Just one of those plot bunnies that wouldn't leave me alone :D

By: Krystal-kun

Summary: Hidan was immortal, but this didn't make him immune. Down in the dumps with a cold, guess who's the 'good boy' to take care of him? Hidan and Tobi friendship Crack!fic

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"AAAACHOOOOOOOO!"

Kakuzu looked over at his partner who had been sneezing for the last twenty minutes.

"Could you stop that?" a vein was throbbing dangerously in his temple.

"Look, it's not like I fucking want to sneeze every two min-a-a-ACHOO!"

Kakuzu looked down at his partner. They had been walking for four days and it had been raining nearly nonstop. Well, that's what he gets for walking around without a shirt on…

Even so, he nearly felt sorry for his partner. He had never seen him so miserable in his life, that is when he wasn't the one causing it of course.

Hidan was immortal, but it didn't mean he couldn't get sick. Though from what Kakuzu had gathered, Hidan himself didn't know this yet.

"You're sick" he stated.

"Fuck no! I don't get sick!"

"That doesn't change the fact that you are actually sick."

Hidan pondered this. Maybe he was sick. This was the first time he had ever gotten sick. Ever. He kept pondering whether he really was sick or maybe just being paranoid. Possibly both. Soon enough they were almost to the hideout with the new information gathered on the Ichibi, Shukaku. Kakuzu opened up the door and ushered his sick partner in.

"Go to your room."

Hidan could only stare in disbelief. What did he just say?

"What are you, my mom?"

"Worse, I'm your partner. Now get upstairs and lay in bed."

"Why?"

"Because you're sick. And when you're sick, you lay in bed until you feel better."

To be honest, that didn't sound all to bad to Hidan. Sure he felt a little lightheaded, but if that's all it took to just lay in bed without taking crap from Kakuzu, then by all means.

"Oh. I almost forgot."

He had stopped Hidan half way up the stairs.

"Take two of these every twelve hours. It helps."

The silver haired man took the small jar from his partner. Tylenol.

"Never heard of it." With that he tossed the bottle only to be caught by Kakuzu.

"Take these or I will personally shove them down your throat."

"Alright! Alright! Geez. Bastard…"

He hopped up to the room they shared and flopped on his bed. He took another quick glance at the Tylenol bottle and threw it out the window.

"Trying to get me fucking drugged…"

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This was bad. Now Kakuzu had no partner. He sat on the couch rubbing his temples until finally, Pein walked in to hear the report.

"What's the information on the Ichibi?"

"It's some kid in Suna. Goes by Sabaku no Gaara."

"Where's Hidan?"

"In bed. He's sick."

"I see. How did he get sick if you were in Suna?"

"We didn't get the information from Suna. We got it in the Rain Country from some of the Suna shinobi we found there."

"And you're positive this information is accurate?"

"Positive."

"Good. I will leave you now."

With that, he walked off to do who knows what. Deidara and Tobi came in. They had been secretly listening in on this conversation.

"So Hidan does get sick! Hmm." The blonde thought out loud.

"I know, shocking isn't it?" Kakuzu's voice was just dripping in sarcasm.

"So what are you gonna do about him? Hmm?"

"I'll just leave him to rot until he's better."

"But who's going to take care of him!?" Tobi butted in looking frantic.

"Why should I care?"

"B-But he's your partner!" Tobi looked appalled.

"And?..."

"Why don't you just take care of him? Hmm!" Deidara snickered to himself. Maybe this could finally get Tobi off his back for a while.

Kakuzu was catching on to the stone nin's idea.

"Ya Tobi. I bet he would love to spend some time with you."

"Really!?" the masked man looked absolutely ecstatic.

"Yes. Now leave."

Tobi saluted. "Yes! Kakuzu-san! I swear I'll take good care of your partner!" then he ran up the stairs to where Hidan was.

Once he was out of earshot. Deidara burst into hysterical laughter. Even Kakuzu was snickering to himself. It was a win-win situation. Deidara got rid of Tobi for a while, and Hidan was going to have one of the worst experiences of his life.

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Hidan was comfortable and was nearly asleep. Though he could've sworn he heard a thumping.

Man I really am sick…

Then the thumping was getting louder.

Oh shit! What the hell!?

It was getting closer, and closer, and closer. His heart skipped a beat, not that it mattered, until the door was creaking open slowly.

"Who's there!?" He jumped up and grabbed his scythe.

"I SWEAR I'M NOT FUCKING AFRAID TO USE THIS MOTHERFUCKER!!!"

