The world is freezing cold, snow of blood slowly falling down and solving into nothingness once it reaches the ground. The world is shivering and crying, desperately searching for a sparkle of hope in this darkness of despair. But Hyakuya Mikaela feels strangely warm as he slashes his way through bodies of terrified people, all weak, weak weak, way too weak to handle him. The world around him is dying and ending, but he doesn't mind as long as he reaches the one person he needs to find and keep safe. Mikaela has long lost the will to protect or save the world, maybe it wasn't even there to begin with. It has always been the people in it who mattered, the small amount of people he cared for, not those meaningless empty faces, for they only know how to betray and hurt. He knows it is inhuman to watch people die, even cause them to die, and not care for a second. But Hyakuya Mikaela is no longer a human being, so he kills those standing in his way, but is careful not to harm the innocent, because he sees his lost family in their terrified eyes.
One by one, they come at him, these useless, disgusting humans. If only they left him alone… he wouldn't even think of killing them as it would be a waste of time. The snow keeps falling down and mingles with blood when it touches the earth. It is a frightening sight of cold lost hope, but Mikaela can't find himself to be affected by it, as he keeps walking, eyes searching the battlefield for green eyes and the lights of life within them. His head hurts when he thinks about them, and it's pathetic how easily he remembers every detail of Yuu's face and body. He remembers the fire burning in his eyes when he fights for everything he believes in, fights against this ugly world. He remembers the way he looks away and a pink blush teases his cheeks when he's embarrassed, how he crosses his arms and avoids all eye contact. He remembers what he looks like when he lies, usually about caring and not caring and family, and he remembers the first time Yuu actually called him family without looking like that. He remembers goodbye and the tears falling down, and he remembers how he wanted to tell him not to cry, because his smile is way more beautiful, but he couldn't. He remembers the last words he told him in what seemed like a goodbye for forever and how much he regrets them, even though he knows screaming at him to go would have been the only thing to convince him. He remembers the exact look on his face before he ran away, and the relief that came with it, because he believed Yuu was finally safe. He was wrong, so terribly wrong. And he hates himself for it. The only thing he wants right now is to successfully save him from this ugly world and the even more ugly people living in it – vampire or human, it doesn't matter. They are all the same. Using, deceiving, hurting, destroying, only following their own interests. He needs to make Yuu understand this before it is too late. So Hyakuya Mikaela keeps walking, searching, growing restless when it takes so damn long to find him even though he knows Yuu must be here.
His mind wanders on the edge of despair and he tries so hard to keep it from going there, but he can't help touching some terrible, terrifying thoughts. What if it is already too late? What if he became a sacrifice here and now, lost and forgotten by the ones who betrayed him? What if that disgusting pool of blood over there in the distance once belonged to him? Mikaela feels nauseous and he covers his mouth with his gloved hand, dragging his body forward. Yuu, Yuu, Yuu… But all he sees are dozens of bodies lying on the ice cold ground awfully silent, and some silhouettes of both vampires and humans who are still fighting. It has been some time since the last human noticed him, which can only mean the battle is coming to an end. Mikaela has no clue who is on the upper hand right now, but he doesn't really care as long as that person is still safe.
And then, suddenly, as if he never spend a time that felt like hours searching for him, he sees him, and Mikaela stumbles in his steps and almost falls down. He is no more than a small pile of lost hope, down on his knees and his gaze cast downwards, his bangs hiding his eyes, but Mikaela can tell right away that it's him and it scares him. He wants to call his name, but finds himself nervous for some reason. Instead, he walks towards Yuu, his Yuu, his lost and broken Yuu. It hurts, it hurts, it hurts so much, Yuu shouldn't be like this, he should smile like the sun because that's what he always does. Darkness and despair do not suit him, so Mikaela will carry them for him.
'Yuu-chan…' he finds himself whispering when he kneels down beside him, and when their eyes meet Mikaela is frightened by the absence of the familiar lights in his beautiful green eyes. They are not there. The only thing left is sadness and pain.
'Mi…ka,' Yuu says and he averts his gaze, looking at his hands instead. They are covered with small cuts and scars, just like his face. 'I don't want this anymore, Mika. I don't want to lose anyone anymore. I'd rather die myself.' Yuu looks at him again and smiles, but the lights do not return and there is no happiness in his smile, only darkness. His words frighten him so much that it causes Mikaela to shiver and finally, finally, he feels as cold as the world around him. He can't find the words to say what he wants, so his lost sunshine goes first and speaks more misplaced, painful words.
'Hey Mika, why don't you kill me? You must hate me deeply for having left you behind that day, and besides, you're probably thirsty so maybe I can still be of use to you in some way.' He starts unbuttoning his uniform and baring his shoulder, but Mikaela catches his trembling hands and hugs him without realizing what he's doing and before he knows, he's screaming at him.
'You idiot! What are you even thinking? You would never ever lower yourself to livestock, idiot, idiot, idiot!' Mikaela is probably squeezing him and there are hot tears he didn't even know he was holding falling from his cheeks, and Yuu's body is warm against his and he fits so perfectly in his arms it makes him realize he missed him even more than he thought. The worst thing is that Mikaela ís thirsty – it's been a long time since he drank Krul's blood and Yuu smells good, so good… But he can't. He can't he can't he can't. Yuu finally answers his hug and wraps his arms tightly around his body and Mikaela wants to hug him even tighter and wants to kiss him and taste him and…
No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no!
Thirst dizzies him, clouds his vision, carries him. And oh my god Yuu smells perfect. Mikaela doesn't realize he's already drinking until Yuu whimpers a small sound of pain and oh god Yuu's blood tastes good, so so so good. But no what the fuck is he even doing, he can't drink the blood of the only one he wanted to protect, he should stop and let Yuu kill him now as the filthy vampire he is. He desperately tries to pull away, but he is oh so very thirsty and it tastes so good. Suddenly, there is a hand patting his hair and Mikaela stops, terrified of himself and what he's doing.
'It's okay, Mika,' Yuu whispers. 'Drink…'
Mikaela hates himself and the fact that his vampire urges are stronger than his own will, or maybe it's because those two things are actually one and the same… He wants to stop and he wants to get away from Yuu and he wants to apologize and kiss him but he wants to drink his blood. And he does and it tastes so wonderful it makes him want to cry. And he drinks, he drinks, until he can finally stop himself and he looks at Yuu and he is pale and not moving. Realization hits Hyakuya Mikaela as the world ends for him. He tries to scream Yuu's name but he can't hear, nor see or feel anything anymore. Everything is over. Pathetic, voices are screaming in his head, pathetic pathetic pathetic. Look at what you did, you killed the very thing you wanted to protect, you filthy vampire. Filthy vampire, filthy vampire, filthy vampire.
Hyakuya Mikaela wakes screaming, with wet, hot tears still burning on his cheeks. Yuu, Yuu, Yuu, Yuu! He immediately gets up and desperately searches his surroundings, until he realizes this was all a nightmare and there is no way of reaching Yuu and making sure he is alright now. For Yuu is miles away from him, and that is probably better, Mikaela thinks while replaying the terrible scenes of the dream in his mind. He lets himself fall back on the bed and buries himself under the blankets while curling up into a small ball of fear and disgust. emI'm a filthy vampire/em, he tells himself while searching for sleep againem. I am a filthy vampire and I have no right to be beside him./em The only thing he sees, that night and for many nights to come, are Yuu's bright green eyes losing their lights and life, caused by him and only him, the one who swore to protect him at all costs.