Dlbn: Hey there, everyone! Welcome to another Loveless one shot!
Nbld: It's September 28th, so it's time for another birthday fic for Soubi!
Dlbn: Yay! *throws confetti*
Nbld: *blows whistle* Let's begin!
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Loveless or anything in it. It all belongs to Yun Kouga! Soubi's mentioned mother is Yun Kouga's, but the name is mine, and his father is all mine. I make no money off of this fic!
000
He was six years old when his parents died. A drunk driver had sped a little too fast around the corner without watching where he was going-or perhaps he just couldn't tell that things were much closer then they appeared-and hit his parents' car head on. His father had died instantly from a combination of the airbag hitting his face and other injuries from the impact, but his mother had survived long enough to be taken to the hospital. However, she hadn't made it past a few hours due to internal bleeding. She had managed to tell a nurse who it was that should watch over Soubi; her Sacrifice and only close friend, Minami Ritsu. Soubi had been brought to the hospital to see his mother while she was alive, but his uncle that had brought him hadn't made it there in time before she passed on. The room she was supposed to have been in was devoid of all human life. Soubi noticed his mother's purse sitting on the bed where she once lay and climbed onto the bed. It was still warm as he snuggled up with her purse on the pristine, white bedspread. His uncle had left, not wanting to be in the place where his sister-in-law died and her only child, her son, curled up with what remained of her and dripped snot and tears onto the bedspread it wasn't like he had been close with anyone in the family, so it didn't really matter to him that he just left. Soubi perked up when he heard someone enter the room and got off the bed. He stood still in between the two beds in the room and wiped away his tears. The man in front of him was a tall, silver haired male with glasses. His hair went to his shoulders and his blue-green eyes were cold as ice. Soubi recognized him as having been someone that had come to his birthday parties as a kid, but someone that his father didn't seem to like. Soubi sniffled and looked up at him with tear filled blue eyes.
"W-Who are you?" He wondered.
"Minami Ritsu." The man knelt down to Soubi's level. "You must be Soubi. I'm a friend of your mother's."
Soubi sniffled. "I'm Soubi…" He confirmed. "Where…where did mommy go?"
"They didn't tell you?" The man seemed surprised as he cocked an eyebrow. "Ugh, why do I always get stuck with the icky details?"
Soubi blinked and wiped his nose on his sleeve.
"No, don't do that. Disgusting." Ritsu pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and gave it to Soubi.
"T-Thank you…" Soubi gave it back, but Ritsu tossed it into a trashcan.
Ritsu knelt there, analyzing the blonde boy in front of him. He had a face like his mother's; from fair blonde hair to pouting lips. His eyes were that of his late father; a man Ritsu had known since high school and didn't get along with. However, he put up with him for Soubi's mother's sake. Soubi wasn't a fighter or a sacrifice, so Ritsu didn't have much interest in him. But for his late fighter that he loved from the moment he met her, he'd do anything.
"Why won't mommy and daddy wake up and come get me?" Soubi sniffled. "Where did they go?"
"What? You think they're sleeping?" Ritsu snorted. "Stupid kid…they're not coming back."
"W-why not? Where did they go? Why would they leave me all alone?" Soubi's eyes welled up again and he buried his face in his arm. "I want my mommy and daddy…Where are they…?"
"Don't you get it, kid?" Ritsu huffed. "They're dead. They didn't abandon you. They left the world."
"Why can't they come back?"
Ritsu sighed. "You really don't get it, do you?" He stood and gave Soubi his hand. "Come with me."
Soubi grabbed his mom's purse and hugged it close to him as he took the hand of the strange, rude man. Not really wanting to leave, Soubi followed him anyway.
"Where are we going?"
"To my place." Ritsu informed. "Your mother asked the nurses to make sure I took care of you."
"You were friends with mommy…?"
"I loved her."
Silence passed between them as they walked down the clean-smelling white hallways of Kanto Hospital.
