A Little Strange
Sirius was a bit strange, in all respects. This Remus knew without a doubt, however, he wasn't expecting this…
Sirius had walked into the kitchen in his boxers, grabbed the chocolate sauce from the refrigerator, and had drunk it straight out of the bottle.
"Sirius! That's disgusting!" Remus made a face.
Sirius smiled, revealing chocolate-stained teeth. "You eat raw hamburger."
"Only on nights before the full moon, and you know why…. You have no excuse."
"Actually… I've been meaning to tell you…." Sirius looked slightly sheepish.
"What?" Remus looked slightly apprehensive.
"Remus…. I…." Sirius swallowed another mouthful of chocolate. "I'm pregnant."
"WHAT??!?!" Remus' eyes popped out of his head, and he fainted.
Twenty minutes later:
"Mooney…. Moooooooney…. Love? Mooney, wake up!" Remus felt something smacking his face lightly. He groaned.
"Sirius…" He opened his eyes slowly, "What…."
"Happened? You fainted." Sirius smiled at him. "Rather spectacularly, too…"
Remus gave Sirius the once-over. "You're still in your underwear…."
"Any objections?"
"No… WAIT A SEC!!!" Remus' eyes repeated their earlier feat of popping out of their sockets. "You're….?"
"Yes. It's rather common in pure-blood families for males to be able to-"
"You can't be serious!"
"I've been Sirius since the day I was born. Anyways, you know, all of the inbreeding and such can cause genetic defects… And voila, I'm pregnant." Sirius smiled slightly.
"And… who's the father?"
"Well…. I dunno…."
"WHAT?!?!" Remus yelped out. "How can you not know?!"
"Eh heh… well…. You know me…." Sirius scratched the back of his head, smiling nervously.
"Nevermind… Um…." Remus shook his head, rubbing one of his eyes, "Padfoot… are you going to go through with it?"
"I think so… Would you help me if I do?"
"Of course, Pads…." Remus shook his head.
"What?"
"Just… I'm still shocked… Are you going to tell James?"
"I'm not sure, considering how you took it…" Sirius blushed slightly…
"All right… well…. I'll leave it up to you… Do you need anything?"
"No, not really." Sirius took another swig of chocolate sauce before standing and leaving the room. "Oh, and Mooney…" Sirius called over his shoulder.
"Yes, Pads?"
"Men can't get pregnant."