Will I regret you, have I upset you, are you surprised
Give this girl her sunrise - Fay Wolf - The Beginning of Anne

Through it all Angela had one hope for something steady to keep her from going back to the way she was: angry, elusive, worthless and in pain. With time she knew the pressure would slip, her excuses would run out like they did yesterday, now she was face down on the floor with the buzz of alcohol running through her veins.

Faded echos of a familiar voices spoke around her, this always happened when she would drink, the past would slap her in the face over and over again. The only thing that would stop it was more pills, needles, alcohol and in the end all she would have was what she had when Tommy found her five years ago in the tub with her wrists cut: nothing.

-"Ang" it was the soft voice again and two pair of hands clutched around her waistline, she pushed herself with her hands up from the wooden floor to their bedroom.

Tommy´s heavy frame steadied her, the scent of him lingering in her nostrils as he picked her up in his arms sitting down with her on the floor, cradled her in his arms.

-"I cant do this, Tommy, I need a hit or something" she muttered, gripping the fabric of his shirt in her hands, she was shaking only as a terrified person would.
-"It´s okay" his arms squeezed around her naked body into his chest while kissing her forehead -"You just had a relapse, Ange, it will pass tomorrow"

She knew he was right, but right now all she could picture was her father´s hands on her, how he´d tell her to keep quiet or he´d try her sister´s room instead.

-"I hate him" she sobbed, hitting Tommy´s chest with her fist knowing he could take it, his pain was her pain and the other way around.

-"I know you do" his voice was sympathetic as he looked down on the naked woman in his arms and lap, he had found her in a worser state then this before when they where running from their demons.

The flashbacks of the war where nothing compared to seeing her selling her ass on the corner and pushing needles into her arm chasing the next high. Angela was a wonderful person, Tommy knew this, but it was her father, her entire family, they never believed a word she said when she finally spoke out about her father raping her.

Instead they took the easy route and ignored her, let her spiral out of control until she nearly took her own life and when her sister became an equally fucked up wreck as her they finally believe her, but then it was too late.

Something died in Angela when she started using and Tommy blamed himself for it mostly, that he didnt see it, she hid it all so well, especially in High School. When he did catch her they ran, they didnt stop until they hit the coast and he managed to get her to a methanol clinic where she sobered up for good, only to start drinking himself when his mother died.

Tommy saved Angela in the expense of not seeing his mother on her death bed, Tommy knew that Angela never quite forgave herself for that, because she loved Tommy´s mother just as much he did.

He forgave her though, just as much as she forgave him, and even when she was at her weakest he was none the better himself with holding her up, but she carried them both.

-"Come on, let´s get you into a cold shower"

Angela helped herself up, only to lean back on him again. The shower was cold as he stood there fully clothed under the water with her, holding her up as she cried into his shoulder begging God, him, anyone for forgiveness for the way her life had turned out. It killed him seeing her like this and all he could do was just watch.

-"I´m disgusting" she pressed her head against the wet material of his shirt, hands on each side of his chest not looking up at him.
-"No, you are not" he said trying to reach a hand around her waist, but she moved away barely being able to stand on both her feet.

-"How the fuck do you know that?" she yelled at him, her hair stuck to the front of her breasts, eyes red and hands shaking on the side of her naked body.

-"Because I love you, that´s why, now stop being stupid and come closer before you fall over" Tommy tried reaching for her waist only to get both of his hands slapped away, she was lit, the anger in her eyes visible to him and only against him.

-"Do you know what my father did to me?" her voice was calm, Tommy turned the water off taking out a towel that she slapped it away letting the fabric fall over the edge of the sink.

-"I know what you are trying to do" he picked the white towel up, unraveled it and draped it around the front of her body, she watched his face -"You should have let me die"

-"You want me to hate you?" he gazed up at her with his face in a open expression, putting his hands up, -"Will that make you feel better, Angela? That I told you how much you make my skin crawl and that I detest the very sight of you, hm?" Tommy´s accent was strong in the words he spoke to her and she felt weak again, which made her feel even worse.

