'kay. This is one of my first ff7 fics, it's about Tifa, and Yuffie. ....I tried to keep them in character, but.... I'm not sure how well I did.....^^;
Oh, and Enjoy.
...'kay.
...what the hell is wrong with her?
That's something I'm asking myself a lot lately.
She won't talk, won't listen to reason, won't do anything.
Then she blames me for not listening. Not caring.
Blame.
I guess it makes sense. She's been angry. Depressed. Must feel nice to blame someone. Anyone.
Yeah, Tifa, life sucks doesn't it?
…fuck off, Yuffie. You don't know what the hell I'm feeling right now…
And I don't. I don't get it.
It's been over a year since he's been gone. Cloud, of course. Some crazed idea about going to see Aeris. I don't get that either. Sure, I miss Aeris too. I want to see Aeris too. But I wouldn't…couldn't do it the way he did.
Tifa hasn't been the same way since.
She won't get over it.
She refuses to.
Won't even let me try to help.
I don't get it.
I….I guess I'll go and talk to her in a few minutes.
Try to help again, I guess.
She needs someone. I guess that'd be me.
Heh. Sounds so noble. I'm 'rescuing' her from her deep black hole. Right.
Wish I could say that I'm doing this because I care deeply about what she feels. But my reason is more selfish.
She's the only one left.
Everyone else has gone away. No one wants me. Except her. And even then, I'm only a punching bag for her. Someone to take out her depression on.
Still, I guess it's nice to be needed.
I wish we'd all stayed together. You'd think that accomplishing something that big would bond us all for life. I thought so.
Didn't happen though. We scattered. Barret, Cid, everyone. They all had a place to go to. Except Tifa, and me. Cloud too, when he was around. I hate him for leaving us like this. But now, and then, leaving seems like a good idea. Letting go of everything.
I hope that he and Aeris are happy.
We moved to Gongaga. Fitting, I guess. Gongaga isn't the happiest place. Tifa is far from the happiest person. Me, I'm just holding on as long as I can. To something.
I guess I could go back to Wutai. But it doesn't feel like home anymore. Dad and I are growing further, and further apart. We don't know each other anymore…did we ever?
I'm on my way up to her room now. Funny, I feel almost scared. Scared that she's going to be gone when I come. I can't afford to lose her too.
She's sitting on the bed. Still here. That's good.
"……When did you last eat?" My voice is dull. Lifeless. Much like her eyes.
"…….I don't remember," is her only comment.
"How 'bout sleep then? What did that last occur?" I'm trying a teasing tone. Anything to make her smile. I'm tired of her being like this.
She says nothing.
"Tifa?" I try again.
Nothing.
"Tifa, why the hell are you doing this? Answer me!"
Still nothing. I turn to go.
"……why did he leave, Yuffie?"
Same question. Same answer.
"….I don't know, Teef. Wanted to see Aeris, I guess," the words are so familiar. They should be. I say them every damn day. Why, why, why! I don't know why! You're such a whiner! Stop asking "Why" and get on with your life!
She sighs. This is where she says nothing. It happens every day. I go to leave again.
"…Aeris. He wanted to see Aeris. He couldn't live without her, I guess," I turn to look at her. She's staring at the ground. "…..Yuffie?"
"…..what?"
"…did we mean nothing to him? Every single one of us?" her voice is bitter.
"….." I don't know what to say. I don't know how to answer. I've asked myself that question so many times, and I don't know the answer. I probably never will. I want to say that he's happy with Aeris, that we do mean something, but that he needed to be with Aeris. But I can't.
"….I'd like to believe, Tifa, that yes, we did mean something to him. But…."
She waits, watching me. "….But?"
"But I can't. I have no idea if we meant anything to him. I have no idea if he could even stand being around all of us, without Aeris. But I don't care. He's gone. He's probably happy, too. He's not coming back."
She looks down. "Yeah…..he is gone, isn't he? He never will come back."
"…..why are you so sad over this anyway? He….he didn't love you. Not like that," I keep my voice gentle, I don't want it to hurt more that it will.
"No, he didn't love me, did he? I….I don't care about that I guess."
I blink. "You don't?"
"No, Yuffie, I don't. He…..he was my friend, Yuffie. He made me feel….needed. He…..was the only one who needed me, I guess. I….miss that. I need him. Why did he leave?"
She sounds so lost, so little, that I feel bad for her. Only for a second though. Because that's replaced by anger. Why, why, why! WHO CARES WHY?
"You know what? Shut up."
She blinks, and I can tell she's hurt. But I don't care. Because I'm saying what I've wanted to for a long, long time.
"All you do is sit and feel sorry for yourself all day long. Cloud this, and Cloud that. Well guess what? I don't care! Cloud's gone! He's not coming back! Ever! Stop whining and get on with your life, goddammit! And what do you mean he's the only one who needed you? I NEED YOU! I need you to stop being like this! It hurts ME! I need you to be my friend again! I NEED YOU TO CARE ABOUT ME!"
I feel like crying. Or throwing up. Maybe both. Because it hurts to say those words. It makes me feel pathetic.
Gawd, I'm such a child.
"…..you're not a child Yuffie," she's looking at me, perfectly calm, although I can see that her eyes are wet, like mine.
I didn't realize I had said that out loud.
"Why do you think you're a child? Because you need someone?"
I nod. I thought I could be all right on my own. I had left Wutai, swearing I would never need anyone again. Now look at me. I felt more adult back when I was 16, leaving that place. More adult at 16, than 18. Pathetic.
She looks down again. "….everybody needs someone, Yuffie. I needed Cloud. Now he's gone. I…..I still need him."
I look at her. "Need me."
She looks up abruptly, eyes wide.
I blink, and blush. "Not like that…..like a friend. Someone to talk to. To cry to. To help. Cloud may not be here Teef, but I am."
She looks away from me. "I…..know Yuff, I know. You ARE here," she fidgets with her hands. "You're….the only one who didn't leave. …..thank you, Yuffie."
The only one who didn't leave. My words. It's nice to hear someone feels the same way.
We sit silent for awhile. I finally break the silence.
"Are…..are things gonna change? Are….you….." I trail off.
She looks up at me. And gives me a smile. A shaky one, sure. But a smile, nonetheless. Something I haven't seen for awhile.
"…am I gonna 'get on with my life'?" She grins.
"….yeah." Exactly what I mean.
"….I'm gonna try, Yuff."
Best words I've heard in my life. "Trying is....is good. …Um…when you're….okay again, can we….move out of Gongaga?"
She laughs slightly. "Not the happiest place, is it? Sure, I guess we can."
I smile. She smiles. And I feel better.
I think we both do.
.....this didn't exactly turn out how I expected when I started....It was gonna be more.....depressing. But suddenly, in the middle of the fic, I decided to make it a little.....happier. I'm still debating over if this change was good or not....>_<
Thanks for reading.
Bye-bye.