Hello, this little ficlet is dedicated to the wonderful Lilyismilesaway on Tumblr, who wanted a modern AU Enjolras and Combeferre fighting over Éponine. Hope you enjoy.
Red, the blood of angry men; black, the dark of a woman's rage
"Flowers?" Marius asked as he fidgeted and nervously paced around the room, making notes on a notebook that was almost falling apart from extreme overuse.
"Check!" Éponine replied mechanically, not bothering to look up from the magazine she was currently engrossed in, already much too used to the man's anxiety over his upcoming nuptials with Cosette.
"Venue?" he continued.
"Check!" Combeferre answered, more bemused than anything else.
"Limo?"
"Oh for the love of God, CHECK!" Enjolras snapped exasperated, throwing the book he had been trying to read on the coffee table in front of him. "Marius, you really, really need to stop…" he motioned to his antsy friend "…this! Just stop freaking out over every little thing; you're driving me up the wall with your incessant fretting!"
Combeferre laughed. "Oh leave the man alone, Enjolras" he countered good-naturedly and put his arm around Marius' shoulder giving him an encouraging shake. "He's getting married tomorrow, it's normal to be nervous."
The groom-to-be gave his kind friend a grateful smile. "Thanks 'Ferre."
Enjolras rolled his eyes and Éponine just ignored them, still focused on her magazine.
"Why don't you go home, Marius?" Combeferre suggested. "Have a nice cup of Valerian Root tea, it'll calm you down and help you sleep, doctor's orders. And don't worry," he added, not allowing Marius to talk back, "everything will be fine, and if it isn't, your friends will be there to help you out."
The young man finally sighed in defeat and let the medical student lead him to the front door. "I'll see you guys tomorrow then. Now remember, you need to be at my house at exactly – "
"7AM sharp, yes we know" Combeferre finished his sentence patiently, patting the man on the back.
"Right… Right! Well then… bye" Marius said awkwardly, as he shook 'Ferre's hand.
Éponine and Combeferre both voiced their goodbyes, and Enjolras mumbled a weak 'see you' before Marius sauntered out the door.
"Poor guy" the medical student chuckled as he closed the door behind his tormented friend and moved to take a seat on the sofa between Enjolras and Éponine.
"Leave him alone" she deadpanned, "I bet you anything tomorrow he'll be so giddy and happy it'll be difficult to keep the food down our throats."
"Oh God" Enjolras groaned, "I don't even want to imagine what he's going to be like. He'll probably be skipping and whistling his way to the church."
Combeferre merely shook his head and laughed. He for one was actually looking forward to the wedding and was genuinely happy for his good friend and his fiancé.
"I need to find a date for tomorrow" Éponine mumbled, more to herself than anyone else.
Enjolras glanced sideways at her and raised an eyebrow. "Why the hell do you need a date for?"
She gave him a withering look. "Because, Enjolras, I don't want to be on my own for the whole entire night… but you're probably the last person who could understand what I'm talking about, so I'm not gonna bother explaining."
The blond frowned and opened his mouth to retort, but decided against it in the end.
"You won't be on your own" Combeferre interjected with a gentle smile. "Everyone will be there, you'll hardly be lonely."
Éponine sighed. "Yeah, I know. But it's different when you actually have someone to lock arms with and walk you into the room and dance with you all night and all that." She shrugged. "It just… It would be nice."
Enjolras and Combeferre surveyed her silently for a while, with pensive looks on their faces, until they both suddenly blurted in perfect unison: "I'll be your date!"
An uncomfortable silence fell in the room, and the three of them took turns staring at each other.
Éponine cleared her throat and gave a light chuckle, trying to lighten the awkward atmosphere. "Well, this is weird" the girl said and she found it hard to keep from smiling. "I'm not really sure what to say…"
"I must say I'm surprised" Combeferre cut her off and kept his gaze fixed on Enjolras, eyeing him suspiciously. "I would never have expected you would actually want to bring a date to… well, anything."
The blond frowned at his roommate. "I don't see what's so surprising," he retaliated "I've dated before."
Combeferre snorted loudly. "What, you mean that one time when in senior year when you got so drunk you hooked up with some random sophomore and you couldn't get rid of her for two months?"
"I remember that" Éponine commented, but immediately shut her mouth when Enjolras threw her a dirty look.
He then turned his gaze towards the other man, now openly glaring at him. "If anyone should be surprised, it would be me" he said, venom dripping from his every word. "I can't believe you had the audacity to offer to be 'Ponine's date. Didn't you break up with what's-her-face only a week ago?"
It had been a long time since Éponine had seen Combeferre angry, and she was glad that it wasn't something that happened often.
"Her name is Rosalie" the medical student said through gritted teeth, "and I don't see how my private life is any of your business. At least I'm not offering her a pity invite…"
"Hey!" Éponine scowled. "I don't need – "
"I am not asking her out of pity!" Enjolras snapped, his voice now raised quite a few decibels higher. "I can't believe you think I'd do that" he glared at his roommate in anger and disbelief.
"Well what other possible reason would you have?" Combeferre challenged, his voice also steadily rising.
Enjolras was silent for a moment, and Éponine noticed he was staring at her. When she caught his eye, he immediately looked away, a slight blush coloring his cheeks.
"I just… I just thought it would be fun, that's all" he mumbled, trying to appear as calm and composed as he usually was.
Combeferre made a face. "Since when do you have fun?"
Éponine actually had to nod in agreement. Enjolras and fun were not things that usually went together.
"I have just as much fun as either of you!" he replied indignantly. "And at least I'm not using Éponine as a rebound to get over Rosalind dumping you!"
