Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Mortal Instruments characters.

CHAPTER 1

Clary woke up, screaming. She looked around her room, looking for any indication that her horrible dreams weren't dreams after all. She's gasping for breath and sweat is trickling down her face and arms. She's fighting tears, reminding herself that Shadowhunters don't cry when distressed. She took deep, calming breaths to normalize her pulse rate and shook her head to clear her foggy vision from sleep just as Luke burst through her doors.

"Clary—" He started.

"It's just my dreams again, Luke. Nightmares. You can go back to sleep." She said because she didn't want to bother him much more. She knows that Luke has been having a hard time dealing with her mother ever since that night two weeks ago when she discovered that Sebastian was alive. If you could even call his state living. Jocelyn can't seem to cope and she's throwing all her anger and frustration to Luke, who's clearly starting to be affected by it all.

Clary, of all people, knows that sometimes love might not be enough to help a person.

Oh, how she wish she didn't know that by experience.

"Clary, you've been having these dreams for two weeks. I can see that whatever it contains, it bothers you. So much that you end up screaming every night. Don't you want to talk about it?" Luke asked, worry etched in his face.

Clary glanced up at him for the first time ever since he came in. She's still breathing hard and she tried to calm it to ease his worry even a bit. He's wearing his normal sleep wear. Baggy sweatpants and a thin shirt, looking so overused. His hair is going in different places, and gray ones that weren't there two weeks ago littered his scalp. New lines were drawn in his face, making him look so much older than the only fatherly figure that Clary knew, which made her already worn heart clench. She can see that despite his usual clothes, nothing about his sleep is normal these days.

"I'm fine, Luke. I'm just still really shaken up because of…" She trailed off, not really knowing how to explain her dreams of Jace and, surprisingly, Sebastian. "…you know, things." She continued. She looked at Luke, and knew from the look in his eyes that he understood. So he gave her a reassuring half-smile, the only one that he could muster in his current state, and left the room.

Clary breathed a sigh and she unconsciously reached up to touch the ring clasped around her neck. The Morgenstern ring. But for her, it is Jace's ring. The symbol of his love for her. Her belief of his love, which is the only thing keeping her from breaking down these days.

She remembered the last moments she had with him. The way he held her, like she's the most precious thing he ever touched. He's the only who ever made her feel like that. The only one who ever made her feel beautiful. She remembered their soft, tender kiss. And now she can't help but think that that might have been unlike any other kiss that they have shared because it might be their last.

She felt helpless as a single drop of tear slid down her cheek. Shadowhunter or not, she can't help it if her feelings inside are screaming for release. She can't help feeling helpless now that it's been two weeks and they still haven't found a trace of Jace and Sebastian and she can't even do anything about it. She dropped her tear-streaked face in her hands. Frustration and red-hot rage is storming inside her because of the unfairness of things. Frustration for not being able to do anything to help Jace. Red-hot rage because of Sebastian and those Demons that they can't seem to shake out of their lives.

If this is the normal way of living for Shadowhunters, she doesn't know how much and for how long she can take it.

Sebastian. Even in her mind, his name tastes like poison. He might be her brother, but the blood in his veins is nothing like hers or Jocelyn's. She hates him so much that it hurt. And her dreams surely don't help to ease her anguish. Every night when she lay and closed her eyes, she can see Sebastian holding Jace's father's blade, plunging it to Jace's heart. She can't seem to shake the images that she gave up sleeping altogether. But then her body seemed to have given up and succumbed to sleep tonight.

Simon stood at Luke's lawn, remembering that the first time he heard about Shadowhunters was here. This is the place where it all started. This is the place that his life changed forever. But he can't help but think that maybe it actually really changed forever way before that, when he met Clary. He remembered the little, red-head girl who was his first love. That girl is so different from the girl he can see through the window now, crying so hard that her whole body shook. So different, yet still the same in so many ways.

"Are you sure about this?" Isabelle spoke beside him. She has a line between her brows, indicating that she's clearly worrying about something. Her black hair is dancing down her back because of the wind and her ever-present whip is coiled around her arm, looking like harmless bracelets.

"I mean, look at her. We can do this by ourselves but do you think she can handle it?" She continued.

