
This was her private room.
It was dark and the walls were covered in the same red and purple velvet fabric that the chair was. There were flameless candles lit all around the room. Across from him was a small stage with a stripper pole that she never used with him.
He paid for the private visit, but never wanted to watch her dance on the pole. Instead, he always chose the lap dance. Anything to get her against him. He was always her last of the night, every night.
The door beside the stage opened and she stepped into the room with her usual smile. He found himself grinning as she shut the door, locking them both in. He sat up straight, whiskey in his right hand and vodka tonic in the other. His eyes flowed down her body with a familiar tightness growing in his pants.
"Well if it isn't my favorite client," she purred when she faced him again. "I've missed you."
"I got you a drink." He said softly.
"Do you like my outfit? It's new." She said, smoothing her hands down her sides. She took a sip of her drink as he held it to her mouth. "I've gotten lots of compliments."
Tonight she was wearing a light blue plaid skirt that barely covered her ass. A white, bikini type top covered her chest with straps that went around her toned stomach and tied tight against her back. Her hair was down and hung in curls over her shoulders. Her legs were bare, which he always preferred because he liked it when her bare skin touched him, even it was just through his clothes.
"Oh yeah, I love it." He smiled and she took the drink from him then after the little taste, downing it quickly. "So sexy."
"Good," she gasped. "Tonight has been a bad one. Do you have any blow on you? I'm craving..."
She came to stand right in front of him then, placing her hands on either side of the chair's arms. She leaned down so their faces were only inches apart. His eyes jetted down to her cleavage before returning to her face as he pulled out a tiny bag with the powder she asked for.
Her right hand found his stomach and started to walk her fingers up his body with each of her words, making his breath stop. When she reached his collarbone, she only let her index finger touch his skin. She slipped it up the center of his throat and under his chin. She brought her mouth to his, stopping just before she touched his lips. His eyes slammed shut as he forced himself to breathe. How this girl turned him on this bad by barely touching him with her body was beyond him.
This was why he kept coming back to her.
She took the bag out and smiled at white power. "New batch?" She asked, taking out a roll and cutting it with her fingernail. "Smell new."
"I always come through, right?" He smiled, leaning in to kiss her neck. "Lance said it's even better than the last one."
She leaned down and let it go into her system quickly by snorting it. It was like every nerve ending on her body was alert and on fire at the same tie. She let her finger rub under nose before going to sit on his lap.
"What do you want before we go home and break our new bed again, hmmm?" She sat on his lap eagerly, her confidence growing the more the coke egged her on.
His hands tighten, one of his cup and the other on his chair arm, to keep himself from touching her. She leaned forward, letting her breasts brush against his chest. That was something else he liked about her. She hadn't done what most of her coworkers had done. She was real, beautiful and all his.
His evil little partner in crime.
She leaned back so she was pressed against his chest and turned her face into his neck while her hips ground in such a slow motion that Danny thought he was going to come right then and there. The fiction of her ass against his erection felt so unbelievably good. Dry humping never felt so great. His head went back, his eyes shut and his mouth dropped open in a moan. She swirled her hips in time with the music. She blew a small amount air across his neck and made him shiver.
"Ah... fuck." He whispered. " You are..." His words trailed off as her hands came to his arms. "The hottest woman I've ever seen."
She ran them down him, letting her nails score his skin. His hands opened on reflex, sending his shot tumbling over the side of the chair and onto the carpet, its contents spilling out at once. Her hands came over his. His hands open and their fingers intertwined.
"Feel good, baby?" She whispered as she slowly ground against him.
His hips started to thrust without his brain telling them too. "You have no idea." He whispered.
"Good, that's how I want you to feel." Her words and breath sent chills through his system.
His tongue darted out and over his bottom lip, the tip trembling as his throat went dry. His hands tighten on her fingers and he thrust up hard.
She was so good, so smooth with the motion that he barely felt her lost of contact when she pulled away just enough to turn and straddle him again. She rubbed against him, hitting all his nerves at once. She started to slow her hip motions until she stopped altogether. He groaned and frowned with his eyes shut.
"Your mine," he groaned and pushed her down to the floor. "I want you."
"You lasted longer than I thought you would," she laughed. "Now come on... work off the tension from today. You know you want too."