A hand reached out of the door. He pulled up his scythe ready to swing at the idiot trying to scare him.

"Hi Hidan-san! Tobi is here to- W-WAIT HIDAN-SAN PUT DOWN THAT SCYTHE!! TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!!!!!" He flipped over Kakuzu's bed for protection and was trembling behind it. Once Hidan had finally gotten a look at who was screaming at him, he wasn't sure if he should be relieved, or just have more of a reason to kill him.

"What the fuck do you want?" He was starting to get a little clammy and leaned on his scythe for support. He really didn't need this right now.

Tobi finally crawled out from behind the safety of the upturned bed looking absolutely terrified.

"T-Tobi is just here to make sure you get better, H-Hidan-san!" He was starting to regain his composure.

The priest raised an eyebrow.

"Whatever just don't bother me. I need to do a ritual."

At these words the orange masked man flinched.

"You okay? You look like you're about to have a spasm or something. Seriously." He was already polishing off a pike to get ready.

Tobi had finally begun to stop twitching long enough for him to charge at Hidan.

"HIDAN-SAN NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

He latched himself on the priest firmly and was holding the pike out of his reach.

"WHAT THE FUCK TOBI! GIVE THAT BACK! I HAVE TO DO MY RITUAL!!"

"BUT KAKUZU-SAN SAID THAT YOU CAN'T WHILE YOU'RE SICK!!! IT WILL JUST MAKE YOU WORSE!" Tobi was frantically panicking and using whatever strength he had to stop the silver haired man from reaching his last pike.

"TOBI! GET YOUR FOOT OUTTA MY FACE! I SWEAR I'LL-"

-THUD-

The human pyramid collapsed and now Hidan was trying to pull Tobi toward him, but Tobi was kicking him in the face to avoid getting dragged to his pissed off friend. He was still clutching the pike for dear life.

-Slam-

"What. Is. Going. On. In. here?" Kakuzu had barged in and was met with a very peculiar sight.

Tobi laid on his back using one hand to hold a pike as far away as possible. Hidan was being suspended above Tobi by a foot in the stomach and a hand in his face. He was just out of reach for the pike.

Kakuzu stomped over, grabbed the pike, and snapped it in half.

"There." He walked back out.

"……………………….."

"Tobi?"

"Yes? Hidan-san?"

"I hate you."

"I know…" he said solemnly.

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Ten minutes. Just ten minutes and Hidan was already sick of being sick.

Tobi had been constantly asking him if he needed anything. If he didn't need anything now, then why would he need it ten seconds later?

Tobi came in again.

"Hidan-san, can I get you anythi-"
"No. Tobi."

"Okay…Are you sure?"

"Yes. I am very sur-"Wait a sec, "Uhh, ya can you get me something to drink?"

"Certainly! What do you want?"

"Uhh. Hot chocolate."

"Okay! I'll be back in a jiff!" he zoomed out the door.

Finally! That would buy him at least thirty seconds of peace. And he had to admit, that was probably one of the best thirty seconds of his life. Until he heard that familiar thumping up the stairs.

"Hidan-san!!"

Oh Jashin…

"Hidan-san! The hot chocolate is still heating up, but I brought you up some orange juice just in case you were really thirsty and-ACK!"

-SPLOOSH-

"Ack! Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry Hidan-san! I didn't mean to! Really I didn't! Tobi is a good boy!!"

Hidan was dripping in orange juice. Tobi had tripped over his scythe and sent the cup flying at him. He was gripping the covers of his bed, veins were dangerously throbbing along his head. He looked like he was honestly about to castrate him

"I'll just, umm, g-get a towel and-"

"Tobi."

"Yes Hidan-san?" He was shaking with fear now.

"Just get me my damn drink and get the fuck out." His words were dripping with rage. Had he not been so sick, Tobi would've been a dead man. He glared at Tobi who shivered and ran out for dear life to get said drink.

The priest let out a sigh and grabbed a towel from his bathroom to wipe off the juice. Tobi came bouncing in with two steaming cups of hot chocolate on a tray.

"Here you go!"

Thank Jashin he didn't spill that on me…

The mug felt hot enough to fry an egg. Tobi picked up the cup made for himself, lifted his mask to expose only his mouth and took a long sip.

He let out a satisfying 'Ahh…'

Hidan, after eyeing the drink a bit more to make sure it was ok, finally took a small sip. While the mug may have been hot, the drink was perfect. Not to hot, not to cold.

