The fabulous (if not some-what insane) adventures of a weird harry potter rip-off
A Dengaku man story
"If it weren't for that annoying Dracula Malfart, I would soooo have a girl friend!" screamed Dengaku Potter at his imaginary chinchilla. That chinchilla had been rather annoying lately. Always going on and on about the worse aspects of life. He was so negative. All the time. A "the glass is half empty" kind of guy would describe him, if he hadn't proven that the glass IS full. "the top has air, and the bottom has water…." He would say. But then again, who bothers listening to logic? Well, anyway, Dengaku had just got in a fight over having a girlfriend, but since he had NO friends, it didn't even matter. It was just, siiiggghhh…. and that was the way things were. After ten years of failing the first year at Pig Pimples society for the mentally gifted, he was getting bored. That school never got any better. And that was the way things were. No doubt about it. "burble doodle my fargin whoo ha!" Dengaku screamed. He swung his fist at the blue plastic table in the middle of the white room. The platter of taquitos clattered to the floor. Blackness.
Some time later, he woke to find himself sitting in a field of dandelions, Ash Ketchum hitting his head with a rock. "wake up!" he screeched into dengaku's ear. groan. "What's goin on?" dengaku asked cautiously. "why, you're in the Kanto region, silly! That was a nasty fall you had… do you feel alright?" Ash asked. "who the hell are you?!" dengaku shouted. Bang! Ash ketchum fell to the floor, a 33mm hole in his forehead. "and don't bother me again, or I'll have to sing the doom song!" Professor oak was walking up the road, so dengaku tore off in a sprint. After a safe distance, he found himself before a farm. A glorious, mayonnaise farm! Oh… this must be an outpost for the sauke's mayonnaise Co! thought dengaku man. To his left was a long black limousine, with dark, tinted windows. The C.E.O. was here! Sasuke himself, all the way from the original plantation in Narnia! Dengaku rushed inside. All around were rows and rows of mayonnaise! And at the end of the hall, sasuke, talking with the manager. He pushed over a worker and stole a jar of mayo, rushing to the end of the row. "sasuke, sasuke, please sign my mayo!" he begged. The tall bearded man slowly turned, revealing an AK47! An astonishing discovery, sasuke was obviously an expert marksman! "go away, kid…" he barked in booming baritone. 1 round, 2 rounds, 3, 4, 5! All discharged into dengaku's brains.
Dengaku woke 295,309,483 seconds later, to find himself in a hospital. He is o.k.
The Wretched End.