Disclaimer I don't own Spooks/MI5. All copyright belongs to kudos and BBC. No copyright infringement is intended nor should be inferred

Scream

Harry opened his eyes. It was dark, colder than usual for the time of year. He ran a hand over his face, not wanting to become accustomed to the dark. He was already far too used to living in the shadows. He listened intently. He was alone. No cats, no Scarlet, no children. No Ruth. He gasped. It had been a dream. He rolled into his side; unable to stop the tears.

She was dead. Sasha had stabbed her. Ros had died in the hotel bomb, Lucas had killed himself, Adam, Jo, Zaf, young Tariq. It was all on him. He felt wretched knowing his brain, his subconscious had come up with a happy life; a what could have been. He smiled slightly, knowing he was his own worst enemy. The day on the cliff side had been real.

"Ruth." He closed his eyes. He wanted to die. To be with be with her. Nothing mattered apart from that. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew Catherine would understand and Graham wouldn't care. He wiped away a tear, throwing the duvet off his legs he got to his feet.

"Harry." He could hear her calling him. "Harry."

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Ruth bit her lip as she realised it wasn't the children that had woken her but Harry mumbling her name in his sleep. She shifted so she was laying on her side facing him. The duvet had been kicked off - no doubt causing Muggles and Fidget run a mile. The cats liked their comfort, after all.

"Harry?" She pulled the duvet over him. His stocky frame ice cold. Resting a hand on his face she realised he had been crying.

"Harry!" She shook his shoulder as he gasped. "Open your eyes! Harry Pearce!"

His eyes snapped open. The bed was the same, only warmer. The room different - bathed in darkness with the light from the hallway illuminating part of the room.

"It's ok." She spoke calmly. "Harry. It's ok."

"Ruth?"

"You had a nightmare. It's ok."

He reached for her, running his thumb across her cheek. He had no idea what was real and what had been a nightmare but he prayed this was real.

"You're alive."

"Yes." She kissed his hand before moving it from her face to place it over her heart. "I'm here and I'm alive. It was a nightmare."

"Sasha stabbed you."

"No, he stabbed Lucas. Almost killed him. I was pregnant at the time. He pushed me out of the way. Saved me and Gracie." She watched as realisation flickered through his eyes. "Gracie is sleeping. So's Nicky and everyone else. Ros will have something to say if we both turn up tomorrow er today looking like we haven't slept."

"Yeah." He mumbled. The steady beat of Ruth's heart beneath his palm steadying him. "Sorry. I. You were dead. All of you. I was the only one left. Ruth, I."

She nodded, knowing that it was his worst fear, his recurring nightmare that something happened to rip her away from him. That the last five years had been a dream was just the latest twist on it. She pulled him towards her, kissing him deeply as he held her to him.

"Ruth." He whispered as she broke for air. "My Ruth."

"Always." She whispered. "Always."

Xxxxx