Echoes

~x~
"What are you drawing?" Riku asked, looking up from the game he was playing.

"It's a secret," Namine responded not looking up from her drawing.

"You always say that, you know," He noted.

"Doesn't that mean you should stop asking?" Namine retorted a smile pulling at her pale pink lips.

"I'd wager that it would actually be easier to just tell me," He responded with a smirk on his face.

"If I tell you that ruins the surprise," Namine answered, tucking a strand of sunflower colored hair behind her ear as she continued her sketch. She bit her lip hoping that Riku didn't figure out that the subject of her drawing was actually him. Namine spent the next few minutes glancing up at him when she was sure he was to engrossed in his game to notice, attempting to fill her mind's eye with as many details of the boy next to her as possible. Observing the subtle muscle definition of his chest and arms to the way his hair – which surely obstructed his vision- hung over his eyes and fell past his ears.

Namine hoped to the gods that Riku couldn't see the blush that was most definitely gracing her cheeks. 'Focus, Namine…Don't get distracted.' She took a deep breath concentrating on her sketch letting the comfortable silence that had settled between the two calm her nerves. Minutes had passed before Riku broke the silence once again causing Namine to start.

"Why are you so adamant on not letting people see your work until you finish it?"

"B-because…" Namine started, biting her lip. "It's embarrassing."

"Embarrassing? Why?" he asked closing his game and returning the device to his pocket.

"It's like…I don't know, it's personal, you know? I put my heart in to everything I work on. It's kind of intimate.. It's like I'm showing you-" Namine paused trying to figure out how to word her thoughts, a smoldering blush tinging her cheeks. "It's like showing off my underwear…"

"Oh~? do tell." He responded smirking and waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"You ass!" She retorted, swatting at her friend with her sketchbook repeatedly.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry!" Riku wheezed between his laughter as he shielded himself from the small girl's wrath.

"Hmph," She pouted, ending her assault and crossing her arms.

"Oh, come on, don't be that way I was only joking! Forgive me?"

More pouting.

"Alright, how about we go get some food?"

Namine could feel her resolve wavering but she kept her arms crossed. She was only doing it to teach him a lesson. Not because she loved being spoiled by him or anything. 'Keep telling yourself that.'

"Okay, look my treat. Will you forgive me then?"

"…Only if we go to my favorite café." She responded trying to stifle the smile that was worming it's way on to her lips.

"Paopu's? Don't they close soon after sundown?"

"I suppose we better hurry then, hm?"

"Ugh, alright fine." Riku griped, standing up from his seat across from Namine. "C'mon, we better get going if we want to get there on time." He said, walking over to Namine and extending a hand to help her off her beanbag chair.

"Thanks..." Namine mumbled tucking her hair behind her ear in an attempt to hide her flushed cheeks as he pulled her to her feet.

"You hit like a girl by the way." He said, smirking.

"You!" Namine shouted, chasing after him as he ran to the door.

~x~

Namine awoke feeling hollow. More so than her nightmares ordinarily left her feeling. She wondered blearily why this one was so much different than they normally were, so much more peaceful. There weren't any remnants of the fear and dread and guilt that plagued almost every morning when she woke up. If that was the case, why did this one hurt considerably more? Sluggishly, she sat up, her eyes closed and her head in her hands. 'This again…' She thought bitterly. Frustrated, she swiped at the tears that had begun formed and stared at the wall in front of her.

For a while she just sat there quietly trying to center her thoughts. Picking up her phone from the night stand next to her bed she noted there was a missed call from her father (when wasn't there) and two texts; one from her sister Kairi and another from Larxene. 'It can wait.' She thought.

She checked the time on and groaned dropping it on to her pillow. She was definitely late.

'No sense in rushing now…'

She swung her feet over the edge of her bed and sighed. With a yawn, she stood slowly and started her morning routine, making her way to her bathroom. After removing her nightgown and slipped out of her undergarments stepping in to the shower.

…

After her shower Namine padded over to the sink, drying her hair on the way. Looking the mirror, she paused her attention caught by the scar on her shoulder and frowned. She couldn't help but glare at the discolored mark, eventually doing the same for the scar that bisected her left eyebrow. She hated them. How they looked, how they felt. How they reminded her. Kairi insisted that they added character - whatever that meant. – but Namine didn't care. If given the chance she would get rid of them in a heartbeat.

Gingerly, she ghosted a lithe finger across the surface wincing a bit as it passed over. The scar had always been sensitive but it always seemed like it was more so whenever she had a dream about Riku - which Namine supposed was irrelevant since she had them pretty often. Namine loosed a sigh and continued her routine, avoiding her reflection for the rest of her time in front of the mirror.

Once she had finished her morning regimen and had dressed herself, Namine made her way toward the front door of her apartment. Her stomach growled but – as she did most mornings – she ignored it and grabbed her satchel. Looking herself over one more time she exited the apartment and made her way down the stairs and toward the front of the apartment building. She briefly considered driving herself but decided against it. She despised driving as it was but after her dream she was even less inclined to use her car.

