(Sungmin's POV)

So I have this journal. It's where I keep all my feelings and thoughts, you know, normal stuff you put in journals. Things that you can't tell people, like secrets. I don't really write about my day, like a diary. I just talk about things I love about the person I love, just little things that he does every day that I want to remember.

Yes, he is a he.

He's, to me, perfect in every way. He's got an amazing personality, an amazing voice, an amazing body, and he is one of the nicest people I know…or, at least he's nice to me. To others, he's sort of known to be evil.

I hate it when people take his jokes seriously. When he's being sarcastic or just jokingly insulting his hyungs. It's not like he meant them seriously! Some of the fans who claim to call themselves ELFs just don't understand his jokes! They act as if they don't joke around with their friends like that. I don't enjoy insulting my ELFs like this, but sometimes it just gets annoying the way they disrespect him.

They just don't understand him the way I do. I don't think he knows just how important he is to me. Which is exactly what my journal is for. When I lose control of my feelings on those nights where I feel lonely without him and cry, when I just want to scream, I have my journal for comfort. I can write about my love without having to reveal my secret to anyone. It just feels great to get all these feelings off my chest.

Of course, it would obviously be better if he knew about my feelings and loved me back, but you know what they say: You can't always get what you want.

I keep my journal in the perfect hiding spot - underneath my pillow inside the actual pillow case. Okay, so maybe it's not the perfect hiding spot, but it's still a pretty good one. I wouldn't want my roommate, Donghae, to find it. Or anyone else, for that matter.

None of the other members know about my journal. It's a nice little secret. No one expects Sungmin the Aegyo King to keeps secrets, because come on, I usually don't. But this I just want to keep to myself, something I can have that's just for me.

Right now, I am currently sitting in a comfy leather seat, returning home from an interview with the rest of the group in our van. It's calm and quiet right now, and it's obvious how tired everyone is. As always, me, Ryeowook, and Donghae are the only ones with any energy left, which leaves us sitting here, awkwardly quiet as we wait to return home.

Ryeowook and I keep shooting each other smiling glances, trying our hardest not to burst out giggling. Donghae keeps flashing longing stares in Eunhyuk's direction, Eunhyuk taking no notice. It is obvious they want each other, and this sort of thing has been going on for months now. We just want them to makeout and get together already! It's getting hard just sitting here watching them stare at each other, being forced to hold back their desires...

I feel a nudge on my arm and turn to meet Kyuhyun's gaze. He is sitting next to me in the van, which I hadn't noticed when we first got in here. He gives me a questioning look, nodding his head from Donghae to Eunhyuk, asking the silent question. I nod back in response, flashing my aegyo-filled smile, my eyes excited. I can't help it, when it comes to couples I am all about it, especially people who are so meant for each other, just like Donghae and Eunhyuk.

Kyuhyun smiles a mischievous smile, and I punch his shoulder jokingly, knowing he is thinking something evil. "Don't do anything an evil maknae would do," I whisper and he looks back at me. He shrugs, trying to look cute and innocent. Well, he's got cute down.

"What can I say, I am the evil maknae!" he replies, making me involuntarily giggle at his cuteness.

We finally arrive at the dorms, everyone sighing in relief as they plop themselves down lazily onto the couch the minute they enter the living room.

"Get me a water!" Heechul shouts, addressing whoever would do the job. Of course, Hankyung, being the only one who seems to stand Heechul's temper, exhaustingly stands up and slumps into the kitchen to grab Heechul a water.

Once I believe that everyone is in the living room, I sneak off in the direction of me and Donghae's room, in the hopes of writing another entry in my journal. I don't really know why I want to write right now, but I want to write in the short whispered conversation Kyu and I just had. It was short, but I want to remember it.

But as I enter my room, I freeze. Not only because someone is holding my journal open in front of their eyes, but also because of whose it is.