Title and inspiration from I'll Keep You Safe, by Sleeping At Last.
Being a newcomer in the Temple at Anakin's age was hard. Every being watched him walk by, no matter how small he tried to make himself, and he could feel bursts of mockery in his mind whenever he fumbled on his classes. Children could be cruel, he knew that, but it still stung, to be so far behind.
It didn't help that the person who was supposed to truly teach him was fumbling too, trying not to break under the pressure of grief and new responsibilities he wasn't ready for.
Anakin could feel it, the blur and slight heaviness of the sadness his Master kept around himself, almost like a protective cape. It felt too strong, and hurt to be close to it for too long, since his own hurt fed on his Master's and vice versa, starting a painful feedback loop he didn't have the skill to end.
His teachers didn't respond very well to being asked about his Force training, and Anakin quickly surmised that it was something that a Padawan had to learn from their Masters, and to have another interfere with it carelessly was almost insulting to the Master.
He hesitates to ask Obi-Wan about it though, not wanting to give him one more reason to worry. That extends to other, smaller things as well, such as cleaning what he's able and trying to get food alone. If Anakin was very honest with himself, he was a little intimidated by his Master. The man carried himself in a manner that made him want to interact and get closer to him, while still projecting a need of not being disturbed.
Sighing, Anakin focused back on the parts strewn around him, and got back to work.
x
It's easy to dismiss remarks on how caring for another is hard work when you're the one being cared for, but it comes back with a vengeance once you're on the other side of the line. Obi-Wan knew he had been someone fairly easy to watch over, with his quiet and serene personality. Oh, the ones closest to him knew he was more than that, and learned to appreciate his wit and to read his tells, given enough time, but he was quite self-sufficient.
Taking care of Anakin, however, felt like an enormous boulder thrown on his already-curved shoulders. He could tell the boy was trying to be as quiet as he could, and spent most of the time out of his sight. It saddened him that Anakin seemed so afraid of him, but grief dulled even that and left him unable to take action against it.
The older Masters tried to help at times, giving advice and sharing stories about past or current Padawans, but it was often useless to their situation. Anakin was special, he knew . Not only because of his circumstances, or the immense potential the boy held on the Force. His most precious trait was his heart of gold, his kindness and open-mindedness, something Obi-Wan knew had been taught to him by his mother.
Breaking through the dark clouds of grief surrounding him was a daily effort, and a battle often lost. By now, he had heard every common platitude, and even some new ones. Pity seemed to ooze from people everywhere he went, for the young man that lost his Master and gained a Padawan on the same day.
Instructors kept approaching him every week with barely-hidden complaints about Anakin's learning rate or lack of knowledge, clearly using it as a way to dump their every failing on his own shoulders, until he wanted to scream at them for their incompetence. In the beginning, they tried to adapt to Anakin, Obi-Wan knew, but after a few months, they halted their efforts, and now proclaimed him 'beyond their abilities'.
Obi-Wan wanted to say that if they couldn't manage to educate a single child that diverted from the norm, they clearly shouldn't be teaching, but kept it to himself. Lashing out wouldn't help their situation.
What finally managed to set him off, though, had been realizing that Anakin was wilting under the pressure. He kept to his rooms, always had a broken droid or two around, and tried his best to be as unobtrusive as possible. He could tell that Anakin had made no friends yet, and it made him remember his own childhood at the creche, when everyone mocked him for his inability to blend in with the others, different interests and his often rash but truthful words.
It was something he didn't wish Anakin to suffer. That became the motivation he needed to dispel his dark thoughts and begin formulating a plan to help his young charge.
First, he would need to discover what Anakin required. Obi-Wan would have fulfill this task by observation, given that it was more probable to snow on Tatooine than for Anakin to go to him with a question as things stood currently. Material objects would be easier to notice, so the real problem laid in his mental and Force training.
