[A/N]: This is just something I've written before; I'm just posting it up here. So please pardon the mistakes and enjoy~! _
o-o-o
"Even though it's only for five days, I'm still glad, Seto. It's surprising that you managed to find some time for our honeymoon. I was actually thinking of giving up on it." One might think that those words were some insulting words which were spoken in a sarcastic manner; however, one would certainly be mistaken. They were the honest words of an honest and lovely young woman who was also the wife of Kaiba Seto. He said nothing, just continued his action of hugging the woman from behind, watching the waves crashing with rocks on the seaside and focused on feeling the slightly strong but soft and warm wind that made the woman in his strong arms tremble a bit. He smiled the slightest of smiles, though it seemed like one of his infamous smirks. Lowering his lips to her ear, he spoke with a tone that was even softer than the wind. "Are you cold?" She didn't miss the smug edge of his murmur, but there was more love than smugness in his silky voice, so she chose to ignore it. "You know, a few months later, you won't be able to hug me like this. I will be huge." He couldn't see her face, but he was sure she was smiling her usual soft, charming smile. He could tell she was excited. He again said nothing and simply dragged the woman gently to the depths of their suit room…
-o-o-
White halls, white walls, white furniture, white curtains…
White, white, white…
White was everywhere.
She did not know how long had she been conscious of this plain environment, but she was so lost in thought wondering that she didn't even notice the steady beeping sound until she decided to examine the room she was in currently.
It sounded really close. Was it nearby?
Yes, it was nearby, since it was the sound of her own heartbeat
Then realisation dawned on her.
She was in a hospital.
With bandages covering her still thin and fragile body.
"I'm glad to see you are awake, [Name]-san. How are you feeling?" A man she assumed was a doctor stood up from his chair beside her bed and started to examine her while asking random questions. She gave him brief answers as she was trying to remember what has gotten her into a situation resulting in hospitalization.
She finally managed to remember something.
Falling down the stairs…
…of Kaiba mansion.
It was not so clear, but she could still remember the pain of it.
And the sharp pain in her belly.
"…So we need you to be careful of-"
"My baby…"
"P-pardon me?" The doctor seemed surprised by the sudden interference.
"Is my baby okay? Please tell me!"
After a short silence, he sighed, taking his time to choose the right words to say before speaking again.
"…I'm deeply sorry to tell you this, but you had a miscarriage."
To be honest, she already knew the truth the moment she woke up with an empty feeling. She couldn't feel her baby anymore.
Still, she wanted to hear it from someone else's mouth; that way, it would seem more like the truth. She had a tiny hope that her intuition was wrong this time, just a tiny hope, but it was crushed after the words the doctor uttered with great sadness.
Her baby…
Her baby was gone.
And she perfectly knew the one at fault.
Herself.
[Name] knew that it was all her fault.
"…Could you leave me alone please," was all she could utter before letting the tears fall. The doctor left the room immediately to give her enough space to mourn her lost.
And there she was just a moment ago, having a pleasant dream of her best times with Seto.
They were all left behind now.
-o-o-
Right that moment, Seto decided that he hated white. The long corridors looking the same, painted with the plain colour he had grown to hate.
White halls, white walls-
Moreover, the fact that he couldn't find the room he was looking for just doubled his hate towards the obnoxious structures.
Hospitals.
The call he got from the said hospital with bad news about his wife was unbelievable at first. He thought it was another trap of his enemies.
Yet, it was not.
He rushed to the stupid place [Name] was brought, demanding for a reasonable explanation from the first doctor he came across, only to find that he was not even a doctor. Getting angrier by the second, he finally managed to find the room 2855.
What kind of a stupid number was that for a room?
Cursing at himself for paying attention to it for even less than a second, he rushed into the said room.
There she was.
Her still thin and fragile body wrapped in bandages. She seemed asleep, and it was obvious as day that she cried herself to sleep.
What could possibly hurt her this much to cause a scene like that?
Aside from his being an ass, that is.
He knew he hurt her pretty badly, he had seen the pained expression on her lovely face, for the first time in his life.
Even though he loved her, the first and only woman in his life…
…he betrayed her.
The reasons were too complicated, but one thing was certain: he didn't do it because he wanted to.
Whatever the reasons might be, it didn't change the fact that he hurt her.
And this was the result.
He knew the one at fault.
Himself.
-o-o-
He was having a bad day.
Yes, the great Kaiba Seto was having a bad day.
Actually, the day could have taken the top place in his 'worst days ever' list.
If he had one, that is.
