Disclaimer: I do not own any of the books in the Twilight series.
Ok, this is just a little story I wrote some night. I was really tired, so you most likely don't think it's funny. I did, but I had too much sugar in my blood to be a judge for that. Enjoy!
Emmett's POV
Edward and Alice had just gone out, to the shopping mall. Don't ask me why he went voluntary, but I had a clue that they were buying something for Bella. 5 minutes after they left in Edward's ugly Volvo, someone knocked on the door. Sadly, I was in the middle of a game on my Playstation, so I was not capable of opening it. I had just bought the new Harry Potter game, and I was having some trouble killing some gnomes, when someone was standing outside the window. My concentration was lost, and therefore, Harry didn't make it. My anger was replaced with excitement when I saw who was standing out there, in the pouring rain.
"Bella!" I grinned. She looked at me, angrily, making sings for me to open the front door. Bella, my favorite human, was hysterical funny when she was angry. Her face went all red, and her hands were waving hopelessly.
"Why didn't you open the door, Emmett?! I was nice and dry, before I had to go around the house to get your attention!"
"Bella, calm down! I just had to kill a few gnomes, and finish the level! And now Harry is not pleased because I bailed on him.." Damn, Harry would definitely be mad at me. I had, after all, let him down just as I were kicking some gnome ass! Bella and Harry mad.. Not good. But, because of some genius, better known as myself, I knew what would make up for it. Bella screamed as I picked her up in a big, brotherly BEAR-hug!
"Emmet! You're smashing me!" she made a weird breathing sound, and I put her down at the floor again. It would be pretty idiotic to kill her in a hug, since Edward had put so much work in keeping her alive. But imagine the headlines! "Girl, 18, killed by boyfriend's brother, by a hug" I chuckled at the thought.
Bella's POV
Okay, Emmet is totally weird today. First, he ignores me knocking on the door, and I had to stand in the rain outside the window, to rip him away from the TV and his precious Harry Potter. And then, after letting me in, he hugs me and gets this weird look on his face, and his eyes sparkling with amusement. Whatever he's planning, it can't be good. Or healthy.
"So, where's Edward? He asked me if I wanted to come over today," I said, breaking Emmett's daydreaming. He snapped back to reality after some few seconds. So much for vampire speed.
"He's out shopping with Alice. But you can hang out with me instead!" he said, with a much too wide grin on his face. I knew that face. It was the face he used when he had plans, considering making a fool out of me.
"No thanks," I replied quickly "I'm just going to go up to Edward's room, to wait for him" I quickly maneuvered myself away from him, but as I walked fast against the stairs, I tripped in my own feet and fell. I hit the floor hard, and was met by Emmett's booming laugh. I quickly stood up, and gave him the best death-glare I could do, and marched up the stairs. He was still laughing hard when I entered Edward's room, and sat down at the couch. I was absolutely exhausted after spending the whole day cleaning Charlie's house. Believe me, there was some pretty gross stuff there, since he never cleaned! It didn't take much time before I felt my eyelids starting to get heavy, and I had no energy left fighting them. And off I was, to dreamland.
Emmett's POV
After laughing my ASS off, watching Bella trip-and-blush (that was the nickname of her "accident's". Me and Jasper are the proud inventors off that name, even though I am the one who should take all the credit), I walked up to my room, passing Edward's room, where the door was open. Since I am, after all, a true gentleman, I reached out for the door-handle, to close it. But there, little Bella laid on Edward's couch sleeping. And since there was no one around, I walked in and closed the door behind me. This was going to be so much fun!!
Luckily, Edward still had some of Alice's makeup kit on his bathroom, after Bella had gone through several makeovers. I snapped it, and started to do my work. A little lipstick here, and there, and oh! Glitter! This is so exciting!
There was only one thing missing: music. Music that would get Emmett in the mood! As I looked through Edward's CD collection, nothing that would bring forth the artist in me was to find. That's when I came over the place where all of his throw-away CD's were. JESS, both Britney Spears and Spice Girls were here! This could turn out quite interesting, as I pushed the "PLAY" button, and adjusting the volume so Bella wouldnt hear, but I did with my good hearing. It didn't take long before I got in the REAL mood, and started experimenting with some interesting twists. Just as when I started singing with Baby Spice, I was interrupted.
