Remembrance
By: RavenHeart101
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Summary:"It will always amaze Sam how much can change in a year. It will always amaze him even more, how much damage simple fear can do."
A:N - I have no idea if any more will be added to this, to be honest. I just wanted to share it for what it was.
Warning: Trigger for explosions and depression and hints to character death or at least major harm.
It will always amaze Sam how much can change in a year.
It will always amaze him even more, how much damage simple fear can do.
His head is nestled in his hands, his bangs flowing through his shaking fingers. They're clenched because he can't exactly clench anything else right now. The emergency room around him is in shambles, panic flooding the area that's not usually calm to begin with but Sam, at least, has never had to be panicked while in one before. There was that one time, years ago, when Stacie had fallen down the front steps during winter, slipped on a patch of ice, and broken her arm. But Sam hadn't been panicked then. Worried, yes. Panicked, no. Sam had known what the outcome would be then.
He doesn't now.
He can hear Unique wailing, and he can hear Ryder snarling at a stressed out nurse that Unique needs to be looked at now.
He knows they'll all be in a great deal of trouble. Really, what had they been thinking, bringing a bunch of underage kids to Scandals? Sam had thought it was a good idea at the time. What harm could be done? They weren't going to be drinking and Unique needed to know that there were people that were like her. That understood her.
Blaine had thought it was a good idea. Partially anyway. Blaine had simply wanted to bring her to their under 21 night and show her around. Somehow – probably from Unique herself – Marley had found out and asked to tag along. And wherever Marley goes so does Jake and Jake brings along Ryder and Ryder brings Kitty because why the hell not?
Just make it a Glee outing.
To a gay bar.
When, really, only one of them is gay.
Was gay.
Is gay.
Is not was.
Sam wants to smack himself for even thinking that it could be previous. But what else could he do? His mind keeps running in circles. What happened. What could have happened. Sam could have stepped in the way. And why hadn't he even noticed until they were at the hospital?
He closes his eyes and he's back in the club. Buying a drink for Blaine and for himself because they're the elders, they're allowed to get a little drunk. And it's not as though they haven't before. They have plenty of times. Like when they moved into their tiny flat in New York together and decided they are better together instead of just together.
Sam smiles when he looks over at Blaine. At Blaine in his dark wash jeans and his white dress shirt that's a little too big on him around the shoulders and waist because he stole it from Sam that morning. At Blaine and the tie that's loose around his neck and at Blaine who twirls Unique around as though she's the only person who matters.
Ryder's doing some weird dance with Jake and Marley and Kitty are off in a corner, talking about something in hushed terms. Sam should go check on them, make sure everything's okay, but he can't tear his eyes off Blaine. He's thriving now that he's out of Ohio. He's grown out his hair a bit, doesn't use as much gel, more confident about not being confident. He's becoming perfect. Or, rather, more perfect than he already is.
"He's something, huh?" Sam almost jumps at the sound of someone talking next to him. He tears his gaze from Blaine, for a split second, to see Sebastian Smythe, all in his own college glory leaning on the bar next to him. He's smirking, but there's something light in his eyes.
"He is." Sam nods because he thinks he gets it now. Gets him, now. There's always something about Blaine that just draws people to him.
"You're lucky, Evans." Sebastian smiles at him. Actually smiles. And slides him a glass while simultaneously winking at the bartender who winks back.
Oh.
It's like that, then.
"How long you been a one man, guy?" Sam casually throws out into the open.
Sebastian shrugs and doesn't even try to hide his leer as the bartender bends down to grab a bottle off the bottom shelf. "Long enough to realize what I'd been missing."
Sam gets that. He really does. Not that Sam has ever been one to be into one night stands but still. He looks over at Blaine and Blaine's looking at him, curious but smiling openly. He bounces over to the bar, Unique being pulled into Jake and Ryder's strange dance, and Sam opens up his arm automatically to pull him into his side. "I saw you talking to someone suspicious." Blaine wrinkles his nose at Sebastian and Sebastian just laughs, hugging him when Blaine leans across Sam's lap to do just that. Sam would think it was awkward, but he's used to Blaine's tactile nature by now. Likes it even.
They're happy.
And then they're not.
"Sam." A hand shakes him out of his memory and he snaps his head up, looking up at Sebastian as he slowly sits next to him. He has a split lip, his hair's a mess, and a pretty nasty looking black eye. His injuries are minor compared to the other's Sam's seen. "Sam, where's Blaine?"
But Sam can't answer because he doesn't fucking know where Blaine is.
If he did he wouldn't be here.
He just shakes his head and Sebastian swallows and swears and Unique wails some more and Sam kind of wants to yell at her to shut up.
"Where's…" Sam tries but he honestly doesn't know the bartender's name. Doesn't really care either, but he's pretty sure Sebastian knows that.
"Talking to the cops." And then there are the cops. Making their rounds through the room and Sam's surprised they haven't wandered over to him yet.
He must look like a mess. He knows he has a cut on his cheek. Knows he probably has a broken hand and quite a few sprains. But he doesn't think about it.
Lima's a small town so it really shouldn't surprise him when the emergency room ends up more packed as the hour goes by. Shouldn't surprise him that Unique stops wailing because Kitty finally slapped some sense into her – literally. Even though Kitty shouldn't be slapping anyone because her hand is busted too.