"Do you want some marshmallows?"

The masked man held up a bag of mini marshmallows.

"Uhh…sure. Thanks." He took out two and plopped them in his drink. They began to melt into the warm liquid mixing the gooey white with that warm rich brown.

He had never had anyone be this nice to him. Most people tended to fight with him, though considering he was the one who was picking the fights, he could understand. But still, even though he was terribly mean to Tobi, he was still treated nicely by him. This was very confusing.

"Hey. Swirl face."

Tobi perked up from watching his little marshmallow mountain sink into his coco.

"Ya?"

"Why are you being so damn nice to me?"

This came as a shock.

"Well why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, you know, I've been really assholeish. Seriously!"

Tobi tilted his head. He was going to answer, but when he really thought about it, he didn't know why. Pondering this he continued to stare into his reflection in his drink, watching his marshmallow 'Titanic' sink into the frothy thick coco. He shook his cup barely enough to have the white mass twirl with the brown, mixing all the colors. This brought out a small smile. He finally looked up, Hidan was looking at him wondering if he had just died sitting.

"Well, I guess it's because we're friends! And no matter what difficulties we face, we have to stick together to help each other through it. That's what friends do. Friends don't leave each other behind."

Hidan was speechless.

Friends?

No one had ever said anything this nice to him. He though it just wasn't possible, of course, he also thought that him getting sick was impossible too, but that proved false. He had to admit, the whole friendship speech was kinda corny, but for some reason, he really felt like Tobi had meant it.

"Thanks…" was all he managed to mutter.

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Three days passed. Everyone went about their regular business. Deidara went out on a few missions, Kakuzu was catching up on some financial reports, Itachi blew a hole in the kitchen wall with Amateresu, and Pein and Konan continued to read or work silently. It was pretty normal.

Ever since the orange juice incident, Tobi had done what Hidan said and left him alone, only stopping in occasionally for a chat and a tray of hot coco. Though, Hidan didn't mind the hot chocolate stops. And soon enough, his cold was gone.

"It's about time." Kakuzu was getting ready for a mission that the leader had assigned the masked man and a newly recovered Hidan in the Village Hidden in the Clouds. It was a basic information gathering mission. Mostly just to get back in the swing of things.

"Yeah, yeah, just shut up." The priest was strapping his scythe to his back. In a matter of minutes, they were ready to go. Though they still had about twenty minutes to kill. Kakuzu was still scribbling down some numbers on what seemed like an endless stack of financial reports.

Hidan took this time to go find Tobi. He had wanted to tell him something. He did eventually find him lying on the couch looking through some manga.

"Swirl face."

Tobi perked up from his comic and sat up to face him.

"Yeah?"

"Look, I don't really do this often, but…"

"Uh-huh?"

"Thanks again…and I really owe you one. Seriously."

He could've sworn Tobi was smiling, but with that mask on, it was hard to tell.

"And listen. I may not be sick anymore, but do you think we could still do that…..hot chocolate thing?..." He was scratching the back of his head and averted his gaze from Tobi.

"………."

"Tobi?"

"OH HIDAN-SAN! I WOULD LOVE TOO!" He jumped on Hidan and swung around.

"OKAY! GEEZ! JUST GET OFF ME!"

Tobi jumped off and was about to talk about how much he would love to do this, until Kakuzu walked up to them.

"Time to leave."

"Fine."

With that they walked out for their mission.

He may by annoying as hell, but I guess he is an okay guy. And he really knows how to make some damn good coco…

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They returned about a day later. Like I said before, it was a pretty basic mission. No information was found and Hidan went off to find Tobi.

"ACHOO!"

What the hell?...

He ran upstairs to find Tobi in his bed, wrapped up in blankets, with Deidara sitting on a chair next to him.

"See Hidan? You passed around that cold you had. Hmm!" he was checking a thermometer. 101. Oh yeah, Tobi was sick.

"But I guess that's what you get for hanging around Hidan so much Tobi. Hmm." He got up to walk out and stopped in front of Hidan.

"You know, since Tobi helped you, I guess it's your turn to help him. Hmm!"

"Yeah! Hidan-san said he owed me one anyway!" The sick boy straightened up from his blanket coat.

Deidara left the room holding back from laughing. Hidan stared at the mass of covers known as Tobi, who was waving ecstatically, and let out a twitch and a sigh. He wanted to pay him back, just not like this.

Well, he thought, I guess there's a first for everything…

And in reality, there always is.

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Done! R and R please!