Jasper's POV
When I heard some noises coming from Edward's room, I decided to check it out. The sight that met me was horrifying. Emmett was standing besides the couch, with a dead, or sleeping Bella on it, putting on makeup on her and himself. Bella looked like a clown, and Emmett like a drag queen, with a leather, pink, miniskirt on, and a little tank-top, with the writing "God, I'm gorgeous" on it. And he was listening to Spice Girls.
The whole thing got even more disturbing, when Bella started speaking. At least she wasn't dead.
"No, I do not like that Santa Claus!" she whispered. A little shocked Emmett stared at her, and then at me. I only managed to choke out the words "sleep-talking" before I had to calm both me and Emmett down. We couldn't wake her up now, because this could get quite interesting! I sat down besides Emmett on the floor, next to the couch. It didn't take long before she spoke again.
"Wow, that was really purple. Is it frizzy?" she said. Emmett didn't manage to choke his laugh, so I sent calm and sleepy waves over Bella, so she didn't wake up. Emmett whispered a "Sorry" before we got back to listening.
"Oh, Edward! You can't do that here! Anyone can see!" this time, I decided to take this to the nest level.
"My dearest Bella, why not?" I had to admit, I was pretty good at making Edward's voice. Emmett gave me a high five in the air, as we turned back to see her reaction.
"Because, people react on those stuff," she spoke in a teasing voice. Now, Emmett was the one to speak.
"But what if I want to do that? Why can't I, sugarpuff?" behind all of his struggling not to laugh, he was quite a good 'Edward'. It took some time before she answered that. While we were at it, I sent some waves of truth at her. She had no chance of getting away now.
"Well, alright! You are aloud to wear my clothes, but it's only today, and inside my house. I know you want to wear that dress, so why don't we dye your hair green to go with it?" it was impossible to not laugh now. It was too weird, we were having a conversation with someone who was asleep! We where both rolling on the floor laughing, when a angry Edward stood at the doorstep.
"What are you two doing with my poor Be.." was all he got out, before Bella spoke again.
"No Edward, don't cry! I'm sure we can try to get it in tour size too! What about a pink one, with 'Sassy' written all over it? You look lovely in pink."
Edward's face was priceless. So was his emotions. They were all about shock, anger, embarrassment, confusion and amusement. Soon, the one who was dominating took over, which was the last. Amusement. He sat down next to me, and whispered some words into Bella's ear.
"Bella, what do you think of Emmett's jokes?" he had an evil grin on his face, and it only grew bigger when she replied.
"Dorky, but kinda cute. I love the way he acts like a five year old," Emmett was deeply insulted, and shot is underlip out, in a pout. But Bella wasn't finished talking.
"Especially, when he tries to look hurt, when he is pouting. It's just so adorable!" I was now rolling on the floor, holding my hands on my sides. It hurt, because I laughed so much.
"And my dearest Bella, what do you think of Jasper's driving?" Uh oh. He had hit my soft spot. I stopped laughing and looked at Bella. What did she think of my driving?
"He's the only one who drives safely in your family! But sometimes it goes too slow.." Well, someone had to be the reasonable driver in the family?
"He kinda drives like my grandmother. She's nearly blind." Ow. That hurt. It was dead silence before everyone broke out in laughter.
Edward sighed, and went out on the bathroom to get some makeup remover for Bella.
Bella's POV
When I woke up, I was in my angels arms. He was carrying me down the stairs, and put me on my feet as we greeted the others in the living room. I had a feeling about that they had just talked about me, because a stupid grin was on everyone's faces. Except Jasper's and Emmett's. They just looked insulted. What did I do?
"Well, I'm driving Bella home everyone. And no, Jasper, you don't need to drive. We all know you get a little confused when you try to figure out why everyone is driving in the wrong file," Edward said. Jasper just sent him a mean look.
"Well, as long as Emmett doesn't try to make any childish, let say 5 year old, jokes I'll be fine!" Jasper replied, and grinned at Emmett.
"Yeah, you don't need to cry Eddie, just because the car isn't your size!" Emmett said. What was going on between those three? They were making really bad jokes. Edward just rushed me against the door.
"Wow, those insults hurt, you guys! Seriously, are you still in kindergarten?" Alice was the one speaking now.
"Yeah, Emmett" Jasper said, before running past Edward and I, soon followed by a raging Emmett.
"What happened while I was asleep?" I asked Edward. He just smiled his crooked smile, and kissed my lips.
"Oh, we were just talking. So, do you really mean that I look lovely in pink?"