Not only did he forget an important meeting with an important client, but also he accidentally knocked a whole cup of coffee over right onto that important person.
Seriously, what was wrong with him that day, the perfect workaholic who was supposed to be perfect everyday and was called perfect more than once a day.
When he managed to think about it with a calmer manner, he realised it was not his fault. Yes, it was not his fault.
The one who deserved that honour was, with no doubt, his deceased step father, Kaiba Gozaburo.
Big surprise? No, not really.
The fact that Seto was the only person who had to clean up the mess the old man created pissed the young CEO even more. The shadow of Gozaburo still after him, Seto was starting to feel more and more worn out as the days passed.
Mokuba was unable to help him and [Name]…
Seto didn't want to let his thoughts wander over to her. Not yet.
Kaiba Corp. had been keeping its position as the best game company for over 8 years since Seto restored it, cleansing it from his step father's dirty hands and it was certain that KC would continue to keep that title for a long time.
If Fierté[1], a French game company, had never decided to do business in Japan.
His bad day could only worsen even more with a single phone call.
If that phone call was from a hospital.
-o-o-
She did not need him to talk; she could already feel his presence. His scent that was unique, his slow breaths which she always found relaxing to listen to, even the pace of his soft steps were so Seto-like.
She didn't open her eyes; she knew that he knew she was awake. Yet, she just hoped that Seto would think she was too tired to open her eyes.
Or too tired of him to actually bother talking to him.
"[Name]," he spoke softly, partly hoping for her to reply right away. He had already noticed that he had a long way to go before the woman actually spoke to him again, let alone forgive him.
"Listen to me before you come to a decision. Calm down and discuss the problems with me properly. I am not going to force you into anything, but the matters are different when it comes to the baby. I—"
What was he saying all of a sudden? The words he uttered shamelessly were not the ones on his mind. He was not planning these harsh words. He was going to ask for forgiveness and explain things properly. Explain the truth properly. Why he was so angry was a mystery to even himself. He was angry at [Name] for making things complicated. He was angry at Gozaburo for creating this mess. He was angry at himself for being this useless. He was angry at himself because he could not do anything.
"What are you talking about, Seto?" Young woman suddenly sat up in her bed. The shock of Seto's cruel words made her forget about the pain in her stomach. She was having a hard time managing her raw anger towards him, yet she somehow restrained it. "You are saying that you don't give a damn about me but you will not stay quiet about my child?"
"I said no such thing. But what I mean is you don't have the right to decide on your own. I am his father."
"With what you have done, I have every right to decide on my own!" By that point, she couldn't even control her tears, so she didn't bother anymore.
She didn't care what would happen anymore.
"And just for the record, I had a damn miscarriage!"
The last words of the young woman hit him like a giant stone, finally making his façade crumble. His emotionless mask, his cold attitude, his arrogant personality were all gone.
"…What," he only managed to say, before letting his head fall into his hands.
The room remained silent for seconds, minutes, or maybe hours. Neither of them said a word; neither of them looked at the other. They just sat in silence, [Name] trying to restrain her soft sobs, but failing to do so.
"…I want to divorce." [Name] finally said, ruining the uncomfortable silence. "No deals, nothing. I want nothing. Just let me go."
Seto finally raised his head after her words sank in. He said only one word as her reply. The word that made [Name] beyond angry, the word that left her speechless for a long moment, the word that gave her the tiniest hope that maybe they could still be saved.
"No."
Was he just making fun of her, just playing with her or was he actually serious? He was having an affair with a woman, so why would Seto still want her? Why [Name]? If he loved her, why someone else was also in his bed?
Questions drove her crazy. She wanted to scream and throw her anger up on him, yet she just couldn't say anything, couldn't move. Couldn't even raise her head to look into his eyes to see whether he was serious when he said that single word of refusal.
"Why?" Fresh tears were still sliding down her face even though she had no more tears to cry.
"Because I will not let you go." She knew that he would be looking into her eyes if she faced him right now. "I did not betray you, [Name]. Will you listen what I have to say?"
She lied back, but this time she looked directly into his eyes, demanding an answer to clear her obvious confusion.
"That man, who is the real culprit of this misunderstanding, arranged a deal with a foreign company, which resulted worse than he could imagine. The CEO, a young woman with whom you thought I was having an affair, could not take over the company because of that deal between Gozaburo and the previous executive officer, the woman's father. I cannot explain the details to you, but in order to stop that company to invade Domino City's economy, as well as Japan's, I had to appear to the French media as her fiancée. In turn, they will declare the deal off."