Obi-Wan could take the easiest way out and approach Anakin to ask him about it, but it had a high chance of spooking him. He would need to present his help in a manner that didn't let Anakin think it was being done out of obligation, so that the boy could start to warm up to him.
It would be a difficult task, indeed.
x
Anakin noticed the slow but sure dispersion of the grief that surrounded his Master. It almost felt like the seeing the sky again after a long sandstorm, the freedom of finally being able to go outside and play under the clear, cloudless expanse of blue. He knew his lack of shields was what let him see it so clearly, amplified even further because of the fledgling training bond they shared, which made him even more attuned to Obi-Wan.
Watching the process from afar, his desire to go to his Master was strong, but Anakin contained it. If it proved to be a temporary resolution, things could turn bad for him, so he waited.
Then Obi-Wan started giving him small but honest smiles whenever they met in the common room or at mealtime, and Anakin had to restrain himself from smiling back, still reluctant to drop his guard. He could hear the soft sighs every time a smile was ignored, and decided to ignore that too.
A few days later, rummaging through the pantry, Anakin discovered that it had been stocked until it was in danger of overflowing with many different types of food. Some made him curious to what they tasted like, some he looked at with distrust, and others he couldn't even begin to imagine what it would be like.
He sat looking at the many products for over half an hour, unable to rein in his surprise. He already knew the Order frowned on excess, and what their pantry contained in that moment could definitely be counted as one. Anakin wondered what his Master had gone through to do such a thing, and couldn't stop himself from being touched by the gesture. He seemed to have finally noticed how Anakin struggled with the new, strange foods, and decided to give him a broader selection for him to choose from, something he appreciated enormously.
The next time Obi-Wan smiled at him, Anakin responded with a brilliant grin.
x
In a short span of time, Anakin's carefree, joyous grin became Obi-Wan's greatest reward. Gradually, his Padawan started being more open with him, more trusting. The process wasn't free of obstacles, the biggest one being Anakin's still persisting reluctance to come to him for his Force training, but it would be resolved, in time.
It was gratifying to note that the boy was more believing of Obi-Wan's concern for his well-being, more accepting of the small gestures made to accommodate him, and less cautious around him. He still hesitated to ask for anything despite Obi-Wan's constant reminds that it would be alright, but that too was a work in progress.
Obi-Wan made an effort of lowering some of his mental shields when interacting with Anakin, in consideration of his years around untrained individuals. To suddenly be unable to sense what the ones around him were feeling must had been quite a shock, and know that he didn't have to worry so much about the extent of his grief, it was easy to give him that small comfort.
Whenever he came home after classes, his mind visibly upset, Obi-Wan would send him waves of calm and happiness through their still-growing bond. He knew Anakin didn't realize what he was doing every week, chalking it up to the sensation of being home, finally.
They even had conversations now, mostly composed of Anakin chatting up a storm while Obi-Wan patiently listened to every word. His Padawan would talk about mechanics, his many classes, his impressions about the Temple and his desire to have a lightsaber of his own. Obi-Wan had started helping him with his school work only a few days back, and he already noticed the changes. Instructors weren't complaining so much anymore, and he knew some of them still did it for pettiness, cementing his opinion that some should be far away from younglings.
With patience and gentle guiding, Anakin thrived. He was still a little behind in more subjects, but quickly catching up with his age mates. That was no surprise for Obi-Wan, who knew the boy would love to learn once given a fair chance at it. To be unwilling made no sense. Anakin was a bright child, who was only so unknowing because of his previous status as a slave, which only made him push himself harder, in order to excel.
And anyone who doubted that would find themselves in for a surprise.
x
With his reticence receding, Anakin found it almost too easy to integrate himself to his Master's daily life. He'd wake up early and find Obi-Wan meditating close to their balcony, the soft morning light bathing him in golds and oranges. A few minutes were spent on whichever droid he had his hands on in that moment, until his Master rose and prepared breakfast.
At first, Anakin had been skeptical of the many teas they had, a fact that made his Master laugh many times. Obi-Wan didn't impose it on him, but his innate curiosity made him sip many until he found one he liked.
