Unhappy Anniversary
AN: just kinda a random song that I was listening too and I was like 'Oh that would make a great one-shot, so the plot bunny struck and here are the results! Hope you all enjoy! I tried hard to get the emotion that I felt Kagome might have been feeling at the time, but if you think it needs to be more angsty let me know!
Disclaimer: I do not own "Unhappy Anniversary" that title goes to Vitamin C. And if I owned Inuyasha well lets just say that Kikyou would have died a long time ago. Sorry for anyone that is a Kikyou fan!
*Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Be*
SMACK!
A hand flew out from under the covers and slapped the annoying alarm into silence. Almost immediately the hand jerked itself back under the sheets and pulled them tighter over the owner's head, as if by ignoring the day it would help it speed by faster. However, this was one day that could not be ignored or forgotten and soon a chocked sob emitted from the blanket covered form. The one cry, turned into breathless sobbing as the day dawned bright and cheerful over the horizon. To Kagome Higurashi, it was as if the gods were tormenting her to make this day, of all days sunny with a side of sugar and sweetness. She had been dreading this day for weeks now, not that every day wasn't hard but this day just made the pain and the emptiness so much more unbearable.
It was normal now for Kagome to wake up in tears or with tear stains on her cheeks and red rimmed eyes. Nothing took away the numbing ach that she felt in her chest. Her family had tried to help, to be there for her, but none of them understood what it was like to feel like you were missing half of your soul. She had tried to explain it to them, but eventually even their patience had run out and so she had stopped trying to explain. She just bottled up her pain inside her heart while she put on a mask of cheerfulness to the world.
"Kagome honey, are you up? You're going to be late for school!" Mrs. Higurashi called through the door.
The door opened and Kagome stood there, dressed with her bag over her shoulder and her head down. But her mother didn't need to see her face to notice the tears that were dripping off her cheeks and onto the carpeted floor.
"Oh Kagome, I'm sorry I forgot. Are you going to be ok today?" Mrs. Higurashi asked, gently reaching out and tilting her daughter's tear soaked face up to hers.
She pauses and her breath catches taking in the dull lackluster eyes. The pain in them so intense it was like she had been physically struck. Kagome nods her head brokenly and without a word turns and drifts down the stairs and out the door.
You ask me, how am I?
Well I'm still standing, aren't I?
Ever since the well had sealed itself, no longer connected her to the Feudal Era, she had existed as a mere shadow of her former self. But she had learned to hide her pain away, uncomfortable with the sideways looks and the whispers from her family, not wanting to see the looks of pity on their faces. So she had learned to stand and to bear the burden of her loneliness in silence.
That's something, that's one thing that's gone my way
School was a chore now, no longer fun and exciting. It had been so hard to go and hang out with her "normal" friends. To try and act like nothing was wrong, that her whole 9th grade experience was just "a bad time in her life and don't worry she was ok now". When every night she would go and sit out under the Goshinboku and cry for hours.
It's so hard, to go out, like everything ok now
When inside, I still cry for yesterday
Today was the two year anniversary of Naraku's defeat and of when the well had closed and stuck Kagome in the present era. She been so relieved at first when she had reappeared with Inuyasha and the Bone Eater's Well in that pillar of light that it had never crossed her mind that the well would no longer work now that the she had completed her task. But then Inuyasha had let the well drag him back and Kagome and tried to follow him to thank him properly for saving her from the darkness, but when she had jumped and hit only the hard dirt packed floor the cry that tore from her lips left her hoarse for days. She had crouched there at the bottom of the well scrambling at the dirt with her bare hands screaming for Inuyasha, before she eventually collapsed in tears. For days she had been inconsolable and had spent several nights in the well house afraid that if she left it would reopen again and she would miss it.
"Hey Kagome there you are!" Yuka shouts, leading the rest of her friends over to her.
Kagome looks up surprised to find herself already at school. Quickly as she can she masks her sad expression and plasters on a smile that does not reach her eyes.
"Hey are you ok? Have you been crying?" Ayumi asks, concerned.
"No I'm fine guys, nothing wrong with me today!" she exclaims in a voice that sounds false to even her own ears.
Her friends stare at her but then shrug accepting it and drift towards other topics of conversation, not noticing the mask slip as soon as their backs are turned.
This is my unhappy anniversary
But I lie, saying it's just another day
This is my unhappy anniversary, oh
She floats through classes like she has done for the past two years. She gets good grades but for the most part she isn't there. Only half of her brain paying attention to what the sensei is teaching.