Stepping out of the shower he followed her, trying to help her stand, but she snapped at him again:
-"I dont need your fucking help"

-"You know what" he forced the wet sweater off his body letting the heavy fabric fall on his side then opened the door to their bathroom, -"Here, get in the fucking bed so I can finally leave"

-"You can leave now" she spoke more calmly as he finally had it, his temper was at an all time high so he grabbed her by her arm picked her up in his arms while she squirmed, cursing and hitting him.

Tommy dropped her on the bed, -"Here you go, you made your fucking bed now sleep in it, I´ll be on the sofa" he grabbed his pillow as she threw hers at him, missing horribly -"You dick"

-"That´s right Ange, I´m a dick, I´m a sober dick that has been helping you get home from the bar after the owner called me complaining about some drunk bitch in his bar making a damn fool of herself" he raised his voice, grabbing her pillow off the floor and hitting her with it.
-"Now sleep it off"

The door slammed as he heard her screaming more profanities at him, Tommy had knowledge of her behavior as much as Angela was a saint she was also the biggest devil of them both.

-"I fucked someone else" she hollered after him, -"And he was better"

Tommy ran his hand over his wet hair opening the door again biting his bottom lip, this was it, he had over boiled with her bullshit. -"Of course you did Ange, you would spread your legs for anyone, but I´m the only one that can take having a whore like you as a girlfriend"

She threw the pillow in his direction again, getting up on her knees on the bed:
-"Well at least he knew how to fuck"

Tommy couldnt help but throw the pillow back at her, laughing sarcastically, -"Anyone with a dick can apparently fuck you better then I can, I sure as hell can find someone that can screw better then you too, kid, like Vicky at my gym, she has a nice ass"

There had been times in his life where Tommy Conlon had seen Angela furious, one time was at a bar they went to for his MMA fighting back in the day and he had talked to a blonde by the hotel bar, back at their room later that night she had thrown a lamp in his direction hitting his brow and cutting it so deep that he needed five stitches and had to cancel two matched because he got a concussion.

This moment was one of those where Angela couldnt keep her anger inside, she ran for him, dropping her towel in the process and grabbing a hand full of his hair, catching him completely off guard. He didnt want to hurt her, or hit her again like he had done before, so he let her have it, while she punched him hard in the face once, he finally got a grip on her arms.

-"I want out" she shrieked at the top of her lungs, -"I´m done with you!"
Tommy locked her arms up over her chest holding her as she squirmed against him with her ass poking at his crotch still trying to entail some type of damage on his body.
-"No you wont" he said tightening his grip on her making her surrender, he was stronger then her and she had to give up. -"YES I FUCKING WILL" she screamed louder, -"I fucking hate you beyond words, you fucking asshole of a human being"

-"No you dont" Tommy calmly grabbed her by her wrists turning her around to his chest, staring at the little firecracker in his grip, she was pushed away from his body completely naked and furious.

-"Now go back to bed" he spoke, -"If you hit me again, I will strike you back" he threatened, knowing she would listen to him, she was usually always scared of him when he lowered his voice and stared her down.
With a quick tug to get her hands back she picked her pillow up and went back into the bed.

-"I love you" he turned the lights off in the room, -"I´m leaving tomorrow" she hissed at him, Tommy shook his head leaving her be. She wouldn't leave, where the fuck would she go, he thought to himself when settling on the sofa.

Trying to find rest on the sofa was torturous, he was used to having Angela´s body next to his and the sofa was way to small for his size, so he took his pillow and went back up to their bedroom after an hour or so. Cracking the door open, letting the light from the hallway slip into their dark room.

Angela´s body was moving and when he heard her crying he slipped in closing the door behind him, slipping into their bed. Her shoulders where cold when he touched them and eminently to his response she curled up against him stretching a arm around his waist, digging her nails into his skin, crying harder.

-"Shh, I´m here" he breathed into her hair stroking it feeling how tiny she was compared to him and the guilt of being cruel to her set in, he had taken it too far.