Éponine glowered at the two men. "Now just wait a damn minute – " she began but was cut off by Combeferre jumping from his seat, glaring daggers at his soon to be former best friend.
"ROSALIE!" he barked. "And how dare you make such an assumption! I would never use Éponine like that!"
"Well why the hell did you invite her then?" Enjolras had also risen from his seat and was matching the other man's glare with equal intensity.
"I… uh…" Combeferre faltered and began fidgeting, adamantly avoiding her questioning glances. "I just want to!" he blurted and immediately grimaced at his less than eloquent response.
The two men stared intensely at each other for a while and Éponine was beginning to worry they might actually end up sharing blows.
Enjolras was the first to speak, and she could tell he was trying hard to keep his temper under check. "Well, I want to go with her too, so it seems we have a problem."
"I don't see any problem, to be honest" Combeferre replied, mirroring his roommate's angry yet steady tone, "it's obvious she isn't going to want to be accompanied to the wedding by a socially challenged, inapt at dancing, bore of a man like you."
"'Ferre!" Éponine started, shocked that the usually gentle and kind man she knew would insult someone in their face like that.
Enjolras narrowed his eyes and balled his fists at his sides, and she could see the fury in his eyes. He was absolutely terrifying when angry and most people would cower under his intense glare, yet Combeferre didn't budge.
"And you think she would go with you?" the blond man growled. "The resident nerd, who spews philosophical quotes as introductions to make himself sound cool, but instead all he does is embarrass himself and those acquainted with him, and whose special talent is playing 'Yankee-Doodle' with his armpits?!"
"Enjolras!" Éponine cried, now trying to get between the two and break them apart.
"At least my special talent isn't clapping with one hand!" the medical student sneered, grabbing his roommate by the collar.
"Guys!"
"At least I'm not a complete douchebag!" Enjolras bellowed, grabbing a fistful of Combeferre's shirt.
"Guys!"
"So says King Ass-hole!"
"You son of a – "
"ENOUGH!"
Both men started and snapped their heads to look at Éponine and recoiled at the sight of the raging look on her face.
"Listen, and listen good, you little shits" she spat, her face red with fury, "if you two don't stop this fuckery right now, then so help me God, I will smack you so hard they'll be planning your funerals after the wedding is over."
Both men gulped and looked at their feet, avoiding her heated glare.
"But 'Ponine" Enjolras chanced appealing to her, but was stopped short as she held a palm up in front of each of their faces.
"Not another word out of you!" she roared and took a long deep breath. "I am going to go home now" she said more calmly, but still kept the anger in her voice clear, "and I'm gonna pretend this ridiculous argument never happened. You two morons better get your shit straightened out, because if you dare cause a scene and ruin tomorrow's wedding then I swear to God I will never speak to either of you again!"
And with that, she picked up her purse and made her way towards the front door, not bothering to spare either man even the tiniest of glances.
"Éponine?" Combeferre called after her.
She stopped just as she was ready to close the door behind her and glanced back over her shoulder at the two idiots.
"What?"
"About tomorrow…" he said awkwardly, avoiding her eyes, "which one of us will you take as your date?"
She stared at them with narrowed eyes for what, to the two men, seemed like a decade.
"I'll think about it" was all Éponine said as she swiftly exited the apartment, slamming the door behind her.
"She's definitely going to pick me" Combeferre mumbled, breaking the silence that had fallen in the room, but made sure Enjolras could hear him.
"In your dreams" his roommate retorted, "she'll definitely choose me."
"Hah, that'll be the day."
To say Marius' villa was lavishly decorated would have been an understatement. Mr. Guillenormand had clearly pulled out all the stops in order to make his only grandson's wedding day one the entire neighborhood would remember for the next ten years.
The groom's party, consisting of Enjolras, Combeferre, Joly with Musichetta, Jehan, Grantaire, Bahorel, Bossuet and Éponine, were all waiting in the sitting room for Marius to finish getting ready so they could all go to the church together.
Enjolras and Combeferre were still not speaking to each other, not that they could have at the moment, as they were both too busy gawking at Éponine, who looked absolutely breathtaking in a gorgeous lavender form-fitting gown that hugged her small figure in all the right places.
"Hey, 'Ponine" Enjolras addressed her when the three of them managed to get a moment to themselves, "have you decided who's gonna be your date yet?"
"I have actually" she smirked and craned her neck to look at something behind Combeferre. "And here he comes now" she quipped cheerfully as she shoved passed them and headed for the doorway with a bit of a skip in her step.
Both men gaped as they watched Courfeyrac enter the room, looking sharper than usual and wearing a huge grin on his face. "Hey everyone, sorry I'm late. Had a little errand to run" he said, enthusiastic as always.
"No way…" Combeferre sputtered in shock while Enjolras merely stared horrified as Éponine approached the notorious playboy he would never call his friend again.
However, they were both surprised when she passed Courfeyrac by after exchanging a few quick words between them, and came to a halt when she reached the doorway. The woman seemed to be happily chatting with someone, but neither Combeferre nor Enjolras could see who it was from their angle.
She then motioned the newcomer inside, offering her hand and leading him into the room.
Enjolras and Combeferre had to struggle to keep themselves from keeling over as Éponine walked in, hand in hand with a very spiffy, perfectly dressed and smug looking Gavroche.
"Gentlemen," Éponine announced flashing the two men a wry grin, "I'd like you to meet my date for this evening."
And there you have it... I hope you liked that little twist at the end, I know I did. And let me just say, writing the argument between Enjolras and Combeferre was some of the most fun writing I ever did.
I hope you all liked it, and if you have the time, reviews are much appreciated.