I know it's so stupid to feel brokenhearted
Staring unseeing out the window, Kagome lets her mind drift, 'I feel so stupid for being upset. This was the life I wanted right? A life where I didn't have to worry about monsters and demons. I feel like a stranger in my own skin, this isn't my life anymore. When did I become a stranger in my own era? Now I would trade this life for that one in a heartbeat. If I had only known…'
Suddenly Kagome can't take it anymore and the tears go streaming down her cheeks. Standing up before someone could say anything she darts out of the room and flees down the hallway and out into the bright sun before losing it completely and collapsing in tears in the parking lot. Knowing that she couldn't stay where she was, Kagome picks herself off the blacktop and runs blindly home to the shrine.
Stumbling up the steps and across the courtyard she falls to her knees in front of the Goshinboku, her sobs shaking her small frame. With a trembling hand she reaches out and touches the scar where Inuyasha had been pinned for fifty years, five hundred years in the past. A scar that even time could not erase. Compulsively, her hand grasps the bark, tightening her grip until it bites painfully into her flesh. Some days it feels like pain is the only emotion she can feel any more. The only emotion that reminds her that she still exists.
"Oh Inuyasha!" she sobs brokenly, raising her head to look up at the tree as if expecting to her beloved hanyou resting in the branches.
"Do you know how much I hurt? Does it hurt the same for you? I can barely make it through the days without you but today I just can't hide the pain I feel. I miss you so much!"
I wonder if you know just how much I hurt
I drink up and think up a toast to numb the hours
To get through without you is so hard today
Cause it's
Kagome stares up at the tree, wishing for a response but knowing she would get none. Tears run afresh down her cheeks unchecked and she drops her head and lowers her hands to the ground. But in a flash of pain she digs them into the dirt, leaving claw marks.
'It's been two years Inuyasha. It feels like an eternity to me. Have you missed me as much as I have missed you? Do you feel like there is wound in your heart that no time will heal? I want to see you again and Miroku, Sango and Shippo. Have Miroku and Sango gotten married yet? Had kids? Are you still beating up on Shippo and giving Kaede a hard time?'
A pained smile twists her face with these thoughts but it soon transforms into a look of despair. Curling in on herself even more, she begins rocking in place, as her heartache takes a hold of her once again.
"I tried! I really did!" she suddenly screams, jerking her head up to cry at the tree, her face of mask of pain and rage "I tried to move on and go back to my old life but I just can't!"
As though that outburst drained the last bit of her strength Kagome's body goes limp and she just sits, crouched at the foot of the tree, her head bowed and her long ebony hair cascading around her face, shielding her.
'I feel like an outcast here, that I have changed too much for me to be accepted here anymore. I don't know how much longer I will be able to pretend that I am ok. I need your strength…'
My unhappy anniversary
But I lie, saying it's just another day
This is my unhappy anniversary, oh
'Oh Inuyasha, I need you here beside me to give me the courage to face tomorrow.'
Wishing you were here, same time next year
Wishing you were here, same time next year
For hours Kagome sat underneath the branches of the Goshinboku, with her back pressed against the trunk, staring through bloodshot eyes up at the branches. Her family notices but they don't say anything, knowing that there is nothing they can do to help.
Slowly the sun sets and darkness takes over, lengthening the shadows before getting rid of them completely. The few stars that can be seen in the city make their appearance and Kagome's lips twist up into a bitter smile remembering how much she loved to count the stars on the other side. Glancing down at her watch she is not surprised to see that it is close to midnight. This was now part of her yearly ritual. She would stay out here until the start of the new day before quietly crawling into bed only to wake up and act like the day before didn't happen.
And now it's near midnight, a few minutes and I
Return to get back to my former life
Kagome stares at her watch, watching as the second hand counts down to midnight.
'Five…four…three…two…one…and just like that a new day has begun,' she thinks sardonically to herself.
Pretending our ending was not so bad, I know that
It's time to escape you until next year
When it's
'I feel like there should be some sort of noise or acknowledgement but there is just me, marking the beginning of another year. An anniversary, an unhappy anniversary.'
My unhappy anniversary
But I lie, saying it's just another day
This is my unhappy anniversary, oh
Opening her eyes, fresh tears coursing down her face, Kagome hauls herself to her feet and places a hand on the trunk of the ancient tree bows her head and whispers to the night, "I miss you Inuyasha. I will see you next year."
This is my unhappy anniversary
But I smile like it's just another day
It's just my unhappy anniversary
It's just my unhappy anniversary
Five hundred years in the past a man with silver hair, dog ears and golden eyes also stares up at the scared tree, mirroring the girl's pose.
"I miss you Kagome. I'll be here, same time, next year."
AN 2: Ok so there is another one done! Please let me know what you all think! Huggles to all who review! You have my undying thanks!