-"I just want this to stop" her tears stained his arm as she pressed her lips to his.

-"Make me forget, please" she let out a strangled cry still sobbing, Tommy rolled her over on her back as she shedding more tears, -"It´s alright" he mused his lips against her stomach kissing down until he hit her clit, Angela grabbed a hold of his hair tugging and brushing her fingers through it.

Tommy´s tongue and mouth moved over her cunt making her legs shake and voice whimper.

He noticed how her crying was slowly dying down as he locked his fingers with hers trying to calm her down, -"Tell me you love me" she hummed digging her fingertips into his knuckles.

Tommy kissed his way up her inner thigh, moving back to her stomach, pinning her hands over her head laying down between her legs pressing his weight on her.

She was still so cold and even in the dark he could see the mirror of her face all puffy eyed and tears rolling, he kissed her breast, full mouthed and flickered his tongue over her nipple getting a hold of it and sucking full heartedly.

Angela let out a strangled another half cry-half moan from her chest, which made him harder. -"Tell me you love me, please" she continued, grabbing his face in her hands, as he kissed her face, one peck at a time: eyes, cheeks, jawline and when he got to her earlobe his voice crackled and breathed: -"I love you" as his hands traveled from the side of her breast to between their bodied pushing himself into her.

Angela bundled up around his body like a child, arms around his neck, hands gripping onto the skin on his shoulder blades, legs helping him push into her.

They moved like this in a rhythm, back and forth, strangled by each others moans and warmth, Tommy rested his face into the crook of her neck, holding onto her hips as he rocked over her, arching his back following the feeling of her chest heave when she gasped and breathed into his shoulder.

-"It´s okay" he said softly into her neck, stroking higher up on her stomach so his hips could rest on top of hers, he stopped when he felt himself coming close.

-"Look at me" his voice was husky founding her eyes in the dark, -"I want you to look at me when you come, alright?"

His lips grazed on top of hers while she breathed into them, not leaving his eyes when he continued to move again.

Their fingers laced into one and other once more as he set up the pace thrusting into her, -"God, Tommy, please dont let me go" she moaned into his mouth, eminently to that request he pushed both his arms under her body moving her up from the mattress onto his lap, holding her as she moved up and down on him still clutching onto his body harder.

-"Look at me" his breathing speeded up, lips full and pushing up against hers to strangle her moans, she brushed her finger into his hair and rested her forehead on his as he guided his palms up her back, feeling her tighten around him and come with a small painful moan like she was letting go of everything.

Tommy followed from the notion of her clutching around him finding his release in a grunt then holding her body as they both calmed down, finding a steady pace of breathing.

They fell back into the bed as Tommy grabbed her thigh leading it around his torso, pressing the palm of his hand up against her back and nuzzled her neck. Remembering how they would sleep like this when they lived in Philly and the worst shakes of her high would ravage through her body, he missed it oddly enough even if it was the darkest period of their relationship, but she depended on him more and he liked that.

Angela finally calmed down once the touch of her skin hit his, the cold body that was hers stopped shaking and she warmed up due to his massive body heat.

He kept stroking her hair from the root down to her shoulders, draping his arms further up her back to feel her closer to him.

Angela breathed gently to his skin not saying anything, Tommy enjoyed the peace, although he knew that they would have to talk about this, seeing that Tessa had been taken from them and he knew very well this was the only reason Angela was having her meltdown.

-"I love you Angela" he kissed her forehead sweetly.
-"I´m sorry" she said again.
-"Dont worry about it"

She didnt seem to listen this time, looking up at him, -"I never slept with anyone else"

-"I know, or I´d be behind bars for murdering a man" his voice rumbled against her chest as she put her hand to his face, touching his lips, -"Your the best I ever had, sex wise, so I lied about that too"

-"Thats obvious" he answered cocky waiting for her to hit him, but she didnt, instead she just rested her head back on his chest.

He kissed her forehead for the second time, breathing her in and settling to sleep, -"I´ll look after you, kid"