one night, my friends and i were at a mexican restarant (and we might have had a few margeritas to many [if you know waht i mean)]. anyway we were prety hamered, and i guss i made a couple to many racist slurs against the mexican people because they probably spit in our fod (or worse).
we were talking about our favorite musicals and i had just finished my thrid tequila of the night when i began to feel a bit funny. now, this usually will hapen whenever i go outside and talkto other people in public, so i didnt pay it to much atention and i just ignored it. however, a few minutes later, i felt like my stomach was moving around in my chest cavity. obviously that isnt wat was realy hapening, so i didnt think to much of it. but then the waiter brought us another rond of drinks and i took a gulp and tasted a bunch of debris in the gulp that i swallowed, so i backwashed some of it and looked in my glass. there i saw the hind leg of a mouse or a rat floating in the pitcher. immediately my enchilada came right back up onto my plate and those of my friends.
as everyone loked at me, i felt my temperature rising and not just from emabarasment. no, my head felt like a ketle on the stove ready to boil. i was burning up and had a highest temperature of my life. i needed something to drink an d fast, but i had nocked over our drinks when i saw the ratleg, and none of my friends would let me drink from there water glass. i asked if anyone had anything to drink in the restaurant and one old man said he had something to eat so i said id take that, because really anything was better than nothing. he gave me something and i bit off a piece and chewed it. it tasted tangy and odd. now at first i thought it was a piece of zesty foccacia bread with herbs and spicers on it, but then i looked closer and it was regular bread that had gone moldy and had all kinds of spores on it. i dobled over and started dry heving, and as i turned around and loked at the old man he laft and ran away. i asked the restarant owner and he sadi he was a homeless man who had never been there before.
now as you can probably guss i wasnt feeling to well at that point, so i excused myself to go to the bathrom. i had left my glases back inside during the ruckus and the light wasnt working, but i could se well enough to make it to the tiolet. i tried to vomit more but my stomach was completely empty and nothing more would come up. i sighed and got up and sat down on the toilet to catch my breathe. i sat for a minute or two, and was just about the get up, when i felt a rumbling in my gut again and strong. bdefore i could help myself, i was emptying the content of my bowels into my pants ather than the tloiet bowl. it was runing out like caned chili and i was scrambling to pull off my trousers and get it all into the bowl, but im sory to say i didnt do a great job. it felt like a vackum cleaner was puling my insides out and it hurt like the devil. it just kept coming and coming, and even in the dark i could tel there was some red in it. just when i thought things count get any worse, something in the corner moved.
since i didnt have my glasees and the lightbulb was burnt out the only light i had was coming in through the tiny window above the sinks. i had thoght there was a trash-can in the corner but now it was moving. i had to get up but my tailpipe was still flowing. the shape stired again and got up, and i realized at was a old homeless aunt. he stood up and shufled his feet back and fourth and to this day i dont now what he was tyring to do, but it was terifying and i didnt want him to walk towerd me. so i puled on my under pants and pants and decided the bes tthing to do was to get the *&^#$ out of there. (contd)
we got in my friends ford f150. i could tel he was none to happy about the smell coming from me but he didnt say anything about it. the motion of the car driving home made me feel sick again so i retched up a bit, but it was just stomech acid and mucus and not much vomite, but it got into the floor mat and prety soon the whole car smelled like my puke, wich made my other friends have to pul the car over so they could barf on the side of the road to. finally we got to my holuse.
we got out and i went inside and was just about to go to bed when my stomach felt like it was moving agian. i knew that wasnt to likely becaues i had emptied it several times that night, but i was feeling sick again so i went into the bathroom and retched again. however this time somthing was coming up. i could feel it going salowly up my esophagus. then it got stuck at the top of my throat. i couldnt breath. there i stood, over the toilet, choking on something that was stuck in my throat and rubing up against my uvula. just wen i was about to pass out, i gave one final masive heave and something shot out of my mouth and splashed into the toilet bowl, splatering my face. there, floating in the toilet, was the rest of the mouse whose leg was in my drink, still twitching.