Logan continued to gaze through the large bay window in the deserted Stuart common room. The rain fell in icy sheets outside, much too cold for that time of year. It was warmer inside, but the light still cast blue shadows across the room.
"I dreamt of him again last night, Derek. Same dream, different setting"
Derek nodded once. "And how was he?"
Logan's eyes welled up at the memory. "He was barely alive. We were in the forest south of Dalton campus - well I was there alone, but Julian kept appearing, leaning against trees as I walked by."
"You know he's going to wake up Lo." The athlete spoke strongly, the voice of an individual who would never give up hope. The captain of a team giving a pep talk - even when they had no chance of winning.
"And every time I came close enough to touch him, he'd fade away, then appear further ahead. Sometimes Jules would be sitting in a tree, just hanging off a branch."
"He's going to be alright Logan!"
"He was always staring at me too, he never took his eyes off me - not once!"
He never did while he was awake either, thought Derek.
"I'd try to climb, but I couldn't get up the tree, I just couldn't move, exactly like what happened in the Art Hall! Then every time the branch would start to crack, he'd fade away again..." Logan was looking outside the window again, gazing at the large oak across the courtyard.
Derek's face was flushed with frustration. "Logan you can't say things like this! He's going to be fine! People in his condition just need time to -"
"- And he'd never say anything, just stared coldly at me. Not one word, I don't even know if he could. Der, he wasn't a part of this world, he was half way in and half way out."
"Logan, you've just got to believe -"
"- That wasn't even the worst part! What really scared me was that it was like we didn't even know each other at all. Complete strangers. He looked at me as though he wasn't quite sure who I was to him." Logan closed his eyes, but continued to speak. "Or why I was important to him at all..."
"He'll never leave us, he'd never just choose to let go!"
For the first time, Logan looked Derek straight in the eye. He spoke harshly and didn't hold anything back. "Would he? Because I think he hasn't decided yet. I know he's considering it Derek, I wouldn't dream like this if he wasn't."
Derek chocked back tears that his pride wouldn't allow to be shown. "Jules would never give up on life completely, he's going to fight for it!"
Logan slowly shook his head. "Not if he thought life would be better lived without him." The prefect raised his voice until it was almost too loud, "Not if he blamed himself! Not if he thought life would be better lived without him!
Logan's shaky hands pulled at the strap of his watch free and passed it to Derek.
"What about your watch?" When Logan didn't reply, Derek inspected the face, then said, "It isn't working..."
"I'm not superstitious, Derek, but it stopped on Hell Night." Logan shivered, a foreign act for someone as large as he was. "It was a gift from Jules, he bought it for me last time he was in Paris, he said."
Derek gripped the watch tightly in his hands, as though his own body heat could revive it.
"It's just a coincidence, I mean we can get the watch fixed -"
Logan's voice cracked as he said, "It means that Julian just needs a bit of a push, something to get his clock ticking again too."
Derek almost laughed at how ridiculously philosophical Logan sounded, a far cry from the cocky, self-involved asshole from a few weeks ago. Then he remembered that a seventeen year old boy was lying alone in a bed a few miles away, giving up on life because he thought he'd be doing the world a favor.
"And I know I can be that push, Derek, I can do it."
"Then Dolce Larson be damned, we're getting in."