A/N: fuck you james spader. as if ultron wasn't bad enough, you come in and ruin me again. fuck you. anyway, here's a one-shot that possibly might be expanded. i'm not making any promises though, because i'm the worst at updating multi-chaptered fics.

fixed a few typos! 'o' thank you for pointing them out!

"…Cameo, was it?"

Cam slowly blinked at the question, gears in their head beginning to turn as they brought the steaming cup of coffee to their face. Steam billowed up into their face and fogged up their thick glasses. Warmth seeped through the thick ceramic and into their clammy hands. They had no desire for the coffee itself, the warmth was all they craved… Though caffeine was probably a good idea–

A cough from beside them tore them out of their reverie.

Oh. Right. Right.

They turned to the owner of the voice; an older man with a heavier build that stood at about their height, give or take an inch. His curly hair was light, though they weren't sure if it was due to ageing since the hairline receded back a bit. A pair of glasses did nothing to hide the intense yet smug gaze from those deep gunmetal blue eyes. It was enough to make the office assistant wake up for a split second; several white hot sparks going off in their mind, base of spine, chest and deep in their belly.

For the first time in months–no, years. This was the first time in years where a man besides Jeffery Lynn Goldblum jolted them awake. It was startling.

"I'm sorry, did I catch you off guard?" His baritone rattled at the base of their spine, the second attack on that spot from this man. The tone was smug–was that just his default state of being? Was he talking down to them?

"…"

Cam didn't have to take this, it was too early for this. Involuntarily, they nodded three or four times before taking a long drink from their coffee. A sigh. Then another long drink. They would've stared at this man–and God, did they want to–while they did this, but their eyes were stinging and blurry. So, they stood in the kitchen and slowly drank the rest of their coffee.

By the time they were finished their cup, they sighed loudly. Satisfied as warmth swam in their belly before blossoming into their rib cage and spreading out to the rest of their body–

"Holy fuck." They said blankly, turning towards the door and the man was still there. Staring.

He was now wearing a smirk on his lips, though with how devoted this man was to being an 80's Teen Movie Love Interest, it was possible he was always smirking.

If his gaze wasn't enough to make them squirm before, they definitely were now because of his possibly permanent simper.

"So. Your name is Cameo?" He asked, head tilting to the side now that it was obvious they were paying attention. They nodded, his smile widening slightly. "What an interesting name… Cameo Keeper. Now tell me–"

"It's not 'cuz that fuckin' band." They spat, a heavier Canadian accent spilling past their lips.

"So. Cam reminded us that they're from Canada today. By yelling at our new CEO…"

Cam sat by reception, hands softly drumming on their knee offbeat. They waited for an assignment from someone, anyone really, before they decide to pass out. Their eyes stung each time their heavy eyelids fell; their head lolling forward every fourth time they blinked. Shit.

They already fucked up with the new CEO of the company–which was apparently the man from earlier. Now here they were, about to pass out like usual.

"Cameo."

This time, the sound of their name grabbed their immediate attention. Their head snapped towards the conference room, head spinning a bit from the action, to see the man standing in the doorway.

"Come here for a moment."

Swallowing, they stood up and wobbled as quickly as they could over there–knocking into Jim during the process. Quickly, they mumbled out an apology to the salesman–who knew it was sincere despite everything–before shuffling into the conference room. They swallowed as the CEO, Robert… Something, closed the door behind them along with the blinds.

"Have a seat… Can I call you Cam? I heard some of the others call you that, but I don't know if you're okay with just anyone doing this." He said, fingers brushing along the back of the chair on the way to his regular seat in front of the outside window.

"…Cam is preferred, thank you."

He smiled.

"You can call me Robert, if you'd like. So, tell me… If it isn't the band you're named after. What was the… Inspiration?"

Cam stared at Robert for a moment. Their eyes then flickered from him to around the room. There wasn't a camera person in here, so they couldn't stare into that in disbelief a la Jim Halpert. "Um. I dunno. I didn't name me. I never asked."

He was still smiling, though he was leaning back in his chair this time around. "Call your parents."

"…Why?"

"Are you worried about long distance charges? Call them. Use the office phone."

They blinked, squirming in their seat as they pulled out their phone. Questions ran through their mind as they looked through their contacts. What the hell was going on here? A sigh left them as they placed their phone on the table once their parents' house number was displayed. The office phone was pushed towards them by the other; hesitantly, they punched in the number and brought the receiver to their ear as it rang.