Sam notices, then, that Marley and Jake aren't with them. And then he remembers why.
He remembers how Blaine had been laughing loudly and he had looked amazing and Sam had taken a sip out of his drink and Sebastian had been holding hands with the bartender as they all talked and a light had gone off.
A light.
Very bright and very hot and Sam can feel it on his face and somehow he ends up on the floor and he can hear someone that sounds distinctly like Marley yelling. Screaming, actually. Literally screaming.
Sam's heart drops to the ground.
He hears ringing and someone pulling on his arm to get him to stand up and crying and he blinks up at Blaine as his face looks down into his own and is yelling something only Sam can't hear him.
He has something red on his face and Sam reaches up to wipe it off because red doesn't look right on Blaine when he was wearing white and black and he pulls his fingers away because they're sticky. What did he do, dip his face in paint?
Blaine looks scared, though, so Sam tries to make him feel better.
And then there's another flash of light and Sam can feel it. Can feel it shaking the ground and Blaine's flying forward, onto him, dead weight.
It's almost funny how Sam can hear after that.
He can hear things he doesn't want to hear.
He can hear countless screams and crying and crackling, like fires do on a campfire. He can hear sirens in the distance and then he can hear Blaine's breathing in his ear. And he panics.
Because Blaine is a dead weight on him. Dead weight. Sam's only used to that when he's sleeping and Blaine would never sleep on the floor. Not here. Not at Scandals where they didn't even know what had been on the floor.
But he's a dead weight and Sam knows he's probably hurt all over but Blaine. Blaine who was leaning over him and asking him if he was all right. Blaine who had flown forward. Which means the other blast was from behind him. How close was it? Close enough to cause him to fly forward, apparently.
There's something sticky running onto his own shirt, running onto his arms. Not a pile of it, not enough to make a massive mess. But enough to cause him worry. Well, more than he already is.
He almost tries to scramble to get up but he doesn't when Blaine whines. It's soft, but Sam can hear it. He can hear everything. Instead he lays there and he breaths and he, slowly, very slowly, rolls out from under Blaine.
Who is somehow, still awake. Looking at Sam. Looking shocked. Confused. Lost. Scared. Sam grabs hold of his hand as Blaine's fingers flex. It's red. So is Blaine's back.
"Blaine?"
He blinks up at the nurse as she kneels down in front of him. "Sir?" She's holding a clip board in her left hand, and a blanket in her right. She's pretty, as far as nurses go. "Do you know someone that's been admitted?"
"Y-yes." He stutters out because, well, obviously Blaine's been admitted.
"I need you to fill this out for me." She hands him the clip board and the blanket she drapes over his shoulders. "I'll sit with you and help, if you'd like."
"N-No. I'm fine." He's not fine.
"I'll help." Sebastian says softly and the nurse nods before taking a quick look at his cheek and hand.
"Fill out one for yourself too." She hastily adds, dusting off her scrubs and handing him another clip board.
Sam nods even though he doesn't need to be admitted. She gives Sebastian one too and he thanks her though he doesn't move to fill it out, placing it on the floor in front of his feet and paling when he looks down at his shoes. Sam… Sam knows better than to look at his.
Instead he looks down at the sheet of paper in his hands, his dyslexia making it harder to read than it normally would be with his hands shaking and his head swimming. Blood type.
How the fuck is Sam supposed to know what Blaine's blood type is?
"Don't fill that out." Sebastian snatches it from his hands and Sam takes a moment to actually realize it's empty.
"Why not?" He asks slowly.
"Because his parents are probably filling one out themselves and having two forms for one person is only going to slow the hospital staff down." Makes sense. Sam wonders how Sebastian can be thinking right now. Thinking about anything other than what just happened.
Sebastian probably doesn't know either.
Sam almost asks how he knows Blaine's parents are there but when he looks up he sees them. Huddled in a corner and Blaine's father is frowning at the floor tiles and his mother is talking on the phone to someone, big fat tears on her face. His father has a clipboard in his hand and Sam should go talk to them. Tell them Blaine's… not okay but not not okay. But he kind of can't stand up right now so, instead, he pulls the blanket tighter around his shoulders and huddles into himself.
Tries to forget.
Instead he remembers.
He remembers Blaine's hands on his shoulders and his head thrown back in laughter as Sam twirled him on the dance floor. Remembers Blaine's lips against his, soft and familiar and the smell of his aftershave and how it pushed into his lungs. He remembers how he held onto Blaine tight as they danced. Remembers how Blaine's smile lit up the whole room and how his energy was contagious.
Is.
Not.
Was.
Sam starts crying somewhere in the middle of that mess. And somewhere in the middle of that mess Cooper shows up and Mister Schuester is trying to be comforting and is really failing. Somewhere in that mess Sebastian punches a cop because he insinuates that if they hadn't all been at a gay club this never would have happened.
Sam tries to tune them all out but it doesn't work.
Instead he ends up next to Cooper and next to Kitty, the blonde girl huddled under his arm. He ends up listening to Cooper asking their father why this always has to be him. Why it always has to be Blaine. Why it couldn't be someone else just for once.
And Sam wonders it too. But he doesn't say it.
He shuts down.
And he remembers.
A: N - Maybe I'll add more if enough people want it?