000
He was ten years old when he learned that there was more to Ritsu then met the eye. Not only was Ritsu a rude, uncaring man who was terrible with children and shouldn't be allowed near them, let alone allowed to raise them, but he was a vicious instructor. He had decided that the teachers at Seven Voices Academy, the fighting school he ran, hadn't been enough and took Soubi for private lessons. They had started out innocently enough; reading from books and getting lectured by his sensei. But over time, they grew into practice exams way beyond what he learned in class; learning new, highly advanced spells that a level thirteen fighter shouldn't have been able to use, let alone a young level three fighter like Soubi. From lessons that he shouldn't have had to deal with until at least the high school level (If that. He was sure even students that had graduated didn't know some of these spells), it escalated into lessons about taking pain and tolerating it to protect your Sacrifice from damage. Those lessons, more often then not, came with whippings to prove a point. Where Ritsu had gotten the whip, or the idea that it was okay to use it on a ten year old, would forever remain a mystery to the young blank fighter. He was pretty sure that he was never meant to be a fighter, but was groomed into being one by Ritsu and that was why he didn't have a true name to speak of.
Soubi's fingernails dug into the grey-brown carpeting of Ritsu's office as the whip collided with his back once more; leaving a long, angry red welt across his back with the others. Like the other scars, it was another reason for Soubi to avoid changing in the locker rooms with the other boys for gym classes. Since he was a blank, he didn't need to do battle lessons; he only had to watch from the sidelines and write papers on what he learned.
"Stand up, Soubi." Ritsu ordered coldly behind him. "You need to be able to tolerate pain if you ever hope to become a true fighter."
"I'm not a true fighter." Soubi muttered back, tossing his teacher a well-deserved glare over his shoulder. "I'm a blank, remember? You're making me be a fighter…"
"Your mother was a fighter. An excellent fighter. You have her blood, so you have a fighter in you. It just needs to be awakened. I will not have you fail."
"You were a failure in the Academy, remember?" Soubi wondered. "And you made it out alright in the end."
"Stand up."
Not wanting to anger the bespectacled sensei further, Soubi did as told. He adjusted his new glasses on the bridge of his nose as he did.
"Hands against the wall."
Soubi followed the order, standing with his feet spread apart about twelve inches. He pressed his palms flat against the wall so he could dig his fingers into the wall as the whip hit his back.
"Grit your teeth." Ritsu ordered.
"Grit my teeth."
"Do not cry out."
"I will not."
"You will withstand."
"I will."
The cracking of air was the only warning Soubi got before the ropey whip slapped across his back. He grunted and lurched forward, but he didn't cry out.
"Well done, Soubi."
"Arigato, Sensei."
"Again. Grit your teeth."
"Gritting."
"Do not cry out."
"I won't."
"Withstand."
"I will."
The whip cut through the air and over his back again, achieving the same grunt from Soubi and a dark smirk from Ritsu.
0000
When he was fourteen, he was informed that Ritsu-sensei was not going to be his true, permanent fighter. Ritsu had promised him the world. He had promised that they would be a unit. That they would fight together and live together until their dying days. Ritsu was supposed to be the one to name him. He was supposed to carve his true name into Soubi's skin and mark him as his own. Ritsu promised all those things, both when he shared a bed with Soubi at night and when they were in lessons or alone together for other means. But now, he was going to throw him away? Had Soubi disappointed?
"You're just giving me away?" Soubi wondered, glancing down at his clenched fists that rested on his knees as he sat on a stool in his sensei's office. "Did I do something wrong?"
"I told you from the beginning, Soubi." Ritsu sighed in annoyance. "When the time came for you to get a fighter, I would analyze the Seven Houses of Septimal Moon to determine who will be the best sacrifice for you. I have chosen Aoyagi. Beloved."
"I don't care what you did." Soubi shook his head and his curtain of blonde hair danced. "You promised me that I would be yours. That you would be the one to name me…"
"I made no such promise."
"Right, I forgot. You don't remember a damn thing you say in bed, right? None of it means anything to you, right?!" Soubi glared. "Is it because I look like my mother? Are you still so hung up over her that seeing me, her mirror image, or the thought of taking me as your new fighter remind you of her? Does it make you sick? Is that why you're throwing me away to some brat?!"