"I always do, Katherine." He grinned.
"You know you can't use my name here," she answered. "Anyone could hear you..."
"I do what I want, you should know that by now." He groaned, nipping at her neck.
Daniel and Katherine walked out of the club together as the last of the effects of the drug were drowning on her. She had her winter jacket on, despite the time of year, and walked in his arms, tucked into his chest.
"Hungry?" He asked.
"Kind of," she yawned, shrugging. "I'm mostly tired. I think I need another line."
"Well I have something we need to do first," he said.
"What?" She sighed. "I just worked a ten-hour shift."
"I need to you help me take care of someone while I rob their stash. The usual baby," he quickly snorted some as they entered an apartment complex. "Here. To help with the long hours." There was a smidge of coke left on his finger and he pressed it to her nose, letting her take the last of it. "C'mon, take it."
"Okay," she answered and tucked herself into his chest as she snorted the bit of blow. It made her head all wobbly and she laughed before rubbing her nose. "Umm just a dance or something, right?"
"You're gonna need to do more than that to keep him occupied," he suggested, his hands in his pockets as he kissed her neck. "Maybe a blow? I'll be quick. I promise I'll make it up to you later baby."
"No! Daniel, you know I don't do that sort of thing and I won't let you make me. Not this," she answered, shaking her head. "I won't be your little whore to shove off on other while you rob them."
"Fine," he chuckled, shaking his head. "You've easily replaced Katie. I can get any girl to do your job. Go back to your lover boy. We both know he's waiting for you back outside the club by now. It's a Friday night."
She shoved him off her and turned around. "Fuck you, Dan. Fuck you." She sneered.
"Katie," he yelled at her just as she was about to turn around, grabbing her arm. "If you can't do this for me tonight, then deliver this," he held out a small brown package to her with a knowing smirk. "I love you, you know that, but it has to be done. Just take the package to Marci, that's it. Take it and don't let any cops or that boy of yours see you. Don't look shifty and dress nice, but not over the top."
"What happened to Todd? Doesn't he take it?" She asked.
"Baby, are you questioning me? Because if you are you can get the fuck out of my face right now." He warned her, his grip on her tightening. "Don't you love me?"
"Okay. Sorry... I'm sorry. I do love you. Just put it in my bag, alright" She unzipped her purse that was over her shoulder before walking back outside. She could see Ned from here, standing outside the club smoking what had to be his second cigarette.
He threw it and ran to her, tossing his arms around her in a tight hug. "Come home with me, please. Just give me one night," Ned begged and blew into his hands to warm them up. "My mom won't care and you can even sleep in my room."
"Just tonight," she said softly and rubbed her nose. "Only tonight. I have something to do in the morning."
"Again?" He asked, lifting her chin to find her eyes. Her pupils were huge, unable to focus on him and he sighed, reaching into his pocket to lift another cigarette to his mouth. "You told me you'd stop doing them damn drugs."
"You said you'd quit smoking last year," she sighed. "And how can I stay with you tonight? Your mom hates me, always has. She'll kick me out or call the cops the second she sees me, especially in this attire."
"My mom doesn't hate you. Not completely," he sighed, rubbing his chin. "She just doesn't agree with your life choices, but neither do I. There are too many times when I don't know if you're alive."
"I'm fine. I'm always fine," she replied, shaking her head at him. She had to reassure him of her safety. She really was okay. She could deal with a little yelling from Daniel every once and a while. He'd never really hurt her. "I really am Ned, it's better to be apart from my old self. I made a new name for myself and don't suffer as much anymore."
"Closing off your heart does not make you fine," he sighed before starting to cross the street with her. "They left another message for you. That's three this month. Shouldn't that prove they care about you?"
"I have closed off my heart because I can't deal with losing anyone else! Why don't you understand that?" She yelled, storming across the street and away from him.
"You ignored what I said again," he muttered, following her. She looked away as he stepped closer to her, trying to grab a hold of her hand. "You should really call them, Katie. They seemed pretty desperate to try and talk to you. I don't blame them for worrying about you."
"Don't call me that," she whispered. "Please."
"Why?" He asked.
