Unavoidable Decisions

Disclaimer(s): I don't own any of these characters. I'm just playing around with them for the hell of it!

Language: English

Rating: M for language and sexual themes

Characters: Gwen/Jack. I've always been fond of them together and, as much as I love Ianto, I wanted to try out pairing them up together. Also, I'm not a big fan of Rhys, so he had to skedaddle!

The screen in front of her went blurry for a moment, rectified itself, then head dived back into illegibility. God, she really needed a break. Gwen sat back, hands over her eyes and temples; they were pulsating and she could feel one hell of a migraine coming on. Hopefully she could last till she got home. Her hands, cold from being stuck out in front of her manipulating the computer for hours, felt lovely on her skin. Why bother with cold compresses when you could just starve your extremities of blood for a while and use them? One part of her hand was substantially colder than the rest. Gwen shuddered when she remembered the ring looped over the fourth digit on her left hand; she had only been married two weeks, barely back from her honeymoon, but the gold bangle brought her no happiness.

How could she admit that the reason she stayed so late at work, later than Owen or Ianto or even Tosh, was because she couldn't go home? Well she could, technically, but she didn't want to. Dreaded it, would be the appropriate word choice. She had barely survived the honeymoon, wracked with guilt, trying desperately to Rhys happy and to force herself to be happy as well. And look what it got her, she thought to herself as she rubbed her forehead tenderly, a massive fucking headache!

Carefully Gwen pushed herself up out of her chair, one hand still shielding her eyes from the lights and the other reaching out in front as a guide. Cold metal, flat, computer, must be Owen's desk. Shit! Definitely Owen's desk, she mused, as she stopped to rub the thigh she had just banged into his chair. Walking again, slower, more carefully...ah ha! Her hand found the edge of the couch where she so often sat to eat lunch and shoot the shit with her coworkers. Gwen collapsed onto it, relieved. If only she could just take some painkillers and kill this headache by sleeping through it. But then she would have to call home and tell Rhys she wouldn't be there tonight.

It was the thought of having to talk to Rhys that stayed her hand as it reached for the pocket with her cell in it. She really had loved him at one point and she still did, in a way. Sometime since joining Torchwood her feelings had begun to change. It wasn't that she didn't love him anymore, she certainly did, it just wasn't in the way Rhys wanted anymore and she didn't have the heart to tell him. He had been a part of her life for so long, a source of comfort and laughter and solidity. And then there was the promise she had made to Jack, oh no, don't think about Jack...

Fumbling, she dragged the phone out of her pocket and dialed without looking. "Gwen?" she heard Rhys fumbling with the phone, "Gwen, do you know what time of night it is?"

"I'm sorry," she said, pain coursing through her skull.

"I reckon you are. But sorry won't always cut it, Gwen! We married now. I thought that would be enough to get you home some nights."

"I'm really, very sorry. Lots going on," she lied without hesitation.

"Right. Well, I'll see you later then, shall I?" Rhys didn't wait for an answer before hanging up.

Gwen let the hand holding her phone fall limply by her side and groaned. It had went about as well as she had suspected it would. Poor Rhys...

A hand touched the top of her head. "Ahhhhhh!" Gwen screamed. Her eyes flew open and before you could blink she was standing and ready to fight. "Woah, woah, calm down now," said the person attached to the hand that had scared her half to death.

"Damnit, Jack!"

"Sorry," he said, although it was obvious from the amused grin on his face that he was in no way apologetic. Gwen scowled. The shock had made her forget her headache for a second but it came roaring back now that she knew she was out of danger. Her hand flew to her head again and she sank back onto the couch. "Are you alright?" Jack scooted closer to her.

"I'm fine," she muttered. "Just a small headache that I wouldn't have it a certain American hadn't scared the living hell out me!"

Jack laughed. God, wasn't there anything that didn't amuse him? Couldn't he be contrite? Or did that emotion not exist for the perpetually and undyingly sexy? No. Not sexy. Scratch that. He once again interrupted her thoughts by placing his hand over the one she held to her forehead. "Here, let me help," he said quietly.

"Jack, it's a migraine, if you want to help go get me some strong painkillers." This did not seem to deter him because his hands kept moving. "Really, there's nothing you can do," she tried again.

"Just be quiet," he said softly. Gwen could hear the amusement in his voice, he was up to something. But as his hands ran over her shoulders and up her neck, titling her head back to rest on his shoulder, she couldn't bare to try stopping him again.

She remembered standing in front of the mirror on her wedding day. Jack, well, not Jack but an alien who looked like Jack, had been standing behind her in much the same way. Close enough she could feel his chest against her back, she had breathed slightly deeper than usual to discreetly brush up against him as her lungs expanded. Gwen blushed, she had told the alien she thought was Jack such horrible things. She had admitted to some of her feelings, ones she had tried so hard to keep suppressed for everyone's sakes. The cold terror that swept over her when she realized it was not Jack but the alien they were supposed to be fighting was purely selfish. She hadn't be scared to die or fight she was afraid that the alien would repeat her words. It was a risky situation she had put herself in and that as much as the thought of being ripped open by an alien on the day of her wedding pushed her to finish the job quickly.