"Mind your tongue, Soubi." Ritsu ordered folding his arms as he turned from the teen to look out the office window. "This is not a decision that came easily to me, you know. I already have a fighter."
"A dead one!" Soubi argued.
"But one nonetheless. Aoyagi's can't be located." Ritsu looked over his shoulder at the blonde with a haircut and glasses similar to his own. "He requested you specifically."
"And like a good little dog, you rolled over and agreed to let him have me. Is that it?"
Ritsu sighed. "Do not argue with me on this Soubi. He will be here any minute."
"You just told me about this a few minutes ago!" Soubi argued, shooting up from his seat and tipping the stool over by doing so. "Why didn't you give me more notice?!"
What the hell was he supposed to say to this kid? He didn't even know this was happening, let alone a single detail about the boy other then his names and age.
"I didn't have the time to properly arrange to teach you." Ritsu scoffed. "I should think that you could just-"
The door opened without any invitation to do so or a knock. A boy a little shorter then Soubi with plum colored eyes, short black hair, and his ears and tail greeted them. He was wearing a dark brown school uniform with a yellow buttoned, collared shirt and bright red tie. It looked as though he went to a private school or something of the like. A word was written down one of his hands; probably his real name. He smiled.
"Am I interrupting?" He wondered.
"I told you to wait outside, Aoyagi." Ritsu scowled. "You never listen, do you?"
"And you never think." The boy cocked his head to the side and smiled. "I couldn't help but overhear your conversation."
"You were eavesdropping again."
"No, I swear. You two are just loud." He laughed. "Not as loud as Nagisa-sensei. That woman makes my ears bleed. But you two are loud enough to make my ears ring."
Ritsu glared. "Aoyagi, Agatsuma Soubi. Soubi, Aoyagi Seimei." Ritsu introduced them. "He will be your sacrifice. Serve him well, and behave." He pushed his way past Seimei, knocking into the boy and making a scowl dash across his angelic features.
Soubi watched as the boy feigned another smile and shut the door behind Ritsu with his foot.
"Well, I don't know about you, but I'm sure as hell glad that he's gone." He laughed. "I've heard a lot about you, Soubi." He offered his hand. "I could really use your help."
Soubi stared at the hand. "Funny. I've heard nothing of you."
Seimei chuckled darkly but the smile on his face was a vague attempt at concealing it. "So I heard. He only informed you as of now about me? How rude." Seimei blew his bangs out of his face as he lowered his hand.
This was who Soubi was supposed to serve for the rest of his life?
"Once again, I'll repeat myself. I need you, Soubi. I believe you can help me out a lot." He offered his hand again. "What do you say?"
Reluctantly, Soubi took the neko's hand and was dragged out of the room. He had a feeling that this wasn't going to end well.
000
He really couldn't believe it. He'd lived long enough to see three people who were important to him pass away; never to be seen or heard from again. And all of them murdered. Soubi was nineteen when he learned that Aoyagi Seimei, his master for the past five years, had perished. Set on fire and left to die in the desk chair of his younger brother. It was the young boy that had first found the body, and even at the funeral, Soubi could see how heavily it weighed down on the boy. If only he had been sooner, would Seimei's killers have failed? Or would he have died as well?
Soubi dipped his paintbrush into black paint before scraping it across his canvas. He sat on the floor of his studio apartment with a set of paint brushes, pallet of paint, and cup of water at his side. Every day since Seimei's death, the urge to paint had gripped him once more. And they weren't just pictures of beautiful butterflies or shining, dew covered flowers anymore. They were swirls of death black and blood red. Red flames flew from a black body of unrecognizable shape and dashed up to the top of the canvas and over the top to curl down the sides. All of his paintings were grim and dark in one way or another, and it shook his friend Kaido Kio to the core. Kio had never approved of Seimei or how he treated Soubi, though Soubi insisted the treatment was fine and welcomed, but he did understand what an effect it had on Soubi. The blonde hardly came to class, and when he did, he kept to himself like he had before he and Kio had formally met. The green haired artist with one too many piercings on each air frowned and bit his lip as he sat at Soubi's unoccupied side, watching him paint. Soubi's fingers gripped the brush harder then normal, and his lips were pinched into an unhealthy frown.