This is the first time he spoke this much to me, [Name] thought bitterly. She was sitting up again, her back against the headboard and her eyes drifting towards the window. Surprisingly, her room was facing the coast; she could see some little boats.
She watched them sail for a while before speaking as Seto was expecting her to say something, anything.
"…In the end, it is still about your company, eh?" she whispered, a fake smile plastered on her unusually pale face. Her head snapped towards his direction so suddenly that he thought he heard a cracking noise. "Now you must expect me to jump in your arms after you have been cleared." She stated the obvious.
He didn't miss the sarcasm hidden well in her declaration. "Even though it sounds selfish, yes, I do."
"You have always been a selfish man, Seto. I just chose to ignore that fact in order to be with you."
The room fell silent once again.
Then, something came to his mind.
"You don't have to forgive me just yet. But at least continue to live with us until you come to a certain decision. Rushing won't do us any good. And," he stopped for a moment to create the needed impact, "Mokuba would be very sad if you suddenly left."
He knew.
He knew that she could never say no to even the mention of the boy's name.
She just adored Mokuba too much.
She nodded her head once. The corner of Seto's lips twitched slightly.
He was a genius, after all.
-o-o-
It had been almost a month since [Name] was out of hospital and never did she speak a word to the young CEO, even for once. She didn't leave her room most of the time as her doctor instructed her that she should stay in bed for a while. Seto's doctor would come occasionally to check up on her.
She refused to be honest with herself, but she actually missed the young man so much that sometimes she would wake up to find herself wrapped up in one of his shirts, quickly throwing in away once she realised what she was doing.
She knew that she shouldn't still be angry with him; he was not the one at fault. Still, she thought that he should have at least informed her of the situation so that she wouldn't misunderstand and get angry.
She lost her child because she got angry.
She was mature enough not to blame Seto because of her own mistake. She would regret it forever.
The knock on her door woke her up from her deep thoughts. The soft 'come in' was almost unheard, unless the person at the door was all ears for her voice.
He was the one she least expected. She was not ready to face him yet. So when he barged into the room, locking the door behind himself in the process, and rushed to the bed; she nearly screamed.
"I told you not to come into my room, Seto!"
"This is our room, [Name], mind you." He made himself comfortable at the edge of the large bed and fixed his blue hues upon her trembling form. "I'm here to ask you only one question."
His left eye was slightly twitching as if he was struggling so hard to control his anger. Seto was never the one to care for others except his brother; [Name] was actually impressed though it was not the time to be.
"Did you throw yourself off the stairs?" His question was so sudden, his voice ready to turn into hysteric screams, that she was dumbfounded. She could do nothing but stare at his scary face right now, she was frozen. If she answered, would he jump on her and try to kill her?
When Seto noticed how badly the young woman was trembling and how wide her eyes were, he broke the eyes contact, turning away from her, and put his head between his hands. "Why?"
That simple question hovered in the air, suffocating the room and making it hard to breathe for her. She was aware of the question's mental pressure, but how could she answer? When she didn't know the answer, how could she make her lover relieve?
Was he her lover anymore?
"…I don't know," she mumbled and faced the other way, pushing her head into pillows and avoiding eye contact no matter what.
Seto knew that he hurt her before, but he never noticed the extent of it, not until now.
He sighed and before she could stop him, the young man lay behind her, caging the tiny body between his arms. He inhaled slowly, savouring the scent of her lovely [h/c]. It had been so long since he got to hold his wife like this.
"W-What are you doing? Let me go this ins—"
"Stay still for a moment," he ordered, and she complied. She missed the feeling of his arms. She missed the way he would change only when they were alone. She missed his soft breath against her neck, shoulders and hair.
He could be called tsundere[2]. She smiled at the word.
She still loved him and still wanted to be by his side, in his arms. Seto threw his pride to the side by coming to her room after gathering enough courage –and a slight push from Mokuba-.
Now it was her turn to throw her meaningless pride. Right out the window.
She grabbed his hand which was resting on her stomach and held it tightly. She knew that he would understand. The tightening of his arms proved her right.
No words were exchanged that night. For they knew words would be meaningless by that point. Both were at fault; both knew it.
Seto was not a man for words.
[Name] need not be told, she knew it very well.
-o-o-
[1] It means pride in French (I hope I used it correctly*fail*). I'm not even sure myself why a game company's name would be 'pride'. Whatever ._.
[2] I always wanted to use that word! You probably know what it means, so I won't bore you by trying to explain it.