Title: Violet
Author: kudasai slidetackle 2x1, yaoi, lemon ( descriptive sex), small bit of angst, song-fic -
Disclaimer: I do not own the Gundam boys, nor the mechas, and am not making money off of such. I wouldhowever,enjoy such ownership. The lyrics were created and are owned by Savage Garden. They're neat and have great songs, so I suggest looking into them.
Author's note: I accidentally transverse the second and third stanzas of this song while writing this fic, but I like how it flows; please enjoy it regardless.
Lyrics in italics
Violet
I can't take this anymore, thought Duo Maxwell, moving his eyes away from the opposite end of the table. I don't know how he can keep living with that façade. He wants me, I've seen it in his eyes. I want him as well, but anything has yet to happen. Maybe…maybe he is afraid…
If there's a way that you could be
Everything you want to be,
Would you complain that it came too easy?
Just like the games with you and me
A resolution hard to see.
But that's okay 'cause I don't
See things that are plain to see.
To everyone else, Heero Yuy was the Perfect Soldier, and he went out of his way to exude that aura. Rough, callous, a walking enigma. But that was a lie. The Perfect Soldier was not as infallible as so many thought.
Each day passed and each day Duo witnessed the other drop his guard. Only through close observation did Duo discover the Wing pilot's one and only weakness: Duo himself.
You want to give ecstasy delivered with certainty
But you're afraid that the pleasure won't be needed
In a way, we're the same two people looking out to sea
For a wave that would carry all our fantasies.
"Excuse me," Duo said, uncharacteristically proper, as he rose from the table. The others too shocked to say a word, Duo walked away, his eyes glimpsing Heero's warring features.
His eyes betrayed his thoughts: disappointment at losing the opportunity to inconspicuously glance at the long-braided boy across the table yet glad that the chance of revealing the source of his true anxiety lessened.
Duo made slow progress through the safehouse that they had arrived at a day ago in the dead darkness of night, to the room that he and the enigma coincidentally shared. It was difficult enough to try to pretend that he didn't care what happened between them, but with the two of them sharing a room, the effort necessary to pretend was greatly magnified.
His thoughts, even his dreams, were mainly concentrated on the said roommate. The dreams more often than not were of a sexual nature, which did nothing to extinguish his hardly controllable desires.
Duo turned the doorknob and gladly stepped into the relief of the darkness. His relief, however, was promptly interrupted by a voice that he knew all too well.
"I need to speak with you."
I've got a dream to take you over
Exploding like a supernova
I'm gonna crash into your world,
And it's no lie.
"What?"
"I need to speak with you."
"About what?"
"You, dammit."
Duo, thinking he knew what the answer would be, and dreading it, asked anyway.
"What did I do?"
"Everything."
If there's a way to infiltrate you
Sway your mind and complicate you
I'm gonna crash into your world
And that's no lie.
"I-I did…What?" Duo stuttered in disbelief. It was not the answer that he had predicted.
"Why couldn't you just leave me alone?" Heero asked softly, more to himself than to Duo.
"Listen Yuy, either tell me what you're about or…or just let me go to sleep because to be quite frank, my patience is lacking these days," Duo said, his bitterness and bottled frustration rising to the surface.
"You already know, but I'll give you a rough overview of how my life has been since the day you shot me. I dislike submitting to that which is inevitable—"
"What? Human emotion?" Duo scoffed. "Well, great news then, Heero, because you haven't even submitted, I don't see the point that you're trying to make, but regardless, I am not the one to be blamed for your life's emotional repression—"
"Repression?" echoed Heero with an unbelieving hint of laughter. "If you knew the thoughts that have been running through my head lately you would think I was emotionally obsessed…You have no idea," he began roughly, voice slightly cracking as if losing his nerve, "Dreams—night and day—thoughts, misinterpretations…I often find myself distracted. This did not happen in the past. All these new occurrences have brought me to an unavoidable conclusion…" He paused, and then continued. "There is something that I must come to terms with. That something is you."