"Sou-chan?" Kio prodded softly. "Your face it going to stick like that if you keep it in that one position for too long."
Soubi ignored him and washed off his brush to select another colored paint and a smaller brush.
"I mean it, Sou-chan. You've been so glum ever since Seimei died." Kio tried to ignore how the paintbrush creaked under pressure at the mention of the incident. "What can I do to make you smile again?"
"Bring Seimei back." Soubi muttered. "He was my reason for living."
"You can't put your willingness to live on someone else."
"I should have been there with him…he shouldn't have died."
"You couldn't have prevented that." Kio shook his head. "You know there's nothing you could do."
"You don't know what I can do." Soubi sneered. "Just back off, Kio."
Kio hugged his knees to his chest. "Please, Sou-chan, this isn't like you. You used to be so happy and lifelike…I wish I could see you that way again."
"Engrave that thought into your memory, Kio." Soubi replied. "Because that's all it is now. A memory."
"But…"
"Why do you even care?" Soubi leaned over the canvas to paint at the top; his hair falling around him like a curtain.
"Because I like you, Soubi." Kio stated. "A lot. I always have. It's not just your paintings that attracted me, it's you."
Soubi huffed. "I'm nobody. Just some stupid kid his sensei didn't even want…"
"Sensei?"
"Don't worry about that." Soubi shook his head. "You shouldn't care about me, Kio. People that care about me tend to die on me."
"Soubi…"
"A drunk driver killed my parents…and now Seimei…"
"Seimei didn't care about you." Kio argued. "He hurt you, Sou-chan."
"I've told you before. It's a punishment, and it's perfectly fine."
"Maybe he told you that, but he's wrong."
"How so?"
"It just is…no person has the right to lay their hands on another." Kio took a sip of the soda at his side. "I don't want to preach here, Soubi, but Seimei would want you to move on. You told me that he predicted he would die."
"I should've taken that as my warning and never left his side…"
"And although I don't approve, he told you what to do when he died."
"Find his brother and love him."
"You can't force someone to love by merely giving an order, but fine." Kio huffed.
"You don't understand, Kio. No one ever could." Satisfied with his newest grim painting, Soubi gathered up his supplies.
Kio looked over the painting and shuddered. A black, burning tree reached for the sky as flames danced about. A cloud of smoke and wisps of fire covered the top of the canvas. Soubi had painted a pained face on the tree; one that appeared to be shouting to the heavens as fire danced in its eyes. Kio stood and followed Soubi into the kitchen, feeling the eyes in the painting eerily following him as he did so.
"It's mortifying, Sou-chan. You're such a brilliant artist…these recent paintings you've made? They're all gothic and demonic…Where are the dancing butterflies and the vibrant flowers and scenes of pure bliss?"
"Gone the way of my soul. Black." Soubi replied.
"Wow, deep, Sou-chan." Kio joined the blonde at the sink. "Please, Sou-chan?" He pleaded softly. "What can I do to help you? Just tell me what I should do."
"There's nothing you can do." Soubi gripped the sink in his hands as water flushed the brushes and the pallet that he left to soak in the sink. "Nothing anyone can do."
"Don't say that." Kio leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on the corner of Soubi's mouth. "I want to help you…let me help you."
Soubi glared out of the corner of his eye. "You. Can't. Help. Me. Kio."
"I can if you let me."
Soubi pinned the mint haired male to the sink. "And what makes you so sure you can do anything, hm? What makes you so sure that I'm just beyond repair and that your efforts are futile, hm? We've bene told since we started school to paint what comes to mind; what makes us feel good and happy. But what makes me feel all good and happy isn't here anymore, and it's painful to look at memories of it. Unless you can bring Seimei back from the dead, or change the hands of time, there is nothing you can do."
Kio's green-purple eyes filled with terror as he saw darkness clouding Soubi's eyes. "S-Sou-chan…this…this isn't you…" He gripped his friend by the shoulders. "You are not like this…and you have to snap out of it! It's like you're possessed by the spirit of Aoyagi Seimei…"
Soubi glared. "What are you saying?"