"It reminds me of them," she muttered, shaking her head and wiping away her tears. "It reminds me of all the pain I felt when I was back there and of how you stopped loving me. That when I really knew I couldn't be myself anymore. I had to be someone new."
"They love you, even if you haven't talked to them since last year." He admitted, shaking his head at her. "Even after you ran off at sixteen and broke their hearts, they still understood why you left and love you, just as I do. I could never stop loving you, Katie."
"For how long? Everyone always leaves Ned, you and I both know that one day you'll grow tired of me and move on too." She replied. "My biological mother and father, whoever they are, even they couldn't keep me. They couldn't love me enough to be my parents! What makes you think we'll be any different?"
"You don't even know what happened with your parents," he pleaded. "You should find out though. I've been telling you that for years, but you just gave up. Even after I found that lead."
"They gave up full parental rights the day I was born. What else is there to know?" She cried and walked away, trying to be anywhere but around Ned at this very moment. "It just gets better when the woman that adopted me died when I was four and the dad put me in foster care. I jumped around from home to home until I was nine. I went to a few good homes, but mostly bad and then my social worker and her husband adopted me. It was pretty great at first, but when they had a kid a few years later everything changed. They say it didn't and tried to make things better, but it didn't change anything. It was all about that little boy from the second he was born. I was second best and Liam knew it. He rubbed it in my face the second he could speak in sentences." She explained, finally stopping and letting him hug her, her tears taking over, but she eventually pushed through. "So there you go, there's my life story Ned. I've never been loved by anyone and that's never going to change."
"Katie," he whispered into her neck, rubbing her side. "I love you."
"For now," she replied, shaking her head. "How long will that last?"
"Forever," he answered, typing in the code. "My mother should be sleeping by now."
"I hope so," she sighed. "She hates me and if she ever sees me again, well I'm better off dead."
"You take my mother too seriously," he replied and they took the elevator to the fourth floor quickly. "She won't hurt you. She wouldn't hurt a fly." The doors opened and he took her to his door. He unlocked it a moment later, ushering her in quietly before he turned the light on. "Go to my room. I'll be right there."
She pushed forward and into his room, quickly shedding the jacket and shoes. She set her purse down next and felt around under his bed to find the small bin of clean clothes she had always kept in his room since she ran away at sixteen. She peeled the lingerie off quickly, pulling on the comfier pair of undies and sleep shorts and a tank top. She tucked the worn clothes into her purse and zipped it closed.
She was so lucky to still have Ned. To be able to run away somewhere if she needed to.
She'd never expected that at eleven, let alone at ssixteen Now twenty, she was still at his side most days. He always took care of her. The only person who still cared about her, even if she didn't appreciate him as much as she should.
"Who's with you? I heard more than one set of footsteps, Ned" Delia called as Ned turned the kitchen light on. "It better not be that damn girl. I know about you waiting for her outside that damn club on Friday night."
"Mom," he sighed.
"I do not want that whore in my home or in your head," Delia yelled. "She stole from us the last time she was here."
"She did not!" Ned yelled. "She would never steal and she is not a whore. Don't talk about her like that."
"C'mon! Where are you sweetheart?" Delia called out, crossing her arms over her chest.
Katie wasn't going to at first. She was only going to stay and listen, but she respected Delia enough to listen to her when she called her name. She stepped into the hallway, looking up at his mother, who turned on her apprehensively.
"And she is in the light before my eyes," Delia chuckled, shaking her head at her. The woman's hair was in her curlers and she was in her robe, looking frazzled and tired. "I haven't seen you in over a year, what do you have to say for youself?"
"I'm not a whore," she said, crossing her arms over her chest. "I may grace the pole or give a dance, but that is all. It's just to survive. I have to make money somehow. I never graduated."
"Maybe you should change that," Delia turned her nose up, laughing at the girl. "You look thin. Have you ate?"
"Yesterday," she said, looking down at her feet.
"You should make her something to eat," Delia told Ned, looking over her shoulder at him. "There is a plate in the oven for you Ned. Find something for her." She turned back to Katie. "You can stay tonight, but that's all."
"Thank you," she answered.
"Don't thank me, thank my son's stupid love for you." Delia rolled her eyes and walked to her bedroom on the right, slamming her door behind her. "Stupid girl."
