A/N I'm pretty sure we all know that I don't own Harry Potter.
This fic is a response to the "Dumb Ways to Die" Challenge prompt "Sell both of your kindneys on the Internet".
I am sure, dear reader, that if you are reading this you are aware of the wondrous gift to humanity that is the Internet. If you are like me, you have been making use of the Internet for years and cannot remember the first time you did so.
Ron Weasley remembers. Growing up in a Wizarding family, he had never been exposed to modern muggle technology. His first experience with the Internet was at a nice little muggle book store, and the owner, a kind old man, helped him to access it.
Ron left feeling very pleased with himself. He was on his way to properly understanding the mystery that was the muggles! He had to tell Hermione.
He found his girlfriend curled up in an armchair, pouring over what she would probably consider "a bit of light reading". She looked up as he entered the room.
"Hello, Ron. How was your day?"
A smile stretched across his face. "It was great! I went to a real muggle shop, and I used the Outernet!"
"You mean the Internet?"
"Yeah! That."
She smiled fondly at him. "That's wonderful, Ron."
He nodded, still grinning ear-to-ear. "I even made some money!"
Hermione frowned. "How?"
"I sold two of my kidneys! I'm getting a lot of money for it, too."
Her eyes widened. "Ronald Weasley! You only have two kidneys! You need them!"
The fiasco that followed made sure that Ron would never forget his first brush with the Internet... or the importance of retaining your kidneys.