Walking in the direction to the bus stop she looked in her bag to make sure she had brought her sketchbook. The Traverse Town bus wasn't the most unreliably late bus line ever but it'd still take some time for it to arrive and drop her off at the campus. She took a seat at the bus stop and began to observe various things in her surroundings, taking time to find someone in particular to draw. People were always her favorite subjects to try to capture in her artwork – there was something raw, and authentic about sketching a someone who was unaware. She had focused on an elderly man who was tending a small garden that was nestled between two nearby buildings. People passed him and the garden by without even a passing glance but Namine could tell that he had no shortage of passion for the meager flowerbed he was nurturing. Despite her current mood Namine couldn't help the small smile that had wormed its way on to her lips as she continued to sketch the old man across the street from her. She had become completely engrossed in her art, oblivious of the young boy that had stopped to watch her draw.

After a bit of time the man had left, his garden no longer needing his attention. Namine sighed but continued her sketch from memory. A frown gracing her features as she tried to recall the image in her minds' eye.

"Whatcha drawin' lady?' the boy inquired causing Namine to start. Quickly she shut her sketchbook and replaced it in her bag.

"Uhm…nothing." Namine responded, covering her face slightly to hide her embarrassment.

"Are you hiding it because you're bad at drawin'?"

"I am not bad at art, thank you very much." She answered pinning him with her meanest glare. The boy asked cocking his head to the side in a manner similar to a confused dog.

"So, why'd you hide it then?"

'Please go away, I don't want to deal with this right now.'

"Because it's none of your business and I don't want to share, that's why." Namine hated her voice. Her best 'go away, I'm in a bad mood' voice sounded more like a 'I need a hug and a pat on the head' voice instead. It was always too soft and gentle even when she wanted to sound angry.

"You don't hafta cry, you want some candy? My mommy says not to take candy from strangers but giving it is okay, right?". The child reached into his pocket and handed the blonde what appeared to be a pack of gummy chews.

"Wha- I'm not going to cry! And I don't want any candy,"

"My mommy told me that candy always cheer girls up so I'm givin' it to ya!"

Before Namine could respond the boy started to run off.

"Wait!" Namine called, grabbing the boy by the wrist. "Uhm...Why'd you want to cheer me up?" Namine asked, her voice faltering a bit. Was she really so easy to read that a child could see how unhappy she was?

"Mommy says pretty girls look the best when they smile, and you weren't smiling anymore."

Namine considered giving the boy a kiss on the cheek at hearing his response but couldn't bring herself to do something so embarrassing and instead reached in to her satchel and opened her wallet, removing five-hundred munny. She ruffled the boys' hair causing him to frown.

"Hey! Cut it out lady!" He swatted at her hand but wasn't fast enough to catch her before she moved it.

"This is for you. It's a thank you for trying to cheer me up." She offered the five-hundred munny to him causing his eyebrows to shoot upward. Namine nodded for him to take the proffered munny. "Go on, it's all yours. You can get some more candy with it."

The boy accepted the money tentatively as if it would disappear if handled too roughly. He thanked Namine excitedly and once again ran off down the sidewalk. He stopped a ways away from her and turned around.

"Bye, art lady!" The child shouted, waving happily at her. Despite herself Namine couldn't help but smile and wave at the boy as he left.

…

The ride to campus was uneventful. Namine spent most of the ride staring out the window she'd been sitting next to watching trees and auburn colored rooftops pass by. Every so often she could hear Riku's voice, echoes of his nonchalant laugh and smooth voice plaguing her thoughts. She closed her eyes attempting to focus on something – anything else.

She stayed that way until the bus stopped outside the campus and exited. She made her way from the bus stop toward the main hall of the college barely paying attention to the throng of students that she passed on her way to where her current class was located. Some were eating lunch in the shade of the various trees scattered about grassy areas and others were hurriedly making their way to their own destinations. Taking a deep breath, she squeezed her way past a group of students conversing by the entrance, hoping the professor wouldn't notice her.

"Nice of you to join us Namine." The professor called to her interrupting her lesson. "I'd like to speak to you after the lecture is over If you wouldn't mind." She finished. Namine nodded in response and found a seat near the middle of the lecture hall jotting down notes of the information that was already present on the large board the professor was standing in front of. Satisfied, the instructor returned her attention to the equations and various methods to solving them.

The rest of the lecture was – if Namine was being honest – very boring. Namine normally enjoyed this class, math came very easy to her but her moodiness was keeping her from enjoying the subject as much as she usually did. It didn't help that the entire time she could feel someone's eyes watching her from behind. For a while she tried to ignore the feeling but as the class went on she became more and more curious. She turned to look and locked eyes with a brunette who couldn't be much older than she was.