Kio grabbed a recently used metal pot from the sink and held it up for Soubi to see his reflection in. "There's evil in your eyes…"
Soubi's eyes softened as he looked himself over. He didn't like the hateful, spiteful, angry being he saw glaring back at him. He wanted back that innocence that was so wrongly taken from him at a young age. He wanted that smile, those bright and cheerful eyes, that joyous laugh…he wanted it all back, damn it! But he couldn't get it back. His parents died, his sensei didn't want him, Seimei died…he had nothing, no one.
"I don't want to be this way." Soubi protested softly, taking the pan from Kio and chucking it to the side. "I don't want to be like this anymore, Kio…"
Kio pulled Soubi into his arms and held him. The blonde stiffened for a moment before realizing that Kio wasn't going to hurt him and hugged him back. Kio pulled back a little and looked into Soubi's pained, cobalt eyes. The shadows were receding, but they were still there.
"Help me…"
Without knowing what else to do, Kio pulled Soubi into a searing kiss; his hands gripping at Soubi's shirt and pulling him closer and closer to trap him between Kio's legs. Soubi responded positively; moving his lips against the other artist's. Kio grinned into the kiss as he pulled away.
"Your bed. Now."
Soubi nodded, knowing that this was one tragedy in his life that someone would be able to prevent; the tragedy of losing himself.
000
Seimei…Seimei was back…Seimei was alive…he didn't die…he was alive! The thought should have made Soubi happy. Instead, it just made him miserable. Hearing the things that Seimei was trying to put into Ritsuka's head in the library the day he returned made him snap.
"Stop it, Seimei." He ordered.
Over his little brother's shoulder, Seimei glared hatefully with plum colored eyes. "What did you say to me?" He sneered.
Soubi took a step forward and pulled Ritsuka to him. "Stop feeding him your lies. He doesn't need to deal with this." Soubi informed, looking down to Ritsuka. "He's trying to get you to bind yourself to him, so you will be his forever. Don't let him do it."
Ritsuka looked up at his fighter with wet, plum eyes that matched his brother's in color but not overall appearance. "S-Soubi?" He wondered. "What are you saying?"
"Don't listen to him, Ritsuka." Seimei ordered his brother. "He's trying to trick you."
"I'm trying to save him from making a big mistake. Committing his life to you."
Soubi could feel the anger radiating off of the Beloved sacrifice. "You watch your mouth, Soubi. Stop talking."
"I won't." Soubi refused.
Ritsuka looked between the arguing older males. Who was he going to believe? His brother that rose from the dead? Or his fighter that loved him unconditionally?
"Ritsuka, listen to Soubi." Yoji ordered. "He knows what he's talking about."
"You hold your tongue!" Seimei ordered. "Stop filling his head with lies and ridiculous notions."
"The only ridiculous notion here is that you care about him!" Natsuo argued. "You only care about yourself and what he can do for you."
Seimei glared. "That's enough." He looked to Ritsuka and his eyes softened. "Ritsuka? Who do you believe? Me? Or Soubi?"
"I-I don't know…" Ritsuka spoke softly, leaning into the blonde man who had his arms around him still.
"I see…" Seimei sighed. "Very well…I've grown tired of this Academy. I always hated it here." He looked directly at Soubi. "Like the little traitor you are, I'll just leave you here to rot, alright?"
"Back off, Seimei!" Ritsuka snapped. "Don't talk to Soubi like that…"
Seimei took a step back, surprised. "Fine…Soubi…I want to leave now. Break this window for me." Seimei wrapped is knuckles against the stained glass window behind him. "I want to leave."
"Soubi?" Ritsuka looked up at his fighter, who looked ready to submit.
"Don't do it." Yoji ordered.
"Let us capture him." Natsuo agreed.
"That's an order, Soubi." Seimei smirked. "You see, Ritsuka? Soubi is nothing more then a puppet that follows my command. He can't resist."
Soubi held his face in his hand as he put out his other hand.
"Soubi, don't…" Ritsuka pleaded softly. "Don't do anything."
Soubi took Ritsuka by the shoulder and put the neko behind him. "Obstacle in my path."
"Soubi no!"
