Not A Secret

*.*.*.*.*

It wasn't actually supposed to be a secret, really. Arthur wasn't embarrassed to be with Merlin, and Merlin wasn't embarrassed to be with Arthur, there was no shame or regret or anything like that, they just… well, never thought they needed to make an announcement or anything of the sort to the entire kingdom. Granted, if they were ever to be wed, they probably would, but, for now, they were just happy to be together and in love, and it wasn't that big of a deal, they thought.

But somehow, without them really deciding on anything or wanting to, it became something they danced around anyway, fingers loosening, kisses ceasing, as soon as anyone else came into the room or down the hall towards them. It was completely ridiculous, the way they jumped apart, smoothing out their hair and clothes and acting as though they hadn't just been doing whatever they'd just been doing—passing kisses and whispers of wants and heart's desires via kisses and the careful pressing or tangling of fingers, or whathaveyou.

It was especially ridiculous the way Arthur had to restrain himself when they were out in public. Really, it was. That he couldn't take Merlin's hand or escort him through the market or kiss him hello or goodbye when they met up or parted ways if there happened to be someone about, that he couldn't say 'I love you' or touch or talk about romances or anything of the such was just... so fucking ridiculous.

But, Arthur told himself one such day when Leon turned down the hall he and Merlin had been walking down, their hands falling apart, a cold wind striking Arthur's heart at the loss of Merlin's wondrous fingers in his own, it was his own fault. No one told him he couldn't do any of those things or that he had to restrain himself around others. Merlin had never expressed such wishes, and Arthur had never said they should do any of that either—God, Arthur had definitely never said they should do anything like that.

Though he would admit, at first, it had been exciting, tucking themselves away in corners and darkened halls and empty rooms, hearts racing with the excitement of being caught in a secret that wasn't actually meant to be a secret—and actually, it was still exciting, doing that. Though they'd been doing it for years now, it never ceased to be exciting, if... tiring. As much as Arthur enjoyed getting lost in a secret that wasn't meant to be a secret, he hated it too, found it frustrating, found it even more frustrating that the two feelings were at war in side his head and body, that he could never quite decide how he felt about this secret that wasn't supposed to be a secret.

So rather than deal with it, rather than talk it out with Merlin, talk out the frustrations and the excitement, he took to, well, cornering Merlin all the more often, even less secretive in this secret that wasn't actually meant to be a secret than he'd been before. The halls he backed Merlin against walls in started becoming better lit, the rooms he stole him away into became more likely to have the door swing open any moment now, known for their frequent visitors by knights or servants. His touches were braver, more bold, kisses more lingering and rough and more likely to turn into something else that couldn't be covered up or broken away from too easily.

Arthur's solution wasn't any sort of solution at all, really, and God were they both fine with that. Or at least, Arthur certainly was, and he didn't exactly hear Merlin complaining either...

Arthur was much more than fine with it when Merlin himself shoved Arthur into a closet one afternoon after a morning of Arthur sending him much too suggestive and flirtatious looks over meetings and during training. God, there were knights and servants everywhere that afternoon in preparation of an important banquet, and one of them was bound to need something out of this room sooner or later. That was far too exciting a thought but, well, even it wasn't worth dwelling over too terribly with his back digging into some shelf and Merlin's tongue tracing along his jaw, and sending a shiver down his spine as hands groped and fingers traced.

God.

"You're such a prat," Merlin murmured, words too light and awe-filled to be insulting.

Arthur let out a breathy chuckle, asked, "Am I?"

"Mhm," Merlin said, tilting Arthur's head to kiss along the skin just there that Arthur knew he knew was just as sensitive as Merlin's was. The king let out a moan, hitched his hips against Merlin's in want as he dug his fingers into Merlin's body, knowing that if he didn't loosen his hold he'd leave bruises he'd have to kiss apologies over later.

He didn't loosen his grip for even a moment.

