AN: So I am a recent fan of BtVS. Needless to say this show is one of the best shows that has ever been on television and Joss Whedon is a genius. Tara and Willow are my favorite couple and I cried like a little baby when Tara died. So, this story is set sometime after Family in Season 5. Tara has a nightmare and comfort and adorableness ensues. It's a little heavy towards the beginning, but then gets much fluffier.
AN2: Obviously, none of these characters belong to me. If they did, things would be much different. Also, it's not beta-ed so all the mistakes belong to me. I would love to hear your feedback. Enjoy!
It's late. I know it's late. I know that I have four, maybe five, hours until I have to be up for class. I know I should probably get some sleep. Between studying for finals, helping Buffy patrol, and pouring over Giles' massive collection of texts, this week has been crazy. My body is so exhausted, but my eyes won't close. It's like my brain is on overdrive from all the information I've been putting into it. That really doesn't help at two o'clock in the morning. I feel like I've tried everything: counting sheep, meditation, even a spell. Still, no luck.
The same can't be said for the pretty girl lying next to me, thank God. Somewhere between color coding my Western Civ notes and finishing my Psych paper, Tara fell asleep. Now she is out cold with her head on my chest; our legs are in a tangled mess underneath the covers and she has one arm draped across my tummy. I can feel the hum of her slow, steady breathing and attempt to mimic it, with the hopes that maybe it will help me fall asleep sometime soon. I can't help but stare at her though. She looks so peaceful when she sleeps. Looking at her, I can almost pretend that we don't live on a Hellmouth, that we don't have to fight demons every day. I place a kiss on the top of her head and let my fingers lazily trace patterns across her soft, delicate skin. Wow she's beautiful. I don't even think she realizes how beautiful she is. Getting to call her my girlfriend makes me feel like the luckiest person on the entire planet. After Oz left, I never thought I would find anyone else and then boom, there she was. Granted I was a little shocked that she was a girl, but I got over that real quick. All I know and care about is that she makes my days brighter and I don't think I could love someone any more than I love her. It was really nice that everyone else was so cool with it too though, even if it took some getting used to at first.
And to think, this may never have happened either. I mean, as terrifying as that whole ordeal was, I'm so glad Tara went looking for me when those creepy Gentlemen guys were in town. Yikes. They definitely gave me the heebie-jeebies. The way they floated around, not to mention those creepy, forced smiles. Ick. So not pleasant.
I shudder at the memory. As if on cue, I feel Tara's body begin to tense as a series of whimpers escape her lips. This happens every once in a while, so at first I think nothing of it; bad dreams are part of living in Sunnydale, well at least since the Hellmouth opened. There's something not right about it this time though. It's longer and more intense than most of the other ones. Usually she calms back down after a few minutes, but now it just seems to be getting worse. Whimpers turn into mumbled, unintelligible words that gradually become clear enough so I can make them out.
"No. No, please don't." Uh oh that doesn't sound good. I've heard her talk in her sleep before, but never with pain laced in her voice. I can't think of anything to do except try to wake her up without completely freaking her out.
"Tara. Tara baby wake up." I say as I gently shake her shoulder.
Suddenly Tara's body begins to thrash about on our bed. "No! No please. Please don't!" I can see the tension in her face as she continues to cry out.
"Tara. Tara honey you're okay. You just gotta wake up." This has definitely never happened before. The panic in my voice continues to rise until I'm finally able to wake her. She sits up with a start, lungs gasping for air, tear filled eyes frantically searching for some unknown threat.
"Hey, baby its okay." I say in the most soothing voice I can manage. She can't know that I am just as freaked as she probably is. "Tara, honey. It's alright. You're alright. You're safe. You're with me in the dorm okay?"
"W-Willow?.." Tara takes one look at me and I swear my heart breaks into a million tiny pieces. I have never seen my girl so broken. Tears begin to stream down her face and she all but collapses into my arms. Sobs rack her body as she clings to me for dear life. Oh God. This is terrible. I feel tears prickle the corners of my eyes. It's awful seeing her in so much pain. It takes every ounce of strength still in my body just to hold it together and not cry with her.
"Shh.. Shh. Baby. It's okay. You're okay. It was just a dream." I keep whispering reassurances in her ear until finally the sobs subside and her breathing evens out again. After a few minutes, she sits up as if startled and quickly moves to the other side of the bed, facing me.
"W-Willow. I'm s-sorry. I-I didn't mean to.." I can't bear to see her like this, but I don't know what to do. Instinct takes over and I place a gentle kiss on her lips, effectively preventing her cute but unnecessary ramblings.
"Tara honey why are you apologizing? You never have to apologize for having a bad dream. It happens."