"Put it on speaker."

Another sigh escaped them as they hit the button, the ringing now echoing in the room. After a couple more rings, it was picked up.

"Hello…?" An older Native woman's voice was heard.

"Granny? It's… Cam… Um. Is Mom there…?"

"Ohhh! Cammy, how are you?!"

They shut their eyes tightly, heat rushing to their cheeks from their family's pet name was heard. They opened an eye, Robert was looking more satisfied than he did before.

"G-good. Um. Where's Mom? Or Dad."

"Ohhh hai, I'll go get your mum."

The sounds of the old woman moving through the house and the phone being moved about were loud and clear in the room.

"Um, w-what am I supposed to ask?" They whispered to the man across from them. "You didn't tell me…"

"Your name."

are you kidding me.

"Hello?" Another woman was on the phone now, this one sounding distinctly younger than the other.

"Hiiiiiii… Um, it's Cam… I-I'm at work and people were asking… So. W-why is my name… Cameo?"

There was a pause. Then loud laughter that could be heard through the entire office. "Oh my girl," Cam flinched at that. "We didn't tell you did we?"

"…no."

"Me and your father… Our first vacation together, we were in The States. There was an apple orchard by a town we were driving through and we decided to stop in… We picked apples together and guess what they were?"

"…" They took a deep breath, their face feeling rather hot that their boss was listening in on this. They forced a smile in their voice, "I dunno… Granny Smith?"

"Don't be a smartass," their mother said, trying not to laugh. "Cameos! Cameo apples! We picked so many cameo apples…"

"So I'm an apple." They said blankly, face still feeling like an inferno.

"Yes! The apple of our eye, Cammy. Is that all you wanted to know?"

"Y-yeah, thank you. I-I gotta go now, since I'm at work. B-bye…"

"I love you!"

"L-love you too. Bye."

They hung up immediately. Then slammed their face into the table. Why did he make them do this?Why.

"How precious. You're named from a happy memory. How sweet, just like your namesake." It was hard to tell if he was genuine or not. Regardless, Cam didn't want to hear it.

"Please stop."

"Of course. I have some other questions… I won't take up any more of your time, I promise."

They looked up from the table; his eyes were still intense and the air around him stunk like a bad superiority complex but his smirk was gone. Which was a start.

"Okay." They said, sitting upright with their hands folded neatly on the table.

"Forgive me if I step too far but, you're Native American, yes?"

They blinked. Then nodded.

He smiled softly, "I'm part, but I'm sure you hear that a lot. Especially in the states, I'm sure. Where everyone is 'part Cherokee' it seems–what are you exactly? I know you're from Canada."

It was almost as if he knew they were trying not to roll their eyes so hard that their soul was going to leave their body at "I'm part".

"Cree. S-swampy if you wanna get specific… Northern Manitoba, all… Up there." They mumbled, hand floating in small circles as they stared at the table.

"I see. Now, just one more. Are you narcoleptic?"

"What."

"You look like you're going to pass out any minute. You were asleep when I first saw you. It must happen often enough since no one else reacts to it."

"Uh… I don't know? This is why I don't work in the warehouse?"

He leaned in closer; his gaze turning a bit darker as he motioned for them to lean in. Hesitantly, they did so, heart pounding in their chest as they unsuccessfully tried to rip their eyes away from those fierce blue eyes.

"Fix it. Get to a doctor and fix it. There's nothing more I hate than a partner that… Doesn't actively participate." He said, his voice was barely above a growl. It took a moment for his possible intent to sink in.

Cam shifted in response, a leg throwing itself tightly over the other as they leaned back. Heat bloomed over their face and chest, sepia skin flushing a deep shade of red. The earlier white hot sparks crackling in their body once again. The side of Robert's lips curled upwards; he knew that a cheap innuendo was enough to cause a reaction like this.

"A-alright…" They finally said, still trying to avoid the salacious leering and simper of his as they got up. "I… I'll go get that… Looked at, I guess."

"Thank you, my dear."

Cameo froze at that, their hand gripping the door knob. A light shudder ran through them as he bored holes in the back of their skull. They gave him a quick nod before quickly scurrying out of the room to go around asking if anyone needed anything.