Let your body move into the doorway
To the disco inside your head (Violet)
Wear a color that you want to cling to
The color inside your head (Violet)
Heero, who had been sitting on Duo's bed at the start of the conversation, was now standing within arm's reach of the braided pilot.
"I must admit, I did nothing to really hide the fact. Part of me hoped that you would find out, when the other half just wished that you would disappear so I wouldn't have to confront change. One day, as I watched you, I saw that you actually could have feelings for me. Everything fell apart then. I felt. It was against every principle that I'd ever been taught. The first rule to be a true soldier is to never become attached. To anything. Physically or mentally. I had messed up." Heero moved his hands to Duo's shoulders. His right hand continued upward until it warmly covered Duo's cheek. "Now I can only wonder how my life would have been had you not shown up…But…that's just it. I've had only a very small portion of you in my life…So little that I am amazed at how my definition of life now is you."
Before Duo could say anything in response, he felt his back being slowly but lightly pushed against the wall as Heero's lips pressed against his own with surprising grace.
The feeling was soon gone.
"I'm so sorry…So many people are watching us Gundam pilots…it's so hard for me to forget the past…to let go…and give in to what I really want—"
Contemplate jealousy intermixed with urgency
A million things take a damned good shot at you and me.
"It's okay," Duo said as the remains of a single tear that slid down Heero's face shone in the moonlight, almost silver. "Heero—"
"Please, Duo. Please say it again…"
"Heero," Duo said, more slowly, then moved to claim Heero's lips again, making doubly sure that this wasn't another dream.
If there's a way to infiltrate you
Sway your mind and complicate you
I'm gonna crash into your world
And that's no lie.
They broke apart, drawing air and breathing heavily as Heero brushed back Duo's bangs, their foreheads gently grazing as Heero again began to speak.
"Duo, you might not have known how I felt about you until recently, but I swear to you that I have loved you for a very long time.
When we all suited up and went off to battle I became afraid. Yes, the one that people believed was so strong was really so weak inside. Not weak for these feelings I had for you. Not weak for being afraid that one of us, any of us, would die without knowing what it was like to love, but because I wouldn't even admit it to myself…until now."
He pulled back and looked deep into Duo's eyes, deep into the violet eyes that had so easily consumed him.
Let your body move into the doorway
To the disco inside your head (Violet)
Wear a color that you want to cling to
The color inside your head (Violet)
Duo couldn't speak; he was overwhelmed by everything that he was seeing and hearing at the moment; Heero rendered him quiet, unable to echo those words that rang so resonantly through his head, the words he had wanted to speak for so long…
"Duo. Do you love me?"
Duo could only nod.
"I want to be with you for as long as I live—"
"I want that too," Duo barely breathed.
There was a moment's pause. Then:
"I want you to take me Duo," Heero said softly.
Duo was taken aback.
"What? Heero, I can't, I—"
"I'm yours now Duo. You're the only one."
Duo caught a glimpse of what he could've mistaken for a smile before Heero took advantage of his open mouth, sliding his tongue inside of his partner's mouth as he began to unbutton Duo's black top.
Heero slid his hand inside of the shirt, brushing his thumb over raised flesh, seeking a reaction out of Duo, who responded, gasping audibly into Heero's mouth.
The touch that was Heero's hand sent Duo's mind reeling, his thoughts muddling due to the close contact that he was encountering. He was here, with Heero, who was touching him, firmly, gently…
He thought back to the days that he and Heero had seemingly been innocent pilots together. Heh, innocent was hardly the appropriate term. It would be difficult to remain innocent after being exposed to death since the beginning of life, being trained to do anything in one's power to dispose of, to annihilate, to destroy, whatever fancy word one can substitute for the much harder, much more realistic term—kill—one's enemy; being taught to restrain emotions and reactions, and taught to avoid revealing one's true identity at any cost.