"I-It's just.." But her lip starts quivering before she can finish talking.
"Shh. Baby it's okay." I hold both of her hands in mine. "It happens to all of us. It's almost like an initiation. You can't really be a Scooby until you have demons starring in your dreams every night." I say with a slight chuckle, hoping it will make her feel a little better.
"B-But it d-didn't have any demons in it." She lowers her head as if ashamed. Great Willow. Way to make your girlfriend feel like crap. You're sure doing a fantastic job at this comfort thing.
"Hey, baby look at me." I tilt her chin up. "It's okay. That's okay too. Do you want to talk about it? I mean you don't have to. It just might make you feel better."
"B-But. It's l-late and we b-both h-have a lot going on tomorrow. I don't w-want to k-keep you up."
"It's okay, really. I couldn't sleep right now if my life depended on it anyway. Too much stuff going on." I can see the anxiety in her face. She just woke up terrified and she's worried about me. That won't do. "Come here. It'll be okay. I promise." I tug at her hands until she moves into my arms.
Neither of us speak for a while. I can tell from the quiet that Tara is at war with herself. I wish there was something I could do to make all this go away, but nothing comes to mind. I know she'll tell me eventually though, so I continue to hold her until she feels like talking. After a few minutes I start to think Tara might have drifted off again. I wouldn't blame her. All that crying definitely would've wiped me out. I shut my eyes and try to get some sleep when I hear her mumble something that my now sleepy brain can't quite make out. She clears her throat and starts again before I can open my eyes all the way.
"It was about home. M-My dream. It was a-a bunch of old m-memories." I guess I shouldn't be shocked. The only time I met her family was when they tried to take her away from us. Yeah I didn't like them much.
"What happened?" I'm a little scared for the response, but I force myself to get over it and be there for her. I know she would do the same for me.
"M-My dad." She sucks in a breath before continuing. "He and m-my brother w-weren't the easiest p-people to l-live with. E-Especially once my mom got s-sick. After she d-died, it got really b-bad."
"Oh baby." If my heart wasn't broken already, it definitely is now. "I'm.. I'm so sorry. He didn't?.." But the look on her face says it all. "Oh God. He hurt you didn't he!" It's almost impossible for me to hide the whirlwind of emotions that have suddenly taken over me. I don't understand. How could anyone ever do such a thing?! And to their own daughter no less!
"It was n-never that bad. He only ever h-hit me when I broke the r-rules. And it's over n-now anyways. I never h-have to see them a-again."
"That still doesn't make it right! And besides, your dad doesn't seem like the kind of person who has reasonable rules." I bet I'm right too, especially with all that demon nonsense he tried to pull on us.
"Will.."
"No Tara. Don't say that him hitting you was ever justifiable! I bet it was for stupid things like forgetting to say please or not making your bed or something else even more ridiculous that I can't think of at the moment."
I can hear my heart pounding in my ears like I just ran a marathon or something. I've never been this angry before. Not ever. It's just, the thought of someone laying a hand on my girl is almost unbearable.
"If he was anywhere near me right now, forget magic, I would probably strangle him with my bare hands." Crap. I just said that out loud. That was supposed to stay in my head. "Oh God. Tara I'm sorry. I didn't.. I-I never meant to.." Wow Willow, you really did it now. "It's just, I love you so much and the thought of you having to live like that scares me way more than any demon we've ever had to fight, even the really slimy, gross ones. And I don't want you to be sad anymore and I just wanted to be here for you and fix everything and.. Now I'm starting to babble.. I think that's my cue to shut up." Tara smiles her adorable little half smile, probably at the silly look on my face.
"I know you didn't mean it Will."
"Oh. Okay good. Because I.." But I'm stopped by a big yawn. Okay I could probably fall asleep now.
"M-Maybe we should get some sleep."
"But.." What if she's not okay and then has another nightmare in like five minutes. Then I would feel like the worst girlfriend in the history of girlfriends.
"I'm okay now Will. Promise. But, you know what would make me feel even better?"
"I don't know, what?"
"You. Laying right here. Cuddling with me."
"Hmm I think I can manage that." Good thing, because Tara snuggles are exactly what I need right now. I lie down and Tara curls into my side as I pull the covers over us. I can feel her body slowly relax against mine and pretty soon our breathing falls into a familiar, slow rhythm.
"Hey Willow?"
"Hmm?" I say just as I'm about to finally drift off. I can feel her move; I open my eyes to see her staring right into them.
"It's you. You're what makes me feel better. No matter what else is happening. I'll always be okay as long as I have you." She pauses for a second."I love you." I feel her soft lips against mine just for a moment before she settles back in against my side. I place one last kiss on the top of her head.
"I love you too."