I'd like to dedicate this story to me, who bruised his leg bone while skiing down a double black diamond trail (the hardest of the hardest of the hardest of all of the slopes). I'm not sure where this story will end. Oh, and It'll take a couple of reviews for me to upgrade.

Ever wonder what happens when our favorite detectives visit the hospital? A humorous fic about what Funimation never showed you.

"So then, suddenly, he goes into this huge speech. It's totally crazy! Here I am, totally at his mercy, and he's just refusing to shut up!" Exclaimed Yusuke.

"Yes, Yusuke, and you've told us this story how many times?" Touya asked bitterly, trying to keep his leg elevated onto the armrest.

"But it's still a good one!" Yusuke commented, trying to keep his arm elevated.

"Excuse me, Mr. Urameshi?" asked the secretary, gazing among the five. "Doctor Bownman will see you now." She said.

"About time." He groused. "We've been here almost 10 minuets!" He said, handing her the form that he had signed with his left hand.

"Yeah!" Piqued Kuwabara. "Adrenaline doesn't last forever!"

Kurama shook his head, thanking Kami that he had the sense of mind to bring enough non-hallucinogenic painkillers for the whole group.

Yusuke followed the doctor down the long, twisting hallways.

"Hey…doc? I don't want to sound like a nag or anything, but my arm's really starting to hurt," he said, holding it gingerly.

"Well, there's not much we can do about it." Said the doctor, not even bothering to turn around.

"Well, can you at least tell me how much further we have to go?" Yusuke asked impatiently.

"It's just around the corner," answered the doctor.

"You've said that three times," commented Yusuke. "You're not lost or anything, are you?"

"And here we are." He said, opening a set of double doors that led into a dark room.

"And exactly where is 'here'?" asked Yusuke, straining his eyes to see his surroundings.

"The X-ray room." He said curtly. "Now where do you hurt the most, and how did you hurt it?"

"My right arm. I…" he trailed off, trying to find a reasonable excuse. Who would believe 'a demon did it? "I kinda got into a fight." He said, hoping the doctor bought it.

"Any instruments used in this fight?" Asked the doctor, now interested.

"Instruments?" Asked Yusuke, picturing someone bashing his arm with a violin.

"A cuestick, beer bottle, knife, you know, any weapons?" Asked the doctor, inspecting the arm.

"Oh. Well, none hit me. Actually, thinking back on it, my…friend used one, but he didn't hit me."

"I see…," said the doctor "What you're going to do is place this lead sheet on you. Place your arm on this table like this…"
He said, demonstrating. "The lead will stop the radiation from hitting anything other than your arm."

Yusuke complied, still clutching his arm.

"Oh, and let go of the arm, would you?"

"Yeah, sure." He said, letting go.
He instantly wished he hadn't. The whole arm swelled like a balloon in seconds, the pain almost making Yusuke keel over.

The doctor was oblivious to all of this, having gone into the back room where Yusuke couldn't see him.

A soft 'beep' sounded from the machine, along with the soft whirring of machinery. The doctor came back again with an assistant, holding a couple of dark sheets of flimsy film. "I'll have these sent to the orthopedics module to be examined. But in the meantime, I'd appreciate it if you wouldplease follow Nurse Amy to the orthopedics room." He said, gesturing to his assistant.

Yusuke nodded, afraid that if he opened his mouth he'd scream from the pain. The swelling was still going away, but it still looked like an inflated balloon.

"MORE PAPERWORK?" He shouted incredulously.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Urameshi, but it seems as though your insurance doesn't cover using OUR X-ray machine. Unless you sign a wavier, we can't use those results, and you'll have to go somewhere else," said the receptionist.

"SOMEWHERE ELSE?" he shouted. "WHERE?"

"Please, Mr. Urameshi, keep your voice down. You're upsetting the patients."

"Okay, fine, I'll keep it down, but will you tell me where?"

"You're registered for a Dr. Fotashima…whose office is about thirty miles from here. And I'm afraid he's on leave until 6:30.

Yusuke weighed his options carefully before finally caving. "Alright, Alright, I'll sign the damn wavier!" He exclaimed, making sure to keep his voice low as he reached for his pen.

And so the detectives and company were all successfully admitted to St. Helena's hospital. May Kami-sama have pity on the poor staff.

List of injuries:

Hiei: broken leg, cracked/broken rib.

Kurama: deep abrasions, broken wrist, bruised leg.

Kuwabara: broken ribs, broken leg, sprained ankle.

Touya: abrasions, broken leg.

Yusuke: compound fracture, bruised ribs.

Thank you for reading! I already have written the 2nd chapter. I'll have it up once I have 3 reviews.

Also, if anyone knows how I can get a friggin' indent, please let me know! It's ruining the format!

Author's final notes:

Flames are welcome, by the way. If you don't like the story, then, in the eternal words of my Gunnery Sgt.: 'don't bitch if you don't have a way to fix it.'

In other words, don't complain unless you can see WHERE it's wrong, and can see a way to fix it.

Don't just say: 'it sucks.' Try to say: 'it sucks at this part. Try adding more details in the scene that sucks.'

Oh, and as a side note: This is not a yaoi/shoen-ai story. I have nothing against them, but it's fairly obvious that their friendship is more that of being respectful towards one-another.