It was for this reason that Duo cried angry tears at this moment. For this reason he nor Heero, nor any of the other pilots had known anything about love, happiness, joy. In a soldier's itinerary, such ideals were absent.
He hated the world for the roles that they had all been plunged into, coerced into playing. After all, the world needed heroes.
But, through fate, through the years of war they'd all endured, came something other than hate, something quite the opposite:
Love.
It was for this reason that Duo felt the hot tears of what he would call forgiveness sliding down his face. He forgave society for needing heroes; he forgave the professors for coming up with a plan to save Earth. He realized that if such things had not taken place, he would not have had the simple joy of being in this moment.
Though these thoughts were honest and sincere, they were soon swept away by the sensation of feeling.
Heero gripped Duo's forearms and guided him away from the support of the wall to the inescapable firmness of the bed. He ran his fingers tantalizingly down the stomach of the man below him, slowly, yet moving with deliberation. He pulled the black shirt off of Duo's body, and leaned into a deep kiss as he rolled the braided pilot on top of him.
Duo felt Heero's teeth gently scrape against his own. His momentary confusion regarding what he should do first dissipated, and he broke the kiss only to tug the dark green tank top over Heero's head.
He drank in Heero's upper half, as if dehydrated, and instinctively proceeded to unbutton the jeans, as their moist, starved lips clashed in a relentless battle.
Heero's hands stumbled slightly as he grasped at the metal button of Duo's own garments, but remained confident, yanking the offending article to the braided man's thighs, to be promptly kicked away. He loosened the waistline of Duo's boxer shorts, drawing the band into his forefingers and pausing, for only a small moment, to savor the intensity, the gravity, of this time together.
The cobalt eyes stared in awe at the vision that met them: the lightly tanned body, the flat pane of chest and abdominal muscles spanning solidly, shamelessly across Duo's front. His next move would complete Duo's satiating naked form—he grasped the end of the braid and pulled away the hair tie.
The hair fell heavily and quickly as it unraveled itself, creating a thick curtain around his face as he stared down at Heero.
"Are you sure?" Duo quietly whispered to the man.
A firm nod. "Yes, of course."
I'm gonna take you
I'll do my best to break you
I'm gonna take you higher
And that's no lie.
As those calculating fingertips raked gently through his own light brown hair, Duo extricated a bottle of lotion from within the bedside table.
He lathered his member and then his fingers, then poised them at Heero's entrance and slowly pushed one digit inside.
Heero winced at the sudden, but not unexpected, intrusion, but did not otherwise reveal any other sign of discomfort. He wanted this, this way, and could bear this momentary awkward physicality, just as long as they could experience this together. This could not be taken from them.
Common sense is a game many
People don't like to play
But give it in and the moment takes
You either way.
"Relax, Heero," Duo said gently, as he encountered resistance.
Heero nodded, soothed by the care in his voice, and did the best he could to relax. To his surprise, the movement within him became less harsh and more pleasurable. Slowly Duo added another finger to the rhythm, adjusting his angle from within.
Before Heero even realized it, he felt his breath catch in his throat as his head fell back onto the bed, and heard a throaty gasp escape him as he jerked his hips upward against Duo's laboring hand.
Duo continued to press his fingers against what he knew was Heero's prostate. Watching the cobalt eyes widen and close in pleasure was making Duo's member pulse with anticipation. He removed his fingers and positioned himself right against Heero's opening.
He grabbed both of Heero's hands and placed them into each of his own, then slowly began to push inside.
I've got a dream to take you over
Exploding like a supernova
I'm gonna crash into your world,
And that's no lie.
The invasion of Duo's hardness within him was blunt and uncomfortable. He would have described it as painful had he not been a soldier and learned to control such pain, but Duo had realized this beforehand and stilled himself for Heero to adjust as soon as he was fully enclosed. He then released Heero's hands and pulled his copilot within his arms, waiting patiently.
After a moment, Heero spoke.
"I'm allright now, Duo, just…slowly."