All of a sudden the pain in her head was gone. Or maybe it had been gone for a while, unnoticed as she relived her wedding day, she couldn't know. Gwen sat up and turned round. There was Jack in all of his self-content glory, smiling silently, just watching her. "How did you do that, then?" Gwen asked.

"Just a trick I picked up a while back." Ever vague. "If you press just here," he let a finger drift over her forehead, "you can stop any headache."

"Is that so?" Gwen muttered vaguely, her mind preoccupied with the fingers twisting their way through her hair. She went quiet and leaned into his hand as it cupped the back of her neck. Oh God, this shouldn't be happening. What's happening? Jack it flirtatious, he does this sort of thing to anyone! Should probably stop him...What's to stop?

The two halves of her conscience ceased arguing, there wasn't any way in hell she was going to stop Jack doing whatever mischief he seemed to be getting up to. Gwen was suddenly very close to Jack although she did not know how it had happened. Their noses touched and their eyes gazed into each others, one pair solemn, one pair discerning. "What do you want, Gwen?" Jack's voice was a whisper, a bare flutter of breath over her lips. Apparently playtime had stopped and even Jack was feeling serious. "Gwen," he asked again when she didn't answer, "what do you want?"

Gwen couldn't reply. She couldn't put how she was feeling into words. Instead, she closed the gap between their lips, swiftly, half afraid Jack would pull back even though he had started this mess. Fuck, he lips are soft, she marveled as they accepted hers. Her chest tightened the longer the kiss lasted as if a black hole had opened up and begun siphoning off her insides. Soon, she felt, she would implode and it would all be finished.

Jack pulled away, eyes still staring straight into Gwen's, and the hand that had been around the back of her neck came forward. He gripped her jawline gently, running his thumb along her bottom lip. "I'm sorry," she finally stammered. How many times would she have to say that tonight? It was becoming a theme! "I-" she stopped, uncertain, trying to gauge the look on Jack's face, "I just couldn't help it."

He was still staring at her, wordless, but his thumb continued to trace her lips. "Not a very good excuse, is it?" She added, feeling abashed.

"Good as any, I suppose," Jack finally replied. "You've been so upset recently. We can all see it, Gwen. Did something happen?"

"No, no," she shook her head. "Not like you're implying, anyway. I just...oh, shit."

"What is it?"

"Do you really need me to say it? Jack, I broke my promise to you. I couldn't keep it together. And I've let Rhys down too, letting him get married to someone who is going to spend next to no time with him, is in perpetual danger, and-and," she caught her breath, it felt likely to spontaneously combust in her lungs.

"And what, Gwen?" He was just never going to just let it go, was he?

"And who isn't in love with him anymore." She finally finished. Blood rushed to her cheeks, betraying the embarrassment she felt at finally admitting it. Tear pricked her eyes and she tried to turn her head away, only to find it turned into the Jack's broad palm. What was his hand still doing there? Gwen tried to bat it away so she could disguise her tears but Jack grabbed her chin more forcefully. His other hand was suddenly on her shoulder and he made her look at him. Oh please don't let him fire me, Gwen thought, please, don't make me go back to normal life! Now I've ballsed it all up!

"You don't love him?" Jack asked sharply. Where did that come from, Gwen wondered? Why was that the first thing...? "You don't love Rhys?" he asked again, urgent.

Gwen shook her head softly, eyes cast down.

"Why did you marry him, then?" His voice was still sharp and Gwen didn't have the heart to look up at him. She could only imagine how angry he was at her.

"Because I promised you that I would keep my life outside of Torchwood in order. I couldn't leave him!"

Jack exhaled sharply, it sounded exasperate, angry, and something else all rolled into one. And then he pulled her to his chest. He held her there for a full minute before speaking. "I didn't know it would cause you so much pain. I wouldn't have asked it if I didn't think it would keep you happier in the long run!"

Gwen tensed, what did he mean? "But," she began. He didn't let her finish.

"Really, Gwen, all you had to do was say it didn't make you happy. I'm so sorry." He began rocking her back and forth; Gwen didn't know if he was trying to calm her or himself. "I really, truly never meant to hurt you."

"It's not your fault," she said, feeling odd that she was somehow comforting him now. She tried to reassure him nevertheless saying, "It's my fault. I shouldn't have have been so stupid. Of course you wouldn't have wanted me to ruin Rhys' life. I should have just thought about it reasonably..."

