Hey everyone. Sadly, this'll be the only thing I'll post in the next few days at least. I'm going to have radiation done tomorrow, so I'll be laid up in bed. Hopefully I'll be able to write after the grogginess from the anesthesia wears off. Anyway, hopefully I'll be back to writing and updating soon. Disclaimer: Me no own Jake, Cassie, Ax, Marco, or Rachel. (sneaky grin, then is hit in the back of the head with a plastic cup) fine, and I don't own Tobias either... it's a sad world...
I stared at Jake after he had told me what he wanted me to do.
He wanted me to kill Tom. But Tom wasn't by himself. He had several morph-capable Yeerk buddies who could help him out.
But that wasn't what I was staring at my cousin for.
I knew what would happen if I took this mission. I knew what it would cost me.
I knew what it would cost everyone.
Cassie would lose me. Her best friend. I doubted she would ever trust or listen to Jake again, after this was over. Almost all hope for them to have a relationship would be gone if I went through with this.
Marco would know it had to be done. He wouldn't be happy about how it was done, but he knew. He would be sad that he would lose his Xena, the one person who could really give it back to him as he gave it out. But he wouldn't hold it against Jake.
Ax... I didn't know exactly how he would take it. He would have gone in my stead, had Jake asked him. But he was too important. Jake couldn't risk losing Ax.
Jake would be the one who would lose the most, I think. He would lose his brother. My family would probably never forgive him. I knew my mother probably wouldn't. He would lose Ax, I think, for the lack of trust. Ax would feel betrayed that Jake hadn't asked him to do it. He would lose me. He would lose Cassie. And if he lost Cassie he would most likely lose himself. Marco would lose Jake himself. And Tobias...
I took a shaky breath as I thought of him. His dreamy eyes, his blonde hair that would fall over his eyes...
He would take it the hardest. I was the only human to ever really love him at all. I knew for a fact I was one of the only reasons he didn't give himself over to the hawk instincts. The other was the war. And gosh, I loved him. We kept each other grounded. He kept me from letting this... darkness inside of me take over. I kept him from losing himself.
And me... I would lose everything. I would lose Cassie, Jake, Marco, Ax. Tobias. I would lose my life.
If I didn't do this, we would lose. The war. The Yeerks would take over and make everyone controllers.
If I did do this... everyone would be safe. Everyone wouldn't be controllers.
But my friends - the other Animorphs - would lose.
I sighed. Either way, someone would lose.
I ran a hand through my blonde hair and looked back at Jake. He was staring at me.
"Rachel, I'll understand if you don't want to do this-"
I held up a hand to keep him from going on. "Jake, if I don't do this, we'll lose. The war, the planet, the whole galaxy, even. If I do... We can save it. We'll win." I took a deep breath.
"I'll do it."