A/N: Hi! So, ohmygod iLMM just happened and I am dying. GAH. Alrighty, so, here is my obligatory iOMG fic. Technically, I did post "iTangled" on iOMG night, but it wasn't a fic about iOMG or any of that, so I don't count it. Anyway, this is iOMG from six different perspectives. Enjoy! Review! Spaz over the upcoming arc! WHOO! :D
Disclaimer: Really? No.

iCan't Believe I Just Did That

My senses returned to me with the lightning-fast speed of a doped-up sloth ambling through molasses.

Oh shit, shit, shit, shit.

When I finally realized what I was doing, I pulled my lips off Freddie and backed up a couple steps. He was staring at me, looking understandably bewildered.

I didn't have anything to say. I was too busy internally beating myself up, because what the fuck did I think I was doing? I just kiss-attacked Freddie out of nowhere.

What did I think was going to happen? That he was gonna reciprocate? That he was going to take me in his arms and say, "Oh, Sam, guess what? I'm actually secretly in love with you too; let's go eat chili dogs and make out"?

I'm so stupid.

Even though that was a whole lot of thought-vomit, it was only a few seconds of us staring at each other, shell-shocked by my idiocy, until Freddie spoke.

Or, you know, tried to speak, anyway. "I – uh – " was about all he could get out.

I was about three seconds away from drowning in awkward. "Sorry," I said blandly.

What else was I going to say? "Yep, so, surprise! I'm wildly in love with a nub named Freddie Benson, you lucky son-of-a-bitch, you! Let's go eat chili dogs and make out"?

I can't believe how stupid I am.

I had to escape.

"It's cool," Freddie said back. He looked away from me, thank God, but then he looked back at me, God damn it, waiting for…well, an explanation of what the hell I had just done, I guess.

And I didn't have one. Well. Not a good one. Only the stupid truth.

I broke eye contact, finding fascination in a blue bike locked to the rack over by the library door.

(I can't believe I basically admitted I'm in love with him. Sam Puckett never admits anything. Stupid, stupid.)

I could still feel him staring at me, and I hated it. I hated the feeling of his confusion boring into my head.

I almost wanted him to say something. Anything. He didn't, of course. He was just standing there, staring at me, waiting for me.

And I was dying of mortification. So I did what I do best – I ran away.

I mean, not actually literally run. Every muscle in my body begged me to bolt, but I'd be damned if I didn't reclaim at least a little dignity.

So I put on my best Sam Puckett Doesn't Give a Rat's Ass face of mild, good-natured boredom, twisting my lips to one side. "Welllll," I said slowly, moving past Freddie, back towards the library, while swinging my arms in the most nonchalant manner I could manage (meanwhile, thinking, I look like a pubescent gorilla). "I'm just…gonna…" And I trailed off at that, thanking God that I was close enough to my escape door that I could slip through it without trying to finish my sentence.

I hate him so much.

I hate that he does this to me.

I hate that I lost control.

I hate that I'm totally in love with him.

Oh my God, I've gone crazy.