Ned was at her side in a moment with a kiss to the forehead. "Are you alright?" He asked. "I'm sorry about her."
"I'm fine," she sighed, shaking her head. "I just need to shower and I guess something to eat. Nothing too fatty though, Danny wants me to slim down."
"How can you be with him when he treats you like he does?" He sighed, leaning in to smell her neck and kiss it too.
"He cares for me in his own way," she replied, shaking her head. "Not like you do, but he does care for me."
"Go take a shower and I'll make some food." He smiled and kissed her cheek. "Take as long as you'd like. I showered at the gym after work." He took her to the hall closet and gave her a towel before going back to the kitchen.
She went to the bathroom, locking it behind her. She turned the water on, letting the water warm.
She stripped the fresh clothes from her body and in the mirror, she looked at herself. The mirror had started to fog, so she brought her hand to the glass and wiped it away, looking at a fuzzy version of herself in the mirror. Her hair took up most of her picture, her body drowning behind it in frailty and pale skin. Bruises scattered her body for a various amount of reasons. THere were ones from customers that grabbed too harshly, and there were ones from where Danny and his boys grabbed or shoved her around too hard. There were bruises from where Daniel's fist had connected to her body or where his foot had kicked her. There were burns on her legs from when she's hidden something from him and he'd pressed the end of his cigarette into her stockings until she told him what he wanted to hear.
She placed her hand on her chest, unsure if she can even still feel her heart because lately, she can't feel it beating anymore. Some say they find purpose in the simplicity of their heartbeat, but she no longer knew where her purpose laid.
She was afraid, she guessed.
She could no longer feel anything as strongly as she once did. She was afraid of going completely numb, but she was also afraid of feeling something. Because quite frankly; feeling anything hurt. Feeling was what made her go numb in the first place. Every breath she took now was filled with the icy air of her heart. It pained her so much as it spread the cold blood through her veins. The coldness of her heart blurred her vision, rimming everything in red. She felt angry, all the time. She could punch a hole in a wall and turn a table over. But she couldn't, she simply sat there, letting the numbness take over her as she stepped into the shower.
The water hit her and she reached for the soap to cleanse herself.
She needed this. Maybe this would help her feel something again someday.
Katie sat on his bed after eating, her hair in its usual braid after a shower. Ned came in shortly, holding a spare blanket and sheet. He went to spread them out on the floor for himself, having even grabbed himself a pillow.
"Are you sure you want to sleep on the floor?" She asked, rubbing her arms anxiously. "I don't mind sleeping next to you. It's not like we haven't done it before."
"You deserve a night to yourself," he whispered, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "It's fine. I'm perfectly fine on the floor."
"I'd much rather sleep next to you," she replied.
"Are you sure?" He asked.
"I am," she smiled softly.
When Ned held out his arms, she walked straight into them. It was the first time since in over a year that she'd given him any sort of affection. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and pulled him close. He buried his face in her hair, warmth radiated from the spot where his lips just touched her neck, slowly spreading through the rest of her.
It felt so good, so impossibly good, that she knew that this time she would not let go. Not this time.
"Katie," he whispered just above her ear. "I miss calling you that," he was trailing soft kissing along her cheek and jawline. "I miss everything we had, everything you used to be."
She silenced him with a kiss that was everything she needed and nothing she truly deserved. She'd missed his lips on hers and the taste of his skin. His strong arms snaked further down her body, his hands landed on her hips, pulling her to him.
"Me too," she whispered, laughing as held her face lovingly. "More than you know."
Just like old times, she thought, smiling at him. But it wasn't old times. They weren't together, not in the way they both wanted to be.
His calloused hands worked their way under her thin nightshirt and made direct contact with skin. He used this opportunity to push his tongue into her mouth which she eagerly accepted.
"Ned," she moaned softly and bucked her hips toward his.
When he pulled his mouth away from hers, she knew that her lips are swollen and flushing with color. He didn't stop there but instead began kissing a line from her jaw to the pulse point at the base of her neck.
"Katie," he said into her skin.
"Ned," she whined, looking into his eyes. "It's fine. Let's go to bed."
"Oh, alright," he whispered, leaning in to kiss her again.
She giggled and grabbed onto his hand, pulling him toward the bed.