She was cut off again, this time by Jack's lips. He kissed her again, like he could not express his emotions through words. It was harsh and heavy, Gwen could feel the full weight of him pressed up against her, like an old black and white film. At the end the hero always kissed the heroine during the closing music and Gwen imagined it would feel like this, less of a kiss and more of an emotional transfer, one person to another. Gwen moved her lips under his, teasing, plying, until his relaxed. It was still no simple kiss, but this time their lips met to convey passion, not pain.

Gwen pushed Jack back onto the couch and straddled him, if they were going to do this, she was damn well going to make the most out of it. Her fingers threaded through his thick hair as their lips parted simultaneously to allow their tongues to meet. Hot skin met hot skin as they both ran their hands over each other, desperate for something they wouldn't try to name till everything was over. Gwen didn't notice her shirt coming unbuttoned but she did notice when Jack's mouth met up with her collarbone and then her breast. She mewled as he lifted her breast to his mouth and toyed with the nipple through her bra, plucking halfheartedly at his shirt in an attempt to get it off.

She tugged his lips back up to hers and fumbled her way through the buttons of his shirt, each button giving way to another inch of gloriously smooth skin. When her bra finally joined their shirts on the floor, Jack grabbed her around the waist and pushed her down onto the couch. He kissed and licked his way down from her neck to the button of her jeans until Gwen was a puddle of lascivious energy underneath him. Suddenly the jeans were off and so were her underwear, the chilled air of the hub making her tense. But Jack eased her legs back apart with gentle, insistent hands and Gwen was oh so glad he did as he dipped his head right between her thighs. Never, oh, never had anyone going down on her felt so good. Most men were simply incompetent at it, half of them surprised to even be asked! But she guessed that several eons of fucking every green skinned creature that came along had taught Jack something! His tongue smoothed over her cunt, licking and teasing until she couldn't take it anymore. Magnificent tension coiled around in her belly and then exploded sending stars to dance in front of her eyes as she struggled for breath.

There was no time to recover, however. Instantaneously Jack was back up and kissing her; Gwen could taste herself on his lips and found it strangely arousing. He settled between her legs and reached out to where he had left his pants on the floor. Gwen had no idea when he had had the time to take them off! He scrabbled around in the pocket until he found what he was looking for. Getting the condom out of it's wrapper and in place was the work of seconds, another clue that this was obviously a well practiced art for him.

Jack looked at Gwen, their breath mixed together as they panted. Her pupils were dilated so far her eyes appeared almost entirely inky black. "Please," she whispered. "I want to do this, if you do." That was all the assurance he needed. He buried his face in Gwen's shoulder as he entered her, too lustful to take it particularly slowly, but she didn't seem to mind. Their moans and ragged breaths reverberated around the Hub as they lost themselves in each others' bodies. Gwen felt like there were twelve thousand spots on her body all being stimulated as once, every part of her was on fire as she brushed up against Jack. Her eyes were screwed shut, so focused was she on the waves of exquisite tingling running up and down her spine. She felt, rather than saw that Jack was getting close to his end, feeling him swell even larger inside her. The extra pressure pushed her back over the edge and she bucked wildly as they both climaxed.

Several hours later they had donned their clothes, lay around chatting idly, and Gwen had received a truly expert back rub before their conversation finally returned to it's original topic. "I don't really know what to do," Gwen finally admitted. She was exhausted, physically from staying up all night and emotionally from weeks, nay, months of shunting her feelings aside. "It's not fair to Rhys to continue fucking around. I mean," she blushed a little, "You aren't the first person I've slept with while I'm with Rhys."

"Ha, yeah. It was fun watching you and Owen try to be subtle, though," Jack grabbed his coffee cup and tapped her lightly on the backside.

Gwen ignored his comment, no one needed to remind her that diplomacy wasn't necessarily her highest talent. Instead she scowled and added more sugar to her none to expertly brewed coffee. Where was Ianto when you needed him? Jack, noticing her lack of desire to continue talking, put his cup back down again, untouched, and began massaging Gwen's shoulders. They were as stiff as a three day old corpse. "You can work it out," he said trying to sound comforting.

"I don't want to work it out, Jack!" Gwen shot back. "What do you think I'm saying?"

"No, no, I mean," he sputtered, "You can do whatever makes you feel best. If you don't want to keep being with Rhys, then don't. If you don't want to divorce him, you can work that out."

"Ah," Gwen sighed. "But what about Rhys? What if I hurt him?"

"Rhys isn't important to me. You are." Jack tilted Gwen's once again tearful face up to his. "You are," he said again as he kissed her. Quiet, slow, undemanding the kiss was everything Gwen needed right then. Jack was someone who would listen to her, care for her, but never try to push her to either decision. This was her life and entirely her choice.

Gwen pulled back and smiled. It was a pained smile, but probably the first real one for weeks. Resolved, her soul began to feel lighter. "I know what I need to do," she said.