Duo nodded his understanding, pulling out slower than really necessary, experiencing agonizing pleasure as Heero gripped him; it took every ounce of his willpower not to pound into his lover possessively, senselessly, but this was the first time, the first moment, and at that thought, he quelled his feral urge.
Heero began to meet the slow thrusts from Duo, pushing against his mate; the feeling changed from awkward to increasingly sensual, and his legs spread inexplicably wider, further welcoming his newfound lover.
Duo longed to speed up their rhythm, and took Heero's writhing beneath him as an invitation to do so. He thrusted back into Heero with considerably more force, and heard the dark-haired man groan erotically below him.
"Duo, please, harder—"
Duo moaned loudly at the instruction, unsheathing himself completely and then slamming back within that velvet cavern of heat, hearing his balls slap satisfyingly against Heero's ass.
"Yeeessss Duoo—"
"Heero! Baby—you feel sooo good…ahhh! Wanted this…foreverrr…"
"Yesss! Duo! So good inside me…uhhh…so, so, GOOD—"
Heero was going to come, soon, but he was holding it off as long as he could. Because of Duo's position, the hair let loose from the braid was alternately brushing against his hips and returning to tease at his erection and balls, catching in the more coarse hairs at his base as Duo relentlessly pounded into him.
He couldn't take it any longer. Heero was squirming, abs flexing, hips rolling beneath him, fisting the bed sheets with all of his usually frightening strength. But it all just incited him more, pushing him and pushing him to the brink, and when he finally couldn't stand the mind-searing pleasure, he felt his hand grip Heero's cock, managing only a few strokes before his mind and body betrayed him.
"Heero—!" he screamed as he saw blinding white, and all thought ceased.
The roughness of Duo's hand as it clenched his shaft was all of the reason Heero needed to release his burning white hot passion between their bodies, the evidence of pleasure bathing their torsos, wave after wave as he descended into thoughtlessness.
Let your body move into the doorway
To the disco inside your head (Violet)
Wear a color that you want to cling to
The color inside your head (Violet)
When he came back to again, he found the covers pulled up around them and Duo propped leisurely against him, chest heaving gently with each intake and exhalation of breath, his violet eyes searching his as they lay.
"Hey," Heero said softly, a smile creeping stealthily onto his face.
"Hey—" Duo replied sweetly, but sleepily. He then kissed Heero soundly again.
Heero wrapped his arms around Duo's sweet body and pulled him close, so the other's beautiful head came to rest on his chest, warming him, giving him courage to speak.
"So—"
"So…the war," Duo said with a grimace as he turned to face Heero again.
"Well, yes, that, but also…what about the others? Are we going to tell them?"
Duo thought silently for a moment.
"No. Not yet. Now's not the time. Later…Quatre will probably figure it out anyway, with that space heart of his—then Trowa would know for sure—"
"And us? During the war? Do you think it's possible—"
"Anything is possible, Heero. But, yes, us. Together. Forever. War or not, it's you and me…Do you think we can make it through it all? Together?"
If there's a way that you could be everything you want to be,
Would you complain that it came too easy?
In a way we're the same two people looking out to sea
For a wave that would carry all our fantasies.
Heero thought about it for a moment. The war was long, hard, strenuous, trying. It pushed all of them to the brink even on the best of days. It would be a miracle if they all made it out alive. There was so much riding on their success, and so many things had changed since the colonies had turned against them…
But his next thought made all of those difficulties seem trivial. He envisioned the end of the war, peace restored…He would have a life of his own then, one where he could spend every waking moment with this man, whom he loved…
They were awfully gifted soldiers…and Duo had said forever…
Heero rolled over, facing Duo completely, and stared into the most beautiful pair of eyes he had ever seen in his life, and he thought of waking up to them every morning, to a violet sunrise…
"You know what, Duo?" he said quietly, before pulling his love into his arms and kissing him fiercely, with all of the emotion that he had been denied for years. "I think we can."
owari