Instead, he gripped tighter, tugged Merlin towards him all the more so suddenly Merlin's mouth was leaving his neck and trailing back up to his own lips instead, leaving a rough, needy kiss there that tasted as taboo as this moment felt. God, even though it shouldn't have.

"That door's going to open any minute now, and I'm going to get caught with the king of Camelot shagging me, so that does make you a bit of a prat," Merlin insisted, pulling back to give Arthur a smile full of glint and promise.

"Don't be such an idiot, Merlin," Arthur rolled his eyes, twisted them around suddenly and without warning so Merlin was the one with something uncomfortable digging into his back, Arthur pressing him further into it with a kiss to silence any sounds of surprise he let out by the sudden action. "That's not what's going to happen at all," he finished in a murmur when he pulled back, hands finally leaving their too tight grip to work at Merlin's breeches, lowering them slowly, eyes on Merlin's all the while as he did.

He saw the question just there, knew Merlin wanted to ask, wanted to question just what was going to happen then in that cheeky, defiant tone of his, but Arthur's look did enough to keep him quiet, because maybe, actually, they wouldn't be interrupted. It was a busy day, but the odds of someone needing something from that particular closet was, well, slim, Arthur hoped. As exciting as the thought of almost being caught was, and as much as Arthur wanted this non-secret of theirs to truly not be a secret, it would be the worst thing for them to get interrupted now, for someone to open that door and catch them, because the things he wanted to do to Merlin just then had absolutely no business being interrupted.

He leaned back in to kiss Merlin again, hands wandering to the other's exposed lower half, and just as his fingers found something they wanted to wrap around and Merlin moaned into the kiss, Arthur heard something he could have ignored, really, could have decided was just his ears playing tricks on him, really, as badly as he wanted his ears to just be playing tricks on him just then. Only—

"Oh for fuck's sake," an exasperated voice hissed, a voice Arthur recognized and very badly didn't want to recognize.

He pulled away from Merlin and turned half around, eyes falling on Gwaine, of all people, and the unimpressed look that was on his face.

"Just because the entire castle already knows how deep you two are in, and what you two are doing doesn't mean you need to be doing it where just anyone can walk in on you—haven't either of you got a room all your own with a lock on the door you can do this in?"

"Wait," Arthur said suddenly, ignoring Gwaine's less than serious question, eyes narrowing at what else he'd said, taken aback. There was no way Arthur had heard that right... "What do you mean—"

"—the entire castle already knows?" Merlin finished for him, glancing around Arthur to give Gwaine much the same look Arthur was giving him.

"We're not stupid," Gwaine replied, shaking his head. "I'd wager the entire kingdom knows, more like, but at the very least, everyone in the castle already knows about what you two do in the hallways and corners and your chambers and everywhere else, apparently. We thought you had at least enough decency to not take advantage of every room and surface that you could, but I guess we were wrong, and I owe Percival and Leon money now. I'll just... leave you two to it, and go pay the pipers," he sighed, shaking his head once again before he closed the door, leaving Merlin and Arthur no room or time to address any of what he said.

Arthur turned back around after blinking after Gwaine for half a moment, and gave Merlin the same look Merlin was giving him—surprised and shocked and the tiniest bit embarrassed that neither of them had ever known just how much of their relationship was known to, well, everyone apparently.

After a careful moment of neither of them saying anything, Arthur moved his hands back to where they'd been before Gwaine had interrupted them, leaned in close to Merlin to kiss him once again, though before his lips actually touched the other's, he said, sly and teasing and low, "I told you you weren't going to get caught shagging the king."

Merlin snorted and closed the rest of the distance between their lips too easily, the almost promise of, "Not today, anyway," leaving those same lips that Arthur wouldn't pull away from until the moment he absolutely had to just before.

It seemed that the secret that wasn't meant to be a secret anyway, was less of a secret than Arthur had thought it was. Which was really just as well.

*.*.*.*.*