A/N: Light Slash, Clex
To: , Sender: Lex
I could dance around it and tell you I was hit by these peculiar feelings and I didn't know what it all meant, but the truth is, I'm completely attracted to him. Now before you decide to point that large finger at the disguised village alien, you must know that I have the utmost respect for him and would never - I'm saying this for the sake of brevity - make a pass at him.
I haven't had many friends in my life. In fact, I've really only had two. One of them, I beat his face until it looked like a mangled cat but that's a story I don't feel like expanding on just yet. The person who I have successfully maintained a friendship with is someone pretty much like me but entirely backwards. I say this because we both seem to have grand goals in life yet we live in completely different social structures. I don't exactly know what his life goal is to be honest, but just by the way he's always being the fire extinguisher in any quarrel without expecting anything in return makes me believe he wants to be some kind of idol for good will among men. It's unnatural, to me anyway. I was taught that all humans strive and excel at stepping over each other to be the top dog. I guess, we really want the same things in life only we go about it in different ways.
I like the way he smiles. That whole contagious smile deal definitely applies here. I feel this kind of calm when I'm next to him. I don't know if it's because of him or if it's the affects of having a close friend. It bothers me not knowing for sure. In the end, it doesn't really matter. He saved my life and I have a funny feeling he's saved me many more times without me knowing it. I'd do anything to keep this friendship. That's a social commitment I rarely make so it's both stimulating and frightening at the same time.
This room I keep, of the accident. It goes against everything this friendship stands for. If he were to see these pictures, the velocity readings, the impact angles on the car, I don't know what I would do. I need to get rid of it all. I need to do this without secrets. But I don't think I can. To tell you the truth, I can't play the best friend. Eventually he'll see through my disguise. I'm not his attracted opposite. I don't share his goal. The next time I see him I will wave and smile because he's only another stepping stone under my foot.