Hello readers. Deadpool here and ready to give you a commentary on the first episode of X-men Evolution episode 1 Strategy X. I really cannot wait for my part, I bet it will be brilliant. I do not own X-men Evolution because then it would be called the Deadpool show.
Ok so we start in the school which is really boring. But the girls are hot though. Some dude just got his photo taken by the red headed one (I have something she can take a photo of). One eye is playing with a coin (thank god it wasn't something else) and drops it (same joke applies...sort of). At the same time this happens frogboy is happy stealing cash but then the bullies/footballer arrive and try to beat him up. One eye managed to save frogboy but ends up blowing up the snack shack instead (sat here crying as I realise that includes the tacos).
Then the opening titles came up. HANG ON, WHERE AM I? Seriously they have the spikey b*****d and not ME! This is an outrage.
Then wheels arrives and controls people mind into believing it was the propanes fault. Redhead gives one eye his glasses and then goes to talk to boyfriend. Frogboy says thanks to one eye and then wheels leaves to catch a train. That is probably when I come in.
They wait for a guy called 'Kurt' which is funny because my name is Wade. You would think they know that. A guy walks out of the train covered in robes or whatever (probably me before my suit. I wonder what it would be like?).
Some dude is on a bike buying a newspaper and water. I think it might be my buddy from weapon X but he only drinks beer (and lots of it). But oh no he is being watched by some blond dude who looks like a wrestler/vampire crossover. I wonder if the guy on the bike was me? I love bikes and I cut things up a lot, I don't really care for recycling though.
So then one eye is waiting for redhead to finish in the bathroom (calm down this is a kids show). She walks out after stroking his chin which made me laugh because I know something else she could stroke (my swords). Then they get introduced to me. Wait for it 3,2,1...WHAT! I'm not blue or German, oh come on thats the blue elf. Seriously I thought they wanted this to be good? Well, maybe not. They all exchange greeting and one eye is apologising for his bazooka eyes.
Frog boy is called into the principals office and they end up talking about one eye and knowing things (which frog boy isn't very good at). The principal turns into a blue monster thingy to scare frog boy but I'm more scared that she has the voice of a man.
The blue elf guy is given a room and a watch that makes him look normal (not much of an improvement though) and then given an X-man uniform. Wow he even has the same colours as me.
Frog boy and one eye are then talking about jumping and glasses plus lunch, which reminds me, when is my pizza coming? Oh well, someone is in trouble though.
One eye then talks to wheels about frog boy (way to talk about someone behind their backs). Blue elf is then talked through Cerebro (does anyone ever wonder about how they got that in there without anyone questioning it when it is being installed? Really, no one. Ok).
Weather girl then gets frog boy to enter the mansion in which the blue elf and frog boy have some sort of teleporting/jumping wrestling match that land them in the danger room. One eye and redhead try to help them out with the laser canons (which are perfectly safe for putting teenagers in by the way). Weather girl arrives and uses lightning after the blue elf pulls the plug on one. Wheels finally manages to shut it off (They should've just got a nice big red button, they make everything better). Frog boy and blue elf then leave.
Frog boy then meets the mysterious bike stranger who turns out to be...'sigh' badgerman or whatever he calls himself now.
Blue elf and one eye starts talking about the blackbird (Ok seriously, no one even wondered why a school has a military grade jet!) which manages to convince him to stay, the blackbird is fun though.
The principle then yells at the frog boy about running away from the mansion. Frog boy runs out and then REALLY the blue girl, mysterious or whatever she calls herself. Then the only German ever to have a British accent is revealed to be standing behind the window Michael Myers style but still manages to scare the blue girl with paper clips.
Then the ending credits start but still no me, really? They have everyone else. Maybe there is an after credit video, oh no there is not.
I thank you readers for reading this and please review (please note that any bad reviews will result in the immediate decapitation of the commenter). I give this episode ⅘ stars for being a good debut episode but it did not have me which really makes it 0/5. What episode should I review next? The one with me perhaps (what is it called though?)