They would talk in hushed voices about their plans for the day, unwilling to break the peaceful atmosphere. Anakin would sit on one of the high stools, gesturing and telling some tale or another, while Obi-Wan walked around the kitchen, preparing foods, washing dishes and organizing utensils. Anakin would spend most of the time smiling brightly, and having the pleasure of seeing a reserved one on his Master's face.
He had noticed the slight lower of shields, and was grateful for it. Everyone old enough to be a Padawan on the Temple had many layers of mental defenses, and Anakin felt as if they were all heavily guarded fortresses, something that unsettled him greatly.
His pathetic excuse for shields didn't help the situation, but he was trying to work on it, and on approaching Obi-Wan with more than material requests too. His control of the Force was in the same state. Though Anakin had an incredible ease in sensing things and how they worked, he was still couldn't levitate objects, and knew he was being mocked for it behind his back.
Whenever his Master was distracted or away, he tried working on it, to no avail. Textbooks didn't help in that kind of mastery; it was something that had to be taught in person, to account for everyone's individuality. Still, he tried, fumbling every step of the way. The object quivered if he concentrated hard enough, but went no further.
It took him almost a week to gather the necessary courage to go to his Master, but he made the effort. He had no use for his fear and sadness when around Obi-Wan, and Anakin figured it was time to let go of his wariness.
He made his approach cautiously, keeping his head down but his voice never failed. Close to the end, he got too excited to keep that posture, his imagination nearly overworking itself on the matter of things he could do with that much knowledge, his mouth almost unable to keep up with his brain. His eyes shone, his hands almost hit something or another many times because of his enthusiasm, and he could barely stand still.
Obi-Wan listened to it all attentively, nodding and smiling at the appropriate intervals. And when Anakin finished, finally able to fully fill his lungs with air, his Master gave him a grin that could rival the brilliance of Tatooine's suns.
After a few reassurances, a light dose of sass and some embarrassment, the matter was settled. His Master opened his arms, wordlessly inviting Anakin for a hug, something the Padawan did with great relish.
He hugged Obi-Wan almost like he'd hug his mother, taking in the already familiar scents and carelessly attuning himself to the rhythm of his Master's breathing. His relief and pure, unbridled joy and the freedom that came with getting rid of a secret lulled him into peaceful, dreamless sleep.
x
As expected by Obi-Wan, Anakin flourished under his new training. His instructors had no complaints left to give, even the ones that seemed to dislike the mere existence of his Padawan. Now, they showered him with praise instead. It was quite the welcome change.
When Anakin had come to him, subdued and hesitant, Obi-Wan knew he had finally managed to break through the last of his defenses. The boy took to the Force not unlike a fish to water, catching up with his age mates and then surpassing them without so much as a drop of sweat.
To train such a radiant mind was a joy Obi-Wan never thought he could experience. Every time Anakin learned something new, he'd show it to his Master and give him a quick hug, even if he hadn't helped at all. He found himself sharing in Anakin's seemingly unending happiness, and whenever he encountered an old friend while passing through the Temple's corridors, none of them failed to remark on how much at ease he seemed, how his presence shone brighter than ever.
Anakin struggled a little with meditation, a consequence of his constant need to be in movement, but it only served as another obstacle for his Padawan to conquer. It was no match for Anakin's sheer determination to excel. But Obi-Wan thought better to introduce moving meditation as well. He knew the effort to sit still sometimes was too draining, even more so for a child. With more options, he could find one that worked best, instead of fighting a core facet of his personality.
Watching Anakin grow under his care left him without words. Raising him was a hardship, yes, with the always present, mutual push to be better, to evolve and achieve things thought impossible before. But the reward was worth it, he knew.
Helping Anakin preserve that heart of gold was the greatest of prizes, something Obi-Wan saw the true value of. He would treasure and protect it, as long as he could. After all, it was and would be forever Anakin's grandest masterpiece.