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Reflections

By Yen-sama

Tenou Haruka. A name as glorious as such should not be spoken by unworthy lips as my own, for I was the fool. It had been nearly six months, but those nostalgic memories are nearly second nature to me. Those ill-fated words repeat in my mind viciously; ravaging my thoughts, my feelings. Words that I wasn't sure if they had any truth behind them…

"I don't mind selling my soul to the devil, as long as I can be with you."

Selfish! So damn selfish! Haruka…

I'm selfish…

Me… Kaiou Michiru… Selfish… If I wasn't feeling so depressed, I would laugh. One would never think an adjective such as 'selfish' would ever describe me. But it does. If I had been more cunning and less in love, I would have realized it was deceit.

No, Haruka would never purposefully hurt me.

It was a virtuously plan to get close enough to Galaxia, and it would have succeeded if she had a star seed. Pluto and Saturn sensed it too… They sacrificed themselves in the name of our Princess. I hadn't realized it until death.

I know I said I had no regrets, but… in truth, I did. I've been questioning Haruka's feelings for me ever since. Was Haruka really so dedicated to the Princess that it was all? Because I was not born to the life of not a princess, but a soldier… did that mean I was worthy of deceit?

I must look awful.

"Michiru."

So terrible. I'm ashamed of myself.

"Michiru."

I deserve this sorrow. It will be my punishment for my selfishness.

"Michiru!"

"… Nani?" I looked up to meet the concerned eyes of Haruka. Please don't look at me like that.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes." No.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." No.

"The bell rang thirty minutes ago and you're still sitting here." She said as she gently placed her hand onto my mine. I think I flinched slightly because she pulled her hand away slowly. "… Michiru."

"I'll walk."

"It's a long walk, and you don't have comfortable shoes."

"I'll get my tennis shoes from my P.E. locker."

"Michiru."

"Haruka."

"Why do I have to fight with you everyday, Michi?"

"Because you're being argumentative."

"Michiru, you're becoming ridiculous!"

I couldn't take it anymore. "You're the ridiculous one!" I yelled at her as I stood up. Losing all composition, I threw a spiral bound notebook at her (which she caught with amazing accuracy.) She grabbed my hand and pushed me back down in the chair. I struggled, of course, but she was just way too strong for me. I gave up and she looked at me, smiling.

"What has gotten into you, my Michiru?"

I let out a sigh. There was no way I could win, even if she was wrong. This was the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. This was the person I was willing to burn in hell along side with. I wanted to grow old with that person. I wanted to fall asleep every night in this person's arms. However, six months ago, I felt betrayed by this person.

No… I felt betrayed because of myself.

"Michiru, let's go home."

"Okay, Haruka."

"I'll make you dinner, tonight. How does fish sound?"

"Absolutely wonderful."

The reality of it all is I still love Haruka. Perhaps maybe more now than ever. My love for her grows every time I open my eyes and I knew she felt the same. Maybe someday, I'll have the courage to tell her about these feelings… but today, it will be my own little secret. So I decided, today, that things were okay, I think…