"You're actually worried about Clary, Iz. This is so unlike you." Simon thought out loud.

Isabelle turned her head back to him with a look that could cut through glass.

"Simon Lewis, I was not joking." But he could see by the little upward curve of her lips that her tension was eased even a little by the comment.

"Come on, Iz. You know Clary. She would handle it less well if we leave her here to wallow in grief while we go off on this little missions by ourselves." She still looked unconvinced so he continued.

"Then she might go all hysterical female on the Clave and—"

Isabelle stopped him with a wave of her hand. "Okay, okay I get it. If anyone here knows what Clary needs it's you. You don't need to point out every worst possible scenario to me." She stopped, seeming to weigh her thoughts.

Simon noticed that there never was so much time between Isabelle's thoughts and the things that go out of her mouth. She was always so outspoken that Simon's so unused to the reserved nature that Isabelle's showing him these days. The events of the past couple of weeks have really taken its toll on everyone. Especially Jace's family and, of course, Clary.

"It's just that I can't help but think that this trip might even reach nothing in the end. I mean, we're going to risk everything for a little clue that we found. And I can't bear it when we get Clary's hopes up, and it will all be for nothing." Isabelle took a step forward, looking at Clary's humped form inside the house.

Simon knows that she isn't only talking about Clary. He knows that Isabelle's worry is also as much for herself.

"I know how it feels like to get your hopes up for nothing." She looked back at him and he can see shadows under her eyes, brought by sleepless nights worrying about Jace. They might not be blood related but Simon knows that their connection is thicker than blood. She already lost a brother and he can't even imagine how it must feel for her to lose another one.

"And I can tell you that it isn't the best feeling in this world." She finished.

He opened his mouth to reply but then a sudden movement by the bushes caught his eye. Isabelle saw it too and she lunged for it but, of course, he reached it first because of his vampire speed.

He grabbed at something in the unkempt bushes and came up with a naked Jordan.

"Whoa, man, it's me." Jordan, his roommate slash protector before he went back home, said.

"Okay, I'll just pretend that I didn't see that." Isabelle said. She wound back her whip that she coiled when she thought she was faced by an attacker. She hastily turned back, and impatiently tapped her booted foot.

Jordan was looking at him in a weird way and he realized that he released his fangs. He drew it back and released his friend.

"You didn't have to go all sneaky and jump to the bushes, you know." Simon told him, deciding not to mention Jordan's fright of him. He knows that it was just normal but something about it still bothered him deep to his gut.

"Well, yeah, but I didn't exactly want to flaunt my privates to Ms. Nephilim here when I changed form."

"And nice ones they were." Isabelle said who turned back when Jordan was fully-clothed.

"What?"

"Your privates."

Simon snickered and Jordan looked horrified.

"Does your girlfriend always talk like this?" Jordan asked.

"Yes."

"Okay. A, I'm not his girlfriend. Not anymore. And B, can we cut this crap because Clary's still sobbing her brains off and we're here discussing private parts. Let's get moving." Isabelle cut in.

Jordan and Simon looked at each other; both of them surprised by Isabelle's sudden change of mood, and then followed her to Clary's window.

"She's trained, and she doesn't even notice three people standing outside her window. If we're Demons, she's dead." Isabelle observed.

"She isn't exactly at the top of her game these days, Iz."

She didn't comment further, instead she just softly rapped her fist to the window.

Clary jerked, looked disoriented, jumped from the bed, grabbed the dagger on her bedside table, then faced them. All that in less than a second.

"Well, looks like she remembers some of her training after all."

Simon didn't comment, instead he just signaled to Clary to open the window.

She opened it, looked at their faced then lowered the dagger.

"Oh, hi. Izzy. Jordan. Simon." She wiped her face with her hands.

"What are you guys doing here at the middle of the night?"

The flush in her face is the only indicator that she is embarrassed to be caught crying.

"Well, actually—" Simon started but then Isabelle decided to cut to the chase and burst it out.

"We know where Jace is."

Did anyone of you felt like screaming after finishing City of Fallen Angels? Well, I did.=)) So I decided to make to this to pass the time before the real City of Lost Souls! Can't wait!

I hope you guys liked it!:) Review!:D