And here we go! This is my first story so go easy on me (Actually that's a lie. I couldn't care less of what internet people think of me). I shouldn't really call it a story but I don't know what else to call it. If you're looking for a good laugh then you've come to the right place, if not, then kindly get the hell out.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto (insert lame rant of what I would do with it here)
It was a normal day on Konoharu-Konoharuke? no sato? (Seriously who calls it this? I'm starting over, fuck using japanese words)
It was a normal day on The Village Hidden on the Leaves. The sun was high in the sky, shining upon the village filled with life. People walked around the busy streets filled with vendors; buying, selling and getting ripped off, your usual market setting.
In a crowded street walked a boy with bright blond hair. He wore a white shirt with a red spiral and sandy brown shorts. A cough escaped his frail body, skinny from not eating right and sporting a few bruises around his body.
"Man…" the boy sighed out as he put a hand to his stomach. "I am sooo hungry. It's not like the Third Hokage, the person who calls me his grandson, is going to feed me. Me, a helpless 5-year-old that apparently lives his life unsupervised. The council wouldn't allow the Hokage to do anything since, apparently, they have full control of everything. Makes me wonder why I want to be Hokage in the first place…" he muttered to himself.
"Hey look," a villager called out, "It's the demon!"
Naruto (whom I didn't name before and somehow do all of a sudden) looked at the villager in terror. 'Oh no!' he screamed in his head, 'It's an angry villager. Why does he hate me? I am just a boy! A boy I tell ya!'
"Yeah it's him," another villager agreed from within the mob around Naruto.
The first villager furrowed his brows as he turned to the group of people that came out of thin air, "Wait. Where the hell did you all come from?"
The mob around him shrugged before taking out several torches, pitchforks and knives out of nowhere before nearing the young boy.
Naruto ran away from the mob, his little legs carrying him as fast as they could. Naruto, only having lived in Konoha his whole life, ended up running into a dead end. "Oh no!" he screamed, having no idea how exactly he had ended up in a dead end so fast. Seriously, he was at the street one second and then immediately ran into a dead end, made him think that some people thought he was utterly stupid.
"We've got you demon - even though we can't say 'demon' or an ANBU magically pops out," a villager announced as he and the crowd neared the young boy.
Naruto took a step back, his back hitting the wall before a sudden cloud of smoke appeared before them. All stood quiet as a ninja wearing a random animal mask appeared before them.
"Why are you about to hurt a young boy?" the ANBU roared. The crowd took a hesitant step back before the ANBU pulled his masked off to reveal a toothy smile, "… without me?"
Naruto and the crowd laughed, crossing their arms and shaking their heads, "Silly ANBU."
The ANBU shrugged with the same toothy smile before putting his mask on again, "Now let's get the demon."
Naruto sighed as he watched the nearing mob, "I'm fucked."
Super Cool Naruto!
Chapter 1
You're a Demon Nobody Likes You
"Hey Naruto!" a villager called out as the young boy walked around the street.
Naruto turned to the villager with a smile on his face, "What is it?"
The villager suddenly ran up to Naruto and pushed him to the ground, "You're a demon nobody likes you."
"Oh man," Naruto whined before passing out for some odd reason.
Naruto found himself in a sewer. A cool wind graced his skin as he walked around the empty halls before hearing a growling sound in the distance. Naruto found it a good idea to follow the sound since it made total sense. He finally made it to find himself staring at a giant cage with a seal in the middle.
"WE HAVE FINALLY MET!" A deep loud voice roared as the figure of a fox became visible from within the cage. Naruto let out a scream of terror before hearing the fox begin to laugh, "I was just kidding Naruto. I am a gooood guy for some plot-holed filled idea."
"Oh okay," Naruto nodded, "I am suddenly not terrified of you anymore. Can I call you Kyuubi-neko-san-chan?"
"Of course, for I am a niceeee guy," the fox and Naruto shared a laugh before the giant mass of chakra and hatred, completely incapable of feeling anything but the latter, spoke once more, "I have seen your life. It is filled with more suffering than my own. I have been only trapped within someone almost all of my life but I feel sympathy for you. From today on I will train you in all of the ninja techniques I, a giant fox incapable of using hand seals, have learned."
"That sounds cool," Naruto cheered, "As soon as we're out of here I'm going to buy tight shirts and pants to show off my hot 5-year-old body!"
The Kyuubi nodded its large horrifying demon face, "That's badass man."
End of Chapter 1
So what did you think? (Again, couldn't care less) In my next chapter I will introduce stupid emo-duckbutt-saucegay-teme-chan-kun. And of course my next chapter will be longer since this is only the introduction and will serve to tell me if I should keep going or just drop this and get on with my life.
Also, prize for the person who can guess where I got Sasuke's nickname from.