Her chocolate tresses were tied in a two-pigtail style that framed her face on either side which seemed rather childish for a college student to have but it didn't look wrong on her. She had round curious eyes that were a startlingly deep shade of green. The girl gave Namine a small almost knowing smile, prompting her to look away with a slight flush.

'What was that?' she thought. 'Do I know her? Does she know me?'

Namine barely paid attention to the rest of the lecture trying to figure other girl had smiled at her the way she did. It wasn't strange to smile at people per say but it was something about her smile that Namine couldn't forget about. She was so preoccupied by trying to decipher what the look had meant that she didn't notice that class had ended and almost all of the students had left the room.

"Namine?" A voice called snapping the blonde out of her reverie causing her to start. "Come to my desk, please. It will be easier to talk from a reasonable distance."

She nodded her response and stood, stuffing the notes she'd taken in to her bag and shuffled her way to the middle of the room where the professors desk resided.

"Uhm..." Namine squeaked, cursing herself for her perpetually timid voice. "If this about me being late, I had trouble with my car and had to take a bus instead…" She half lied. "I'm sorry, it won't happ-"

"It's not about that, well not entirely. You being tardy is an issue but you're a good student, a fantastic one at that. But I've noticed that you've been becoming increasingly distant recently." The woman paused, regarding Namine with a thoughtful look. "You've always been a moderately quiet girl I understand that, but you've seemed more – well frankly – you seem to be depressed lately. Is everything alright?" Namine was taken aback. This had been the last thing she'd expected the professor to talk with her about. She didn't know how to respond.

"U-uhm, I…" Namine fidgeted under the instructors concerned gaze. What was she supposed to say? What could she say? 'Oh, hey teach, there's nothing wrong really. I just occasionally wish I were dead and sometimes find it hard to get out of bed is all, don't worry.' Best case scenario she'd take it as a joke and wouldn't send her to one of the campus counselors.

"I get it, I'm just your math professor, but as an instructor I want to nurture my students as well as teach them. You can trust me, if something's bothering you I want to help." Something in Namine's chest clenched at that. She took in a breath preparing to answer her teacher but the words died in her throat. It's not that she didn't want to talk to someone about what she was dealing with. It was just…

'What would be the point…?' She thought numbly. Telling someone wouldn't change anything. Telling someone wouldn't change the fact that every passing day she hated herself more and more. Telling someone wouldn't give her the life she lost back. Telling someone was worthless. Namine sighed, struggling to control the emotions that had surfaced. If she cried she would immediately be found out.

"I'm fine, professor. I..." She faltered. "I just need some more rest is all. Thank you, though." Namine gave her best smile to reassure her. For a moment, she wasn't sure that it worked as the woman studied her for what seemed like an eternity.

"Alright," She conceded. If she was suspicious she hid it well. "Just know that I'm here for you if you ever want to talk about anything. You aren't alone Namine." Namine nodded, her smile still present as she turned to leave hoping that she hadn't seen through her facade.

She quickly left the lecture hall and hastily exited the building entirely. Taking a deep shaky breath, she tried to calm herself. After a few more lungful's, she grabbed her phone – ignoring the missed call from her father again – and looked through her recent messages to find the one Larxene had sent earlier.

'Hey rich girl, we're hanging out today. I'm bored.' It read. A demand. Namine wasn't bothered by it though; that's just how Larxene was. It's what Namine wanted anyway. She wanted a distraction, something to take her mind off her emotions and Larxene if nothing else was a great distraction. Not that Namine thought nothing else of Larxene it was just… Larxene was simple. She didn't have to think when she was with Larxene, she didn't have to pretend to be feeling better than she was or hide her emotions because Larxene probably didn't care to begin with.

Namine hit the call button and waited. One ring. Two rings. A third. After the fourth ring, she was sure that she wouldn't answer out of spite for not responding to her text. Before she could hang up though she heard Larxene on the other end.

"So, you aren't dead. That's a relief, you had me worried." She started. "I mean… who else was I going to bum munny off of if you kicked the bucket?" She finished, the concerned tone she had early replaced by one of mocking.

"Sorry. I had – have class." Namine corrected herself, suddenly thinking that maybe she shouldn't have called Larxene after all...

"Whatever. Just skip the rest. You're loaded anyway, what do you need to go college for?" She questioned.

"My –" Namine began but was immediately interrupted.

"Actually, don't answer that. I don't really care. Get your ass to my place, I feel like drinking."

"I didn't take my car."

"Well, why not? Gods it's like you make it your life's goal to piss me off. Where are you, the campus?"

"Yes…" Namine replied.

"Wait there, I'm on the way. And I hope you're not wearing something boring, we're going to Marluxia's."

"Alright… I'll meet you at the front, okay?" Namine waited for an answer but soon realized that Larxene had already hung up.

Namine would just spend the rest of the day with Larxene and forget about everything. Forget her nightmares, forget school, forget herself and things would be simple.