"See, Ritsuka? Soubi can't resist my order. He's just that kind of person." Seimei smirked. "A good little dog. Woof, woof."
"Shatter and aid my escape."
Suddenly, the window exploded. Glass sailed past Seimei, and the elder Aoyagi brother didn't even blink. Soubi shielded his face and caught sight of the Zero brothers doing the same thing. He turned him back to the window to protect Ritsuka form the oncoming blast.
"I'm so sorry…" Soubi muttered, covering his face with his hand so Ritsuka wouldn't have to look at the traitor above him. "Please forgive me…"
000
Soubi couldn't have been happier when he retrieved Kio from the storage shed Bloodless had left him in. His friend was safe and unharmed, albeit a little wobbly and confused. Kio once prevented tragedy from befalling Soubi and making him lose himself to his depression after Seimei's alleged 'death'. Finally, Soubi was able to pay him back by preventing the tragedy that could have ended his life.
000
Soubi never felt more disgusted with himself. Ritsuka had begged and pleaded for him to not leave with Seimei. Begged him to listen to the younger brother instead of the older one and just turn around and come back. Instead, he turned his back to the one he loved to help the one he hated. He did it to protect Ritsuka. Despite his obsession with his little brother, Seimei would have hurt him if Soubi hadn't complied and followed him. Soubi did it to protect his beloved Loveless sacrifice, not to hurt him. But he heard Ritsuka cry and sniffle and scream and beg him not to go…and he did nothing but leave him all alone at the grave. All alone; just like Soubi had been left most of his life.
"Are you proud of yourself, Seimei?" Soubi asked, once they were out of earshot of the crying preteen in the graveyard.
"What are you talking about?" Seimei snapped.
"Ritsuka is crying. It's because of you." Soubi sneered. "Do you really enjoy hurting him so much?"
"Ah, but Soubi. I'm not the one who gave into my former master and abandoned him. It wasn't my name he was calling. It wasn't me he was begging to stay with him. It was you. You hurt Ritsuka, and I'm just an easy target for your anger, since you can't hurt yourself. You know that's it. Ritsuka's tears aren't falling because of what I did. It's because of you."
"I had no choice!"
"You always have a choice."
Soubi resisted the urge to punch Seimei clear across the face and remove that arrogant smirk from his lips.
"And you made the choice to join me and leave him alone. How does it feel Soubi? Hm? Or should I call you Ritsu-junior, hm? Tossing away the one you can't live without for someone else to take?" Seimei chuckled. "You're no better then that old pervert you were so infatuated with."
"Stop…this is different…you would have hurt Ritsuka if I didn't go with you…I didn't have a choice." Soubi spoke through gritted teeth. "This isn't on me, Seimei. It's in you."
Seimei's ears lit up bright red. "Shut up." He ordered, pulling Soubi close by the arm. "I don't want to hear you speak again. Your voice irritates me almost as much as looking at you does." His voice was a hushed whisper so no one could overhear. "Don't you dare tell me that I would hurt my brother. I would do more for him, and I have done more for him, then you ever have or ever will in your pathetic life. If it wasn't for the fact that I needed you, I would have tossed you aside a long time ago. Let Ritsuka pick up the pieces. Just like I had to do when Ritsu tossed you away. Treacherous bastard…" Seimei pulled out his pocket knife and nicked Soubi's arm with it for emphasis. "I mean it. Keep quiet. You don't want to know what I will do if you disobey me. You've angered me quite badly Soubi, and it may end badly for you. Now come. To the train station. We have a journey to make."
Numbly and silently, Soubi followed his master to the station. He looked over his shoulder to see if he could see Ritsuka still, but it appeared as though he had run off. No matter what Seimei said, Soubi knew that he couldn't be trusted near his own brother. And Soubi would die before he let Seimei touch one innocent hair on that boy's head. He wouldn't let the tragedy of death overtake his Ritsuka. He'd much rather let it overtake him first. It wasn't like it would matter if he died. Ritsuka would be sad, yes, but he could always replace him like Seimei had done with his new, true fighter; Akame Nisei. But in his attempts to prevent one tragedy, Soubi unknowingly caused another.